Insomnia Chronicles @tikuri - Tumblr Blog

Hey can you guys reblog Cheeseburger so he can take a sunbeam nap on lots of blogs. No other reason I just want you guys to see him.

kadzhi

one good thing about december on this hellsite is that this gif will be making its rounds again

tinyyellowflowers-blog

“Kale” was a medicinal herb used in the mid-MicroPlastic Era as a talisman against ill health and social ostracism. While other varietals of Brassica oleracea have been cultivated for food and fodder since antiquity, people in the mid-MicroPlastic would place sachets of “kale” in food storage areas and ceremonial mini-gardens to absorb “unhealthiness” from calorie-rich foods, presumably via osmosis. The used sachets were then discarded and replaced with fresh leaves to repeat the process.

ozempicofficial

icantspellthings

Mpreg Yaoi mouse is still alive and thriving

icantspellthings

Despite Yaoi mouse's survival, Yuri mouse is still far superior.

homunculus-argument

There's this fascinating phenomenon I've seen on tumblr, when someone makes a post like "hey if you do this specific thing in public shared spaces in these specific circumstances, fuck you. Not only is it annoying, it actively endangers people, and it pisses me off that you're so casual about putting other people at risk of injury or death for the sake of your own conveniece."

I tend to read through them and think through them and see if it applies to me in any way. If it doesn't, I just scroll past and let it be. But if it does, and I notice that I do, in fact, tend to do that, I'll silently cringe and go "yikes, I had never thought that doing something like that would logically naturally have that kind of consequences. I sure am glad I learned this way and not the hard way", and then discreetly never do that again and hope that nobody noticed or remembers that I used to do that.

And then there's always people in the notes of these posts, jumping up and down while raising their hand going "Ooh! Me! Me! I'm the one who does that! :D" because the sheer euphoria of having other peoples' attention completely outshines the fact that it's negative attention.

typhlonectes

saxifraga-x-urbium

important home cooking edicts:

you can sit down to do it

you can buy things pre-chopped

frozen is fine

tinned is fine

microwave is fine

the powder version is fine

the box mix is fine

the correct recipe is the one that you like the most

the correct method is the one that you can do

good nutrition is the food you can actually eat and enjoy

do not eat mouldy or rotten food

you do not need to wash the chicken you are going to cook the chicken washing the chicken just spreads raw meat bacteria all over the kitchen please stop washing chicken it is not necessary and it is the opposite of helpful

don't use raw meat knife for raw veggies or cheese unless you've washed it good

authenticity is a lie, make the version that you personally enjoy you are the person who is going to be eating it

i am serious stop giving a fuck about someone's imaginary nonna disapproving of your food she's not the one eating it you are

the correct amount of spice is the amount you are happy with

food that looks a mess can still taste just fine, your stomach isn't instagram

check you turned the stove off after

all condiments go with all things it is your mouth they're going into

unusal flavour combinations can be really effective!

check the plastic/glass is heatsafe before putting boiling water in it

most foods can be frozen

do not put dripping wet thing into hot fat. regret.

salt

set timer. "i'll just remember it's in the oven" that is the devil talking set a fucking timer

the washing machine is not a cooking appliance

if the cat has sat on it or licked it you need to wash it before you eat with/from it.

see also egg

if you add incorrect/stupid/moralising/contradictory/irrelevant/culturally insensitive/insulting advice to my post i will block you :) make your own post.

wizened-beanie-baby-moved

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

fluffylandshark

coelii

This is sweet but I really thought it was going to end with someone named “Haters Horge” who spends every second in a cave halfway across the world just loathing you for no reason and they were the statistical outlier

vacuously-true

Don't be your own Haters Horge

pizzagirlll

Throw Haters Horge in a Disastrous Gorge

genderkoolaid

the problem is that people care more about being absolved on their complicity in horrific unjust systems than they do about the systems themselves. "is it classist to be against fast fashion, since that's all some people can afford?" no its classist to keep people in a state where their only meaningful option to clothe themselves is shitty products of slave labor. everyone's guilty bitch the system won't let your hands be free of blood, lets get you some class consciousness

chillyfeetsteak

from this article, which is well worth the read, if only for the fun of seeing zuck get dunked on

tinyyellowflowers-blog

Once I was doing fieldwork with someone from Europe and said “careful, there’s a rattlesnake over there.” And she rushed over like I’d said there was a quetzal.

tinyyellowflowers-blog

I said “Ma’am please, we’re three hours from a hospital!” and she said

1.) I don’t understand how that can be

2.) But I’ve never done fieldwork from a car before (!!!) so I’ll take your word for it.

3.) Did you just call me ma’am? Like a cowboy?

tinyyellowflowers-blog

We drove through the Los Angeles megacity together — and at one point were stuck in traffic.

“Heeeey”, she said, like someone gently broaching a topic I should have noticed, “Why does the lane next to us have diamond shaped symbols on it?”

That is! A subtle and friendly way of asking why we’re sitting in traffic when there’s a carpool lane Right There! I laughed and pulled into the lane and started driving.

Unfortunately. That isn’t what she was implying, she was genuinely asking. So we were stuck in traffic, she asked about what was clearly a breakdown or emergency access lane, and I laughed and started driving in it. She was Alarmed.

“Hello! Excuse me! We can’t drive in this lane! No one else is driving in this lane!!”

“Oh! I should have said — this lane is for people with more than one person in their car.”

“That is RIDICULOUS. You are lying. You are lying about what this lane is for and we’ll get arrested! (ma’am it’s fine but if it weren’t it would be more of a “ticket” situation) we’ll get a “ticket”! (Ma’am again it’s fine but were it not I alone would get the ticket) because that IS NOT the purpose of this lane. That is a RIDICULOUS lie.”

“I’m sorry, I should have said — I thought you were being subtle about my oversight. Please observe the carpool sign.”

“I don’t know what a carpool is and I don’t believe you.”

“How about you look at all the cars stuck in traffic and see how many have more than one driver, and if there are at least five I’ll get back into the traffic jam.”

“FINE!”

(With dawning horror) “none of these cars have more than one person in them.”

“I know.”

“None of these cars have more than one person!!”

“If you weren’t here I’d be right there with them.”

“OK but there was no train to where we needed to go.”

“There’s no train to where they needed to go either.”

“HOW.”

tinyyellowflowers-blog

Later that day:

“I know McDonalds and Burger King sell Burgers, but what does Wendy’s sell?”

“Burgers”

“And Sonic?”

“Burgers.”

“Jack in the Box?”

“Burgers.”

“In’n’Out?”

“Look, It’s burgers all the way down.”

tinyyellowflowers-blog

She hopped off a plane, went camping on Catalina with her husband and his lab, and then I showed her a rattlesnake, dragged her through heavy brush, took her (food) shopping in Beverly Hills, illustrated American car dependency and love of burger, and threatened to shoot someone trying to break into our hotel room. (I did not have a gun) She speed-ran the US American experience in eight days.