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[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

OK. Massage Relaxes. But It Does MORE?

I'm hooked on learning more about massage therapy now. I figured out that the information about its efficacy is suppressed because it would cut into the number of prescriptions and surgeries performed. No doubt about it. So how shocked was I to find that pediatric massage is also a thing, and it's actually also well-researched! There are answers!

I could not believe that children actually get massages. But, it's true. Kids get stressed. Kids do sports. Plus, apparently, some kids need it because they are in hospice during cancer treatment. It's a real eye opener. I can't imagine how much it's changed my perspective to find out that such a non-invasive therapy can actually do so much.

My suggestion is to do the research and look for yourself for massage for kids  studies and articles. You'll find that there aren't too many people out there actually advocating for this. One is Tina Allen, a massage therapist who pioneered pediatric massage in the United States.

There's a meta-study about massage  that concludes that it all looks promising, but that more research is necessary. It's funny how a new drug gets approved, then taken off the shelves five years later, put back on, and millions suffer or lose their lives, and here there's this treatment that is simple and risk-free, and it's always, "We need more data!"

And looking on the wikipedia entry on Pediatric Massage I find the same thing: "Like many other complementary and alternative medicine modalities, many research studies reporting benefit from pediatric massage have been small in scale and vulnerable to bias. Comprehensive medical reviews of the existing pediatric massage research reinforce the benefits, but ask for larger-scale, scientifically rigorous studies.[38] Physicians are recommended to educate themselves and their patients about the empirically validated benefits and precautions associated with pediatric massage"

So, in other words, these studies mean little, and just go back to your physician and get those pills and surgeries!

My cousin's daughter is a stressed-out kid. She's 12, but she thinks like a 35-year-old. She is so nervous her hair falls out. Literally. I called my cousin and asked her about getting massages for Evelyn, and my cousin thought it might be helpful. That doesn't mean they're going to do a thing, but at least I did my part and told them about it.

Evelyn is a smart girl, but she doesn't have a balanced life. She studies too much, and doesn't do sports or any extra-curricular activities. Her brother is the exact opposite and he does like five sports and is on a bunch of clubs, but his grades are Cs. Where is balance to be found?

* * * * *

My cousin just called me back and said her three kids are all getting massages next week! So I had an impact! Yes!! I still can't believe the world we're living in. I wish my parents had known about this. I could have used a massage as a tween or teen. I really had a stressed-out time, being a lesbian and knowing I was since I was ten.

My cousin is loaded. She isn't struggling, and so I am happy that she shares her wealth with her kids. I know so many parents who DON'T think of the kids. Ever.

I was also reading that these kids end up with all kinds of help for serious conditions. Here's a YouTube video with Tina Allen. It's about children in hospitals and how it's been shown that massage therapy is helping these kids. Tina Allen sounds like a kid herself! She is well-spoken and knowledgeable. She is a living legend who helped so many kids around the world to bring another option of a modality, pediatric therapeutic massage, that can help them in life.

Massage for children with special health care needs is a thing. Kids massage ranges from the sessions my cousin is booking to sessions in hospital for terminally ill children. Pediatric Massage is all about promoting the health and well being of children, of all health levels. Healthy well children and infants can benefit. But so can kids with special health care needs. The American Massage Conference Massage Therapist of the Year for 2011 was Tina Allen. There really is no one living that is doing what she is.

I like trailblazers like Tina. People who are real, people with a goal, a goal of helping others. Massage for children was at one time just an idea, and now it's offered at many hospitals. Your pediatrician may even recommend pediatric massage nowadays! It's come a long way. I just wonder if everyone in the world but my sister will end up getting a massage. (If you don't understand that reference, read a few of my blogs!)

A pediatric massage therapist is a special kind of person. Of this, I am sure. I've thought a lot about this in the last 24 hours. I also realize that geriatric massage, something that I've known exists my entire life (a great-aunt used to get sessions right in her bed), also requires a special kind of person.   Firstly, there is the issue when working with older populations of your client dying. I mean, it's inevitable. So there's that. But for kids, it's different. My cousin can't get her kids to do ANYthing. That a pediatric massage therapist could get a young patient to stay still for an hour is in itself a miracle.

I think the same about elementary school teachers. The fact that they don't have a meltdown, jump in their Jetta, and leave school after lunch is another miracle. As you can tell, I'm not a motherly type, and I am not really thinking about that changing any time soon. I hate family gatherings because my cousin's kids crawl all over me. I'm not your momma! One of them even pulled my boob! WTH?! Doesn't anyone teach children freaking MANNERS, anymore?

