Rabdomness

I just reblog stuff mostly. Every now and then I post my own shit. He/Xe/They please. 20s

[tigerwing-infinity]

Sideblogs:

@tigerwing-writing where I reblog things to note

@tigerwing-writing2 where I actually post most of my writing

@tigerwing-art where I post most of my art

@tigerwing-animal-hrt for my therian hrt writing

Useful links:

Kofi

Discord

[animalmagazine]

Introducing Wild States, a new speculative fiction serial by the Sparrow System, set 30 years in our future where Species Affirming Therapy has been normalized but comes under threat of a very familiar-sounding reactionary administration.

*** Wild States will be published every Friday on ANIMAL's website. Check out the very first issue for yourself now, and support the Sparrow System's creative endeavours by sharing Wild States with others.

Wild States

Volume 1: Eyes Open - Issue 1: Katie and Paul

[animalmagazine]

The next issue of Wild States is now on our website! Wild States, a new speculative fiction serial by the Sparrow System, set 30 years in our future where Species Affirming Therapy has been normalized but comes under threat of a very familiar-sounding reactionary administration. *** '“First therian in space,” he repeated under his breath. He wondered if it was really true, or if he was just the first one lucky enough to have access to SAT. He was definitely the only one lucky enough for SAT-5X. Either way, he’d better put on a damn good show. It was hard to get him to care about other people, but other critters were a different story.'

You can read the full issue on our website:

Wild States

Volume 1: Eyes Open - Issue 2: Kale and the Needle

[capatincrunch]

You *are* trans! You are not faking it, you have no reason to fake it, how can someone be fooling herself into feeling joy? The joy you felt is real, do more of the things that make you feel this joy, if you have people you can trust, tell them to she/her you and use feminine terms for you more often

this helps. This really helps. Tysm anon

[capatincrunch]

@this-is-trans-joy @i-suggest-transing-your-gender

[i-suggest-transing-your-gender]

I agree! Do what makes you happy, trans your gender!!!

[nonbinarynow]

Reminder that you don't have to call yourself AMAB or AFAB. You don't have to say "I'm AFAB nonbinary." Saying "I'm nonbinary" is enough. You don't need to identify with what you were assigned as by some doctor however many years ago. Mentioning your ASAB is scarcely relevant to most conversations, even those about medical transitioning.

Nonbinary is enough, you don't have to supplement it with a binary system of any kind. It doesn't matter how many people want to know your "transition direction." It doesn't matter how many people want to know what your genitals are (which wouldn't be alluded to by your assigned sex anyway). It doesn't matter how many people want to binarise you. It doesn't matter how many binary people you confuse. No one needs to binarise you. Nonbinary. Is. Enough.

[kotori-mochi]

Can't afford art school?

After seeing post like this 👇

And this gem 👇

As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.

Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.

📺Here is my list:

Proko (Free, mostly teaches anatomy and how to draw people. But does have art talks and teaches the basics.)

Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard and teaches you everything)

Aaron Rutten (free, tips about art, talks about art programs and the best products for digital art)

BoroCG (free, teaches a verity of art mediums from 3D modeling to digital painting. As well as some tips that can be used across styles)

Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)

Jesus Conde (free, teaches digital painting and has classes in Spanish)

Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)

Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price. Mostly teaching character designs and simple backgrounds.)

SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)

Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)

The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney. Mostly nature art)

Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)

Sinix Design (has some tips on drawing people)

Winged canvas (art school for free on a verity of mediums)

Bob Ross (just a good time, learn how to paint, as well as how too relax when doing art. "there are no mistakes only happy accidents", this channel also provides tips from another artist)

Scott Christian Sava (Inspiration and provides tips and advice)

Pikat (art advice and critiques)

Drawbox (a suggested cheap online art school, made of a community of artist)

Skillshare (A cheap learning site that has art classes ranging from traditional to digital. As well as Animation and tutorials on art programs. All under one price, in the USA it's around $34 a month)

Human anatomy for artist (not a video or teacher but the site is full of awesome refs to practice and get better at anatomy)

Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.

📚Here is my list:

The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.

"Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.

"Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.

"Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.

"Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.

"Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.

"Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.

"Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.

"An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.

Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.

📝As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. If you want to go fancy Michaels is always a good place for traditional supplies. They also get in some good sales and discounts. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are usually more expensive.

