Saw your post about this, would just like to add that there are many ways of referring to yourself in Chinese:
我 is the ”normal” way of saying it, the closest equivalent to the English Me/I
Wukong doesn’t do that.
Wukong calls himself 俺老孙.
俺 is a character which among other things is the stereotypical gangster/low class way of referring to oneself, carrying a connotation of bragging all the time. It’s essentially him calling himself “your old friend” to everybody he meets.
The only other character to regularly not use 我 in the novel like this is Erlang.
Erlang uses 吾- effectively “this noble one”.
Which really just tells you all you need to know about these two characters as relevant to their foil with each other.
This is AMAZING, my life is enriched knowing this XD
Hey, beautiful JttW fans! Remember when I asked how often everyone thought Sun Wukong got whammied with the migraine spell?
Well, I wanna talk about the results, because I find them fascinating. 74% of respondents guessed a number higher than the one in the novel. So, let's explore the many (and valid) reasons for the difference between canon and popular perception!
But first, the actual numbers from the book:
Tripitaka used the golden fillet to punish Wukong (drumroll please)... eight times.
He also used it twice more, once at Wukong's request, to differentiate between doppelgängers. Guanyin also recited it once, making a total of eleven. I have posted the details of each incident here. (Once again: if Tripitaka recited the spell multiple times without stopping, I am counting that as One Incident, in the same way that being stabbed more deeply on one occasion than on another still counts as One Stab.)
A full half of respondents felt that Wukong was probably punished with the fillet fifty times or more. A quarter felt it was 100+. That would be a Monkey Migraine happening at least every 2-3 weeks, for 14 years.
So why do so many of us JttW fans believe the number is so high?? And what effect does this have on our characterization--and mischaracterization--of Sun Wukong? I have THEORIES!
1) All eight times Wukong is punished occur in the first half of the pilgrimage. This somewhat mundane and depressing theory also explains why adaptations and abridgments are way more likely to cover, say, Lady Bone Demon or the Ginseng Fruit than Jupiter’s Rival. Namely: quite a lot of people never make it all the way through this very long book. If you haven’t personally read through the final forty-two chapters of westward travel in which Tripitaka never once recites the spell… yeah, of course your perception would be a bit skewed.
Further, if all the adaptations are focusing on arcs from the first half of the journey, you’re going to get the impression of Many Migraines even if you have read the whole thing!
2) The scenes in which the fillet gets used are extremely memorable. First, they’re just straight-up shocking: we’ve gotten used to the Monkey King being nigh-invulnerable, shrugging off axes and armies with equal ease, so the fact that something is hurting him at all is jarring, both on a power-scaling/logistical level (wait, the merely mortal monk can hurt him?) and on a gut-sympathy level (someone is hurting my favorite character! I don’t like this!).
But most importantly, there’s the element of injustice. Nothing will lodge in an audience’s mind more firmly and annoyingly than injustice. It is the popcorn kernel in the molars of your thinking.
I have written a bit on the Lady Bone Demon arc, which is one of the most famous and oft-adapted arcs in JttW—in part because it’s got some of the strongest emotional stakes, and in part because it takes place fairly early on in the Journey (see Theory 1). But I would argue that this arc sticks in people’s heads most strongly because it isn’t fair. Tripitaka did have some valid reasoning behind his mistake, but that nuance gets forgotten in the reader’s indignation that he hurt Wukong, both physically and emotionally, when Wukong was genuinely trying to help him. The takeaway for many readers is not only, “hey, screw that guy,” it’s also, “wow, the monk is a fundamentally unjust person.” It is an extremely easy leap from there to the assumption that he would probably do this kind of thing all the time.
Basically: “he committed an unjust act” —> “he is an unjust person” —> “he is a trigger-happy hypocrite and Monkey regularly suffers for it.”
2.5) Cultural dissonance contributes to the aforementioned shock. You all know the oft-repeated defense of Tripitaka: “corporal punishment was the norm in that time/ culture; Wukong himself believes in corporal punishment of his underlings.” Since this is both clearly true and explored better in other essays, I won’t get into it here. What I want to point out instead is the way that this cultural disconnect makes the scenes where the fillet is used more memorable.