A children's massage therapist dealing with very ill kids has got to have it worse, even, than a geriatric therapist. I guess it's like any other health care practitioner, and you just get a thick skin over time dealing with it all. I can't seem to understand a lot of how people get through these grueling jobs. All I can say is, thank God there are other kinds of people besides me. Because if it were just me, we'd all just be watching Netflix, writing a blog no one reads, and yes, spending a lot of time by myself, keeping myself...happy.

[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

Good Old Little Sis

So could I possibly get her to agree to try out therapeutic massage? We haven't gotten that far yet.

[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

Postpartum Blues Destroyed with Massage?

Postpartum massage is really not anything new. It's actually a tradition in many cultures worldwide. But you'd think that would motivate my sister to want to experience this? Not at all. My idea of gifting her with a session of postnatal massage, or even a package of multiple sessions, has fizzled out. I can't take her whining any more. I tried to ask her in a way that wouldn't infuriate her, but she took it as me insulting her that she isn't the perfect pregnant woman, because she has issues. Now, I mean, who thinks like this? She does, apparently.

In any case, I got her to seriously think about prenatal yoga and even got her to explore web sites about pregnancy  with me. But in the end, she is not the daring visionary she believes she is. She's just an average woman who really isn't about learning anything new. She just wants her routine and part of her routine is to brag to others about how cool she is.

But I did come across a few websites that showed that postpartum depression can be abated with postnatal massage sessions.  I think I'm making headway with my sister. This isn't halfway as hard as it was getting her to shower every day back in middle school. She was so gross, she stunk like a skunk, her hair was matted, but in her mind she looked good. I had to keep asking her when she was going to shower. I ended up getting her to go in the pool with me instead.

Another time she decided she wasn't going to wear shoes anymore. That worked until she stepped on a metal rake in the backyard, ended up in the emergency room on a Saturday night with cellulitis because she ignored her wound and kept on doing her thing.

Oh, and she also stopped wearing bras and panties. I totally didn't get this one, and she never explained. We only found out because she put all her undergarments in a clear plastic bag outside her bedroom door in high school and wrote "donation" on the bag. She is just very impulsive and gets into these ideas, and tests them out. Usually she stops. The bra thing, I think she hasn't worn a bra unless it's a wedding or formal dinner, in years.

I respect her free spirit. I know that she is very free, in a sense. In her narcissistic haze, she can do anything, because she's smarter, better, cooler. She's more important. That's the bottom line. But the end result is: she's free.

I think for now, the possibility that she might want to try a prenatal massage session is pretty high. She responded well to watching the video of a woman receiving a postnatal session. Not quite the same, but similar enough.

I didn't mention my sister was a special needs kid. She has dyslexia really badly, and she has ADD and ADHD as well. She is probably also autistic. My Mom and Dad knew this, but didn't pursue it medically to get a diagnosis. In the end, she's mean as a blister, and in her own world, oblivious to others. She used to stim herself all day, and didn't care who was in the room. My parents really had trouble getting her to stop that activity. In the end, they just told her to go in her room if she wanted to do that, and after that day, we didn't see her much anymore.

She didn't do well in school, but she is an amazing artist. She can paint a portrait in watercolors that really can inspire.

I'm not trying to be heartless. I know she's disabled, but she's also a major a-hole. There's just no way of getting around that. She has these deep blue eyes, and her soft blonde hair doesn't help. She looks sooo innocent, but she's not. She just wants her way. She'll lie, cheat, and steal to get it.

So here's my plan: Get her so interested in this whole perinatal massage thing that she is the one pestering ME to get her a session. I've always been a good big sister and I definitely want things to turn out that way. It's just that, so far, it hasn't. Why? I can't just talk with her like you usually speak with people. She doesn't ever want to think she's following anyone. Least of all me. She has "little sister syndrome" and she seems to loathe the idea of doing anything I like. )Usually, she puts down something I'm into, gets me to stop, takes it up, then acts like she's the master) Weird.

New Mommies need help. I mean, even if my sister were totally capable on her own, I'd want to help out to get her the services and information that she needs.

So is postpartum massage really capable of chasing the blues? I really wonder. I mean, there's this study  seems to state that postpartum massage is helpful to new moms. It's just that, I guess for me and many others, the idea of a massage is pampering. That it could also be good for you, well that's just not something I can easily accept. We think of decadence as nice, but what about when the chocolate cake laden with calories is really good for you? What if it's high-protein, low-carb? With organic cocoa-powder-based frosting? Do some people like eating junk because it's bad? Cigarette smokers who smoke because it's bad and risky? I am sure.

