This is primarily a personal blog where I reblog things and make posts about gender-related issues that are important to me, largely transmasculinity. If I get carried away and say something bigoted, call me out on that. I want to make this a place where people of all (or no) genders feel respected.
The ask box is open for anyone who wants to talk about gender, vent, recommend fundraisers and resources, or just say hi!
This post will probably be edited from time-to-time, so check back in.
Under the cut: definitions, important posts, resources, fundraisers, recommended blogs, and credits
What do these words mean? A list of definitions for the terms I use a lot here:
Transmisogyny: originally defined as the intersection of misogyny and transphobia and the way that can effect anybody, especially trans women. It is now more commonly used as the main word to discuss bigotry that largely effects or is directed towards transfems, trans women, and other femininely-aligned trans people.
Transandrophobia: originally defined as "the way that the fear of men impacts the material reality and mental/physical health of transgender men". It is now more commonly used as the main word to discuss bigotry that largely effects or is directed towards transmascs, trans men, and other masculinely-aligned trans people.
Intersexism: a term for bigotry that largely effects or is directed towards intersex people. This includes the appropriation of intersex terms (i.e. calling yourself transintersex or using CA(G)AB instead of A(G)AB as a perisex person), the use of intersex slurs to refer to yourself or others, and the broad exclusion of intersex people from conversations about gender, hormones, and surgeries.
Exorsexism: a term for bigotry that largely effects or is directed towards people who do not identify within the gender binary, including the attempt to group people into any forms of 'male' or 'female', or '[x]' or 'not [x]', with no nuance, as well as the perpatuation of exorsexist stereotypes.
TAPAI: Transandrophobia Affirming Ideologist, "one who believes that transandrophobia, isomisogyny, and other similar terms used to describe specific oppression faced by trans men and/or masculine trans individuals are valid."
TRF: Trans Radical Feminist, a term I use to refer to people who push transfeminism largely exclusively for gender-conforming trans women and tend to be extremely transandrophobic.
Please feel free to correct me if you feel as though I did not define any of these terms properly, or ask if I can add any other terms to the list that might confuse people.
Important posts
A collection of posts where I articulate my beliefs and feelings surrounding gender-based issues
Why I dislike 'TMA/TME'
Why I advocate for the term 'transandrophobia'
Oppression doesn't operate on your frameworks
Why this is personal to me
Resources:
A Short History of Trans Misogyny by Jules Gill-Peterson
I want to accumulate resources for trans people here. Anything from reading materials to hotlines, tell me if you can think of anything I should add!
@/theboywithgraywings
Fundraisers:
@/spotted-tomcat
@/kdinjenzen
@/blogwoofs
@/compassionlotion
@/ladyasteria21
@/amirmeavid
Please inform me if my fundraisers are out of date, and if you know any other trans people who need help!
saying this as a lesbian who loves women's boobs--sexually, even! but i don't think that we as a society should consider breasts inherently female or inherently sexual. a flat chest should not be seen as the "default" for gender neutrality but instead just one way a person can present. boobs should be normal. anyone of any gender can have boobs
Having experienced a lot of it in my 20s, I think some of the worst, pettiest, most straight up this-is-just-bullying-you're-passing-off-as-praxis incidences of Queer Infighting endemic to young people can be best understood as attempts to exercise power by people with very little power.
Like you're 22, you're queer, you've just become a Marxist, the scope of World Suck is overwhelming and you have $30 in your bank account. What can you do to feel like you have any power? Well, you can try to get your frenemy cancelled for cosplaying a character from a problematic show. You can write a public callout post over someone's obviously friendly use of a slur you don't think they technically have the right to reclaim. Doing this stuff can make you feel like you have power and your actions have an impact. Unfortunately the impact in question is a negative impact on other marginalized people. But that often takes some maturity and self-reflection to notice.
I'm reminded of this post from 2017. To paraphrase, OP took part in community service via their university and part of that was cleaning the bathrooms at the local homeless community centre, which would frequently get trashed, not because the homeless people using them disrespected the work of the people cleaning them but because they had so little control over other things that happened in their lives, and the bathroom was something they could affect.
This, too, is a trashed bathroom; young queer people living through hell and having precious little control over their circumstances or the world in which they exist can affect something by using the language of social justice as a cudgel on their would-be allies, as well as getting a brief feeling of power over someone else by doing it.
It's not worth it. Don't trash your community bathrooms.
yall are so fucking weird about gnc people. a woman wears a suit and she's "conforming to the patriarchy". a man wears a skirt and he's Secretly A Trans Egg. have you considered It's Fabric
I once said something along the lines of "why does everyone assume that every gnc cis man is an egg" and was harassed for it and sarcastically told that obviously the treatment of cis men should be our biggest concern and that I didn't know anything about egg culture (I do). You do realize that gnc people are queer too, right? You realize I can concern myself with "smaller" problems, because I love gnc people and am concerned about their well-being? You realize that telling people they must be trans because of their presentation is just as bad as telling someone must be cis for the same reasons?
