Kiss Me You Animal

I try (and fail) to be funny. I love you all and my ask is always open if anyone wants to talk. 26 She/Her Pronouns bisexual

[undeadsucker]

would survive "what's your favourite scary movie" because id answer with a 20 minute question. under what criteria does one pick a favourite scary movie. do i get one per sub-genre or do i have to pick just one and explain myself. how far do we even stretch "horror". is silence of the lambs horror? i could say ive gotten similar levels of raw enjoyment out of midsommar as i did out of texas chainsaw massacre 2. if i pick one that's an "elevated horror", people might think im some kind of haughty snob, but if i pick a low budget campfest, you're going to think im stupid for enjoying low brow stuff. so on what do i base my decision. what IS my favourite scary movie? the one that makes me think about it the hardest, the one that jumpscared me the most times, the one i laughed at the most, the one that was the most poignant, the one i jerked it to,

[undeadsucker]

[c3rvida3]

Don't add speech bubble Ghostface under my tags, man. I'm not the killer, you can trust me. I just wanna ask you regular jerk off questions. I mean regular questions.

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

i’ve been crying laughing over this for the past 5 minutes

[megidonitram]

This honestly reminds me of a show on the history channel where they spent like 25 minutes wondering how the sides of all the pyramids seemed to be perfectly divisible by pi or something, and people where theorizing about aliens and some lost form of mathematics, but then at the end they interviewed a tiered looking paleontologist and he was just like “maybe they just used a wheel to do all their measurements.” and the whole show just immediately collapsed.

[hilltop-dolmen]

can you imagine being so far up your own ass with conspiracy theories that you forget about circles

[whitepeopletwitter]

[homopower]

[unclefather]

[reginaeinferos]

Nothing is going to change. Americans love their guns more than they love people and after Sandy Hook we decided that killing over 20 children was acceptable and not outrageous enough to make reasonable restrictions on guns. This is America, a country that has been around for 200 years, a superpower, a 1st world nation, and one of the wealthiest countries on the planet and we refuse to protect our own people. We respect guns more than we respect the lives of people. 

[therevenantrising-deactivated20]

What specific gun control measures would you propose and how would they directly and effectively make society safer?

[reginaeinferos]

Absolutely get rid of all AR-15′s and the like.

Intense background and criminal background checks and anything violent automatically disqualifies you.

Make getting a gun/gun permit more like getting a driver’s license:

permit to learn

includes an exam with 18 or more questions on the policies, laws, and etc of guns and gun ownership

if you get more than 8 questions incorrect you must retake it.

30 hours of practical experience at a gun range with a licensed teacher

Must take a 5 hour class on the dangers of guns and how to use them safely which will then yield you a certificate that grants you to take the practical exam and lasts for one year. If you don’t gain the license within the allotted year you must retake the class.

A practical exam with a licensed instructor who will grade you on various skills. If you pass you may be granted a permit on the weapon of your choice, the exams may differ on the type of firearm you want.

Follow the Japanese model where you must have two gun safes in different areas of the house, one to store the gun and one to store the bullets and you must provide the police with information on where those safes are.

No concealed carry and only handguns may be allowed to be out in public.

If transporting a weapon, it must be in the trunk of the vehicle, in a bag or some other case, safety on and unloaded and may not leave the vehicle until you are at the destination.

If you’re a hunter or some other gun hobbyist that requires a functional weapon other than a handgun then the gun must stay on the premises, whether that is a gun range or the Fish and Wildlife facility.

If you live in a rural area where police (and people, for that matter) are few and far between, something akin to a deer hunting rifle should provide plenty of protection from predators and poachers, you still have to follow the aforementioned steps.

This doesn’t cover everything but I think it’s a good place to start.

[therevenantrising-deactivated20]

Can you show me evidence that this would directly and effectively create a safer society?

[reginaeinferos]

[oh-snap-pro-choice]

I have never laughed so hard at a gun law post. Like seriously, the evidence is in fucking reality. The proposed restrictions are just fucking logic.

[deegeeak]

For the most part I agree with these.  However I would respectfully ask, how would you take into accounts areas where having a gun is valid for self-protection, such as very rural areas in Alaska?  And how does keeping the gun only the premise allow for hunting (for example, I don’t hunt in my apartment, but several thousand miles away from my house)?

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I can answer that one. I lived in Australia for eight years. If you lived in an area where you legitimately needed a gun to protect yourself or your property (for example, farmers in rural areas who had to deal with potentially dangerous animals), you could apply for a special permit. If an investigation confirmed that your need for a gun was legitimate, you would be given permission to buy a hunting rifle. But the permit had to be renewed, so if you sold the farm or otherwise no longer needed the gun, you would have to hand it back in.  (The government would reimburse you for it.)

