Because I Wanted To Say

This is the place where I share the tragedy, the happy me, and anything else I may be. Enjoy. Or don't. 20~Boy~Kansas

[treybossa]

Year In A Jar

Seeing all your best moments, your favorite moments from the past 365 days... Worth it.

[extrasad]

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too. 

[martinawrites]

this need to be on everyone’s blog

[sleepybambi]

this makes me think..

[janoskipornhub-deactivated20150]

God bless whoever wrote this.

[ioanaslovesongs]

im crying

[phanscuddles]

I never usually reblog things like this.. but if it saves just one persons life… please take thime to read this even if you think there is no point in living. Please.

[sent-imental]

please please PLEASE reblog this

[pklhh-deactivated20180222]

Never forget that there’s a lot of people loves you

[hopelxss]

!!!!!!!

[digitaldisguise2002]

this needs to be reblogged again.

[bythemoon]

!!! STOP SCROLLING !!! i do not care if this doesn’t “fit” your blogs style,, this thing could save lives, like, real ones, so don’t even think about not reblogging it and

[schuylerpeck]

This morning, there was enough creamer left for one more coffee. Outside, the road had a thin layer of snow and neighbors were warming their engines and shoveling each other’s walkways. This morning, I moved the curtain from the window, and watched the plants embrace the sun. I imagined how nice it must be, to live and breathe light. This morning, the dog finally caught his tail in the living room and slept under the table, waiting for bacon ends.   It would be hard to notice without standing still, and I could have easily just missed it, but this morning, watching the world yawn and stretch, I knew peace.

Schuyler Peck, December 6th (via schuylerpeck)

[treybossa]

What I Simultaneously Love And Hate About Kansas

After all this time in Kansas, I’ve come to appreciate the things that annoyed me when I was younger.

Here’s a bit of insight into Kansas from a Kansan. (:

[i-wildest-dreams]

[i-wildest-dreams]

[callistomist-deactivated2020091]

I decided to create a masterpost that would help you with what you are struggling with. Hopefully any of the links below will help you! Reminder; You’re going to be okay. What you are going through will pass, just remember to breathe. 

————————————————————————————-

Distractions;

Here are some distractions to help keep your mind occupied so you aren’t too focused on your thoughts. 

-Draw something

-This website translates the time into colours.

-Create your own galaxy.

-Play flowing.

-Make a 3D line travel where ever you like. 

-Listen to music.

-Calm.

-Ocean mood, do nothing for two minutes.

Sleep issues; 

- 8 hour sleep music.

-Rainy mood. 

-Meditation.

-Coping with nightmares.

-How to cope with nightmares, 11 steps.

-Calm

-Foods that can affect your sleeping, both positive and negatively. 

 Uncomfortable with silence; 

-Rainy mood.

-10 hours of rain and thunder.

-3 hours of rain and thunder.

-Human heartbeat.

-Rainforest.

-Sound of rain on a tin roof.

-Autumn wind.

-Rain on a tent

-Traffic in the rain.

-Soft traffic. 

-Fan.

-Train.

-Simply noise.

-My noise.

-Rainy cafe.

Anxiety; 

-How to stop worrying. 

-Tips to manage anxiety and stress.

-The 10 best ever anxiety management techniques. 

-Self-help strategies for anxiety. 

-Helping a friend with anxiety. 

-All about worrying.

-8 myths about anxiety. 

Sad, angry and depressed/depression; 

-“I’m always sad”

-Feeling sad.

-Going through trauma.

-“I’m always angry”.

-Anger management. 

-All about anger.

-National helplines and websites.

-Self-help strategies for depression.

-Dealing with depression at work.

-Dealing with depression at school.

Isolation and loneliness; 

-Pets and mental health.

-All about loneliness. 

-“I feel so alone”

-10 more ideas to help with loneliness. 

-How to deal with loneliness.

 Self-harm;

-Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques.

-146 things to do besides self-harm.

-More alternatives to self-harm.

-Self-harm alternatives.

-How to take care of self-harm wounds/injuries.

