little homie strudel ass

Nigel * 24 * they/he * ask to tag !

[snoopyaday]

[thefugitivesaint]

Vera Bock (1905-1973), “The Heroes” by Charles Kingsley, 1954 Source

[longmontpotion]

Visit Original Link

-This is Paul.

Hey, Paul. How ya doin’?

Good.

Yeah, I need to get some bruschotti if I could.

Excuse me?

Bruschotti.

Schotti?

Yeah. A shot of Bruschotti.

Sorry, I can’t hear you man.

I need a shot of bruschotti.

Brusche?

Yeah. Bruschetti-schotti. If I could.

Uhh, Dude I can’t hear you-

Ah, bud?

You’re like… breaking up.

Yeah… Well, how late y'all open, bᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘᵘᵈ?

Uh, Nine o'clock.

Cool. I need some bru-, uh, bru- biscotti… and freschetta… and BRUSCHOTTI!

Okay are you gonna come in later?

You’re damn right. I’m gonna hustle up Biscotti. Manicotti BRUSCHOTTI.

Who is this-

Shittake.

Huh?

Kawasaki.

Alright, hold on dude, alright?

Hold on one second, n-now what is in the pumpkin brew?

The what?

The pumpkin brew.

I-uhh-I dunno, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

I had it at Thanksgiving. It’s coffee.

Pumpkin Brew?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I dunno I’m new so. Here I’ll let you talk to someone else, hold on alright?

I can’t- I can’t really hold I don’t have a lot of time here.

Okay.

But uh. Hey, do you guys uh… You guys wear wigs down there at all?

Do we wait?

Do you wear wigs ever?

No we don’t wear wigs.

What’s uuhp. [burp]

Do you wear wigs?

Maybe I do.

Huh?

maybe. Do you want me to come down and find out, or what?

Yeah! So I can fuck ya!

How’s that sound man?

Yeah, I’m gonna hit ya. Why don’t you come down here?

I’m gonna hit you with my kneebone, buddy.

Yeah I’m gonna hit you in your throat, yeah.

My KNEEBONE. Yeah. That’s exactly right.

I’m gonna knock you out.

Precisely. Precisely what you’re gonna be sayin’ when you’re layin on the flippin’ sidewalk, holmes.

Yeah? I’m gonna break your jaw.

Psh- I doubt it. I doubt-

Alright bitch I gotta leave alright?

I doubt that shit real seriously, hombre.

What the fuck are-

I’m gonna hit you in the cheekbone, man.

[unexplained-occurrences]

The Illustrated Police News (London, UK) 20 May 1876

[fruitsoftheape100]

No Homo We Smokin Penisas

[destikneeschild]

I am having a full throttle giggle attack…I am dying. I need to get off this app & get chicken & pasta stat!!!!

[fakelaurent-deactivated20191028]

So so so fucking real

[gasolineweirdo]

ancient rome was awesome they could just name someone Guy Interesting Teeth and he'd go on to deliver crushing wartime defeats to countries you've never heard of in your life

[thecitizeninsane]

Visit Original Link

[guardthefaultlines]

“One cannot write poems about trees when the forest is full of police.”

— Brecht, Bertolt (via howieabel)

[cigarettebrands]

Where am I? Oh look..a ciegarete. Dont mind if i do The cigeratte company

[turings-deactivated20180627]

[comiccartography]

“The Dungeon”

Olivier Schrauwen

Mome v14

[hustlerose]

[angelicguy]

going to hooters with horse blinders on and ordering a small cesar salad that i do not finish, i tip 200 dollars and kill myself in the parking lot with a katana

[1-d-a-deactivated20200727]

David Lynch: The Art Life (2016)

[totalheel]

one of the highest paying jobs in 2003 was being a “reverse-fluffer” for crazy frog, to make sure he wasn’t hard while they were filming

[totalheel]

i always keep a copy of Catcher in the Rye on me, in case i ever want to do any sensational crimes later

[lindsaychrist]

???

[juuliaroberts]

Umm set reminder

[aflo]