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Book Review: A Lifelong Passion: The Letters of Nicholas and Alexandra: Their Own Story

**After my post on 11/8, all future reviews will be available at tsundokuholic.wordpress.com**

Overview: A Lifelong Passion: The Letters of Nicholas and Alexandra: Their Own Story

If you’ve been reading my blog religiously, you already have a good idea of my interest in history, namely the history of royal families. I’ve mentioned my enduring love for the movie Anastasia before, thanks to the Don Bluth film of the same name. As a college student and history major I would prowl the history stacks for books about a select few royals: the Tudors, the Romanovs, and Marie Antoinette. I know, I should try out some less overexposed royals, but the heart wants what it wants and all that. I picked up A Lifelong Passion: The Letters of Nicholas and Alexandra: Their Own Story at the library, tucked myself into one the study nooks on the side of the library, and read the first few chapters as flakes of snow lazily drifted past the window. Damn, I wanna go back to college…

As you can probably guess, this book is ENORMOUS and I couldn’t justify checking it out of the library because it would inevitably distract me from my studies, so I wasn’t able to finish it. I decided to give it another go while I ride this wave of reignited interest in royal history. Letters, diary entries, and memoir excerpts tell the story of Nicky and Alix’s romance, from their first meeting at the respective ages of 16 and 12 at Alix’s older sister’s wedding to their deaths. As they reach young adulthood, the love between the two grows so fervently that after much hand-wringing, Alix decides to convert from Protestantism to Russian Orthodoxy in order to be with her beloved Nicky. The couple’s happiness in their betrothal is marked by tragedy when Nicky’s father, Tsar Alexander III, dies suddenly and catapults his unprepared and reluctant son onto the Russian throne.

Alix expected to have months to learn the Russian language and court culture but is instead introduced to Russian society as the full-fledged tsarina. As if her lack of knowledge of the Russian court isn’t enough to make the public critical of their new tsarina, her German background is often as cited as a reason to find her untrustworthy. Nicky’s initial reluctance at being tsar never fades, and he proves to be particularly ill-fitted to rule the largest country in the world, especially during a period of dissatisfaction and revolution. Meanwhile, Alix’s desperation to keep her son alive despite his hemophilia leads her to accept divisive religious figures into her intimate circle, inviting speculation into the tsar and tsarina’s relationship and priorities. Nicky’s ineptitude and Alix’s religious fervor wind up leading them to their doom, but despite the upheaval and uncertainty one thing can definitively be said in their favor: Nicky and Alix loved family life.

Through memoir and diary excerpts and letters between the couple, their family members, friends, advisors, and even their assassins, we see how the Romanovs fell so spectacularly and tragically.

My Thoughts

Despite being a nonfictional book of primary sources, A Lifelong Passion isn’t a difficult read for those who aren’t history buffs. Details about the politics going on at the time, which can often bog down a book about history, aren’t delved into in too much detail. For the casual history fan, this book humanizes historical figures and makes their story accessible. The story of the last days of the Romanov dynasty is told from a variety of viewpoints across many countries. Nicky corresponds with his relations, King George V of England and Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany, who give him advice about ruling a country. Alix’s granny, Queen Victoria, also sends well-wishes to the couple. Nicky’s sister Xenia and his mother Marie worry about the lack of a male heir before the birth of Alexei and Alix worries in her diary about her duty as the Tsarina. When Nicky is off leading troops during World War I, Alix writes about their little family’s volunteer work and urges Nicky to be more assertive.

A Lifelong Passion turns these figureheads into tangible people. You see Alix’s journey from a shy young princess to a beleaguered Tsarina, worn down by years of pregnancy followed by constant worry about her hemophiliac son. You see Nicky grapple with his responsibilities as Tsar and his true desire to be a simple family man. His family’s opinions morph from cautious optimism to downright disappointment and dismay as the years pass until Nicky finally abdicates and the family is forced into exile, bringing an end to the last vestiges of carefree family life. Accounts of the murders of Rasputin and the Imperial family are chilling, and a far cry from the grand balls and weddings that occupy the first few chapters. I found this peek behind the curtain more interesting and engaging than the usual nonfiction history book, and finished it with a greater understanding of the motivations of Nicky and his family.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Romanov children

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Book Review: Katherine of Aragon: The True Queen

**After my post on 11/8, all future reviews will be available at tsundokuholic.wordpress.com**

Overview: Katherine of Aragon: The True Queen

The wives of Henry VIII intrigue me because their story is a mix of salacious scandal, religious upheaval, politics of monarchy, and familial betrayal. It’s the kind of history that has something that appeals to everyone. In high school I found an old book about Katherine of Aragon in my school’s library and picked it up thinking it would probably be boring, but was astounded as I gobbled up the story of the teenaged Spanish princess crossing an ocean to marry into the English royal family, only to have her young husband keel over and die only months into their marriage. This experience ignited my interest in Henry and his wives and through the years I’ve read fictional and nonfictional accounts of their story. Alison Weir has written nonfiction novels about the Tudors for years, so the prospect of a series of fictional accounts of Henry’s wives written by Weir sounded like absolute perfection.

Katherine of Aragon: The True Queen begins with Katherine’s trip across turbulent seas to an English fiancé she has never met. Years of uncertainty surrounding the young couple’s betrothal make it hard for Katherine to believe she’s finally on her way to becoming Prince Arthur’s bride. Her cautious joy falters when she meets the sickly prince, and fades when, despite his assurance that he’ll be better soon, her new husband’s health continues to deteriorate. Arthur can’t even consummate their marriage due to his poor health and soon dies, leaving Katherine in limbo in the English court.

