abysmal dogshit

[skrotchevo]

[legalizegay]

Must watch

[capacity]

This could save the world you know

[beboots]

[segamascott]

[tpwrtrmnky]

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

[uncomfortablecliche]

men are supposed to have long hair or else they cant feel emotions

[mr-deep-downer]

you’re genuinely not a good person

[uncomfortablecliche]

you might seem upset with me but really you are not angry just your only emotion is bald

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm sorry this is such a gross thing to start a discussion on, but my editor underlined me describing human urine as 'sickly sweet smelling' and said "piss doesn't smell like that." BUT IT DOES! not talking about my own personal piss, but when you're walking around downtown and you pass a piss alley?????? it's very distinctive.

and then I brought this up with my friends, and their answer was "all the alley pissers in Toronto must have diabetes." NO! this is the universal human piss smell!

is this like how some people can smell ants? I have a unique molecule in my nose that lets me experience the full spectrum of human piss?

[pangur-and-grim]

I’m sorry

[itmeansalot]

I'm starting to think it's not the beer that makes you drunk, but rather the can itself

[mangonetics]

"why was the ending so rushed it was so good up until the ending" the answer is the same every time no matter the media you're talking about: the author is a bee and had to go back to the hive to defend the queen

[fagstaynight]

Guy who is roommates with among us: Hey man thanks for doing all your tasks

Among us: No problem

[i-am-the-oyster]

[aflo]

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

[cogentranting]

Observed today:

Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.

Girl 1: can it die?

Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.

[thagomizersshow]

Some woodpeckers make dainty little holes that barely damage the tree.

On the other hand, pileated woodpeckers

[learnmesomeshit-blog]

Your tree has been visited by the Flying Tree Doctor and diagnosed with Infested. He has removed the Unauthorized Fucking Thing. Praise be to Flying Tree Doctor.

[castigatedcast]

soon I will be euthanized due to my various behavioral issues and also they just don’t like me

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[shadow-von-vamp]

reblogging a post that says “do it scared” vs actually doing it scared

[tractorgoth]

[jordanbolton]

To the Person Who Asked If I Was OK

Pre-order my new book here