Planning for Tricky Situations at Camp
Since Asher is leaving for his first experience at sleepaway camp in little more than two weeks, we’ve been spending quite a bit of time planning, prepping, and practicing.
Over the past two months, we’ve worked on things like:
being a good conversationalist
being responsible for one’s belongings / staying organized
taking good care of our bodies, from a personal hygiene perspective
independently gathering food and beverages for meals
Working on these things has been a breeze, mostly because Asher is so excited about going to camp, he couldn’t possibly be more motivated. But there’s one more important set of skills I wanted to work on with Asher before sending him off for a week, and that’s how to handle difficult social situations.
Admittedly, I’ve been reluctant to get into this conversation with Asher because I don’t want to cast a negative light on an upcoming adventure he’s so excited about. Yet, I know Asher, and I know one of his biggest challenges is dealing with situations that don’t go the way he predicts. Therefore, coming up with strategies in advance for things that might happen during his week is part of what we need to go through.
This morning, I wrote up a list of the kinds of scenarios that might be challenging for Asher at camp. I came up with 6 possibilities:
Games: unpredictable outcomes, losing, not getting a turn
Other kids being unkind to you, saying rude things, etc.
Not getting a turn on something you wanted to do / try / play
Cabin (or group) decisions not going your way
Not having enough time to finish an activity / project
Having to work in a group / team
After our typical morning homeschool meeting, I whipped out my T chart with these items in the lefthand columns and then we went through them, one by one, and talked about how they might play out at camp. And as we went through each one, I asked Asher what strategy he might use to deal with the situation should it arise. I couldn’t believe the great stuff he came up with. Here’s a look:
In case you can’t read my scribble, here’s what he came up with (I was just the transcriber):
“I’ll probably do better next time” and “I might lose but I’ll be better at it in the end.”
Ignore them, tell an adult, stay calm and advocate for yourself
Tell a counselor, calmly tell them how you feel and ask for a chance, “can we figure out a way to do this another time?”
“Maybe next time it will go my way” and “maybe their way won’t be so bad” (awsomizing versus awfulizing)
“Hey, I can finish it later”
“It’s about the team, not me” and “if the team accomplishes something, I accomplish something”
To be clear, I’m not expecting this exercise is going to mitigate any issues at camp. We’re going to review this chart every day this, and maybe even do some role-playing, but the reality is, being in a new environment with so many different kids all being pushed outside their comfort zone is bound to trigger things for many campers, Asher included.
But, even going through this exercise and discovering that Asher gets it -- he gets that these are difficult situations for him and he knows how to reframe them for a less intense personal experience -- it’s a huge step forward in my book. No doubt he’ll have the opportunity to try out one or more of these strategies and the results will be worth it. (Fingers crossed!)
