y'done goofed, son

thinking about gay shit, probably They/Them pronouns 24 years old

[secretmellowart]

Isn't that lovely, and isn't that cool? And isn't that cruel? And aren't I a fool to have...

[schpog-art]

Her presidential suit was nice but have you ever thought about..... 👀💦 I did the lines, @glasworks did the color. ❤️

[shimmervee]

be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

[statelywingmanor]

You can leave as many cookies as you want but he’ll only et two

[shimmervee]

this remains the funniest addition anyone’s made to one of my posts

[ayatollahsmegmafactory]

This is frying me so hard she really deleted all of his podcasts 😂😂😂

[coughloop]

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

[frontmansdefender]

I wish every ad that takes you to app store or any site as soon as your finger accidentally touches it a very. bankrupt and die

[aropride]

red fucking alert if you’re currently experiencing a beautiful spring day after a long and brutal winter DO NOT TRUST IT this is NOT spring it is FALSE SPRING we still have SEVERAL WEEKS OF COLD do NOT let your guard down

[userfish]

hey so I’m talking with my wife and I just realized she’s never felt an earthquake so uh

have you ever felt an earthquake

yes

no

Voting ended onFeb 24

and pls reblog i need to know!!!!!!!

[rate-my-reptile]

Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL dirt and you may find A Friend And Boy…

[lilhoneycat]

[childhoodnostalgias]

[yardsards]

just remembered the other day a teen approached me holding a rapidly melting chunk of ice in his hand and asked if i wanted to buy a "limited edition pet rock"

[cipheramnesia]

Most of my conversations sound like this

Me: Says something.

Someone else, doesn't hear: What?

Me, confused about what thing they didn't hear: What?

Them, confused: What?

Me, more confused: What?

Them: What did you say?

Me, having now forgot the original thing I said: ...

[alexseanchai]

In this house we say "I heard words?" and then the speaker of the original thing knows to say it again louder (or say "talking to cat" or whatever, as applicable)

[cipheramnesia]

In this house, we just do the thing I mentioned, over and over mainly.

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

anyway. onto better things

[sburbling]

onto better things thursday

[jackkdaniels]

extremely good trope: injured character sees their own blood on someone else who's otherwise unscathed and gives a concerned "are you hurt?" double points if they're so injured they're barely lucid

[sanctuarytiktok]

Edgar's Mission

[troutreznor]

they're trying to make you hate sex and porn and hate being fat again therefore it is imperative that all fatties fuck nasty in the streets 2day

[oysters-aint-for-me]

i’m obsessed with this

and then, two months later....

🥺

[very-gay-alkyrion]