-Getting rid of scars.  

Addiction; 

-How to help a friend with a drug addiction.

-What is addiction?

-All about alcohol and addiction.

-The facts about drug addiction.

 Eating disorders; 

-Helping a friend with an eating disorder.

-Eating disorder treatments. 

-Support services for eating disorders. 

-Self-help tips with eating disorders.

-Eating disorder recovery. 

-Recovering from an eating disorder. 

-100+ reasons to recover. 

-Understanding and managing eating disorders. 

 Dealing with self-hatred;  

-3 ways to ease self-loathing. 

-How to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.

-Self-hatred resources.

-10 step plan to deal with self-hate. 

 Suicidal; 

-International suicide hotlines (1)  (2)

-Preventing suicide. 

-Reasons to stay alive.

-Dealing with suicidal thoughts and feelings.

-Coping with suicidal ideation.  

 Schizophrenia;

-All about schizophrenia.  

-Helping a person with schizophrenia.  

-Understanding and dealing with schizophrenia.  

-Delusions and hallucinations.  

OCD;

-Managing your OCD at home. 

-Overcoming OCD.

-How to cope with OCD. 

-Strategies for dealing with the anxious moments. 

Borderline personality disorder; 

-Helping someone with BPD. 

-All about personality disorders.

-Treatment for BPD.

Abuse; 

-Healthy relationships VS abusive relationships. 

-Emotional abuse

-Overcoming sexual abuse. 

-Hotlines services. 

-5 ways to escape an abusive relationship. 

-Domestic violence support. 

-Signs of an abusive relationship. 

-What do to if you’re in an abusive relationship. 

-Surviving abuse. 

-What you can do if you’re sexual harassed. 

-Sexual assault support.

-What to do if you’ve been sexually assaulted or abused. 

 Bullying;

-How to stand up against bullying.

-How to protect yourself when it comes to cyber bullying.

-How to help stop people bullying you. 

 Loss and grief; 

-How to cope with a suicide of a loved one.

-Grieving for a stranger. 

-Common reactions to death. 

-Working through grief.

(Other loss and grief)

-Moving away from friends and family. 

-Coping with a breakup.

 Getting help; 

-Seeking help early. 

-All about psychological treatments. 

-Types of help.

-All about age and confidentiality. 

Things you need to remember; 

- Don’t stress about being fixed because you’re not broken.

-Remember to remind yourself of your accomplishments. Tell yourself that you’re proud of yourself, even if you’re not. 

- This is temporary. You won’t always feel like this. 

-You are not alone. 

-You are enough. 

-You are important. 

-You are worth it. 

-You are strong. 

-You are not a failure, 

-Good people exist. 

-Reaching out shows strength. 

-Breathe. 

-Don’t listen to the thoughts that are not helping you. 

-Give yourself credit. 

-Don’t be ashamed of your emotions, for the good or bad ones. 

-Treat yourself the same way as you would treat a good friend. 

-Focus on the things you can change. 

-Let go of toxic people. 

-You don’t need to hide, you’re allowed to feel the way you do. 

-Try not to beat yourself up. 

-Something is always happening, you don’t want to miss out on what’s going to happen next. 

-You are not a bother.

-Your existence is more than your appearance. 

-You are smart. 

-You are loved. 

-You are wanted. 

-You are needed. 

-Better days are coming. 

-Just because your past is dark, doesn’t mean your future isn’t bright. 

-You have more potential than you think. 

- Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth.

Please remember to look after yourself and know that you are more than worth it and you deserve to be happy. Keep smiling butterflies x

[invisiblemusings]

God bless the person who made this

[hollowxgirl-deactivated20160808]

I needed this right now. I needed this and it’s here. Thank you.

[treybossa]

Why You Should Join Your School’s Programming Board: NACA

NACACEN was LIT

Check out my latest article about why joining your school’s programming board is one of the best moves you can make in college.

[treybossa]

The Day I Learned The Importance Of Appreciation

I've been thinking a lot about the important people in my life

Because as a youngin’, I didn’t really share with the important people in my life just how important they were. I don’t want people to wait too long.