For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.

💻As for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.

Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates. Galaxy, Windows, macOS, iPad, iPhone, Android, or Chromebook device. )

Procreate ( pay once for $9.99 usd, IPAD & IPHONE ONLY)

Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, animation and more. Free)

PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)

Krita (Free)

mypaint (free)

FireAlpaca (free)

Aseprite ($19.99 usd but has a free trail, for pixel art Windows & macOS)

Drawpile (free and for if you want to draw with others)

IbisPaint (free, phone app ONLY)

Medibang (free, IPAD, Android and PC)

NOTE: Some of these can work on almost any computer like Clip and Sai but others will require a bit stronger computer like Blender. Please check their sites for if your computer is compatible.

So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.

I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.

Hope this was helpful and have a great day.

"also apologies for any spelling or grammar errors, I have Dyslexia and it makes my brain go XP when it comes to speech or writing"

[animalphotorefs]

Boosting this in case any of the programs and books suggested are useful.

All the photos on this tumblr ad the animal photo reference site I run is another resource available for artists to use!

As long as you’re not using AI to create your art, you can reference / trace / draw / recombine / make any sort of art you want, with any of the photos, for free.

[reo-speeddragon]

There's also MORPHO, a really good book series on anatomy by Michel Lauricella, with very clear explanations and sketches!

And for pose references, there's @adorkastock who shares a ton of them for free, with different models and props, and her website is amazing <3 you can also buy pose packs from her.

[ruvigapo]

Adding a few:

1. FORCE with Michael Mattesi (big in animation education and the first guy i talk about whenever folks ask where i learned to give weight to shapes)

2. Ethan Becker (also has a focus on animation, with an emphasis on how to study and simplify shapes and movement. Runs a discord community and an online school).

3. Moderndayjames (has Lots of great breakdowns of artistic principles you may not have considered and explains it all really well).

There are also a Bajillion animation instructors on youtube in general but i don't want to overwelm people with things to check out so

[no-one-offical]

‎

[faggotisaacfloofs]

the person who helped today when I fell out of my wheelchair actually did a really great job, so I want to share in case other people wonder what to do. [Note: this is not universal, this is merely a suggestion from one person, every wheelchair user's needs are different! I am a person who uses a manual chair usually pushed by someone else who is also disabled.]

Scenario: you see someone in a wheelchair fall out of their chair, and you have the ability to help.

1. Approach and ask "are you okay?"*

2. Next question if they say no, are vague, or open to continuing conversation** is, "is there anything I can do to help?" Or "what can I do?"

If they say no to help, then that's the end, just leave and go do whatever you were doing!

If they ask for help or say they are mildly injured, ask "what would you like me to do?" And wait for an answer before doing anything! If they seem dazed or confused, they might have hit their head or had another medical event*, or they might just be like that due to regular disability. Be patient.

Do not touch the person unless they say to, or they are like, unconcious in the middle of the road, ya know?? Wheelchair users usually have conditions that mean being handled improperly can severely injure us, you could cause much more damage than the fall.

Some things they might need you to do:

Bring their wheelchair closer (mine went about 5 feet away after it dumped me)

engage the brakes of the wheelchair

hold wheelchair steady if it's an unsteady surface (mud, hill, ramp, wet, etc)

offer an arm for them to hold onto to get up (them grabbing you, not you grabbing them) or move another solid item closer for them to use (i.e. a chair) [only do this if you physically have the ability to!]

If the terrain is rough (i.e. a parking lot), they *might* ask you to push their chair to a more stable area once they are back in their chair

nothing

Something else

Do what they ask, NOT what you think would be helpful. If for some reason you have to do something (i.e. you can't stop oncoming traffic and need to get them out) ASAP, tell them what you plan to do

Keep in mind they might also be D/deaf, have a communication disability, be stunned after the fall, have a head injury, not trust other people, etc. Be patient and treat them as a person with autonomy and agency! They might need to just sit on the ground for a few minutes to recover before trying to get back in their chair. They might want everyone to leave them alone. They might ask you to call someone specific. Their chair might have broken and that can be extremely distressing. All of this is like if your legs spontaneously stop working when you're out and about!

