I was working through my childhood dentist fears over the past few years (recovered a sense where it started bc I don't numb well and he insisted it didnt hurt) including a root canal, implant, implant removal with bone graft, and two extractions. I put one earbud in and turn up the music louder when things get worse, then quieter as they ease, awake and aware the entire time now. So I had some hubris going in to get my previously-infected wisdom teeth removed after the second time they caused such severe pain.
Top was fine, barely more difficult than the other extractions I've had.
The bottom one couldn't get numb.
He tried so much that my vocal cords were paralyzed for a while, leaving me whispering, and my throat was so numb I couldn't swallow and had to tell myself I wasn't choking because I was breathing fine.
The pain in my jaw was excruciating to where I was physically sobbing and involuntarily screamed twice when he tried to pry it out. I just about maxed out on shots, but the pain in my jawbone was so severe and untouched that he had to cut the tooth and try to numb the pulp, but it Wouldn't Numb fully. I think that was deeply traumatic in a similar way as my childhood experience, but at 28 I had the benefit of agency and could choose my dentist and if I would go or try to bear it.
Eventually it gave way, and I was done, given gauze and a prescription for mild drugs and antibiotics and mouth wash. But it took one week for the intense nerve pain to set in when I rinsed it, two more weeks for it to ease, and five weeks after the procedure the hole is still there on the bottom. I followed the rules- no straws for a week, soft foods, rinse, ice, elevate when sleeping. I went back in to have them check if it was drysocket. I didn't get an answer bc it was hard to tell. I read that dry socket can be caused by traumatic extractions. The top is healed but for a bone chip on the side poking my cheek, the bottom likely has another month or two to go before it's closed.
I went to another dentist three weeks ago after chipping a tooth. I cried, which is normal, but this time I couldn't stop shaking. I went back today for my permanent crown. I cried less and white knuckled through the pain of numbing gel touching an un-capped tooth before the injections. My pain tolerance grows.
My new dentist is incredibly kind and warm. The office has appointments on both fridays and Saturdays. I'll keep trying and going for appointments to maintain and repair the damage done by my father's genetics, which makes especially cruel how that dentist treated me as a shy child who didn't know you could argue with adults in authority. My new dentist uses so much numbing there's no feeling into my ear and temple, and it stays in effect for 5+ hours after the appointment.
I'm making the choice for myself again to try again to wash out the bad experiences with the safe experiences. I'm trying and being Very Brave.