This is the text, taken directly from the study I cited:

"Pregnant women diagnosed with major depression were given 12 weeks of twice per week massage therapy by their significant other or only standard treatment as a control group. The massage therapy group women versus the control group women not only had reduced depression by the end of the therapy period, but they also had reduced depression and cortisol levels during the postpartum period. Their newborns were also less likely to be born prematurely and low birthweight, and they had lower cortisol levels and performed better on the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment habituation, orientation and motor scales. "

Is this for real? I mean, if this is proven fact, why don't more women get massages before and after giving birth? And, why don't insurance companies pay for massage, if it's so helpful? I feel wronged. I really do. I was getting my sister these massage sessions because I wanted her to relax. Turns out, the massage is actually therapy. Now, not gonna lie, I have zero clue what the Brazelton Neonatal Behavioral Assessment habituation, orientation and motor scales are, but the rest sounds good enough. And, scales mean measurable change, right? I'm not dumb.

I think that my sister has to get real and stop being the baby. I keep thinking of her as a new mom and I get scared. I told this to a friend and she told me I was jealous. But I never wanted to have kids! I really mean that! I am really kind of butch, and the idea of taking care of a baby  (of my own) really isn’t the least bit appealing to me. Now, helping others, that's cool. As long as it's not me!

[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

Spanx Shapewear Rocks

I know that shapewear is a big deal these days. Kim Kardashian has her own brand called Skims. (I'm not big on following stars, but just thought I'd add that fact!) The truth is, shapewear is  an interesting product.

I did study fashion for two years. Actually. I don't tell many people this. I have a degree from F.I.T. in NYC. Anyway, shapewear is actually the invention of a woman named Mariom M Chubby, of all things. (Is reality ever NOT cooler than a movie-think of Mr. Crapper who invented the toilet bowl! ?!) Anyway, shapewear was invented in 1965. It's described as an elastic corset.

More and more women (like me) wear shapewear because we're interested in looking our best. That's why these foundation garments are available in smaller sizes. Shapewear really can sculpt the body's appearance. And, shapewear brands and product lines specifically target different areas, like thighs, tummy, or butt.

I've checked out a few different brands. The ones from China are not worth it. (I mean the no-name ones you find on eBay for a dollar; they're ALL from China! lol) Spanx are the top brand for a reason. They are made well, and are not thin like Chinese no-name products. (You can see in the photos, they are crap!)

So, I'd say go with Spanx. Now, I find it really interesting. Spanks, or spankies, were the undershorts you wear under a dance costume at a recital. (Trust me, I'd know, I've been in dozens!~)

So they basically took the name of a category and made it their own. Their marketing is incredible. I really like the brand and it holds up, doesn't get runs, and works.

Also, thinking about it, Whole Foods Market did the same. They took the name of a category of food stores and BECAME that brand. It seems ludicrous. Now no one says they shop at a whole foods market anymore, unless they mean Whole Foods. In the '90s, that wasn't the case. That was just the generic term for a health food store.

Hmm...I know there was another one. What was it? (I'll think of it!) Anyway, about shapewear: It's great. I like leggings, but I end up with a "muffin top." My legs and thighs look great, but where the leggings stop, a bit of blubber begins. I really don't mind my own weight or size. I am 100% fine with myself; I'm not even that big. I wear a size large Spanx, and my preference is for the ones with the open crotch. I usually get the light beige color. I have bought four and the first one is still in perfect shape, and that's after wearing it for four years. (The only LITERAL wear is the edge of the inner tag is fraying.)

I don't think it's unhealthy. I do feel like my blood is pushed into my head, arms and legs. I guess this is alright? In any case, I like how I look and it makes me feel good not to look like a mess.

[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

Walmart Employee REALLY Quits

This person had HAD it! Obvs

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OK, Kids, Time For Seriousness

Prenatal Massage is one of those things I really don't know about. I wanted to get my sister a package, but for one, it's on the expensive side, and two, I don't know if it's safe. I've read so many different things about whether it's safe or not. What is the actual truth?  I know that there are massage therapists who specialize in this field. And, beyond that, it's all a big question mark.

My first concern is whether it's contraindicated or not. So I Googled it. According to Web MD ,it's contraindicated in the first trimester. They also say there's no known proven benefits. That seems strange. I always thought the benefits were numerous.