The author/ compiler of JttW clearly thought Sun Wukong getting his skull bent into gourd-shape was hilarious. Probably he expected that his audience would also find it funny. But modern readers reflexively recoil. The disconnect sticks out, because we're abruptly alienated from the author/ text: “I don’t agree with you here. Actually I kinda disagree with you on a fundamental moral level, and that feels isolating.”
So yeah, that’s gonna make the fillet scenes more memorable, too.
3). The popular LEGO show making some time-saving choices in their depiction of Heaven/ the Journey. Certain complex arcs are altered/ simplified by necessity in this fast-paced adaptation, including Wukong earning the circlet. @itsabouttimex2 explained all of this much more insightfully than I could, here. Also the (very smart) decision to make Wukong still flawed instead of an enlightened Buddha interacting with MK has the unfortunate side effect of suggesting that the circlet didn't really accomplish much. Since the show makes him very likable and sympathetic pre-mountain, and not significantly more enlightened post-journey... yeah, we're back to the "memorable injustice" problem: he got his skull squeezed for what, exactly? Funsies?
4). A Gap in Character Likability: Oof, this one. I have…probably several essays’ worth of thoughts on this topic, but quite a lot can be summed up in these two fascinating TVTropes articles. Highly worth reading, but the gist of ‘em is that fans have a tendency to exaggerate existing flaws in characters they already dislike, and ignore canonical wrongdoing from characters they love (or think are hot). This is on full display in the fans’ responses to Wukong and Tripitaka. Wukong is competent, funny, uninhibited, and drives the journey--and more crucially, the narrative--forward by overcoming any problems that arise. This makes him enjoyable to read about/ watch, regardless of his flaws, and our own enjoyment colors the way we judge his actions.
The inverse is often true for Tripitaka: in the place of combat skills, he has a stick up his butt. Plus, he frequently stalls narrative progress by being kidnapped. Where Wukong is a power fantasy, Tripitaka is the opposite: he reacts to violence and trauma in the way we, non-super-powered readers, would probably also react: ie, freezing up, crying, yelling, and needing rescue.
None of this makes him Bad, but it does mean that many frustrated readers are inclined to be extra annoyed by his flaws and mistakes.
It doesn’t help that, although this story advertises itself as a journey to religious enlightenment that happens to incidentally be an action-adventure road trip, we don’t actually see the bits where Tripitaka is teaching his disciples Buddhism. So Tripitaka’s primary contribution to the Pilgrimage, being a teacher—the reason any of his disciples signed on with him in the first place—gets overlooked and forgotten.
(I have further Thoughts about the way Tripitaka is given some very feminine coding/ roles by the standards of fiction (repeatedly referred to as beautiful, serves as the “moral compass” and the “damsel,” is framed as delicate and emotional and pure, gets subjected to S.A.), and how there might be some buried misogyny showing up in the way people react so strongly against having a guy like that exist as a main character, never mind one with--gasp--authority over the more masculine-coded disciples. But that is an essay for another time.)
5). C’mon, angst like that is a goldmine. I almost don’t need to elaborate here. I draw fanart and write fic myself, guys; I get it. Sun Wukong is so incredibly powerful that we are inherently interested in anything that can bring him down. If the fillet is not being actively explored in the adaptation/fan work at hand, it’s a useful point of past angst to be referenced. See, for instance, all the gorgeous art of Wukong with scars around his brow, or the stories in which a sympathetic love interest defends Wukong from his unjust Master. Pain points in fiction are fascinating; it makes sense there’d be a fannish tendency to explore this one. But because so many people’s primary interaction with/ exposure to JttW is via these fan works instead of novel canon, the perspective ends up skewed—and furthermore, skewed in a self-accelerating loop.
Why Any Of This Matters
So I guess all the above is to say: I get it. It does make sense, on multiple levels, why so many people come away with this same perspective on the fillet. And it honestly wouldn’t bother me an inch, if it weren’t for one thing:
People use this incorrect idea to support rampant mischaracterization of BOTH main characters in JttW.
Tripitaka's the obvious one. And listen, you will not hear me make any claims that Tripitaka is perfect. He ain’t. He is…a long way from perfect. He honestly embodies a fussy Confucian bureaucrat a lot more than the ideal Buddhist holy man the text tries to present him as.