Henry VII, Katherine’s father-in-law, lives up to his reputation as a miser, keeping Katherine in near poverty while trying to weasel away her dowry. Katherine and the new heir, Henry, are presumed to be betrothed but their situation is never formally confirmed. Years pass and Katherine deals with members of her household who seem to have competing motives and agendas, leaving her with few trusted friends. After years of suffering and feeling like she’s wasting away into spinsterhood, Henry VIII finally succeeds his father and declares his love for Katherine. The young couple weds and lives in marital bliss.

Of course, we know this bliss doesn’t last as Katherine’s pregnancies all end in miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, and finally, a daughter named Mary. The royal couple’s hope for an heir gradually fades until Henry’s realization that Katherine can no longer bear children pushes his already-wandering eye even further away. Henry’s determination to continue the Tudor line will change the lives of both his wife and his mistress, as well as all of England and Christianity.

My Thoughts

Having read both fictional and nonfictional accounts of Katherine of Aragon’s life, I was interested to see how Weir would meld the two. The early chapters disappointed me because it read more like a dry nonfictional account than anything else. Weir stated that she pulled dialogue directly from letters between the historical figures in the book, and it seemed like she depended too much on these primary sources for the first section of the book. I thought about giving up but kept reading, and the divide between fiction and nonfiction became more blurred as Katherine’s story progressed.

You really feel for Katherine, who wanted nothing more than to please her loved ones, raise children, and rule over a new Camelot. Her pure intentions are met with disappointment time and time again in an era that only valued women as decorative arm pieces and brood mares. It makes you wonder what might have happened if Henry had been willing to name their daughter Mary as his heir. I mean, in the end, she sits the throne for a few years anyway. Maybe Mary’s reign wouldn’t have been quite as bloody if she hadn’t had her life threatened and her relationship with her father ruined by her stepmother Anne Boleyn.

If you like to read tawdry historical romance, this veers too much towards the nonfiction for you. If you’re looking for a fictionalized account of the Tudors that sticks to historical fact as much as possible, this is perfect for you. I can’t wait for the next book to tell us Anne Boleyn’s side of the story.

Rating: 4 out of 5 pomegranates

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Book Review: Where'd You Go, Bernadette?

Overview: Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

Bernadette Fox hates Seattle. It’s always dreary, full of hipsters, and populated by helicopter moms who seem to have nothing better to do than get on Bernadette’s nerves. She hates leaving her run-down historical home, and most social interactions send her into an anxious tizzy. Bernadette’s only motivation to step outside her comfort zone is her beloved teenaged daughter Bee. Bee is about to graduate middle school with exemplary grades and plans to complete her high school education at the same boarding school Bernadette attended. As a reward for her good grades, Bee has been promised a trip to Antarctica. Bernadette must grapple with her anxiety about going on the trip, finding motivation in her desire to fulfill Bee’s wishes. However, Bernadette’s ongoing fight with a neighbor, her dependency on a shady personal assistant in India, her husband Elgin’s ever-increasing distance from the family, and her memories of the incident that abruptly put an end to her career as a celebrated architect push Bernadette past the point of no return, and she disappears before the family trip.

My Thoughts

I’ve been wanting to read Where’d You Go, Bernadette since it was first released in 2012, but it was always impossible to find a copy at the library. It was such a treat to finally read it. Bernadette’s story is told mainly through a collection of e-mails, letters, interviews, and notices compiled by Bee when Bernadette goes missing. Bee fills in the missing pieces of the story throughout the novel. The characters are so well-developed you get a sense of their personalities from the first time they appear. Bernadette’s perfectionist busy-body neighbor is That Mom we all know who lords over the PTA because she has nothing else going on in her life. Elgin is the tech-genius husband who buries himself in his work to avoid his quirky and increasingly out-of-touch-with-reality wife. Bee, wise beyond her years, fervently loves her imperfect mother and weathers the twists and turns in her family life with determination and hope.

While the novel deals with mental illness born out of trauma, it never feels heavy. Semple’s use of satiric humor keeps the mood light. The book is a slice of life, a mystery, an adventure, and a study of social interactions amongst upper-middle class parents all in one, and it works so well.

Rating: 4 out of 5 tickets to Antarctica

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Book Review: Rebel Bully Geek Pariah

Overview: Rebel Bully Geek Pariah

Rebel Bully Geek Pariah brings together high school classmates who would never be seen together at school. Sam, the Pariah, has become very good at being invisible, which has been necessary due to bullying she’s endured over the scars on her head. Andi, former Barbie, current Rebel, drags Sam along with her to a party after shoplifting an item Sam was trying to buy back from a pawn shop. At the party, they run into Jock York and Geek Boston, brothers who struggle with their differing popularities and pressure from their parents.

While Sam thinks of ways to steal her mother’s prized violin back from Andi, the police arrive to bust up the party. As the four classmates try to escape, things go horribly wrong and they’re forced to flee together. While spending the night trying to decide their next move, the four distressed teens open up to each other about their deepest darkest fears.

