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[thepolomonkey]

My fave fic typo is ‘defiantly’ for definitely because it makes it sound like all the characters have a massive attitude problem. As in “He’s defiantly coming to the party”… like wow ok, dude’s coming to start some shit

[pleatedskort]

im jerking tears

bustin a duct

[officialfrenchtoast]

Chinese SWAT officer unable to get time off 24 hr shift to take wedding photos. Studio comes to his station instead. [via]

[themarsultor]

Everybody needs to step they game up I swear this shit goes so hard.

[ameriqan]

i want to be a professor and lecture nonsensically for a few hours every day and give students vague essay prompts and read them all and laugh but still pass everyone while i slip some bourbon into my metal coffee mug that doesn’t actually have coffee in it wearing a button-up and vest with no tie but nice jeans and hella expensive shoes that i bought because i have tenure and im never losing my job

[fistinginferno]

had a dream that i was getting sorted at hogwarts but i got into an argument with the sorting hat so he made up an entirely new house called ‘GrungleBunk’ just so i would be forced to sit by myself in the dining hall for the rest of my life

[bodegaowner-deactivated20190930]

my kink is when people tell me they were thinking about me

[slowheart]

me, as a spy: ok gotta be quiet gotta be sneaky my joints: *crack*

[clockmocker]

When you see your friend in public

[clockmocker]

When your friend sees you in public

[krabby-kronicle]

[officialromaniantranslatiuni]

Virgin Radio Romania with Shurubel Offişăl

[koogelimoogel]

What are they chanting?

[iveseenthetruth]

@minumaja “we left the house because we care”

[bartonbones]

“makeup actually expires!!!” not if it costs more than $5 it doesnt

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

It expires when its empty

[marsixm]

it’s so funny how people get upset that gender is a social construct? EVERYTHING is a social construct??? go ask a frog what day of the fuckin week it is, he doesn’t know

[durtybutch]

*fixes my sleep schedule* *ruins it the very next day* bro

[averagefairy]

i really do want to be productive and make something of my life but i just love… Laying Down… so much. nothing makes me happier

[postingwhileblack]

[joshsundquist]

The day I met my solemate

[juelzsantanabandana]

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