Hmm....

Even the Mayo Clinic  doesn't affirm that massage can do very much What the HELL? I am confused. Massage doesn't help with sports injuries? Am I supposed to respect that statement? That's laughable.

Still, what should my darling little sister do? I want to get her a massage package that gives her an hour, once a week. I feel like she thinks of massage as like voodoo. It's some weird mysterious thing, so maybe this isn't going to work out, after all. Maybe instead we could get her a weekly session with a yoga instructor? That might have more benefits and actually teach her about life.

OK, I called and it seems like I could get a trainer for my sister, and that might be a better fit for now. I found a yoga teacher, and her rates are reasonable. My sister might go for that. I know she also thinks yoga is "weird" and stuff, but I know she'll get into it. She's already flexible, and showing off to a teacher is definitely something she would like to do.

Maybe after she's birthed the baby, postnatal massage might be a good way for her to get herself straight? I read about how in India, the postnatal Mom was pampered, and treated to forty days of massage therapy. Wow. That's a culture that respects women. We have a lot to learn.

I just called my sister and asked her if she really wants to try the yoga thing. She immediately started telling about how she just wants to be left alone and that I should stop bothering her all the time. (I hadn't called her in two weeks.)

She is an actual bitch. I can't stand her, and her bitching and moaning, yet never taking the initiative to ever change anything, is sickening. Then, she's all smug and acts superior to me. "I'm so sensitive, not like YOU," she tells me. It's all a contest. (BTW, I'd die living her life!) I really think one day I'm going to lose my cool and call her and her husband out on their Barbie and Ken arrangement that is purely show and (don't) tell! I'm sick of their insincerity.

My sister deserves me to stop calling her. Yet, she knows I never will. If I try, my Mom calls me and asks why I'm ignoring my sister. (Yet she ignores me 1/2 the year with various silent treatments) I think she and I might have benefited from having more time together NOT competing. (She is such a MAN.) I hope she understands that I do NOT want this.

I really get sad thinking about how my sister has grown to hate me over the years, but I'm fine with it by now. I am OK with myself; she is a big fraud. I have fun and enjoy life; she pretends life is grand.

So, why is it every time I try to do good for her, it's something else? I wanted to get her the massage, but then thought against it. I thought the trainer would be great, but she shot me down. So, then are we back to the massage therapy sessions for her? I can afford it, so it's not that at all. I just feel so...dirty. I love my sister and she makes me feel like crap. In any case, she's my little sister, she's not very smart, and I love her. So I will tolerate her crap. For now.

But if her husband even says so much as a word, I am afraid I am going to just let them have it with the truth. Everything from my sister and the gayest girl at school grinding, to her husband's many friends, I will tell them to their faces that they are just fake people, and treat other people like it's the other people in their lives that are the fakes. Why does it always come back to this? Because they are just two selfish people who hurt others, treat other people like THINGS to manipulate. They are both narcissists, as in  true NPD "sufferers."

So, should my sister get the massages or the yoga training? I was also thinking of self defense. That just complicates things immensely. Right now, my sister is an atypical pregnant woman. She doesn't really act any different, and hasn't slowed down. (She won't.) I just hope and pray they're not into drugs. Who knows, with all the obfuscation tactics those two regularly employ? Maybe they do take drugs. I have no reason to believe so, other than that she is just super-hyper all the time, but then she's always been.

Looking at it from the holistic viewpoint, the perinatal massage therapy might be a good idea. My sister needs balance. A slow, relaxing massage would be best. Maybe, dear reader, you wonder why I insist on buying my sister ANYthing, especially since she had been so lousy to me. It's because my parents were sort of neglectful. Not abusive, but they really just didn't want us getting in their hair.

I read many accounts of forums and feedback on therapists' websites, and it looks like massage therapy is a really good way to deal with stress. But not just stress, also a whole lot more. Hence my confusion when they say that it doesn't really help with much. That's just not true.

Firstly, know that I practice yoga and I'm into "alternative" stuff. That really means pre-allopathic medicine. I have actual

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Still Haven't Gotten That Massage

OK. Why? I am trying to find time. I can't just get a massage by myself. It has to be lesbian couples massage or else my girlfriend will flip. Or she'll skulk and just be very grey and sad and dark. So trying to find a day our schedules coincide is madness. The end result is that we end up just not going for massages. We're a cute lesbian couple, I will say that. But still...I need a massage because of stress. It's not about romance for me. I've been getting massages since university. My Mom suggested it and then I did it. My first massage was only thirty minutes. Some lady not even wearing medical scrubs or any uniform. I've often wondered if it was legit because they had to buzz you in.

