Fooling The Toms

[troubledp0tatoe]

My brother: *Driving in silence*

Me:

My brother:

Me: “My sibling in crispiness is much more inclusive than ‘my brother in Christ’. You know… since all men are cremated equal.”

[troubledp0tatoe]

My dog is trained to retrieve things. So that’s why she was running through the hotel room with an (unopened) tampon in her mouth. Also I was throwing them at my sister.

[snydog17]

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

[snydog17]

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

[troubledp0tatoe]

I looked my father straight in the eyes and told him his conclusion was inconsequential.

[troubledp0tatoe]

Shoutout to the Walmart employee that helped me find my mommy because I got lost and had a panic attack.

[veryberryskye]

yeah i like to give my blessing to the most pathetic looking weak little knight at the tournament. she can’t even look me in the eye when i give her my flower and she stutters out that she’ll do her best or something of the like. i think its funny when she has to cry and beg my forgiveness and i get to say “such a shame, i suppose my hand in marriage will have to go to someone else…” and then i get to hear her whimper like a dog. ive done this like 6 times alrea-

did she just win.

[the-stew-goblin]

I shall prepare a stew for the wedding! Extra salt!

[veryberryskye]

wait wait wait stew goblin wait

[peachdelta]

get ready for the wedding

[kitsuneharmony]

one year into the marriage

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

I always forget there are maga people on tumblr, this doesn’t feel like a website you’d find them on, so to keep them away:

Reblog if your blog is a maga free zone because if it wasn’t clear enough fuck ice, fuck maga, fuck Trump, Fuck Rowling, and fuck all the other bigots I missed

[parkayquarts]

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

[hobohobgoblim]

[linecoveredinjellyfish]

i am some sort of fey creature and my cat is the human who i have arbitrarily decided is my favorite human.

[linecoveredinjellyfish]

i live, to him, an unfathomably long life

i have access to powers and locations that he cannot access independently; he needs my help to navigate the world i've brought him to

i simply found him outside and abducted him one day

there are many cats in the world, but this one is the best and my most favorite. why? because he was available to abduct that morning and for very little other reason.

i have a much greater understanding of this world than him, but he has unshakable confidence in his ability to figure it out and i find that really cute

the power dynamic is fundamentally unbalanced, but i let him have a little audacity. a little combativeness and sass. as a treat.

some humans are needlessly cruel to cats or take them in for a short time before neglecting or abandoning them. but i have chosen to love and guard this one with my life. because i think he's neat.

he is very well-treated and has pretty much everything he could possibly want or need, but he is my prisoner.

[earhartsease]

[oliverr-gardenn]

fuck hussle culture, the toad to success is to sleep well, eat well and have fun

[oliverr-gardenn]

i meant road. road to success

[jellycreature]

Reblog the Toad of Success to sleep well, eat well, and have fun

[troubledp0tatoe]

Rebloging because I would totally use these coins

[blue-hail]

What POSSIBLE REASON could Travis Moore have for drawing Clark like that

Tits out and everything

[dc-comics-heritage-posts]

dc comics heritage post

[asteroidtroglodyte]

His tits cast shadows

[princesssokphanny]

A once-in-a-lifetime shot — the moon perfectly framed by a rainbow. Caught at just the right time. 🌈 🌕

[dreaming-demonic]

Yeah neopronouns arent a new fangled concept gen z came up with btw

[roguedeer]

Being asexual and racist is embarassing as fuck. Being racist at all is obviously embarassing as fuck but the amount of racism and especially antiblackness i have been seeing from asexuals recently is obscene.

One of the only asexual activists is Yasmin Benoit, a Black woman. She has raised so much awareness for the community. She was the first asexual person to lead Pride in London, she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike movement and is THE leading voice for the community.

And you all will celebrate international asexuality day on April 6th but we wouldn't even have that if she hadn't cofounded it.

Edit: why are you all too scared to repost this. Cmon. Be vocal about being against racism

[troubledp0tatoe]

I love myself and I didn’t have my glasses on and I’m tired and I mistook the Ao3 logo for the communist one thing.

[theconcealedweapon]

"You'll put politics over family?"

You're damn right I will.

I have a transgender sister. Another one of my sisters has been harassing her with Bible verses and telling her that she's going to hell.

She's clearly willing to put politics over family. So why the hell shouldn't I?