IT USES 96 BATTERIES

Kaitlin/Nonbinary (xei/xeim & they/them)/23/bi Insta: lizard_the_kid Personal twitter: @lizardykid Art twitter: @lizardthekid

[thundersnot]

hiiii yall, might finally be revisiting tumblr now that Twitter seems to be dying... how do you do fellow kids

[severalowls]

The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

[severalowls]

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy, I used to feed it to my clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…? Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s chemically made with preservatives.

[thundersnot]

Obligatory birthday post

I'm 23

🎉

[gertritude-art]

the only two ways i can categorize height is if i see something tall i go 'woah, big boy man' and if i see something short i go 'hah.. baby man' and idk what to blame for this. anyway wanna hear about the times ghosts have touched my ass

[adorablecake]

The Original

[thundersnot]

Feeling 22

[derpypandaqueen]

Since I know none of yall have lost your energy for supporting black people right now, you should check out this blog with over 1000 black-owned online shops.

https://themadmommy.com/black-owned-etsy-shops/

[fireandwonder]

It’s organized by category (so it’s not as overwhelming as it sounds) and there’s an LGBT section!

[thundersnot]

I dont know if I've mentioned it around here, but just shouting out that I've mostly moved to Twitter, and you can follow me @ lizardthekid ... Although I might need to visit here occasionally to scream to the void about my ex, since he still follows me on Twitter and frequents there more often.

[sistertaxon]

donkey saying “parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet” implies

the existence of a concept of a hell and damnation in the shrek universe;

the recognition that the earth is one of several spherical bodies which orbit the sun

[kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd]

parfait is a french word which implies another troubling feature of the shrek universe: france

[thundersnot]

Who's got 2 thumbs, and just turned 21?

[dankmemeuniversity]

[weaver-z]

FUCK conversation starters, we only use conversation STOPPERS in this house! “Oh hi, how was your day?” “I’d peg Michael Myers.” BOOM! Conversation, dead in a flash!

[enbieslovingenbies-forest]

nonbinary people can be fat! they can be black or brown! they can be amab! they can be feminine!

do not let anyone make you believe nonbinary is only afab thin white androgynous on the masculine side people only!

nonbinary people come in all shapes and sizes!

[bisexuanal]

I hate men so much they literally are like this. Purposeful incompetence to avoid responsibilities they don’t want …………… the comments on this post on fb were So bad

[patrickat]

Save the leftovers. Throw the whole man out.

[runcibility]

Imagine being this fucking petty over a reasonable request to do even a fraction of the share of housework, and thinking you’re a good partner. Makes you understand how so many dudes can be clueless and full of shit on so many other topics, too.

[smitethestate]

I hope his wife poured a glass of spaghetti and gulped it slowly while making steady eye contact with him as her lawyer presented the divorce papers.

[soryualeksi]

“Haha, that’ll TEACH my wife!!”

Dude, you’re supposed to LOVE her. I hope she sees this and dumps your worthless ass. While she has that glass of spaghetti.

[january-warlock]

#marie kondo your marriage

[ziggyplayedd]

things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever

change the color used to highlight text on your laptop

move the pictures on your wall

stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all

slightly vary your commute, even just by one street

change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed

drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real

shower with the lights off, without music

buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room

start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing

wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night

listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015

[sandersstudies]

Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!

The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!

This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!

[extork]

I have been quoting this tiktok for the past two weeks.

[soupsluts]

This bitch had like 5 accents

[tqueeninactive]

transcription:  “you’re a nice guy. (shifts to singsongy british accent) i’ll think about it maybe xo baybeoi uh oh eehjfgoi SHEND HIM KISSHEOIS. i didn’t know i would moive in with his missusWOOOOOT GET A LOIFE WE’RE LIVIN WITH HIS WOIFE like.. (disturbingly serene) what was i meant to do…? ehehehe. (sudden american accent) oh bitch oi seemBUHHURH BREAST KILLA?? mm. HEHEHEHEHEHE (back to british accent) she doied. that’s what she desehves. (sudden new yorker accent) this stoopid princess bitch has been fuckin goin against me since i downloaded this goddamn app. she’s like (peppa pig again) oih you’re heare? no problemm. an- oo OO OOOHOHOHOHOOO OHOHOHOHO HOHOHOWAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ….oh i was first heh!”

[dailyrougethebat]

[thundersnot]

i updated my tumblr app for the first time in months, and ive gotta say, i actually rlly like this deep dark blue, and poppy colors when making a new post... reminds me of a chalkboard