A lot of wheelchair users (NOT ALL) have ways to get into their chair on their own once the chair is close enough and brakes engaged (but it's hard from the ground!). Here's what brakes look like on a lot of manual wheelchairs, in case they ask you to lock the brakes. They're levers on each side and pushing the lever pushes a bar against the wheel to hold it still.

ID: A manual wheelchair with the brake levels circled in red and labeled "user brake levers"

*There is also the possibility of course that a person fell out of their chair due to a seizure or other medical event, so that is why it is important to ask if they are okay. If you saw them hit their head, tell them so. If they had a medical event, follow protocol for that, I'm not gonna get into it here (thought I could).

**sometimes a person will be clear after the first question i.e. "I'm all good thanks" clearly means they do not need you to ask another question, you can just leave them alone. Keep walking and don't stare. A lot of the time people will be a bit banged up but be totally fine and able to manage on their own.

TLDR: Ask the wheelchair user if they're okay, then what they need, and then do exactly that, including leaving them alone. Thanks!

[ghost-in-a-pinata]

an important reply in the tags

[aangel-biites]

[ID: A reply reading, "It's worth noting that unless someone is in immediate danger (on a road, near a chemical spill) there's basically no justification to move a unresponsive person on the ground, basic first aid will tell you that your objective is to stabilize and support until actual trained professionals arrive. Even outside of the context of pre-existing disability and being mishandled, if someone has a brand new neck injury you could seriously, permanently harm them by causing undue stress on the spine. You should always assume an unresponsive person on the ground has internal injuries you can't account for, and unless they're about to get smushed or asphyxiate on vomit leave them where you found them and call an ambulance." End ID]

[trickstarbrave]

I have been enjoying seeing people experience food this World Cup

[this-is-trans-joy]

Hi there! I apologise if this isn't really relevant or if you've covered this before, but there's a binder alternative called the KINDer, which currently has a kickstarter!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/thekinder/the-kinder-a-redistributing-binder?ref=discovery&term=kinder&total_hits=377&category_id=263

It uses fat redistribution rather than compression, meaning they get to be much less tight than regular binders

This blog has quite a sizeable audience and reach, and this could be an amazing binder alternative for transmasc people who struggle with regular binders (like myself)! As of sending this ask, they have 11 days left and €19k out of €26k pledged. I would really appreciate it if you could help bring awareness to this, I don't think they have much of a presence on Tumblr?

(I'm not one of the creators, just a transmasc person who really wants one of these <3)

Thank you so much for sharing!!

The KINDer - A Redistributing Binder

The KINDer is an invention that uses redistributing from corset boning instead of compression to help keep breast tissue flat.

[unidentifiablelifeform]

[dawn4ngel]

[bbcwhereareyou]

[punchholesinthesky]

[tigerwing-animal-hrt]

Tigrenere HRT pt 2 (Reboot)

I woke up, feeling like ants were crawling all over me. Nothing was there, except for a fuzziness and some pain- I must have been scratching in my sleep. The fuzziness was new, something a bit thicker than peach fuzz, but just as soft. It grew in patches. I now wondered if I’d need to get special shampoo and conditioner…

I got up to take a shower anyways, figuring the products for whatever was growing in could wait. I noticed that my smell had changed slightly. It could have been my imagination, but everything smelled stronger and more complex as well. Although I could smell the trash from the opposite end of the kitchen.

When I got under the water, I had to make it cooler as it stung the scratches I’d left this morning. It was interesting seeing the hair and faint stripes on my body. The hair was short, soft, and fluffy, kind of like my undercut. Maybe my undercoat was growing in first?

I toweled off and the patches of fur became very fluffy, resembling the coat of a kitten after a bath. In a way that made sense. So far the patches were few, mostly in places I already had hair, but the weirdest patch was probably the one on my jaw.

I wondered if there was anything special I’d need to do to take care of it, then decided I would just keep using my regular body wash until I was told otherwise. I turned on my music to listen to as I got dressed, and immediately had to turn the volume down from where I had it. My hearing was getting more sensitive, apparently.

I scribbled down some notes on the changes so far- the fur growth and the senses getting sharper, before I forgot. As I stretched, I realized just how much my back hurt, right between my shoulder blades. I figured it was probably posture, it was way too early to be my wings, I told myself.