It was just thirty minutes on my shoulders and neck. I need that now. The stress level my sister is bringing me is so high. She is a phoney, and that is the last word I will say on the matter. Oh, and, she told me the Theragun was in Bill's room. Bill's room? What are we kids? I now understand why they had two guest rooms, and one looked just..lived in? It just didn't have the vibe of an empty room. And, it smelled like a man. (Yuck!) That must've been Bill's room.

I really can't stand these people. You have articles like these  about how cool it is to be LGBT+, but my sister is still stuck in her Catholic shame. Her husband is a born-again and I think she converted. What hypocrites. You know, I hate judging. But really, I mean it's 2021. They live like it's 1950 and queers went to mental hospitals or jail for sodomy. I mean c'mon. This girl is ludicrous. And her hubby is a sad fraud.

I sent my sister this link  and told her to look it over. She just said thanks and never mentioned it again. I know my sister is a lesbian. I wish she would just come out of the closet and be authentic. Like, there is definitely something to be said for being yourself. Whether you're straight or gay, just be your own person and live for YOUR dreams! Trying to live for someone else is inevitably going to lead to disaster and end in ruin.

So here I am again talking about these people, and I actually set out to think about my upcoming massage. (IF it will ever happen.) My girlfriend is a bit over-emotional. She's such a candyass, I can't see her with a guy. She has these blue eyes that are just 100% honest. I want a couples massage. I think I'm just going to go to one of those lousy chain day spas, sneak on over one morning when my GF is out. It's not like cheating cheating, it's just a white lie. What else could I do?

I mean, my option is to try Epsom Salt baths, take calcium-magnesium supplements, put on ointment, oh wait, I already do all that. What else can I do? I want to get a session  AND sneak and have a session on my own. I mean, my girlfriend lies to me sometimes. Like about having eaten ice cream at 3 AM. She leaves the scoop in the sink, covered in chocolate ice cream, then tells me with a straight face she didn't do it. She's kind of child-like. I like that, but it's also a limiting factor in this relationship.

A Couples Massage would be nice, but there are only so many ways I can make this happen. Maybe I can ask if she can play hookey from work? Then, we would have all day and can book a two hour massage. One hour is usually nothing. It's over before I really start relaxing. I think 90 minutes to two hours is best.

My girlfriend is also very jealous. If a woman is touching me, even in a nonsexual manner, she will get upset. She's overweight and very insecure. She is also very self-conscious about her body's scent. I don't wear deodorant or anti-antiperspirant and I don't shave my underarms. She has like a three stage ritual for making her armpits smell "nice." I don't mind body odor. I remember growing up my Mom called it B.O. In fifth grade, I had been in my room...doing...something...ummm...fun...and I got all sweaty. I came down and my Mom was like, "P.U. It stinks in here!" I had just sweated as I enjoyed a nice June afternoon up there with no AC, just me, myself and, I if you know what I mean. ;)

My Mom also tried to get me into douches and feminine sprays. I mean, they're not even good, and most gynecologists will tell you that! My Mom was always like, "I can smell your bum!" and tried to make me feel weird, but I always cleaned myself super-thoroughly, and so it was actually my vagina. I know I smell strongly, but my Mom should have had more sensitivity. What can you do? Some people just don't understand. She thinks she's doing something good, telling me, like if I were walking around with a hundred dollar bill about to fall out of my pocket. But I disagree. Her philosophy and mine do NOT intersect. She's a staunch Republican, loved Trump, the whole nine.

You know, I think this is the least on-topic blog yet! :)

[topsyturvyworldtwistedtwice]

My Sister Is A Hot Mess

What do I do with this kid? She is about as mature now as she was when we were in elementary school. Now she has to face pregnancy, and her way of always running from  life and taking the easy route isn't going to work. I told her she had better not drink. She made one too many jokes about imbibing. I can't stand her. She's frikkin trolling me, trying to get a reaction. But on the other hand, if she wants a drink, she'll have one. She is an intolerable person.

Bill is only with her because for whatever reasons, he has to appear straight. I don't know what it is. He comes from a conservative background, so maybe that's like his only way to please everyone. Live a complete lie. A fabrication. Anyway, they're having a baby. That brings me to whether it's even his! My sister cheats. I know that for a fact. One night I stopped by her house without calling and she was there with some dude. Bill was "out" and I just reeled when the guy put his arms around my sister's waist. She didn't even care that I saw. I think his name is Derek.