My Thoughts

I originally heard of this book when it was being compared to The Breakfast Club. It certainly has a similar plot of high school kids from different social strata bonding under duress, but it didn’t quite have the same magic. Maybe when TBC came out, high school stereotypes hadn’t yet proliferated YA media as it has now, but all the characters in Rebel Bully Geek Pariah seemed like the usual boring stereotypes. Lange tried to give them some more deep, traumatic backgrounds, which came off as desperate and melodramatic. It’s like we’ve gotten to the point where even twists on teen stereotypes have become stereotypes in and of themselves.

I expected to be on the edge of my seat as the teens try to evade danger, but I never got that feeling of suspense and dread. Likewise, I found the teens opening up to each other and forming bonds to be super cheesy instead of heartwarming. The book lacked actual depth which made it hard to invest in. It’s an easy read, but seems better suited for 7th/8th grade than older YA readers.

Rating: 3 out of 5 violins

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Book Review: My Holiday in North Korea

Overview: My Holiday in North Korea

When you look at your list of countries you want to travel to, North Korea isn’t a country that usually comes to mind. Wendy Simmons felt differently, and luckily shares her vacation with us in My Holiday in North Korea: The Funniest/Worst Place on Earth. Despite her knowledge of the corruption and straight-up craziness of North Korea, Simmons enters the country with positive expectations. She’s heard that she won’t get a scrap of truth out of any citizen, but still hopes to make some human connections. Near the end of her trip, the ebullient and gutsy Simmons became depressed and unmotivated. After receiving non-answers to her questions, touring suspiciously clean and empty amusement parks/factories/parks, and being told repeatedly how awful America is, her suspension of disbelief imploded.

My Thoughts

Many of us will never get the chance to vacation in North Korea. This book may be as close as any of us get. Simmons doesn’t write her book as a study of the political, cultural, and social intricacies of North Korea. The book is written as a regular travel journal. Simmons hilariously describes what it’s like being in a country that force-feeds you lies, expecting you to nod along with them in the ruse. Her tour guides and handlers unabashedly tell her how all of North Korea’s problems are America’s fault, and how America is the worst country in the world, despite being fully aware that she is American. North Korea is touted as the greatest country in the world, and Simmons has to question how much the citizens actually believe this when every single thing about their lives is so depressing. Even a museum of the great “treasures” of North Korea looks like an empty pawn shop.

Despite the obvious awkwardness of being an American traveling in North Korea, Simmons takes everything in. She notices when people give her death stares. She also notices when certain people seem to be silently calling out to her with their eyes. Even children, who Simmons says are unfailingly representative of their countries because of their lack of composure, are well trained to avoid foreigners and be on their best behavior. Instead of feeling lifted up by her visit to a school, she leaves with a sense of unease. Every classroom she entered only came to life once she entered, with children performing well-rehearsed plays of being in “music class” (seemingly all girls must play the accordion) or “calligraphy class”. Touring empty amusement parks and factories (“Oh, it’s empty because everyone only comes here at a certain time!”) was something she expected and could stomach, but witnessing the effects of dictatorship on children proved to finally break Simmons.

The book contains pictures of the sights and people that Simmons was expressly allowed to photograph, allowing a glimpse at what Simmons witnessed. Alice in Wonderland quotes precede each chapter, perfectly alluding to the absurdity of North Korea. While Simmons’ trip left her with the impression that North Korea is the worst place on Earth, her ability to find the humor in the horrible makes My Holiday in North Korea an eye-opening yet light read.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Great Leaders

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Book Review: Girls on Fire

Overview: Girls on Fire

In November 1991, good-but-boring Hannah Dexter undergoes a transformation. After the suicide of football star Craig Ellison, Hannah locks eyes with new girl Lacey Champlain during the school mandated morning silent prayer. Hannah notices mysterious and rebellious Lacey staring at her and when their eyes meet, Lacey flips off the heavens. Hannah mimicks Lacey’s action, already compelled to please this girl.

The two become fast friends after Lacey helps Hannah get revenge on high school goddess and Craig’s girlfriend, Nikki, who humiliated Hannah during gym class. Lacey reshapes Hannah in her image, renaming her “Dex”, swathing Hannah in grunge clothes, and introducing Hannah to drugs, booze, and boys. Hannah’s former-musician dad takes to Cobain-obsessed Lacey easily, but Hannah’s mother senses Lacey’s more sinister, dark influence.

As the girls’ friendship intensifies, Hannah’s behavior spirals out of control. Despite the warnings of her parents and peers, Hannah is steadfastly loyal to Lacey. One night changes everything, and the obsessive friendship between the girls put them on a path they’re powerless to resist.

My Thoughts

Female friendships during adolescence are a strange thing. We can be brutally mean to each other, but don’t want anyone else mistreating our friends. When our best friends ditch us for boys thanks to the hormone surge of puberty, we feel abandoned. Friendships can often become toxic during this tender and turbulent time in our lives. Robin Wasserman captures an extreme version of this with Lacey and Hannah.

Hannah is so easily manipulated by Lacey because she’s thrilled to finally have someone value her. As for Lacey’s intentions, we can question whether or not they were pure. Did she just want a friend who wasn’t a cookie cutter suburban clone to distract her from her abusive home life? Or did she want to see how far she could corrupt the class nobody? I could never get a grip on Lacey’s intentions, even up to the final word.

Wasserman uses the Satanic cult panic of the 80s/90s as both a front for Lacey to hide behind and to show the panic that ensues when young women rebel.  Craig’s death is attached to Satanism when there’s no evidence of him being involved in cults. In the months following his suicide, as Lacey and Hannah’s friendship evolves, the town becomes increasingly frenzied with accusations of Satanism. As Hannah asserts herself as something other than a doormat, only Hannah’s father and Lacey encourage her to pursue her new identity.