But if you take your (wrong) idea that Tripitaka was punishing Wukong every other week, and use that to fuel some (extremely wrong) characterization of Wukong’s beloved Master as a cruel abusive stupid hypocrite who jumps on any excuse to hurt his student…
…Well, there’s nothing I can do about it. Sometimes one interpretation just speaks to you. But it makes me sad, because you are then:
(1) missing out on so much fascinating nuance and symbolism in your enjoyment of JttW, honestly, the whole mind-heart dynamic is brilliant.
(2) missing out on fantastic story potential (a flawed and misguided character who is trying to be good but screws up is 100% more interesting than A Big Meanie, always, and I will die on that hill).
(3) also mischaracterizing Sun Wukong.
The first and obvious layer of mischaracterization: Sun Wukong is profoundly devoted to Tripitaka. He may get annoyed with him, especially early in the journey, but c’mon: Wukong is the guy who randomly stops flying to look down at the monk and compose poems about how admirable he is. Portraying Tripitaka as abusive not only warps/ belittles Wukong’s love and sacrifice on his behalf, it also, more crucially, misses the whole point and impact of Wukong’s arc.
At the time Buddha sealed him under the mountain, Wukong was a genuinely selfish, arrogant person, with no impulse control and little to no compassion. But at the point Guanyin finds him, Wukong has had 500 years to think. He freely admits he was wrong and wants to do better. So he is delighted to have a Master to rescue him, not just from the mountain, but from being stuck in his old ways. (Allegory!)
…but then he throws a tantrum and storms off the very first time he’s told he acted wrongly. He comes back on his own, because he really does want to achieve enlightenment and the dragon king points out to him the genuine nobility and honor to be found in discipleship, but as soon as he understands there are going to be actual consequences for his actions going forward, he tries to murder his Master.
Which makes sense, because until the Buddha arrived, Sun Wukong never once, in his entire long life, made the connection that his actions had consequences…or at least, consequences he couldn’t just hit very hard with a stick.
It is Tripitaka’s job to teach Wukong that he is not above consequences. And Wukong needs--and wants--that growth. He hits a point where he realizes he needs to start listening to his Heart in order to be a whole person.
And it works! Despite all of Tripitaka’s blundering and foolishness and fear, he understands things Wukong does not (see @Ryin-Silverfish ’s fantastic essay on this topic), and so is able to curb the worst of Wukong’s terrible impulses. This culminates in Wukong’s personal midpoint—the Macaque arc—when he kills off the part of himself that wants to have it all without sacrifice or compassion. (I’ve got a post on that here!) The fillet is never used again after that.
And at the end of the story, the fillet disappears of its own accord. Because he doesn’t need it.
I get so mad at adaptations that frame the fillet as some kind of shock collar that got removed by Authority once Wukong proved he was Obedient, but could be buckled back on if ever he strays. (Looking at you, Black Myth: Wukong. You're gorgeous, but...Argh.) That misses the entire point. The fillet represents discipline, the disciplining of one’s mind that is crucial to being a good person, and Wukong proved that he could discipline himself. At which point the fillet (external discipline) naturally ceased to exist.
And Wukong didn’t even notice it had gone until Tripitaka pointed it out to him.
(The allegory is so freaking perfect, ugh, I love this book SO MUCH.)
Sun Wukong needs his Master in order to succeed, just as much as Tripitaka needs his disciple. That is literally the point of the book. Both of them screw up and hurt each other. But you shouldn’t cut out your heart because it hurts, anymore than you should stop thinking because you sometimes think terrible thoughts. You can’t yell at your own feelings and claim they’re bullying you and still expect to be a healthy person. You have to accept that your own heart will hurt you, sometimes wrongly or illogically, and learn to be a better, more compassionate person because of the hurt you’ve gone through.
Which is what Wukong does. It's what he actively wants and pursues. And that is admirable as all hells. Reducing Tripitaka to a trigger-happy abuser with nothing to offer the Journey is also a reduction of Wukong’s agency and hard-won humility and genuine desire to improve himself.
