Jerry looked up from his vintage radio to see his multiversal counterpart regard another one of their infinite selfs with narrowed eyes.
"Whattya mean," Jerry C-137 got up and went to stand next to his genetic twin. Jerry 462g's comment had been directed at a fairly standard Jerry wearing a turtleneck.
"You mean the turtleneck. It is a little hot." He assumed the Jerrybore was temperature regulated. Seemed like a kind of thing, Rick would think of, but then again forget just to be an asshole.
"Yeah, but I was talking about the limp."
Turtleneck Jerry's steps were, in fact, uneven. He didn't seem to be favouring a side. Huh, probably something up with his hips. "So," C-137 shrugged. "We're not exactly young, you know. "
"Yeah," 462g agreed but his narrowed eyes didn't look convinced.
Jerry shrugged and went back to his radio.
The Jerrybore is perfect. Even the toilets are exactly how Jerry likes them. Waist high with deep bowls. And tall wall separations. Perfect.
Jerry sighed , and a chorus of identical ones responded. He was absentmindedly watching the thin stream of piss when grunting noises in his voice came from behind.
He turned around to see Turtleneck Jerry struggling with his pants. It's a pathetic situation, made even worse on his own face. He's not exactly sure if he should help or not, so he just kinda ends up standing their creepily staring at his clone, struggling to put on pants.
He has the sudden urge to jump off a cliff.
Finally, Turtleneck ends up falling on the floor ass up and Jerry has had enough.
"Come on, buddy," he hauls himself up.
Out of some inane pull, he bends down to pull up Turtleneck's pants. His mind has already registered that he doesn't need to do that, but the law of conservation of movement has him doing it anyway.
His hands grasp onto the buckle, and that when he sees it. A void gaping hole where tight flesh should be. His mouth dropped open, and his hands went slack.
"Thank you so much," Turtleneck sputters. Finally, he pulled his pants up. "I was having a little trouble moving."
Jerry can only gasp, " Wh-wha-wha. H-h-how." Turtleneck somehow seems to get it despite his total lack of context. He smiles a sunny smile and cheerfully answers, " Oh, my Rick was a little rough last night. Practically broke the bed." He then skips off, leaving his pale shivering genetic twin behind.
Jerry 462g came up behind C-137 and put his hand on his shoulder. C-137's brain was buffering. He could fell the beginning of a cold sweat. "Di- did he just - what is the world - why would he - how can."
"Yeah," 462g interrupted. "It's like I suspected. Another one taken in by the RickDick. It's such a same." He shook his head before leaving Jerry with more questions than answers.
And it is most possibly the most absurd thing Jerry has ever had the displeasure of experiencing in the few short years he's had Rick as a father in law.
The most ridiculous thing since everything went tits up.
He wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants to go home to his wife. The real one.
Not a costume or a robot. He's not exactly sure what Jerrybore Beth is, and honestly, he's not keen on finding out.
God, what is taking them so long!
It's been a week since Rick and Morty left him here. He's 65% sure, they're not dead.
But seriously, he wants to go hooomme.
"Hey, look, there's them now." 462g is jostling his shoulder. Jerry is forced to look up at the cause of his current distress.
An alarmingly large group of Jerrys sat in the corner giggling away. Exchanging tea and snacks like little children playing house. Bits off their conversation float up towards C-137.
"Couldn't look Beth in the eyes "
Each titbit only served to make him feel worse. Like a sucker punch to the gut.
Stimulations, conspiracies, apps and now this. Even with parallel universes this was the most absurd thing he had ever encountered. Wait did he say that already. Good lord his mind was running in circles.
"Hey, let's move closer. I can't hear them"
"Why would you want to listen to that- that
Nonsense! Are you crazy!"
462g just gave him an incredulous look. Yeah, like he was the villain here. "What", Jerry snapped, annoyed with his friend.
462g just shook his head. "This your third time at the Jerrybore and you still don't get it, do you."
Jerry shot himself a scathing look. "I'm not Rick ",he glared.
"Obviously." 462g rolled his eyes. "Infinite realities, infinite universe, infinite possibilities." He nods towards the group. "For some of those Jerrys, its normal or even expected to sleep with your father in law. For some of them Rick isn't even Beth's father. Or related to them. Etc,etc,etc. A infinite number of possibilities. Some met Rick in college or on vacation. Some married him, some are dating him. The list goes on and on and on. Infinitely."
"And the others, the ones without any twists of fate or abnormal societal expectations. What about them?"
462g hissed through his teeth,"Weeeell, those guys are just...... perverts."
Jerry turned a inquiring frown to his friend
462g seemed surprised. "Wait, I never told you." Jerry shook his head no. 462g sighed and turned to fully face C-137. " I am as you said one of those Jerrys with a " twist of fate" in my universe. The Rick in my universe committed the same mistake most other Jerrys have made. He got his girlfriend pregnant on prom night. Now this is Rick when he was seventeen-"
"Let me guess, he didn't stick around."
"-Yes, so now Beth grew up without a father from the very beginning. When she met me, we were 20 and she was a total party girl. I don't know how but she managed to hide a full term pregnancy and drop Summer off at my college dorm room when I wasn't there."
"So you were a single dad."
"For the first 5 years of my daughters life,yeah. Beth came back saying she met her dad who had been off fighting an intergalactic war which in her own words gave her some perspective on the kid she left behind. Night of passion and pain equals one Mortimer Smith. It was one drunken emotional night. We agree to stay friends. Cut to an year later, my kids have an alien killing badass freedom fighter mom whom they occasionally see on weekends. It's a comfortable arrangement.
Mostly it's just me and my kids. My Summers into fashion and my Morty likes baking-"
"OK that sounds very sweet and domestic but cut to the chase."
"Oh,right. So on Morty's eleventh birthday, I hear a spatial disturbance outside our apartment and assume its Beth. And who does she have with her."
462g gave C-137 a look as if the mad scientist's name explained it all. C-137 shot back his own look.
462g slapped himself in the face. As in his own face not C-137. "Dude, Rick had Beth when he was 17, that means when morty was 10, he's 48. "
"Do you have any idea what Rick looked like at 48, do you!"
C-137 opened his mouth to speak but 462g beat him to it. "Fucking HOT! Is what he looked like. A real life wet dream. Let me put it this way C. Imagine every single you have ever wanted to bend you over a flat surface and ravish you and compress them all into one man. That! Is my Rick Sanchez."
462g leaned back with that final exclamation as if whater had possessed him had ran out of juice. Jerry's face scrunched up. "So what, you slept with him."
"Weeelll." 462g ran his forefinger in a circle on the floor. "Not yet", he said sounding disappointed. "Anyway the point is when he was introduced to me, it wasn't as my wife's father buy as a sexy older man who acted more like friends with a girl I had slept with only twice than anything paternal."
C-137 tried to keep a stern facade but after that long winded explanation, he had to relent. "OK, you made your point." He sighed. "What now."
462g tapped his chin and looked back over to the group of Jerrys. They were now,all huddled together listening attentively to whatever a Jerry with deer characteristics was saying. "How about we go over there to see what they're all about."
C-137 looked like he was going to protest for a second before he shrugged." Might as well. At least it'll tell me what not to do.
462g grinned and the two headed over.
When they got there a story was already in full motion.