I'm never going to shut up about how shitty the queer community treats gender non-conforming people, especially gender non-conforming men.
also the treatment of gnc cis men tells me a lot about how you'd treat gnc trans men. like, you think that if a man likes feminine clothing he's secretly a woman? do you know how many people have told me i'm not "actually trans" because i like feminine clothing? stop reinforcing gender norms i am Begging
Im sorry but some of you have gotten so focused on the idea of degendering binary trans people that you've just straight up forgotten that some people actually do use they/them pronouns.
I genuinely believe so much of queer discourse can be traced back to "one person of a specific minority wronged me personally, so now I assume that everyone of that specific minority are categorically evil."
That “cringe” nonbinary xenogender genderfuck therian who uses neopronouns and may or may not go on HRT while being loudly, proudly themselves will always be more revolutionary and subversive than a binary trans person who aggressively reproduces the cis status quo and shames anyone who doesn’t do the same.
By the way, I threw “therian” in here as a bit of a litmus test for those responding to it as something widely regarded as “cringe” but ultimately completely harmless and benign that’s often maligned by people with conservative beliefs. And well. It did its job quite amazingly given how many of the negative responses I’ve seen have focused on that rather than the overall message of shaming people for their identities is bad and counterproductive. It’s almost like these people view all of those stated identities this way but used the silly furry one as a “weak point” they’d get minimal pushback on to dismiss the very clear point of the post. Literally hilarious honestly
"Trans men can't be lesbians because they're men and when they're in lesbian spaces they're invading it!!!! If trans women wanted to be in gay spaces NO ONE eould accept it >:[" Hey so I wss on Grindr and for every gay trans man I saw 3 trans women and as far as I've been alive gay spaces are pretty accepting of trans women. I think. Maybe you should review why do you think "men invading women's spaces" is such a issue for you.
"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs
the study that concluded trans women on average make less than trans men only took into account full-time jobs, meaning it ignored data from trans people in part time jobs. trans men are more than *twice* as likely as trans women to have part-time jobs, which basically by definition pay less than full-time jobs. from this study (sample size 27,000+ usamerican transgender people) which does include part-time jobs, trans men [in the united states on average] make about 30% less than trans women, which is a PRETTY BIG NUMBER to fuck up on a reporting decision don'tcha think
Why do leftists try so hard to defend their bodyshaming of men? Why tf do you think ‘small penis’ jokes and shaming men for being short or fat or having a neck beard is okay, as long as the specific man you’re hurtling these insults towards is an asshole?
YOU’RE STILL BEING FATPHOBIC, INTERSEXIST, AND TRANSANDROPHOBIC, AND JUST GENERALLY BODY SHAMING ANYONE WITH THOSE TRAITS.
Absolutely exhausting to see people's response to "hating men ultimately leads to all types of transphobia. It doesn't belong in feminist spaces and ultimately harms everyone involved. Hating men is in fact not decentering men." And seeing half the comments be "well trans men are all evil misogynists who need to die" or "maybe I wouldn't hate trans men if they stopped acting like they're oppressed" YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM
A moment of silence for the trans men who, due to their assigned gender at birth, have been legally banned from speaking in public in areas under Taliban rule.
A moment of silence for the trans men who, due to their assigned gender at birth and religious backgrounds, have been taught that they are forbidden from being anything but broodmares to a man they may or may not consent to marriage or sex with.
A moment of silence for the trans men who died in childbirth from a pregnancy they may or may not have consented to.
A moment of silence for the trans men who dropped out of high school after getting pregnant.
A moment of silence for the trans men who only knew their desire for masculinity, but were beaten to death for it and told they were going to hell.
A moment of silence for the trans men who had their clitorises mutilated by female genital mutilation.
A moment of silence for the trans men who died without ever once getting to wear pants or cut their hair the way they wanted.
A moment of silence for the trans men who committed suicide rather than be seen as a woman anymore.
A moment of silence for the trans men who never were allowed to learn how to read.
A moment of silence for the trans men with perfectly treatable conditions who were allowed to die to avoid violating "modesty" rules.
A moment of silence for the trans men subjected to honor killings.
A moment of silence for the trans men who were murdered by abusive partners.
A moment of silence for the trans men who were subject to "hymen checks."
I feel like a lot of conversations about the porn industry and how it abuses trans people generally neglects to mention trans men, which isn’t surprising but it’s disappointing nonetheless.
I feel like it’s worth talking about how the vast majority of transmasc porn is detrans kink and how trans men are forced to market themselves as “fakebois” or “pussyboys” and do mostly detrans kink content. Please include trans men in these conversations.
"im not saying feminism is for everyone but-" the fuck? well im saying that. feminism is for everyone. yes even cishet men will benefit from feminism and cishet men should be feminists because cishet men are indeed harmed by the patriarchy; nowhere near to the extent that women are, but having a culture that is fully equal and anti-misogynist benefits everyone. have we forgotten that lifting up the disenfranchised people in society helps all of us as a collective? "im not saying that universal and unalienable human rights are for everyone but-" YES THE FUCK THEY ARE LOL