As with the actual Satanic panic, Lacey’s less a Satanist and more a very troubled teen who likes making people feel uncomfortable. The book manages to be very dark even without the Satanism aspect. Lacey and Hannah have obvious demons as the outcasts at school, but the cool kids are just as messed up. It may make you feel like taking a long, hot, exfoliating shower after you read it.

Rating: 5 out of 5 Nirvana albums

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Book Review: A Court of Mist and Fury

Overview: A Court of Mist and Fury

**Warning: This post will contain minor spoiler about the plot of this book so if you want to go in blind, stop reading now!**

Three months after defeating Amarantha and being reborn as High Fae while Under the Mountain, Feyre suffers in the Spring Court. Guilt over the two Fae she killed during Amarantha’s trials still haunts Feyre. She no longer finds joy in painting, and remains trapped inside Tamlin’s manse, flanked by guards at all times. Tamlin still fears for Feyre’s safety as Prythian emerges from fifty years of tyranny under Amarantha. He believes that keeping her sequestered under surveillance will keep her safe but all Feyre wants is space. Instead, she spends her days planning her and Tamlin’s upcoming wedding with Ianthe, a High Priestess. Feyre also dreads Rhysand finally beginning her weekly visit to the Night Court as per their agreement. She thinks it’s odd that three months have passed without him arriving to claim his prize, but assumes he’s probably as busy as every other High Lord.

Feyre’s cabin fever worsens and she finally appeals to Lucien for help. If anyone can persuade Tamlin to loosen his reins over Feyre’s freedom, it’s his best friend. When he fails, Feyre is devastated. Her delight in the Spring Court and excitement over her wedding are crushed by her frequent nightmares and depression. She’s so miserable that as she walks down the aisle, she makes a silent appeal for help to get her out of the wedding. Rhysand promptly appears for Feyre’s weekly visit to his court and whisks her away.

Feyre is distraught that she’s at the Night Court, but secretly relieved that the wedding was halted. Rhys lets Feyre know that he expects her to learn to read and to mentally block his ability to access her inner thoughts. Feyre is hesitant at first, but learns quickly as she continues her monthly visits to Rhys. He fills her in on a new threat edging in on Prythian, ensuring war is imminent. Feyre begs Tamlin to allow her to help him in his missions but he refuses. Feyre is torn between the freedom of the Night Court and the oppression of the Spring Court. She abhors Rhys but still tries to remember why she fell in love with Tamlin. Feyre must find her way out of the aftermath of being Made and discover her true destiny.

My Thoughts

When I started both A Court of Thorns and Roses and A Court of Mist and Fury, I asked myself “Why are you reading this?” After a few chapters, I tore through both books. They’re soapy, dramatic, and prone to descriptions I find annoying like “buttery sunlight”, or unnecessarily complicated and recently overused cheesy terms like “sluice” and “slake” (seriously, those are my pet peeve words). Some of the plot points are ridiculous, like illiterate Feyre going from only knowing the letters of the alphabet to reading books in one month, with practice consisting of reading one sentence a day. Ridiculous. So why, oh, why do I love these books???

During the first few chapters, I was immediately bored because I assumed this would follow the typical Predictable YA Love Triangle map. I mean, there is another book left so who knows, but this totally turned that trope on its head. My main pet peeve with YA is you always know who the character is going to end up with. Of course Bella would wind up with Edward. There really wasn’t a threat of Jacob coming between them and Bella ignored Edward’s faults and blames his crappy behavior on herself.She realizes that Tamlin isn’t as perfect as she thought.

Feyre is the opposite. She realizes that Tamlin isn’t as perfect as she thought. Feyre realizes the relationship needs work and that she needs space when Tamlin resists respecting her as an individual. She doesn’t make her choices easily, but knows when to fight for herself. Finally, a feminist YA character who recognizes when her love interest is treating her poorly!

I also love that this book dealt with Feyre’s PTSD and depression. Many YA books won’t really get into that unless they’re specifically about PTSD. Realistic portrayals of PTSD in YA fantasy books aren’t something you come across very often. Feyre’s actions haunt her to the point where she has nightmares so terrifying she wakes up to vomit every night. She no longer enjoys her favorite hobby, painting. Rhys notes her gaunt appearance when he brings her to the Night Court for the first time. It might help teens going through similar mental illnesses realize they aren’t alone and that they deserve help.

I also loved the plot of this book. Feyre goes on quests and adventures that reminded me a little bit of Harry Potter. She has to test out her newfound Fae abilities in order to find relics to vanquish evil. You can’t get more Harry Potter than that. I also loved how her friendships with Rhys and his Inner Circle develop as she overcomes each obstacle. The world building was gorgeous and meticulous, the battle scenes horrid and gory. And of course the erotic scenes were as titillating as the previous book, perhaps even more so. Feyre is faced with many difficult decisions during an especially trying time of her life, and must draw on her own strength and the support of others to finally break free. Despite the bits I wasn’t a fan of, the rest of book was so superb it earned this rating.

Rating: 5 out of 5 heirloom rings

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Book Review: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Overview: Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

***This review contains light spoilers, proceed at your own risk***

In 2007, Potterheads thought “All was well.” were the last words in the story of their beloved boy wizard. The announcement of the play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child was the 8th Potter story cause widespread rejoicing. The story picks up where Deathly Hallows left off as the Trio watch their kids depart for their wizarding alma mater.