Tight-Fillet Spell Uses and Their Justifications (or lack thereof) in JttW
✅= justified
❌= not justified
☑️= up for debate
⭐️= Goddess of Mercy Stamp of Approval
✅⭐️ 1st - year 1, ch 14, killing bandits. Justified-ish in that six (admittedly lousy) human beings died when Wukong could have just as easily scared them off, tied them up, knocked them out, reported them to the magistrate, tattooed “I am a criminal loser” on their foreheads, etc. Belatedly justified much harder in that Wukong promptly attempted to murder his Master afterward, after swearing to obey him. (For context, this would be the period equivalent of, like, patricide today.)
The Goddess of Mercy approved this punishment! (Obviously: she provided the circlet.)
✅⭐️ 2nd - year 1, ch 16, cassock fiasco. Justified. Wukong deliberately and publicly disobeyed his Master, and as a result Tripitaka lost a sacred treasure entrusted to him by his goddess, one of exactly three worldly possessions he has ever been permitted to own in his life. Yeah, if someone did that to me I’d want to give him a migraine.
Also SWK doubled down and gleefully burned down an (admittedly corrupt) monastery.
The Goddess of Mercy scolded Wukong roundly for his actions and only agreed to help him "for the sake of the Tang Monk." I think we can presume she approves of his punishment.
❌ 3rd - year 3, ch 27, the Lady Bone Demon (3 uses). Yeah, we all know this story. Badly done, Tang Monk. Badly done multiple times. Tripitaka honestly did believe Wukong had murdered three innocent people in cold blood, but a trace more critical thinking (read: suspicion of Bajie’s motives) could have prevented a lot of pain and heartache.
❌ 4th - year 6, ch 38, Bajie persuades Tripitaka that Wukong could save the king, but doesn’t want to bother and is lying about it. This one was a dick move from Bajie and Tripitaka both. Bajie I get—he was trying to get back at Wukong for playing a series of nasty pranks—but Tripitaka, have you learned nothing? Don’t listen to the pig!
✅ 5th - year 6, ch 39, at Wukong's request, the band-tightening sutra is recited to determine which of two Tripitakas is the real deal. I guess Wukong really wanted to kill the demon impersonating his Master, and thought the headache was worth it.
✅ ⭐️ 6th - year 8, ch 56, more murdered bandits (2 uses).This big group of bandits was indeed a threat (though not to Wukong), and he did…sort of give them a chance? So I’d have said only Sorta Justified--even with the added factor that Tripitaka was only captured because Wukong scared his horse into bolting, just for the lolz--except that as Tripitaka was performing funeral rites for the men whose deaths he felt were on his conscience, Wukong started mocking the murdered victims. Read the room, Monkey.
But Wukong not only fails to act repentant, he doubles down: when the pilgrims’ elderly hosts tell them a sob story about their foolish unfilial son who’d joined the bandits, Wukong goes out and kills their child and presents his severed head to the old couple as a trophy.
Migraine for Monkey. Migraine for Monkey for 1000 years!
The Goddess of Mercy agreed that Wukong deserved the tight-fillet punishment BUT not banishment for this incident!
☑️ ⭐️ 7th - year 8, ch 57-8, the sutra is recited to determine which of two Monkeys is real (Guanyin once, Tripitaka once). Sort of justified? Tripitaka is fresh off being concussed and nearly killed by “Wukong,” and is grappling with “why are there two of them,” and goes: aha, last time there was a doppelganger, the headache sutra revealed the truth. The two monkeys yell no, don’t, Guanyin already tried that, but they're too late. Or possibly Tripitaka was feeling vindictive. Or possibly he’s just, y’know. Concussed.
This is the last use of the tight-fillet spell in the 100-chapter book.
The Goddess of Mercy whammied Wukong her very own self! Approved! Presumably she would not have wanted Tripitaka to do it again but I don’t think she can blame him for ignorantly reacting the exact same way she did.
I can definitely see why some people would get tired of the monster-of-the-week style of writing in Journey to the West, but you do have to admit there is something very cathartic about watching a whole set of violent & powerful guys throwing their weight around getting curb stomped by a little man who looks like this:
Tripitaka represents the human heart and sense of morality. But like with the specific moral compass of a young female English teacher fresh out of her studies and right into her first job at a highschool where she will get ripped to shreds. We are stuck between screaming at him and cradling him like a baby.