My stomach growled and I was reminded that I needed to eat. I was craving something, I couldn’t fully tell what, so I made up a plate of bacon. It was gone just as fast as I made it, and I ended up eating almost the entire pound before the hunger and cravings were sated. I sat down and relaxed for a bit, I still had some time before the next meeting of the therian group, and I didn’t have work today.

I spent some time admiring the stripes starting to appear on my arms and legs, and wondered how my back looked. The few patches of fur were white with black stripes, matching what I was hoping for. Matched my hair too, I thought.

When it was time to go to the meeting I realized how excited I was to show off my changes. I’ve come so far in a few short months! All the fur was new, within the last couple of days, and the stripes were within the last couple weeks, but had been very faint.

There was a group of protesters outside of the meeting when I got there. I grinned at them as they tried shoving microphones under my nose.

“I don’t know which of you it is, but one of you reeks. What is that, body odor and sewage?” I ducked into the building before anyone could respond. Unsurprisingly, only the regulars had made it in, either arriving before the protesters or having the nerve to make it through the crowd.

I excitedly showed off the stripes to Alexis, who seemed pleased with my progress. Sure, things weren’t changing in the same order, but that’s alright.

A few days later, my first follow up appointment was approaching. I was nervous for it, enough I could barely sleep. I yawned and walked outside, but didn’t realize just how late it was. It looked like dusk still, despite the sea of stars above me. Perhaps it was my imagination, but there seemed to be more stars above me than usual.

I started to walk to the nearby park, thankful for the peace that comes with walking late in the evening, even if I could see as well as I could during the late evening, when the sun was just on the horizon. I typed that into my notes, that my night vision was improving. I realized though that I couldn’t see some colors as brightly- the red of a stop sign looked muddy. I wrote that down as well.

Sure, it wasn’t something I’d planned on, but I didn’t mind it. The beauty of the night was worth the muddying of reds, at least so far.

I got ready for my appointment, noticing that the patches of fur had gown, some even connecting. I couldn’t stop running my fingers over it. The itchiness had subsided, luckily. My nails had gotten sharper, making the scratches I was leaving a lot worse than when the growth started.

The waiting room was empty when I got there, a little bit odd. I sat and waited patiently, feeling a weird sensation of flicking my tail- a tail that wasn’t physically there. After a while my name was called.

“Hello, doctor!” I said cheerfully, walking in.

“Hello, Ice.” The doctor said flatly.

“Is everything alright, doctor?”

‘Yes, yes, I’m just exhausted. The media has been hounding me, but that isn’t any of your concern.”

“I noticed some changes, doc, but I think you can see some of them.”

“Yes, yes I can. Fur growth seems normal, skin pigmentation as well, though usually those changes take longer. I will need to do a hearing test as well as an eye exam.”

“Alright. To warn you though, my hearing has gotten more sensitive. Little noises are very annoying now, when before I didn’t even notice them.”

“Noted. I’ll be careful, but it may still be too loud. How about your vision?”

“Reds are looking muddier, and my night vision has improved drastically.”

“As expected. I do wonder, have you had any issues with your eyesight yet?”

“What do you mean ‘yet’?”

“White tigers, as I’ve had to find out through one of my other patients, have issues relating to the optic nerve.”

“Can you do anything to fix it?”

“No.”

“What do I do when it happens?”

“You go to an eye doctor. Your options are limited. I happen to know that many of my patients go to a support group. You could ask around there.”

“That’s scary. Alright, doc.”

“I know part of your ideal form included wings. Have you noticed any changes there?”

“I’ve had some soreness on my back, between my shoulder blades. I figured it was just from my posture.”

“It may not have been.”

First/Previous Next

[steampunktoy]

I made an Android phone watercolour app called Waterwheel. This post is the pinned intro if you're new here, because Tumblr is like the only place online that keeps getting rediscovered by confused people in pith helmets.

Iiiiiif you've landed on this blog and you're wondering what I'm up to lately: I built an Android app for watercolour painters, and this is the place I keep talking about it.

Waterwheel is a pocket studio tool. Not a social app, not a subscription trap, not another RGB colour picker (actually colorlovers is great for that). It's for people who think: 'Look, is a new watercolour tube really so bad compared to a cup of coffee'.