The fear of being sorted into Slytherin preoccupies Albus Severus Potter despite his father’s assurances that being a Slytherin isn’t a shameful thing. He and his close friend and cousin, Rose Weasley, find a seat in a compartment with Scorpius Malfoy, Draco’s son. Rose quickly leaves the compartment, prejudiced against Scorpius due to his father’s sins. Albus remains behind, much to Rose’s chagrin, and strikes up a friendship with Scorpius.

Albus’s first few years at Hogwarts diverge greatly from his father’s experience as a young wizard. Where Harry found a home in Hogwarts, Albus finds a virtual torture chamber. Unpopular and derided by all of his classmates besides Scorpius, Albus dreads returning to Hogwarts every fall. Harry tries his best to support Albus but the relationship between the two grows more contentious as Albus feels like a failure to the Potter name. When Albus overhears a confrontation between his parents and someone from their past, he hatches a plan with the hope that his father will finally be proud of him.

My Thoughts

A few days before the release of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, I finally decided to pre-order the book on Amazon. I’d already put in a request for the book to my library but began to worry that I’d have to wait for a copy. I don’t have great self-control when it comes to spoilers and feared I would wind up spoiling the plot for myself. I soon had buyer’s remorse after looking at my packed-to-the-brim bookshelf and canceled my order at the last minute, and boy, am I glad I did.

My library had a copy of the book on reserve for me as soon as it released, so I don’t have to worry about this disappointing book taking up room on my shelf. I wanted to like this book so much, I really did. I knew it wouldn’t be the same as the original Harry Potter series and adjusted my expectations. As long as it didn’t veer off into ridiculous, out-of-character territory, it would be okay. Well, so much for that.

That’s not to say the script didn’t have good points. It realistically shows the struggle parents have raising teenaged children who are different from how they were as teenagers. Harry cares deeply about Albus but finds it difficult to comfort his son. Harry can’t seem to find the right words to help Albus because he and Albus had different obstacles at Hogwarts. They seem to miss the one experience they have in common: living up to their names.

I also loved the friendship between Albus and Scorpius which reminded me of the Trio’s friendship. Albus reminded me so much of Order of the Phoenix Harry, and Scorpius had shades of Ron. Both sets of friends had a certain outsider status and forged strong friendships while taking comfort in each other. I also wasn’t expecting to see so many characters from the original series, and it was wonderful to have them back one last time.

Now, to describe the things I didn’t like in the vaguest possible terms. There were two major plot points that ruined the whole book for me. One was the adventure Albus and Scorpius have and the means by which they are able to accomplish this. A twist revealed during the last fourth of the play sealed my disbelief. A big complaint about The Cursed Child is that it reads like fanfiction. These two points epitomized fanfic so thoroughly I actually put the book down at multiple points and sputtered, “Are you actually effing kidding me with this?” It was silly and out-of-character for certain characters involved. I just couldn’t believe they went in a direction that could easily be found on fanfiction.net. My final, more minor complaint: NOT ENOUGH RON.

I’m willfully writing most of this off as non-canon in my head because to do otherwise would be too upsetting. I would have preferred more of a focus on the relationships rather than a rehashed adventure and a done-for-shock-value twist.

Rating: 2 out of 5 golden snitches

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Book Review: Trigger Warning

Overview: Trigger Warning

Neil Gaiman is a master of modern fairy tales, folk tales, and mythology. All of his signature storytelling conventions are on display in Trigger Warning. Short stories, poems, and love letters showcase the usual Gaiman stand-bys: magical realism, sci-fi, and fantasy.

This collection has more than a few points of interest for people unacquainted with Gaiman. Trigger Warning includes works inspired by David Bowie, Ray Bradbury, and Gaiman’s wife, Amanda Palmer. A Doctor Who story and a Sherlock Holmes story are sure to pique the interest of those fandoms. “The Sleeper and the Spindle”, a lauded reimagining of Sleeping Beauty, is reprinted in this collection, buttressed by stories that also draw on classic princess fairy tales. The final chapter is a new entry in the story of Shadow Moon from Gaiman’s novel American Gods, which is being filmed for television.

Some of the works are more classically modeled on the fairy tales of old while others have a more urban setting. Seemingly everyday tales turn fantastical as the pages turn, some ending benignly and others…not so much. One story reads like an entry in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Others sound like old Scottish folktales. Linking each story together is a sense of magic and unease that draws the reader in.

My Thoughts

I’ve been a fan of Gaiman for a while, especially Coraline, Stardust, and American Gods. He has a wonderful way of making you suspect you’re reading a story passed down for years while also being relatable and current. Trigger Warning is no exception. Cursed princesses, hidden corpses, dukes on quests, and fathers seeking justice are tales as old as time. Gaiman uses classic themes and makes them new again. I’ve always been a fan of fairy tales and mythology so I’m a sucker for Gaiman.

There are stories here for people who aren’t so interested in fairy tales. If you like scary stories, sci-fi, and mystery, there’s something in Trigger Warning to spike your interest. As is the issue with most short story collections, not every story will speak to you. I struggled through a few chapters which made me take a little too long to finish the book. But, once you’ve read a short story collection, you can always dog-ear your favorites and skip the stories you didn’t like on subsequent readings.