Pigsy represents the base desires of humanity. But particularly the desires of your worst male coworker. We don't like him at all but I guess he can be funny sometimes.
A Random Headcanon I Have About Each of the Pilgrims Pt. 2
We've had one, yes. But what about second headcanon dump??
I have so many of these and they bring me so much joy there may be a part 3. Or like 7 more parts we'll see.
Now this is a big one for me and I put it in as many things as I possibly can: Wukong hides in trees when he's upset. Of course, he climbs trees for other reasons— scouting, looking for fruit, sleeping sometimes, playing, or literally any reason a monkey would have to climb trees. But if he's hurt (emotionally and/or physically) or angry or sad or whatever, he's going to retreat up the nearest tall tree to cry and sulk. In theory it's because he's guaranteed to have space up there, but almost all the people he knows can fly, so it's not the best way to be alone in practice. Realistically, it's because there's just something about curling up in the branches and leaves, far above the world, with the smells and sounds of tree all around him that is so very comforting to him. It feels inherently, instinctually safe, like returning home.
Tripitaka needs to look people in the eyes when he talks to them. I assume because someone told him once when he was little that it was extremely rude not to make eye contact while talking and he internalised it so so much (this is not based on anything ever nu-uh no siree). Anyway this was fine back when he lived in Chang'an and only ever conversed to humans of a similar height to him, but then he left and now hangs out with three demons of wildly different sizes each and every day. Pigsy is the easiest, he's not that much taller than him and can usually just stoop a little to meet his eyes. Wukong will usually hop up on his cloud or climb something nearby in order to be at eye-level, or in more vulnerable or emotional conversations, Tripitaka will sit or kneel beside him. Once. When Wukong had done something incredibly bad. He was served the indignity of Getting Lifted. Tripitaka never did that again, mostly because Wukong didn't talk to him for days afterwards, but it is an ever-present threat now. Sandy usually has to bend down to talk to anyone, so he does that naturally, but Tripitaka likes to ask him to sit down to chat if the circumstances permit. The first time this happened, Tripitaka called him over and said "sit down, I want to talk to you" and poor fresh out of the river and fairly sure that everyone here hates him Sandy was like oh no I'm in so much trouble and then was completely blindsided when Tripitaka was just like, "Alright so, this is what luggage we have, can you be responsible for carrying this much? Also if there's anything you need to feel settled in please let me know and I'll do my best to help you out." Anyway I imagine over the course of the journey he gets a bit chiller about the whole eye-contact thing, but it takes quite some time to get to that point.
Out of all the pilgrims, Pigsy is the most allergic to the thought of them all being considered a family. As much as I like to imagine it every moment of every day, I don't think Tripitaka would ever consciously look at his disciples and say, "Ah yes my beloved demon sons," but he does think of them as his children subconsciously. He is the biggest mother hen and he looked at the boys and said "is anyone going to parent that?" and then didn't wait for an answer. Wukong quotes "Once a teacher, always a father" at any opportunity and it's pretty clear that when he says "Master" he just means "Father" at this point. And Sandy imprinted like a baby bird. Tripitaka showed up and said "Hi, hello, welcome to the pilgrimage" and Sandy was just like, ah. Yes. This small man is my dad now. But Pigsy? Pigsy is having none of it. Sure, he'll call his Wukong and Sandy "brother" but it's a religious title! He's being good and proper and respectful and all that! Of course he doesn't actually think of them as siblings! And there's no way you're going to catch him thinking of Tripitaka as his dad. Well yeah he was the one who first quoted that "once a teacher, always a father" thing, but HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WUKONG!!!! Not himself! And it was a very stressful situation and he wasn't thinking straight, so there! Pigsy doesn't need a father figure!! Who does? Who would want someone to take him in and treat him as their own son and give you a home and a family and then see one thing they don't like and suddenly you're disowned and everyone hates you even your wife and no matter how hard you work and how much you try to prove yourself they still do their best to get you to leave and... shit.
