hi!

Amber | she/her | trans | 22

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

follow me for more great posts other people made

[nitrobishop]

one of the devs for Team Cherry (Hollow Knight + Silksong) came out as trans today. good for her!

[necrowyrm]

[beemovieerotica]

idk if i told the full story on here but i signed up for a research study where they were testing a new opioid, and it was supposed to be up to 5 injections increasing the dose to see what people could tolerate

i got the first dose and almost immediately fainted. they had to call in a whole medical team and it was a huge fucking deal

i was kicked out of the study and got a phone call later where they were supposed to tell me what the drug was, so i could avoid it in the future. they told me it was saline water. a placebo. i fainted from the placebo effect.

anyway, it's been a few months and i just got an email from the same department asking me to be a research participant in a new study: testing the effects of open-label placebo.

open label placebo is when the subjects and the researchers all know it's a placebo. they're testing the power of my mind. my power to imagine anything.

i like to think that they chose me for this specifically based on their past experience with me. "get the guy who fainted like a little bitch boy from saline water." anyway i just submitted all my info and i'm looking forward to getting started.

[only-tiktoks]

[devantnuit-ladeluge]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times

[fishing-lesbian-princess]

This will sound biased because I am a girl with freckles everywhere, I think it’s very important to appreciate girls with freckles everywhere. She’s got cute little dots all over her body how could you not love that

[kedreeva]

someone found a dollar this morning

[popillia]

Bug indentfication app identified me as my favourite species of jumping spider forever ago and I decided to doodle it instead of working 🫡

I fixed God's biggest mistake

[popillia]

I coloured it

[transfem-berdly-deltarune]

everybody say i love you black trans women

[viralfrog]

[spellinwaiting]

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

[porcelain-dollbones]

nebet is screen obsessed in general, it's really funny. she is always desperate to get on my phone and she will stare at shows playing on my computer for ages. ipad baby

[porcelain-dollbones]

Give Me Your Phone

[themothergut]

weeeeeeee

[wawawawwawwawwwawwwawawwa]

the socially anxious little girl would like to silently observe your discord server

[wawawawwawwawwwawwwawawwa]

if she is feeling particularly brave she might emote react to one of the messages

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

she'd also like to longingly look at everyone in the vc but never join

[beemovieerotica]

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

Fuck moon’s taking poison damage