Rating: 4 out of 5 Time Lords

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Book Review: The Kitchen Boy

Overview: The Kitchen Boy

What would the last living witness to the execution of the Romanov family have to tell us about the final days of the Russian Imperial family? Did they live in comfort? How did they spend their days in exile? Did they have any idea of the fate that marched so closely on their heels? The titular character of Robert Alexander’s The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar recollects the last month of the royal family. Brought with the family to the Ipatiev House in Siberia, the kitchen boy describes his role in the family’s murder.

The story begins in 1998 as Leonka, called “Misha” since fleeing to the U.S. after the Romanovs’ murder, begins to record his story for his granddaughter to listen to after his death. Now 94-years-old and newly widowered, Leonka knows that he must finally reveal the secrets that he and his wife have closely guarded for eighty years. As he weaves his tale of days spent inside a house with limed windows preventing glimpses of the outside world, eating meager meals, witnessing the royal family calmly ignoring constant verbal and emotional abuse from guards, and passing on secret messages of hope and freedom smuggled in by nuns, Leonka is overcome with survivor’s guilt. Out of the entire family and household staff only Leonka was spared, whisked away under the pretense of visiting his uncle mere hours before the carnage began. Leonka looks back on his memories of ill and desperately lonely Tsarevitch Alexei, the beautiful Grand Duchesses, deeply religious and caring Tsaritsa Alexandra, and the dignified and resilient Tsar Nicholas II with absolute sadness and shame.

As a 14-year-old kitchen boy, Leonka was the only servant of the royal family allowed to leave the house on errands. When the royal family received notes promising that there was a plan to free them, Leonka became the perfect courier. The notes claimed to be from members of the White army, still loyal to the monarchy. They urged the family to prepare for an imminent rescue attempt.

Leonka saw the Romanovs light up at this injection of hope: the women hurriedly sewed family diamonds into their garments in case of a quick getaway. Under the watchful and intrusive eyes of the Red guards surveilling Ipatiev House, Leonka managed to whisk the family’s responses to the priest of the nearby church. Bubbling with excitement that he and his kind but flawed former rulers would soon be free, Leonka managed to pass three notes along. Then, something went terribly wrong and sent Leonka on a lifelong mission to find some way to apologize for his part in extinguishing eleven lives.

My Thoughts

My favorite reviews to write are reviews of books I loved, and I LOVED this book. I’ve been a fan of learning about the last Romanovs since the 1997 animated movie Anastasia and used to spend many of my first days on the Internet looking up anything I could find about the family. When I saw great reviews for The Kitchen Boy I knew I had to read it.

Having a background knowledge of Nicholas II and his family made me immediately appreciate Alexander’s attention to factual historical detail. If he wrote about an event I was unaware of, a Google search confirmed it was based on actual events during June and July 1918. Alexander is a lover of Russian history himself, and it shows. The fact that he could weave a fictional tale, and a plausible one at that, around the historical documents that piece together those last weeks at Ipatiev House is remarkable. Even though we now know that Alexei and Maria were indeed killed along with their family, Alexander’s writing kept me hoping that he could change history.

Leonka/Misha’s experience with the family paints them in a sympathetic light. However, he’s not one to shy away from criticizing the Tsar and Tsaritsa’s foolish and headstrong decisions, blaming them for their own circumstances. He’s neither entirely forgiving or damning the royal family, but rather portrays them as actual humans with character flaws and a lack of foresight. In my experience, it’s rare to see historical figures given this kind of consideration in fiction. Many historical fiction novels paint famous figures in black and white, which helps lead to the public’s view of these people as good or evil. The truth is much more complex than that, and Alexander is willing to tackle it.

Knowing the fate that awaits the Romanovs makes for constant suspense in the story, but just wait until you reach the final thirty pages. I was an emotional wreck. Will Leonka finally be able to tell all his secrets and forgive himself?

Rating: 5 out of 5 Fabergé eggs

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Book Review: Blackout

Overview: Blackout

Sarah Hepola, writer and editor, established herself as the party-girl friend in college. Stories of Hepola’s crazy antics filled every post-party recap. Hepola rarely had any memory of what she had done. She binge-drank and experienced frequent en bloc blackouts, where the drinker loses hours of memories. In college, Hepola’s drinking problem made her the life of the party.

Once she entered her late twenties and early thirties she noticed the shift in friends’ attitudes towards her behavior. Friends no longer laughed along as Hepola fell down stairs, shared inappropriately intimate information and cried on the shoulders of acquaintances, and slept with strange men. As Hepola’s friends distanced themselves from her, she began to question what led her to the decision to prioritize dangerous habits. Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget illustrates how Hepola faced the steps that led her into oblivion and how she was finally able to fight her way out.

My Thoughts

Arguably the most common critique of portrayals of alcohol in the media is the glamorization of a problematic behavior. Hepola’s stories of her binge-drinking adventures are anything but glamorous. Hepola admits she thought she was living the kind of enviable, carefree life you see on TV; a single woman in charge of her career, sexuality, and personal life. In her mind, blackouts were so normal and expected that they became a punchline in her writing. She was quashing society’s narrow expectations for women by being bold, brash, and daring. A few lost memories and uncomfortable situations were the prices she paid for what she thought of as freedom.

Her walk towards recovery began when she noticed that friends were avoiding her. She always thought of her destructiveness as endearing, but her friends were maturing and no longer felt the need to use alcohol to have fun. They were rapidly losing patience with her desperate clinging to immature behavior. For a while, she convinced herself her problem was manageable. Reality set in when every attempt to go sober lasted mere days before having to numb herself with alcohol. Whether it was a rough day at work or the first free hour of the weekend, Hepola needed alcohol to deal with her insecurities. She began to realize that was the key reason she began to drink.