Because Sandy was the first of the pilgrims for Guanyin to recruit and the last one to get picked up by the gang, he kind of expected that it would be just him and his Master and got something of a rude shock when he realised Wukong and Pigsy were also going to be accompanying him. It wasn't a bad shock, per se, it's just that... well, he had a long time to think while waiting in the river, a long time to imagine how the journey was going to play out. And he'd sort of had this vision of being a demon slaying hero, whom the Tang Monk would rely on and who the world would remember. But of course, his two elder brothers are more heroic, more reliable and more memorable than he could ever be. He isn't bitter; he loves his brothers so so much and couldn't live without them now that he's gotten to know them, but... well, one is always going to be disappointed when their daydreams are met with reality.
This is one that I've seen around a bit, probably because it's one of the only directions you can really expand upon him, but Ao Lie really misses his family. He's got a lot of anger towards his father, of course he does, the guy tried to execute him, but he misses his mother and his siblings and all his cousins. He hasn't talked to them since the incident and he can't bear the thought of what they might say to him now. When Prince Mo'ang showed up in Chapter 43, Lie was terrified of his brother recognising him in his horse form. But Mo'ang didn't recognise him, he didn't even give the innocuously grazing white horse a second glance, and Lie felt like that was worse. He'll have to face his family one day... but that's too much to think about right now.
Someone I follow on Facebook, a professional Chinese opera actor from Japan who specializes in Sun Wukong, reposted the following image (larger version) on Facebook.
If the Journey To The West was a modern day road trip where in the car would each of the pilgrims sit
I have given this way way too much thought so buckle up (pun intended)
So this is the layout of most cars where I live, which I will be placing each of the pilgrims in over the course of this essay:
So first of all, Bailongma (the horse) is absolutely the designated driver. I don't know if he's actually old enough to legally drive, and I doubt any of the pilgrims could be reliable driving instructors, but it doesn't matter. Let the teenage dragon delinquent drive the car don't worry about it. What could go wrong.
With Bailongma in the driver's seat, Tripitaka is ABSOLUTELY passenger princess. He spends a lot of time sitting there and looking pretty, but he is also in charge of the music and handing out the snacks and managing the chaos in the backseat. That being said he's also asleep half the time.
That leaves the backseat to The Boys. Which is unwise, but the plot can't progress without them fighting.
Wukong sits Back Seat Left, mostly because that's where Tripitaka can easily turn his head to tell him to knock it off. For this same reason, I am putting Pigsy in Back Seat Right, which is Tripitaka's blind spot. Why yes I did make this thematic.
Which leaves Sandy in the Back Seat Middle. Yes he is absolutely squashed because there's no way he, a massive river ogre, can fit in that tiny space when a normal human can barely do it. Yes he is right between his brothers who are constantly screaming at and hitting each other. Yes he is wearing headphones 90% of the time.
Yijie’s father is chasing the working girls out of his office as Yijie makes his way up. Their cackling is fox-like and familiar as they rush past him with giggled 'Hi Yijie's~' and clutch their envelopes to their chests.
His father barks something down at them in mandarin but he's got no teeth in his tone and it just makes those fox cackles get louder as they disappear down the stairs with a slam of the door.
His Pa meets his eyes then. Yijie raises an eyebrow, “Gettin’ bullied again?”
He snorts, scratching the back of his head. “Eh, they're ancient. Means they're good hagglers, they're annoying as fuck too,” he makes his way back into his office, gesturing Yijie in behind him.
He follows easily, cradling a good wine bottle to his neck to ward off the summer heat.
“They pray for rich idiots, I give em rich idiots, but ‘Course they're foxes!” His Pa rants as he sits at his desk. “They show up with an itemized list of services rendered,” He stresses “and estimated prices! I asked them if they're serious, but one's a hulijing and I don't even know what to call jade face so what was the point of asking? They got porcelain masks for faces, so they just made me seriously consider the price difference ‘tween 'lip service' and 'mouth service' for three hours. Hell!” He scrubs at his red face, but he's kinda laughing.
Yijie rolls his eyes and sets down the wine bottle with a thunk. It sits between them on the desk like a white flag.
His Pa eyes the bottle with barely concealed interest. Then eyes Yijie thoughtfully, only ever calculated when there's something he wants involved. “But look at me talkin’, you haven't checked up on yer old man in months.”
He's tired. He doesn't wanna ask. He won't wanna answer.
"Pa." He grits.
