Untitled Misery Project

A Human-shaped Pile of Garbage

[torquesausage]

I guess I better get there fast.

[torquesausage]

I guess I'm losing access to this account. If you still want to follow my bullshit, I'll be at @RizzRustbolt now. Because I guess Tumblr thinks my disphoric personality is better than this one.

[torquesausage]

So I guess Tumblr got hacked and now they're trying to be sneaky and forcing everyone to change their password. Kind of sucks if you don't have access to your old email...

[queerlyquinn-deactivated2025031]

My therapist and I decided that from now on, when I’m thinking something negative about myself, I’m going to imagine that Donald Trump is saying it, because it’s really easy for me to just tell him to fuck off.

Example:

Trump: “Your thighs are fat.” Me: “Fuck you and your fucking wall.”

I think we’re onto something here.

[justedrecoverythings]

this is probably the best coping skill I’ve ever seen and I am ten billion percent going to use it too

[torquesausage]

And now you know why I call my schizoid personality “Brain Cheney”.

[torquesausage]

There were marigolds all over the place on my way home tonight, and after dinner my cookie didn’t have a fortune in it.

I think I’m going to die soon.

[averagefairy]

bobby flay is short for robert flavor

[torquesausage]

Or Robert Vivisector.

[torquesausage]

1284 new Exoplanets.

In just 0.25% of the sky.

And only planets whose orbital plane transits their star from our field of view..

And if you plug all that in to the Great Equation, you get something like 20,000 potential planets that could sustain life.

Space is crazy.

[torquesausage]

Do you think if Bernie Sanders announced Eleanor Holmes Norton as his running mate, he’d start picking up more superdelegates?

[maurypovichofficial]

What’s your Disney birth year movie 

[fruitsoftheweb]

“I wanted to make a mosh pit simulator but it turned out really creepy!“

[apitnobaka]

team cap

literally

[torquesausage]

That is exactly how Rudd dressed in high school.

[pipistrellus]

also kenzie invented a fun game on twitter

[the-inevitable-pinhole-burns]

Jessica Knife. (well, more accurately, Jessica Accidental-Self-Inflicted-Knife-Wound. i was 4 and decided to cut up an orange for myself. i still have the scar.)

[orcshaming]

Jessie Concrete. I sound hard as a motherfucker.

[cimness]

Jessica Car Door. 

Look, I refuse to be called Jessica. I knew way too many evil Jessicas over the years.

[sleighinbedgrowyrhair]

haley hot bowl of oatmeal. that’s officer haley hot bowl of oatmeal to you.

[whatyouwanted-whatyougot]

Chris Chihuahua. (Chris is my brother, and he realllllly did not like me for the first 15 years of my life.)

[curliestofcrowns]

Liz Bee Sting

i feel like that’s some kind of weird witty detective name?

[smokeythemajestic]

Louis Rusty Nail.

I’m 6 months away from retirement and way too old for this shit.

[beatingsofabesottedheart2]

Bradley Polio Vaccine

[lightreyofthestars]

Kirsty Dog Bite

[watersport5-deactivated20180924]

Zoe Electric-Cattle-Fence

[bolto-deactivated20211002]

jessica hornet is a better stripper name so im going to be a Sexy Cop

[torquesausage]

Billy Realization that I Accidentally Killed Billy

[mooserattler]

Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.

[moonblossom]

How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

[allthelittlebeagles]

i will always support this post

[freshrosemary-deactivated202303]

@mooserattler back on my dash!

[jjflow]

Why isn’t this at a million notes, yet, Dante???

[mooserattler]

I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.

[ptjtsubasa]

“But how do I explain gays to my children?”

[torquesausage]

He looks like that kilogram of feathers guy.

[veronicasantangelo]

gay people were not invented until 1977, when the musical group The Village People was formed

[trilies]

straight people are so… bizarre

[tyrantisterror]

Hasn’t Team Fortress 2 put literally EVERYTHING before logic and a coherent setting?

[paper-mario-wiki]

Bro have you ever played TF2? There’s a gun with 2 cans of soda taped to it that let you jump like 7 times without touching the ground.

[ubercharge]

sorry sjws but magicians and healy beam guns are more real than the homo gays :/

[torquesausage]

Is this the same Team Fortress that has Australia as the home of a scientific super-society?

[mostlydarksouls]

[black-0rpheus]

Eartha Kitt in Anna Lucasta, c. 1959