[treybossa]

A Student's Response To The Banner At Fort Hays State

How Much Of A Joke Is Rape To You?

[treybossa]

An Open Letter To My Freshman Self On Move-In Day

The first day to the rest of my life

[treybossa]

The All-Important Question: Are You Okay?

It's crazy how much one can be holding back or hiding. Sometimes all it takes is one little question.

[nothingwithoutwords]

Although some days it is the worst pain I have felt, I’m glad to have loved.

Leigh, day 278 (via nothingwithoutwords)

[nativemoonmag]

20 THINGS YOU SHOULD DO EVERYDAY 1. Wake up earlier. Not only does this improve productivity but it also gives you more time to make a good, hearty breakfast. 2. Make your bed. Let’s be real, being welcomed to a tidy bed after a long day at work/school (or a long day in general) is probably the best feeling anyone will ever experience. 3. If you want, spend a little more time on your appearance. Take some time choosing an outfit, applying make up or whatever. Do what helps you boost your confidence and self-esteem. 4. Stay hydrated, folks. Keep a bottle of water with you wherever you go. 5. Stretch everyday or start yoga (or do both, why not?) 6. Create a playlist consisting of songs that make you happy and listen to it. Listen to songs for the mood you want to be in, instead of the mood you are in. 7. Compliment at least one person per day. This could be an acquaintance, co-worker, class mate, stranger, whoever! 8. Use your manners. If someone holds the door for you, lets you go first etc, they did it voluntarily and didn’t have to do it, so a “thank you” wouldn’t hurt. 9. Eat your fruit and vegetables and always choose the healthy version over the junk food. 10. Have a good laugh. Catch up with friends, watch some ‘Parks and Recreation’, go see some stand-up comedy, reminisce about funny moments that have happened to you. You don’t need to be a doctor to know that humour has many benefits. 11. Be optimistic. Always look at the positives. There’s no point on focusing on the negatives because that isn’t going to help anyones mood at all. 12. Exercise. It doesn’t have to be anything to intense. A run around the block, a walk with your dog or even a ‘Just Dance’ session will do the job.  13.Bring a book/magazine or collect the daily newspaper with you. Spend you spare time reading. 14. Try and learn something new everyday. This can either be an interesting fact you saw online or a new skill someone taught you. 15. Help others when you are able to. Help your classmates with school work or offer to help you struggling neighbour lift those heavy objects. 16. Stop procrastinating. No matter how unmotivated you are to, push yourself and complete what you need to complete. Do what you gotta do. You know you’ll love yourself for doing it. 17. Drink some tea, because that stuff is goooooood (and also beneficial). 18.Make time to do things that help you relax, whether that’s painting, having baths, doing you nails or going for a run. 19. Don’t dwell on your mistakes, but instead grow and learn from them. 20. And lastly, be kind to yourself. If you love who you are, everyone else will

Chloe for Native Moon Magazine  (via uncloudly)

[estherliv]

  i. i never fucking loved you. i told you i did, told you i did so much and i never meant it. told you i’d die without you / didn’t know what to do without you / couldn’t live without you. i lied through my teeth. gritted teeth, red lips, & me, lying to you. making you feel good. me, leaving. making you feel so, so bad.

  ii. i loved seeing you break like that. so willing, so pretty – so desperate to fall in love. so i turned myself pretty for you / nice for you / perfect for you. and then i cracked your spine. sticky, wet tear trails on your rosebud cheeks, gasps as your heart shattered. i never loved you but seeing you wrecked, torn in half? perfect.

  iii. here is the truth: i am a heartless murderer and i get off to destruction. you, wondering: why? asking, don’t you miss me? begging, please? a ballet dancer, spinning around in this web of lies. this web of i love yous. the truth hurts, doesn’t it? here, listen closely, let me whisper this in your ear: i never loved you, but there, when you were lying on the bathroom floor, sobbing—there, i almost did.

CONFESSIONS, by esther liv

[sriou]

[sunkissedandrosy]