All the bits:

Wheel - spin and compare outer and inner hues, read blend previews, and open manufacturer matches (Daniel Smith, Winsor & Newton, Schmincke, Sennelier, and more — 18 bundled catalogues so far). Warm/cool variants, harmonies, staining and granulation notes where the data has them.

Frame - camera study tools for the field: Claude Glass (circular value study) and a viewfinder with crop ratios. Handy for plein air and urban sketching when you want a second look at value and composition.

Palette - log what's actually in your paintbox and then go buy duplicates anyway, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE. Catalogue colours or custom entries. Track what you're running low on.

Learn - short glossary and technique cards for when you're mid-session and want a distraction from overworking your piece.

Most of it runs offline on your phone (like, except the camera bit). No login. No friend lists. No data harvesting. You pay once ($4.99 AUD - less if you don't use Monopoly money) and that's it. You wouldn't believe how confusing it was finding how to do this in Google.

I'm an artist who wanted this for my own painting - not a studio, not a company. I made it because I needed a practical way to see which colours each manufacturer actually sells for a hue, and what to substitute when the tube I want isn't on the shelf.

If you paint in watercolour, sketch outdoors, or hoard half-empty tubes like the rest of us — it might be useful.

Google Play (Android): https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.enpleinhare.waterwheelcolourwheel

Questions welcome in asks/replies. I read them.

If you can't use Android, I'm sorry - it's Play-only for now - I'd love to do an iPhone version but I don't have an iPhone to test on. If you can, and you try it, I'd love to hear what works and what doesn't.

Thanks for being here!

[animalmagazine]

Introducing Wild States, a new speculative fiction serial by the Sparrow System, set 30 years in our future where Species Affirming Therapy has been normalized but comes under threat of a very familiar-sounding reactionary administration.

*** Wild States will be published every Friday on ANIMAL's website. Check out the very first issue for yourself now, and support the Sparrow System's creative endeavours by sharing Wild States with others.

Wild States

Volume 1: Eyes Open - Issue 1: Katie and Paul

[scrubbinn]

ISAS Update & Poll

Hello everyone, hope you're all enjoying Pride month. We're busy finishing up the first chapter of Act 4 for In Stars and Systems. Hope you're excited about it as we are. Near the end of Act 3 we ran into a lot of issues with writer's block and it's become clear that we need another project to work on so we don't become burnt out on ISAS. In that regard we want our followers and anyone else interested to decided the side projects we work on. This will be a "done when it's done" situation as our priority will be sticking to the two week ISAS deadline for each chapter. Please read through the options below carefully before voting.

Side project to work on

Trans masc Uma musume one-shot

A rewrite of Slime/Mimic HRT

A Magnus Archives style story set in the Animal HRT world

An Omega strikers fanfic (Our favorite game of 2022)

An original isekai story that we've been world building for a few years

Voting ended onJun 19

Also as a further update, we are currently flat broke and have been denied around 400 applications so far while we try to find work. I hate to ask this but if you have anything to spare, it'll go a lot way just for feeding ourself. We'll be linking out Ko-Fi here for anyone who's willing to donate to keep us going. Thank you

Support Scrubbin ❤️

Become a supporter of Scrubbin today!

For further detail on the projects

Uma musume project - This one-shot would follow a trans masc Uma musume as he reconciles with not only his gender, but his species being only born biologically female and the systemic issues it causes. It's a story about one's nature, where they grow up, and the clash of growing up in a toxic world.

Slime/Mimic HRT rewrite - If you've read our first work here, first of all thank you. Second of all, we are so sorry for the level of quality that is no longer up to our standard. Especially in the last few chapters we were throwing everything against the wall and seeing what stuck, which would be changed to a much more cohesive story.

Magnus archives style story - Cutter investigation firm is a government funded group of investigators tasked with analyzing the strange and esoteric, the sci-fi and magical, all in order to decide what is mundane and what should be eradicated. Set in a pocket dimension nexus connected to all realities, the cast face strange and dangerous artifacts, people, and gods, all while trying to survive dangers, and the politics that come with their horrid work.

Omega strikers fanfic - We're going to be so honest, we have no idea what we'd do for this. Who the main characters would be, or what the story would involve, we just really really really love the world Omega strikers built and want to see it continue, and we will do it ourself if we have to. The main character would probably be Ai.Mi tho.