Hepola started drinking at the age of seven after a sip of beer left her feeling floaty and carefree. The effervescence of a cheap beer bubbled away the edges of her feelings of abandonment after her mom returned to work. In high school and college, she used alcohol to shed her self-consciousness so she would be more outgoing. She was able to be intimate with men without having reservations about how her looks and actions. As an adult, she used alcohol to plow through work assignments. Hepola had a career and was living in New York City, so she wondered why she still felt the need to drink. It’s rare for an addict to quit cold turkey and be instantly successful at sobriety, so Hepola naturally struggled on her journey.

While Hepola used to view her drunken escapades as hilarious, she portrays the reality of her behavior as the complete opposite. She wasn’t a free, unencumbered feminist living life on her own terms. She was a slave to the bottle trying to avoid the realities of adulthood. Waking up in bed with a stranger she couldn’t remember meeting the previous night wasn’t a patriarchy-smashing expression of sexuality, it was a dangerous game. Blacking out wasn’t an inevitable part of consuming liquor, it was stealing away enormous chunks of her life. Drinking left Hepola in a state of arrested adolescence, delaying development of healthy relationships with friends, work, and sex. Quitting drinking led her to overeat, which further proved that she was looking for excuses to soothe herself. Once she had this epiphany, she was finally able to deal with the issues she’d avoided for so long.

Once she was able to quit drinking, she realized that drinking to avoid problems only increases your problems. Reading about how dependent she was on liquor and seeing her become sober is inspirational for anyone dealing with addiction. Hepola worried that quitting booze would cause her to lose herself. In the end, she was finally able to become the person she’d been oppressing for so long.

Rating: 4 out of 5 empty champagne flutes

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Book Review: Shrill

Overview: Shrill

When a friend of mine sent me a photo of Shrill and told me it was amazing and I had to read it, something about the cover gave me a sense of deja-vu. Then it clicked: Lindy West, the author, regularly blogs on Jezebel, one of my favorite sites. West is a feminist who regularly blogs about feminism, reproductive rights, body positivity, and media’s compliance in the Internet troll culture. These issues are at the heart of Shrill. West effortlessly exposes the reader to how these topics have shaped her life from childhood and the effect speaking out about her experiences has positively and negatively affected her life. As one of the main promoters of the #ShoutYourAbortion conversation, West doesn’t shy away from taboo subjects (she discusses her abortion in a chapter) and opinions that nice young ladies shouldn’t talk about. There’s also copious, graphic period talk, which I live for. Accompanied by her skillful sense of humor, West breaks down the walls of politeness and puts forth addictive, emotional, hilariously heartbreaking reading material.

My Thoughts

From the very first page to the very last, I was hooked on Shrill. It wasn’t just West’s sense of humor that kept me wanting more, it was the feeling that for the first time, I was reading something that felt like I could have written it. I don’t mean that in the same sense that people who don’t understand art quickly insult modern art with the unoriginal “My kid could have made that” quip. I mean that so many of her feelings and ideas and experiences resonated with me because they could have easily been included in my own autobiographical work.

West is very outspoken about her experience as a fat woman in a world where obesity is seen as not just an epidemic, but a moral inadequacy worthy of derision with no real, insightful thought about what’s really behind the obesity epidemic. West deals with constant policing and critiquing of her body not only by Internet trolls, but also previous employers who railed against the obesity epidemic not by offering real solutions to a failing healthcare system, rampant poverty, and government interests, but by casually desexualizing,shaming, and bad mouthing people who already deal with abuse on a daily basis. I’ve seen Facebook friends post similar sentiments about fat people being lazy tubs of lard with no self-control, one person callously declaring that “diabetes isn’t sexy,” ignoring the fact that diabetes isn’t just a fat person problem. “Do you know what is actually not a good way to help a group of people, it turns out? Advocating their eradication,” West says. Maybe a few masochists respond well to being told they’re a worthless piece of crap, but most people aren’t motivated by that type of “encouragement.” West illustrates how fat people are one of the last easy targets of vitriol, hate, and dehumanization because fatshaming isn’t seen as a legitimate act of hate like racism and sexism.

West is now more comfortable being an “out” fat person, refusing to apologize for other people’s misguided and unsolicited opinions on her personal worth based on her weight. She didn’t always feel this way. As a child and young adult, West did her best to disguise and hide herself as much as she could. Well aware that her size made her more visible than the average person, West overcompensated by being painfully shy and not going after things she wanted because she felt she didn’t deserve them. West describes the importance of being positively represented in the media by outlining the media portrayals of fat women that she had at her disposal growing up. The list is short and includes Miss Piggy, Lady Kluck from Robin Hood, Ursula, and The Lady with Arm Flab from Pete and Pete. The message was clear: “…fat women were sexless mothers, pathetic punch lines, or gruesome villains.” If there was an exception to the rule (Roseanne, for instance), she had to be paired off with an equally overweight love interest. The same doesn’t hold true for men, and anyone can see by watching anything with Kevin James. Fat guys can score a thin girl, but pair a fat girl with a skinny guy and the feminazis have gone too far. As West grew up she felt the shame even more as her friends left puberty as svelte, gorgeous goddesses. “…I felt cheated. We each get just a few years to be perfect. To be young and smooth and decorative and collectible. I was missing my window…” After years of feeling like she deserved to be treated as a dirty secret by men just so she could have some semblence of a love life and feeling like less of a person, West finally decided to tackle her own fatphobia head-on. She looked at gorgeous photographs of overweight women and confronted the unhealthy thoughts she had about them exposing themselves when society tells fat people to hide themselves. Eventually, she broke through her own learned bias and learned to accept herself without apology or explanation. “I am my body…[t]here is not a small woman inside me…I am one piece.”