I am not a gossip, and I really don't care. It's not my business. They live a complex lifestyle, and I guess this is how things go for them. I guess they seem happy.

I sometimes wonder if my sister knows he's gay. And there was one event that I DID forget, writing all this down just brings it right back to my memory. My sister became friends with this girl we all knew was a lesbian. My exgf had even hooked up with her. Her name was CaroleAnne. She and my sister were very close. One day I came into the basement den and saw CaroleAnne on top of my sister. They were watching a movie. Was it innocent? Another time, I was (trying to) get to sleep, and I could hear moans through the vent. Did my sister have a guy over, or was it CaroleAnn?

Here's a clue: There was a wrapper from an Always maxi-pad in the bathroom, next to the toilet. My sister and I use tampons. So was CarolAnne over and later sis snuck in a guy? Or was it CarolAnne moaning?

I will never know. But I suspect my sister is closeted just like Bill. I guess they're a perfect match. It's not his kid. Or is it? I think he'd probably go the turkey baster route. I also heard him talking about how gross it was to deal with living with a woman. Sounds gay to me. :|

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Helping Out Sis

My sister is a freaking mess. I don't know what to do with her. She is on the phone right now crying to me about how Bill is threatening to quit his job if he has to get vaccinated. Is this for real? The drama. Makes me want to stay single. Even girls can get territorial.

Sis has an issue. She also is dealing with pre-eclampsia, or high blood pressure during pregnancy. She needs to take a chill pill, though of course not literally, as being pregnant means not getting high or drunk.

I suggested a prenatal massage at my house by a trained prenatal LMT. I know that there are tons of studies on how it actually affects a pregnant person, and it's more than just hype. Of course, selecting a therapist is key, as 99% of them really aren’t' suited to pregnancy massages. And, of course, there's training, and experience.

We have a giant deck with a cool gray marble patio and it just sits there and remains  unused. (We're vampires) At least for an hour, let it get used. Have a massage, sis!

She is thinking about it right now, but since she already has me on the phone, now it's this inane drama about her husband. Always trying to be a primadonna, in the spotlight. Figures.

Her pregnancy is going well. It's the first trimester and she's only gained a few pounds. I can tell, though. There is something different about her vibe. Plus, her face looks rounder already. Hormones, I guess?

I also gave her a subscription to Pregnancy Magazine  because it's really what she needs. She likes magazines. She's never been a literary type like myself, she did always read Teen Vogue as kids and before that some other magazine about Hollywood. We also bought her a doula  that we found on DONA. DONA is a very well respected agency.   Doulas of North America can find you a doula local to you. So now, I have a LMT that does pregnancy and postnatal massage for twenty years. A doula who’s been delivering babies for thirty, and a magazine that answers all her questions about having a baby.

I believe in holistic lifestyles. That's even more important to me than the LGBT lifestyle. I mean, if I were alone on an island, I'd still live holistically, but I don't think there'd be much to think about,  in terms of LGBT lifestyle. Without others, it's just not an issue.

My sister and I never saw eye to eye. She was a virgin until 11; I was a virgin until 19. She got VD at sixteen; I got Valedictorian and graduated early. She made messes and never cleaned up. I cleaned up and never complained. Now that's she's an adult, she's a mess. Without me holding her hand, she doesn't know WHAT to do about navigating her way through life. I feel bad.

Pregnancy massage is the least invasive, and probably most helpful step she can take. The doula is more about making it a wymyn's thing. Most ob/gyns are men, and even if women, at hospitals, it's all about the patriarchy. So, my sister was talked into having the baby at a birthing center. With a midwife. We haven't gotten as far as finding one yet. Maybe the doula can assist?? I read a lot about prenatal massage before buying her a package of ten sessions. I learned a lot. (It seems with this pregnancy thing, I'm a novice!) There's really a lot to know, and to want to go in unprepared, much as my sister does, just means that you're going to pay later. Ignorance is hardly bliss. Right?

I checked and as long as my sister's doctor says it's OK, we're good to go. I think the best option would be for her to decide how to pace the sessions. But knowing my sister, it might be better to just mete them out to her, over time. She tends to get a little compulsive. No. A lot compulsive.

There are various types of massage that can be used during a pregnancy massage. I'm insisting on the therapist knowing myofascial technique and Swedish. My sister has to be babied. If she wasn't, she would be a total disaster. Don't think I enjoy any of this. I would actually benefit from taking care of my own self, one of these days, you know?