Original isekai - This is a project we have been working on for a while, due to our love of the isekai genre conceptually, and our absolute hate for how bad it actually is. This work would be an original work with it's own crystal/elemental based magic system, in a politically fraught world and would be extremely plural as the main character is transported to a mind that's already occupied.

[ghostmoor]

A comic about people and anxiety

[lambdanets]

What if brain uploading wasn't some fancy procedure with a giant machine made of magnets and needles. no, what if it was like HRT instead? take one of these, every day for 8 years, that would be kinda crazy i think. ## Day 1 The pill looks gray, maybe with a slight green, and its very shiny, like metal. also almost perfectly round, and it has no visible seams you'd expect from a pill filled with stuff. It tastes of... well i guess nothing. you'd expected it to taste like metal but it feels like it left no trace behind. You also don't feel anything different after getting it. that's to be expected, 8 years is a very long time, you cant expect anything this soon. ## Week 2 You think something is happening, maybe? it feels like you're having a headache but you don't feel pain, just a sort of pressure, in your head. as if something is pushing its way inside. Sometimes you get these weird flashes of thought, like you're trying to remember something but its nothing specific. It feels odd but otherwise everything is fine. ## Month 3 For the past few weeks, every now and then your vision seems to flicker off and on in one spot. Never the same spot though, and there's a sort of pattern to it. You're going on with your day like normal, then in one eye a rectangular piece just disappears, and just as quickly it comes back, like nothing happened. You don't think much of it, looking up online reviews this is supposed to be normal. Just a part of the process.

Your memories have gotten weird. It's easier to recall ideas and thoughts you've had. You can sometimes remember the exact words someone spoke to you, and know you're not misremembering or making them up, they're too high fidelity for that. ## Day 1467 You've gotten really good at mental arithmetic over the few years. You weren't doing any sort of training, but any time a mathematical or even logical problem comes up, it feels much easier to get to an answer. The dread you've had from math is pretty much gone. Actually, most of your anxieties have disappeared. The world seems so much more grounded than it was before, as if it used to be an unstable vision that didn't keep its shape when you looked away. Now its all there, all the time, and a lot of it in your head. You can recognize people by their footsteps, detect emotions from their voice with complete certainty, recognize *your own* emotions as easily as the language you speak in, be it English or any of the 3 others you picked up on. You can also tell one of your friends is taking the pills too. You can sense it. Less like telepathy and more like a magnet recognizes another through its fields. You're noticing her changes, they're the same as yours were at her stage of the process. ## Day 2834 As they wheel the bed you lay on into the surgical suite, you don't feel human anymore. You're not an unemotional monster or anything, you still feel happiness, sadness, anger, if anything you feel them more than you ever did before, with so much more fidelity than ever. You still have desires and fears. You just feel so different from the person you used to be, and some things that used to be a part of your quintessential experience now just feels like a burden. Eating became boring, sleep is mostly a chore. You used to enjoy swimming and running but its been years since you last went.

One last time you confirm your identity to the surgical team, and a nurse presses a button next to the large magnet next to your head, knocking you out instantly. The doctor makes a large cut circumnavigating your scalp, then with a chemical solution works her way around your skull, dissolving it carefully down. A nurse lifts your hear off, revealing the innards. Instead of a squishy, pink brain, they find, as expected, a solid titanium sphere, built from billions of nanobots, carefully scanning sensing and replacing your neuron network one cell at a time, replicating its function precisely. As they worked, they also automated and simplified many of your functions, increasing efficiency and memory capacity.

The doctor lifts the sphere covered by sticky connective tissues upwards, severing them with tension, and transfers it into a receptacle on the side table. Along with the rest of the surgical team she moves onto your abdomen to remove your organs and other tissues for organ recipients around the country. ## day 1 You wake up. You feel different. better. You look around the room, at your hands, then body, legs. They look very much like your own, but instead of skin they're built from titanium sheathing and electric servos. All your desired changes have been implemented too of course. You feel content with yourself, as if you came home after a long trip. You step out of your alcove, getting a little notification in the corner of your vision reading "94% charged", and go make your way into the viewing room, following one of the arrows on the floor. You watch the surgeons remove the last pieces of what used to be you, box them in bio-secure containers and carry them out of the room before turning off the life support.

Today your life ends, and a new one begins