Tired Knight @tired-knightposting - Tumblr Blog

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

#in need of this #knightposts #knightposting #am considering becoming a knave however #aren’t I tired #don’t I just wish to go #as people say #shit of the apes

graceless-squire

Announcement horn*

You're listening to

*Sword sharpening SFX*

102.3

*Yelp of surprise*

Real Squire FM

*Parry Sound*

"W-Wha-?!"

Where we play nothing but songs of our Knight's accomplishments.

*The sound of the Squire falling over* "Ow"

This isn't your Knight's Statio- Oh, Ser Knight! How can I-

*The Squire is loudly cut off as Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

millionsknives

gun to your head what are your top 3 albums of all time. no honorable mentions, no ties for third place i want to know your TOP 3 ONLY.

#wasteland baby #she wants revenge #(||) crystal castles

kiss-that-knight

#princess makes me and all my fellow knights wear codpieces #I understand for the knights that have something there to protect #for me #I pretend my chastity is stored there #thus it is worse when the jester once again handles my codpiece #to say that my chastity is in “safe hands’’#knightposts #knight posting #knightposting

cryptotheism

Women will no longer be called the fairer sex. This has been updated to "the sex victorious"

steelsonnet

Seriously I'm getting emotional about pigeons and knighthood.

I went to Krakow last year and the pigeons there are the healthiest and beefiest pigeons I've ever seen in my life. We kept joking about it, and on the last day there we found out the reason.

Krakow has a myth about the pigeons that live in the old town. The story goes that in the 13th century when Prince Henryk IV Probus inherited the throne to Krakow, he was determined to finally unify Poland into one nation, with him as it's King. He was in a good position politically, and he was loved by his men, but he didn't have the finances to make the pilgrimage to Rome to gain the support of the Pope.

Seeing the situation, a witch approached him and offered her help. She asked his men if they truly believed in Prince Henryk. Did they trust their Prince enough to put their own lives on the line, if it meant helping him succeed?

Well his men agreed. So she raised her hand, and in an instant, they were all transformed into pigeons. They flew up to the roof of St Mary's Church, and dropped pebbles from the rooftops that turned to gold as they fell. Thus Prince Henryk could finance his pilgrimage to Rome.

But there was a catch. His men would remain in their feathered form until Prince Henryk returned with the Pope's blessing.

There's a few versions of how this ends. Some stories say that Prince Henryk wasn't as good a king as his men believed, and drank or gambled the gold away before he ever reached Rome. Others say that he did present himself to the Pope, but seeing that he was alone, the holy man refused his blessing. My favourite version is that without his men to protect him, he was attacked and killed on the road. Whatever the reason, Henryk never returned to Krakow, and his men remain enchanted to this day, keeping watch over the city and waiting for their Prince to return to them.

Pigeon knights pigeon knights I fucking love pigeon knights