There goes the happy boss, packed away like he never existed. His Pa's beady black eyes stare flat n cold back, a quiet hurt that he'll never say. Then he grins, and it's just his cheerful father again. "Piglet."
Pa can't ever say, "I'm mad at you," he's always gotta giggle behind his hand and try and mess with you however he can. Tease n poke n prod until the real issue comes out cause he gets upset. Grown ass man.
And Usually when his Pa starts acting like this Yijie gets mad, he gets mad and they fight and he leaves, but. Ever since he moved out this shit has been nagging at him like crazy. "Can I. Ask somethin'?"
Pa pouts at him, doesn't make his face less of a pig's mind you, and gives a big dramatic sigh. "...Ahh I can't say no to your little face, c'mere!" His father snatches him into a hug. Yijie makes a squealy little sound in the back of his throat and nearly knocks over the bottle as he struggles for dear life.
"PA!" He roars, shoving at him "Yer barely wearing a shirt!"
"My son is so unfillial!" His Pa whines dramatically, squeezing him harder into his chest.
UNFILLIAL?! Yijie does his best to kick him while suffocating. His father completely ignores it! "He doesn't want to give his own father a hug just cause he's got a bit of skin out! This cruel son of mine! Utterly heartless! After all I've done to raise and feed'ya!"
Yeah, raise and feed him—right between the brothel and the casino! Yijie makes an angrier squeal and shoves himself away for breathing space. "Put me DOWN so we can have an ADULT CONVERSATION, OLD MAN, or so help me. I will throw the booze out the window!"
The squeezing pauses. "You're bluffing. That's expensive."
"I. Don't. Bluff." Yijie says harshly, daring his father to disbelieve him.
There's a stillness in the air as his father considers this, and Yijie pointedly doesn't think about the fact that with his father's size this hug has him about four good feet off the ground, so he can't reach the wine, so he's absolutely bluffing.
But he's slowly set down on his own two feet.
His Pa then snatches up the bottle and cradles it to his neck, huffing like the big baby he is. "Whatcha want?" He grunts down at him.
Yijie folds his arms. "Gonna answer me now?"
"Bah, you never ask me for shit, of course I'll answer." Pa pouts against the bottle. "This ain't bout yer Ma again yeah? We already had that talk and that sucked."
Yijie winces, it did suck. Worse than sucking It was embarrassing. "Nah, it's worse."
"Ah kid, my life, you're evil." Pa flicks his hand and gives him these nervous eyes. "But you know, I didn't—I didn't mind really—that—"
He's in his head about Yijie being an oops baby again, it comes up and he gets so damn guilty about it fer no reason.
"S'fine, stop whatever that is," Yijie sits at the table. "It's not what I'm askin' about."
"Yeah?" His Pa gives him an almost curious look. "What's so important that you're giving me the good stuff?"
"S'a bribe, old man." Yijie sits back, meeting Pa's eyes stubbornly. "I know you hate talking 'bout yer brothers, after all."
"What." His Pa's voice drops to an inhuman register. His eyes flicker to a bright, iridescent color that dies as soon as it appears.
Yijie refuses to waver. "I wanna know why you only talk about em when yer drunk, why they ain't ever been around while I was growin up."
His Pa, the only parent he's ever known, looks away.
He don't ever say no is the thing, avoids the whole word. He shoves him into something else, or dances past the topic or just tells him to stop doing shit he wasn't supposed to but his Pa. Don't ever. Say no.
But he looks like he's considering it now. Yijie can see the bags under his eyes and the smile lines and everything he's used to seeing on his Pa's face get more pronounced the more the silence goes on.
Cause it's always been just him and Pa. A working girl or two. But always in the end, just him and his awful old man. No brothers to help, no hands offered, just pretty lights and deep shadows.
And Yijie just wants to know the names that haunt his father’s tongue.
Pa meets his eyes and immediately looks away again, muttering resentfully under his breath. “Why d’you even need to know? What's the point of digging up all that useless crap?” Then he opens the bottle with steel sharp teeth and tells him. "I need to be drunker than this, go downstairs and ask a server for more."
"Not getting you more than three cups ya drunk!" Yijie barks, getting up and heading for the door.
"Unfillial," his father grumbles again.
Yijie slams the door behind him. "Unfillial." He scoffs. What other son puts up with this shit?
