MOVED!!!!!

GO TO @TRANSMOTHMAN

[transmothman-old]

FINALLY MOVING ONTO A MAIN BLOG, THIS IS AN ARCHIVE OF GOOFY STUFF NOW

@transmothman

[transmothman-old]

FINALLY MOVING ONTO A MAIN BLOG, THIS IS AN ARCHIVE OF GOOFY STUFF NOW

@transmothman

[basicbascinet]

I'm surprised the knight kink crowd hasn't picked up on the fact that historical knights had a habit of capturing each other for ransom. What do you mean you don't see the sexual tension in rivals seeking each other out in battle or through ambush, deliberately avoiding harming their target so they may be taken back to the attacker's castle, either held as a prisoner or as a honored "guest" as the case may be, until they are redeemed by their friends and allies?

[enki2]

[pangur-and-grim]

a fruit like a softened scythe shot its flavour into my mouth

[pangur-and-grim]

when I die. how about that

[insaneandlovingit]

You would not believe your ass

If ten million largemouth bass.

[problemnyatic]

desired you while the women flee

[scalpho]

"mwahahaha" could be an evil laugh but it could also be "mwah ahaha" like someone kissing you and then laughing joyously because they love you

[notbecauseofvictories]

A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

[cameoappearance]

Reblog if you are daunted by the complexities and unknowns

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

[itsbasil]

you put those tags on this post where they belong

[creepycrag]

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[wakingfromthewater]

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

[artistic-octopus]

[wordswithkittywitch]

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

[totally-not-an-al1en]

[saturnisfilledwithbees]

“Put him on his knees give him something to believe in” has the exact same energy and depth of meaning as anything Hozier puts out on the regular but since it’s sung by Megan Thee Stallion no one takes it seriously. In this essay I will-

[saturnisfilledwithbees]

To flesh this out a little bit more: both Megan Thee Stallion and Hozier write and sing really sexual songs, but they’re different in that Hozier’s music is typically “let me worship you” while Megan’s is usually “I’m worshipping myself,” which makes all the difference because it’s an acceptance of power rather than the giving of it. He’s the sinner, she’s the saint. However, taking their difference in genres out of it, people don’t usually seem to take Megan Thee Stallion’s music seriously in comparison to Hozier because a) her lyrics are more overtly and blatantly sexual and b)she’s claiming her sexuality for herself, and that scares a lot of people. The secret, no-one-wants-to-talk-about reason is that she’s a confident black woman, which terrifies people way than sex does. In conclusion, Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion are two sides of the same poetic, sexual coin, but people just don’t want to admit it. Which is WHY a collaboration between Hozier and Megan would be so powerful that it would change the timeline as we know it yes I will elaborate 

[swishersposts]

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

[zsnes]

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

[burins]

thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago

[burins]

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

[didyougaming]

How excited are you for Gogurt Spaghetti?

Yum it's good

I don't believe in innovation or bettering humanity

Voting ended onJul 17

[didyougaming]

The results are in! And have been in but I've been very busy so I'm just getting to it now. 51.6% correctly answered, and for this you will each have 10,000 "points" added to your "score"! (This is a common way to denote gaming prowess.) For the 48.8% of you who decided to be Scornful Villains, you may find yourselves afflicted with a curse.

This wasn't as disappointing as the sandwich poll, so you can give yourselves a collective pat on the back for that! More gaming facts coming out soon maybe, I heard they actually released a few new video games recently.

[twobeesornottwobees]

printers behave like that because the medieval monks they put out of work are haunting them

[dorothygale]

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.