** Pregnant people should think about living a holistic lifestyle. It's the best thing that they can do. You really have no choice. Nature compels.** So, I had to drive over and set my sister straight. I told her to face life like an adult.

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How Would You Feel

How would you feel if life stopped again, like a shutdown 2.0?

How would you feel if there were no more winters?

Would you even care?

I think we as a people are past caring & trifling

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My Days At FIT

Believe it or not, I went to FIT and even have a degree in Fine Arts. I almost got thrown out for that one. My parents want me to go to law school, or become a surgeon. I kid you not. It was really that specific. Or, I forgot, a speech therapist. Oh, podiatrist was up there, too. :|

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My Blog Sucks. But Why?

I know I won't get followers. It's just how my life is. I know there are influencers out there with millions of views, but that's never going to be me. Why? I’m just not interesting enough. Plain Jane. Janee.

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Conservative and Progressive Limits of Free Speech

Both sides want limits. Conservatives based on what's "degenerate" and "immoral," progressives based on ideology they see as driving an immoral and degenerate world where a few dominate the many.

I want no limits. I can handle it all!

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MAX SHAME

Yeah; doing it with my second-cousin was my most shameless moment. I mean, I know second-cousins can marry in most states. Who cares.

I was more concerned afterward about AIDS, as Blake DID get around and didn't believe in condoms. Oh, and, waiting to get my period was the worst stress of my life. I didn't sleep for two days. I think that messed up my cycle, and I just kept waiting. Finally, I was relieved to know I wasn't about to be the mother of a mutant! I went out drinking with my bestie, we had two six packs and drank at the park, and then at her house and we were passed out drunk in her attic.

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Thinking about having a baby. Not.

My sister is pregnant right now. That means that she can demand whatever she wants. Trust me, it didn't take having a bun in the oven to get her to behave this way. "I was born like this!" she'll tell you as she acts selfishly, shocking everyone around. She's the last person I thought would want a baby. She said it was an accident, and her husband, Bill, wouldn't let her get an abortion. He threatened divorce, and they have a prenuptial agreement. Soooo, my darling sister acquiesced, and decided to just stick through the nine months. But now she's really beginning to get uncomfortable. So what did I do? I bought her a set of pregnancy videos in 4K on Blu-Ray. I also thought it would be in her best interest to really do some investigating and learn what's involved. She just wants to be knocked out. C-Section. But then, during her first trimester, she began having difficulties. Lower back aches. So, she turned to yoga. I gave her a few good links. Mom-Edu  is a good resource, and it's on a web site I've actually explored before, but for my own interest in womens massage at home because I needed some relaxation. I even think I blogged about it in the past? I'm so scattered lately! There is one article in particular that caught my eye. It was about what's normal during pregnancy, and was found on the same pregnancy  information website that is a great resource. Lots of info. Anyway, this one article is for my sister. She is a hypochondriac, and has this fear of a ruptured placenta. Now I know that there's actually a product that a woman can use that can make this a science, rather than guesswork. It's these sanitary napkins that can sense if the amniotic fluid is escaping. They change color. But that's not all. There's a lot more info on there, and I learned quite a bit. My sister should be in therapy. I can't imagine her as a mother. I really feel bad for some little boy or girl who gets stuck with her. She is a grade-A narcissist, and I can't imagine that she will end up being a good mother. (Watch  how she treats the dog!) She isn't breastfeeding because she doesn't want to make her breasts "misshapen" as she calls it. I mean, that's Mother Nature, so how is it an issue? She is just that selfish. I think that her whole life was an accident. Meeting Bill. Getting pregnant. Getting her job. Winning the Lottery. (It was only $12,000 dollars, and she ran through it in a year!~) I don't hate HER. I know I may sound a little bit strong about this, but it's really her. That was her great gift; projection got her off the hook so many times. And her husband: He's inept. I think he's secretly gay. (I DO mean this; I am a lesbian so it's no put-down, but being in the closet and marrying my sister was sly!) OK; why do I think this? I see him eyeing our cousins. Blake is openly gay. And I respect him for it. If he wasn’t my cousin and I wasn't a dyke, I'd want to jump on him! I admit when we were tweens I used to daydream about him, but back then I was sexually confused. Not to mention, just a kid learning about boundaries! But Blake's...package is...unmistakable. It's hard to miss! I swear I saw Bill drool staring at it. I mean, drool. I was disgusted. Plus, I am gay. My gay-dar says he's a fruit. Now, I know my sister thinks he's a man's man (She doesn't even know!) and thinks he adores her, but I can say, he's more interested in men. And, a few times he let it slip when around Blake and assumed the most gay lisp I've ever heard. Like a heteronormative male making fun of a gay man! But it was just so creepy! Bill even gave  Blake a back rub. My other cousins think it was the five glasses of Chianti Bill drank over the course of an hour. And when he greeted Blake's brother Bobby, Bill literally went to kiss him on the lips. Bobby pulled away. He's also gay (bi actually) but he definitely doesn't swing that way, in terms of interest in his girl cousin's husband. I mean....seriously... So, back to that article. My sister has been disgusted being a girl since we were kids. She hated menstruation (who doesn’t?) but to her it was just crippling. I think she wanted to be born a boy. She used to say she wanted a boy's name. I mean, her name is already Shane. That IS a boy's name! So now, during pregnancy, she's...leaking. It's normal. (I wasn't so sure) I read in the aforementioned article that during pregnancy, it's normal to have discharge. I told my sister not to worry about it, but then I googled vaginal discharge during pregnancy and I found that it's perfectly fine. You see, my sister is a crab apple. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She hates sex, because she hates her female body. She hates menstruation, because it reminds her she's a girl. What a weird couple. She's an in-the-closet trans-man, and he's an in-the-closet gay man. Who knew. Oh, and another Bill story: Bill comes late to our parent's 35th Anniversary dinner. He brings my sister roses (not appropriate at an extended family dinner) then hastily sits down. He smelled of sweat and man-musk and what's weirder is that he also had mud on his shoes. (Like he went to the "Fairy Tale" woods, the local gay cruising spot) But one other thing: the mud was red, and the gay woods has red mud. AND...he had an oleander flower stuck in his hair, and the only known patch of that is right where the men meet, all sweaty, to do their thing. I know about this because Blake and his brother took me there. (Guess cause I was gay, too?) We watched Blake's kid brother walk off with a (much) older man, into some bushes, then there was moaning. I was only 19, and I was scared crap! I was shaking. I thought he was going to get murdered! After fifteen minutes, my cousin returned, looking very sweaty and tired. I quickly learned what position he played by where he kept placing his hands and saying OUCH!