It was simple, effective, and meant that the only guns in civilian hands were on farms a fuckmillion miles away from the cities and were actually being used for constructive purposes, not just collecting dust in a closet, waiting for some curious five year old to find them and blow their own heads off.

As for hunting weapons: you don’t bring them into the city. You keep them in a storage locker close to the hunting reserve.

[dr-jekyl]

People here own guns.  They just have to have a valid reason to do so, be trained to use them, and must store and transport them safely. 

The other day a rifle was discharged in my street.  It was used by a volunteer wildlife rescue worker to euthanise a badly injured kangaroo.  He kept it in a locked case in his truck until he determined there was no way to save the animal.  He retrieved it, fired it once, returned it to its case and then phoned the local police department to let them know that he had discharged a firearm and why he’d done so, because it’s a semi-rural area and most people are like me.  It was the first time, in my 20+ years of living in Australia, that I’ve ever seen a gun fired for anything other than practice.

The gun was there to do a very specific job.  And when that job was done, it was put away.  Zero fuss

[ichorandpride]

Another prime example of a place with strict gun controls that has only had eight mass shootings in the last 20 years:

[monstrousturtless]

Can confirm: I had my firearms license. I had to do a 2-day class where we covered safety and laws, and then we had to do a written test. I also had to fill out paperwork and have it signed by guarantors (similar to getting a passport).

And that’s not even to OWN a gun, that’s just to have a license. If I recall correctly, you still can’t carry a handgun around on you all higgedly-piggedly just because you have a license. You have to have a legal job that requires a reason for carrying it, otherwise it’s illegal.  

[reginaeinferos]

Gun control works. Dozens of countries have it and most of them have had less than 10 mass shootings in the past 20 years. In the US, we’ve had over 20 mass shootings in the last 10 months.

[divineforests]

The more times I see this post, the better it gets. These are real statistics, yet we still have people denying that this works. OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES AMERICA

[mattoyaki-deactivated20250509]

[wtfisgoingonews]

Landlords are something else

[thehotgirlproject]

Doxx them!

[gayerluke]

there’s a lot to unpack here

[gayerluke]

👀

[takkezooi-deactivated20200726]

“I just know how Paul does it”

[silverhawk]

thinking about life & its twists and turns today……a lot for an armadillo to deal with but i’ll be okay………….

[bunnykicksyou]

In case anyone was worried about this little guy

[rithmalfortele]

Thank you, I was :D

[regularlesbian]

armadillo, born and raised in the desert for years without seeing a large body of water: *sees a pool* ohhhhh fuck yeag im goin in that big puddle baby

[literallysame]

oh my god

[shoe-sheriff]

They killed him

[cuisses-de-tonnerre]

he is no longer here, he is sitting on the comfort couch

[stream]

Men in Black (1997) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Just saw an ad for a portable blender that you charge like a phone and it was like “take it anywhere!” and showed someone using it on a dark plane and let me tell you if I were on an overnight flight and the lady two rows up just got her baby to sleep and the flight attendants are all whispering and the person next to me pulled out a fucking BLENDER Id go absolutely fucking apeshit

[miloyiannopoulos]

🕉.

[spooky-spaghetties]

who is this… who is this question directed to? People who have some actual dietary reason to avoid fruit? Who looks at a fruit plate and goes “nuh-uh, not unless I have a week and a 20k cash prize on the line.” Is the fruit platter actually the size of a four door sedan?? Has it been poisoned? Who made this??

[hyperactivity]

@atissi

[iguanamouth]

this mug i bought has a cat sitting at the bottom

goodbye kitty

[dutchster]

[tayisoutofthewoods]

I’M SO MAD

[corporationsarepeople]

@amillennialdog on twitter: The DHS posted a 14-word headline that started with “we must secure” holy absolute fuck

[clayandsorcery]

With a link to the site. Can confirm: https://www.dhs.gov/news/2018/02/15/we-must-secure-border-and-build-wall-make-america-safe-again

[soul-hammered]

update: so at least one guy in the higher up dhs echelons has been outed as a white supremacist lmao

[riotlion]

I hate this fucking country

[gahdamnpunk]

Try “Employers pay workers bonuses for being white” 🙃

[doctorwhobastank]

[4gifs]

[maruxee]

I’M DEAD

[prokopetz]

Fun fact: if you know your feline body language, you’ll notice that the lynx is deferring to the housecat. As far as these two are concerned, the housecat is the higher-ranking cat.

[thecarvingwitch]

OH MY GOSH

[icarus-in-fl1ght-deactivated202]

It’s because the cat is that lynx’s mom

[softfairies]

[frish-prence]

BIG STRONG DAUGHTER