How to survive the phase of shitty writting? I know i can't skip it in order to grow, but realistically, how to not give up? How to keep going knowing everything i create is worthless for now and i don't even feel i'll ever progress? I’m trying to come back after quite long time of not writing, i was writing fir years before but i hate pretty much all my previous works, but the curent ones i’m trying to write in order to come back are qualy bad, i’m worried it can never get better.
Hey!!! So nice to hear from you again!!! Though I of course I wish it would be in better circumstances I‘m honoured you reached out !!
So there are several ideas here in your message want to tackle!! Mainly into the ground! Cause I want to bury them for you:
So Let me be your shovel :)
First of all: the idea that your writing is worthless.
No art created is ever worthless. Never ever. It’s an expression of a part of your self that wants to be told: even if it’s still (or again) a bit clumsy and unpolished; even if it doesn’t hit the tone and carry the tune you were aiming for. It is worth being told. It’s okay that you didn’t get it right immediately and you have to forgive yourself for it. Letting a part of you bleed – even if it’s ‚just‘ onto a page – is never easy by any means.
Wether or not your previous writing is „bad“ from your present perspective: Acknowledge that at one point or the other you found it important and interesting enough to share! That is genuinely beautiful! It takes courage. Because it isn’t easy letting others in like that even if it’s something you only liked and did in passing.
So while I do encourage criticising your own works, it should be handled with a certain objectivity and most of all compassion for your past self. That means acknowledging that you don’t agree with parts of what/how/why you wrote something but it DOESNT include being needlessly mean to yourself. Aka rather Than “omg why was I so stupid back then” say/think more of it as “that was stupid” aka don’t immediately pinpoint your entire personality and being as that one or the other mistake. Just because something you did was stupid or inauthentic or whatever doesn’t mean you inherently ARE all of these things.
Let yourself be more than your mistakes. But also let yourself be more than your achievements. You can’t erase the past like a sentence but you can make sure your next one is true to your present self.
Lastly and about exactly that:
We change constantly. Everything is an ever changing cycle: there are days where we curse more, yell more, hate others and ourselves more, etc. and there are days where those things seem impossible. So you and your works changing is not a bad thing inherently. And you currently being in a slump doesn’t mean you won’t get out of it.
Things can seem so endless. The whole „things in motion stay in motion“ etc. It takes time to do a rewrite that. Rewire your brain like that. Focus on what you’re enjoying now. The act of writing. The brainstorming. The little scenes playing like movies in your head.
There is the idea of progress that society tells you to count as progress. Forget that. Make your own rules. Progress is constant if you learn from everything. If you learn from your achievements as well as your mistakes.
Do everything within your capacity but acknowledge that “your capacity” is fluctuating. Some days your 100% look like another days 40%. And vice versa. Listen to your body and your needs. Fake every “failure” as a lesson to learn from. Why did the scene not work ? Is there something missing ? Or is there too much of something, disturbing the narrative flow of the story ? Are the things being said and done conveyed with the emotion that I want them to? Why not?
Learn to know when to throw away an idea and when to push further. And with throw away I just mean cross it out from this story but maybe keep the idea for another, more fitting one if you’re truly attached.
You are the author and the actor and the audience all at once. That’s a lot of roles you’re trying to fulfil. And it takes time to translate those roles onto the page.
You might already know how you as the audience want to react and you as the author might already know what you want to tell but you as the actor might NOT YET know how to connect those ideas. These tones and tunes. You have to let yourself find that tone and the tune.
What I mean is: Writing is so much more than just a few words strung together even if it sometimes comes so easily to us: it has many components and getting them exactly right every time is unrealistic. It’s the words chosen, the sentences structured, the scene painted.
Depending on what you need of course you can focus on the basics first:
Like in my answer to your previous ask mentioned: Figure out what parts frustrate you and research them!
Additionally you could tackled these roles from different angles and one at a time.
You’re struggling with finding out what you even want to say ?
Think of all the topics/dynamics/ scraps of thoughts you might want to explore. All the morals you might want to teach. Write the down. Maybe you see a reoccurring theme? Maybe you see how they could be connected.
You’re struggling with finding out HOW to say it?
Not to get too school/university-esque but remember the speaker-receiver diagram from Schulz of Thun: what are they saying? How are they saying it is it received exactly how they want it o or do other things influence their perception of what is being said ? Are their own insecurities or what they (don’t) already know colouring every word, making a misunderstanding inevitable?
You’re struggle with figuring out, how you want to make them feel.
What’s the vibe, the tone and tunes? What feeling should the audience leave with ? Encouraged and inspired ? A deep sense of dread ? “Just” an acknowledgement that sometimes things don’t go the way we plan it and it WILL have been our fault but we can learn from it? A complicated combination between all of that ?
Or in other words: what do you want to make the audience say when leaving ?
“Yes fuck ‘em! I’m doing me!”
Or “I’m sorry. I’ll learn to be better at this.” Or “Thank you. I needed that.”
Of course these sectors overlap immensely and you might struggle at first to differentiate between them all, so take your time. At least one of those questions might be easy to answer already.
If you don’t have an answer (or more likely too many, you don’t know where to start) then find a way to pin one of those down. Either per Coincidence (just to get started) or cause you resonate with it the most.
If your main feeling rn is (e.g.) anger: then write with your anger: even if you don’t use the exact scenario you can still learn what emphasis anger for you in Writing. It might look like someone’s else’s version. It might not.
And again: you can write it all down, every random word/phrase/sentence/conversation snippet and every descriptor without connecting them immediately.
And you don’t have to finish’s anything. The amount of scene snippets I have written down, for which I have entire fics of what happens before and after in my head is insane. But at the time I truly just wanted to write down these specific scenes. And either I was too bored or too overwhelmed to start with the begging.
In the end you mainly write for yourself. So let yourself write what you want to write. You can connect it later. Make it bigger later. Or just never.
I’m sorry it took me a couple days to answer but that was cause I too struggle to find the words. The first half was easier to write and I wrote it immediately the second half ? Only now.
I hope this helps you not to beat yourself up too much! And if you have more questions or whatever you can always ask again or even DM me :)
