Lily Achoo

now, how do I describe myself? that is harder to do than you would imagine. I guess I am just what I appear to be: a former college student with a little too much free time on my hands and too many books with which to fill it.

[la-muerta]

Picked a fight with the gods, I'm the giant slayer

🎵 BGM: "GLADIATOR" by Zayde Wolf

Fight choreography appreciation for our trio!

(iqiyi blocked my fmv on youtube, boo. So I'm just going to reupload it on tumblr.)

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[tim-official]

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

[tim-official]

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

[bobcat-pie]

[hollowedskin]

[malinaa]

what if we all explode

[derring-do]

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

[luckshiptoshore]

i’m going to say something so brave and controversial on this gay sex blog and it is that the episode of New Girl where Nick and Jess get locked behind the iron curtain until they kiss but they WON’T because they are TOO IN LOVE and Nick is like ‘not like this’ and jess doesn’t know what he means and then at the very end of the episode he just GRABS her and KISSES THE SHIT OUT OF HER and then he says ‘I meant something like that’ and just WALKS OFF is one of the greatest romantic episode arcs on tv ever. fucking perfect no notes sometimes straight people do good stuff after all.

[ihni]

Hayden, on the other end of the line during That Scene in episode 6:

(and yes he's picking up things while talking to Shane, he's a father of four - he's multi-tasking!)

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of shane who has a vasovagal response to needles because i know in my heart that he would believe in his ability to beat it

he would believe so hard

HE is the master of this situation, and he can BEAT IT

he is MIND OVER MATTERING

he is FOCUSED

he is DETERMINED

he is PASSING OUT IN THE PARKING LOT

[penandinkprincess]

shane comes to, sees The Face and just immediately slides the towel on his head down to cover his eyes

[palinasin]

[thepoetsarejust]

the ways shane has influenced pop culture in my head:

1. a canadian team bringing home the cup for the first time in like 20 years would have made sooo much noise, shane hollander basically put canada on the map.

2. obviously he is tumblr's boy of the year. along with superwholock.

3. in the wake of his insane b2b run there's something like linsanity happening within asian diaspora communities. shanesanity if you will. asians in hockey numbers rise up by 120% after the second stanley cup. despite this, just like in NBA, there's barely 4 asians that make it to the NHL after him.

4a. i hate to say this but. drake referenced him in his songs. something about. i learned it from shane holly y'all can never check me. back to back for those that didn't get it. and yes of course the cover is shane's stanley cup photo. you know the one.

4b. and yes when eventually in 2025 drake has his big cancellation at the superbowl, some beat reporter asks what shane thinks of drake v kendrick, and shane ofc thought he'd side with the canadian. he had to make a clarification on twitter. 

4c. ilya tweeted like "shane don't have internet sorry about him 🙁"

5. shane's face is all over montreal like shohei ohtani is all over tokyo.

6. shane gets tapped for a tim horton's commercial once and basically ate their donuts like the mcdonald's CEO and was again cancelled on twitter.

7. post outing hockey shot up into stratospheric popularity a la f1. in fact people know hockey as that one sport with the gay asian and russian. shane hates this with a burning passion. it's the fault of that one tweet that was like "so in football terms this is kinda like if messi and ronaldo are fucking" and had 47M views.

[only-cat-memes]

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

[quorpiest]

no mi circo no mis feratus

[reactionimagesdaily]

[wakingfromthewater]

Still thinking about this mobile game ad I got. You will f**k increasingly large creatures.

[attackoftheskydancers]

Screenshots I took to traumatize my husband when I got this ad

[pastimperfection]

It is HILARIOUS that they're censoring fuck. Let's not offend any delicate sensibilities by dropping a complete f-bomb in the middle of explaining the rules of the monster fucking 💦💦💦 game.

[wakingfromthewater]

This is going to enter my vocabulary