Be gay do crime

Tiegan // 25 // UK // They/She // I'm simply vibing

[cashytouille]

I was messing around for the background and did the NASA logo by accident... :D

[snuffysbox]

guy who didn't ask for any of this of all time

[lululablette]

🩸🌟

[seshat15fr]

i like knight&princess

[adziedoodlesphan]

everyone can have some more phyuri as a treat 🍭

butch dan x femme phil phyuri as requested by @lancereal — thank you so much for commissioning me! 🥰

request a commission on my ko-fi (online tip jar) | more phan doodles here

[skxtchb3ar]

That Matpat voicing toy bonnie reveal has gotten me obsessed with securitywaiter again. And i'm going to make it EVERYONES problem.

Have some My Chemical Yaoi

(Click for better quality >_<)

[hyper-jam-deactivated20260505]

I redrew one of my old SecWait pieces and I’m like stunned by my own improvement whadahell.

I looked at the original thinking it’d just be a slightly cleaned up version but no it looks like it was made by a whole different artist. I did not remotely realize how much my style has changed and improved (og under the cut)

[josephmcdingle]

almost forgot to post this doodle because the movie was ass

[matchesandnails]

what a happy family

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[hairscare]

me and stevo talk about the commodification of alternative crowds

[sneefsnorf]

stop using chat gpt. i can also feed you misinformation when you ask me questions and also im beautiful

[sneefsnorf]

some piece of penis on twitter stole my post then that got reposted to tumblr and got 60k notes. my psyonic warriors. source your chat gpt slander ethically

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog if you source your chat gpt slander ethically

[charlesoberonn]

If I were a security guard for a person who’s being targeted by assassins I simply wouldn’t devote my entire attention span to every single noise I hear.

[charlesoberonn]

Why do I care if there’s a random noise in this out-of-the-way dark corner? My post is right here.

[catrinecat]

But… but I threw a rock there. Y-you gotta check

[charlesoberonn]

If I hear a noise I’m gonna throw a flash grenade in that direction.

[catrinecat]

MY EYES AND EARS

[charlesoberonn]

“Got a neutralized assassin in gate 17.”

“Did they try distracting you by throwing a rock?”

“Yeah, they did.”

“Fucking idiot.”

[catrinecat]

4 years of community assassin college for nothing

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

You know what really makes this post? The fact that the assassin’s blog is deactivated. Seems OPs flashbang worked.

[charlesoberonn]

What have I done?!

[homoquartz]

just practicing trying to loosen up poses. still stiff but getting there!

i always feel halloweeny about this show

(ko-fi here)

[hjartasalt]

Not now kitten daddy's googling his symptoms

[hjartasalt]

Daddy has five days left to live

[hjartasalt]

Daddy wishes to be cremated

[hjartasalt]

It's what daddy would have wanted

[hjartasalt]

Hi. Everyone else go home this is the only tag that matters to me

[lennyjamin]

fondly remembering when pope francis said he hopes hell is empty. top pope francis moments. right up there with him saying some seminaries are too faggy

[cheaphalloweencostume]

of course, im not a cop and i don’t pretend to be, you can do whatever the hell you want with your items. go ahead and wear your HP shit out and keep telling your trans friends that “i don’t support her but im just such a ravenclaw i can’t let my fandoms go haha” and you will quickly find your friend group dwindling down to nothing. almost as if by magic!