(Lesbian girls don't have a place like this. I'm thinking we should have a website for this, and a place to get some D, I mean, once in a while we all need it for biological reasons.) I think Blake thought I would get a kick out of visiting, but it only cemented early-on in my mind that men are just like pigs. Gay, straight, whatever. And, THAT'S why I'd rather deal with a bitch than an idiotic man any day.

But back to my sister. She is already looking for a nanny. She wants a wet nurse, too. Umm...her husband drives a city bus. Is that a limiting factor? BTW, I'm not trying to out my brother-in-law. The chance that someone I know will read this is like infinitely small. And, even if they do, they might just agree. Or,have other stories.

Like this one, from my cousin Bryan. They were at  a bar, and some random dude walks up to Bill and is like, "heeeeeeeeeey." Bill got all uncomfortable, but the guy knew his name and said it's been a while. Left off with, see you in the woods! Now, Bill is not a hiker. I think he's gay.

Oh, and Blake and I DID hook up. But we're second cousins, and we were both very drunk. He had just turned 21, and I was 22. I got him drunk. It was my fault, because I undid his zipper. haha Afterward, we were both like, WTF just happened?!" We were so ashamed, we agreed never to discuss it again. And both of us never had a heterosexual encounter since.

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AI never loved your mind

It's true. Your mind, and its functioning, is not something that AI

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Getting a Womens Massage For De-Stressing

Womens massage at home  is definitely an up-and-coming topic. When I Google Womens Massage,  I am somewhat disappointed with the results. I still believe strongly that a PMS massage would solve the world's problems, but I am also realistic and know the masses will  wallow in ignorance of this fact. Look at me: I know it's the right thing for me, yet I don't book. I am not poor. I am not rich. I work and have some savings. But if I start  spending hundreds of dollars for massages, that won't be good. I tried the Clary Sage essential oil. I was expecting nothing, and got a whole lot. Shocking, actually. I was and am shocked. Yes. I felt my migraine slip away, my neck and brain felt like they became rubber. And, when I woke up to pee at 4 AM, I still felt its effects. Not at all intoxicating, not psychotropic, just very quickly and effectively stopped the migraine and tense feelings.