pluto is a planet

lucy, 29yo nerd. also i have a job and stuff. my "i laughed" tag is my best intro.

[fasterfood]

[no-obviously]

[chronomally]

This whole fucking time I thought the mall near my apartment was going to be holding a Grinch vs. Santa wrestling match but now I’m pretty sure it was just a creative way to announce they’re going to have both Santa and the Grinch available for your kid to take pictures with

[chronomally]

THEY CALLED IT A WRESTLING MATCH WHY WOULD I NOT TAKE THEM AT THEIR WORD

[chronomally]

WAIT the associated Insta handle says more about wrestling please god let there actually be a wrestling match please

[chronomally]

THERE IS WRESTLING I REPEAT THERE IS IN FACT WRESTLING

[crossroadsbishounen]

I have this picture of sasuke on my phone that chase and I call “safe for work sasuke” and it’s because it’s the tallest picture in my camera roll so whenever he sends me any nsfw stuff when I’m in public I just send sfw sasuke and he takes up the whole screen

[aph-lithuania]

this is the only post we’re allowed to reblog from now on lads

[slowheart]

im trying to be authentic and true to myself but she’s very elusive which is sexy but hard to work with

[kategorema]

angst with a happy ending is my favourite honestly like yes bitch give me emotional conflict but dont completely ruin my soul you know

[caustic-krana]

Everybody start selling our phones with the tumblr app downloaded like they did with flappy bird

[lesbofujo]

Having tumblr on ur phone decreases the value

[screenshotsofdespair]

[seafucker]

there are two things that i need 2 be accomplishing at all times and that is 1) do i look sexy and 2) is my continued existence a threat 2 the system only once i’ve ticked both those off may i proceed

[bunney]

just because i hate me doesnt mean you can

[asoftwrongness]

It’s okay that you’re not who you thought you would be

[beautyandthepriest-deactivated2]

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’

And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’

[analyticalsenshi]

Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time

[nomzoms]

my hand slipped

[a-redharlequin]

TOO DAMN CUTE

[paperfury-deactivated20260224]

Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to glide down ladders in their own private library while their red cloak flutters behind them, owning swords and many chocolates, with fast WiFi at all times.

[powerfulwizard]

i think a lot of you would be a lot happier if you stopped pretending to be characters from murder animes

[qcrip]

When life gives you lemons be like “wow this fic is really old”

[kvitoya-deactivated20210415]

Even if you don’t like Halloween you have to appreciate its position as the sole thing keeping Christmas from advancing even earlier into the year like a cancerous growth

[saleh-nix]

The goth kids hold the line.

[saunteringvaguelydownwards]

[arbitrary-stag]

When your friend says something that leaves themselves wide open for an easy remark, and they immediately know what you’re thinking, so you don’t even have to say anything and you’re just left looking at them like 

[redactedbiboy-deactivated201812]