West’s unapologetic attitude is both a source of inspiration and derision, and she has fought against the largely unchecked harassment from Internet trolls allowed on most forums. For years she begged employers for support against trolls relentlessly hacking her e-mail and incessantly bombarding her with misogynistic, violent comments to the point that it interfered with her ability to do her job well. She was told over and over again that it was part of the job, and free speech couldn’t be limited without harming the company. West was also accused of being against free speech when she decided to speak out against misoogyny in comedy, specifically rape jokes. Again, she was brushed aside as exagerrating the problem and not understanding comedy. Meanwhile, she is a lifelong comedy fanatic who often hosted open mic comedy shows. During a televised debate, comedian Jim Norton assured West that people know a rape joke is just a joke and that comedy doesn’t convince people that rape is okay. Norton later apologized when West publicized the litany of rape threats she received after the show aired. “They handed me a gift…[a] suffocating deluge of violent misogyny was how American comedy fans reacted to a woman suggesting that comedy might have a misogyny problem.” The CEO of Twitter finally admitted there was an issue with violent threats on Twitter and began to take action against it. West still receives constant vitriol, but is proud that she was able to get a few people to listen.

My whole life, I’ve been painfully shy and nerdy. I started gaining weight in 5th grade and after my mom commented on it, I felt doomed. Both of my parents have had weight issues and it felt like inevitability that I would be a lesser human. I’ve struggled for years to try and lose weight, making strides only to be told over and over again how my body, even while I was trying to make it better, was gross. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t worthy of respect and love. Like West, I internalized this to the point where I had no self-respect. I still struggle with feeling like a gross waste of space, like the butt of a joke. You could cure cancer but if you’re fat, all the focus will be on your weight. Fat people are seen as people worthy of human decency because it’s just been accepted that fat people are inherently shitty people. And that’s ridiculous. While reading Shrill I was happy to see that I have someone in my corner, someone fighting for me. I saw myself in adolescent Lindy, jealous of her friends’ slim physiques, painfully aware that she couldn’t wear the same things as them or express herself in ways they were able to. I saw myself in young Lindy looking for an example of chubby girls dating a variety of men and only finding moms and sea witches and controlling, rapey pigs. I saw myself in adult Lindy, trying desperately to explain her experience of sexism to people who don’t even want to entertain the idea that sexism exists while SPOUTING MISOGYNY. I flew through this book, laughing and crying and feeling such intense anger, and I never wanted it to end. Maybe, with Lindy West’s help, I’ll be a little closer to loving myself.

Rating: 5 out of 5 period clots

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Book Review: My Lady Jane

Overview: My Lady Jane

When you think of English queens, who comes to mind? Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Elizabeth II are probably the two at the forefront of your mind, maybe one of the Marys if you were a casual student of history. How about Queen Jane? What, never heard of her? Chances are you haven’t, unless you’re British or really into history. She’s obscure because she only ruled for nine days, between King Edward VI and Queen Mary I, better known as Bloody Mary. Elizabeth I succeeded her Protestant-hating sister and is widely regarded as the country’s greatest monarch. So, why write a YA novel about this lesser-known queen? My Lady Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, and Jodi Meadows puts a comical fantasy spin on the doomed queen’s tale.

Edward VI is dying from “the Affliction” and that’s not his only problem. His sisters, Mary and Bess, are diametrically opposed to one another on a certain issue: the magical E∂ians. E∂ians are humans who can shape-shift into animals and were persecuted until Edward, Mary, and Bess’s father, King Henry VIII, revealed himself to be a lion during one of his rages. Henry worked to reintroduce the acceptance of E∂ians in his society, but died with much work left to be accomplished. Mary is a Verity, virulently anti-E∂ian, while Bess is virulently anti-Verity since her mother, Anne Boleyn, was also an E∂ian. No matter who he picks, it will lead to bloodshed. And besides, women can’t rule a country! Luckily, his adviser Lord Dudley offers a solution: Edward’s cousin Jane could marry Dudley’s son Gifford, and their male offspring could succeed Edward! Since both Gifford and Jane have E∂ian blood, they can produce an E∂ian heir and finally prove to the country that E∂ians aren’t dangerous, low-class monsters. Edward begrudgingly signs an updated will with this stipulation, much to cousin Jane’s chagrin.

Jane is a bookworm who loves to learn about offbeat topics like beet farming. She’s had previous failed engagements and considers herself cursed. To her shock, she and Gifford are successfully married mere days after Edward’s decision. Gifford is handsome but has a reputation as a philanderer, and proves to be a drunk at the wedding reception. In the morning, as Jane is giving Gifford a piece of her mind he stuns her by turning into a horse. Every day, Gifford–who prefers to be called “G”–frolicks in the meadows, eating hay and apples, only returning to his human form at night. Jane, having done plenty of research on E∂ians, is determined to help train her husband to control his transformations. The awkward newlyweds set off on their honeymoon and on the way witness the Pack, a gang of lawless E∂ians, harassing a peasant family. Jane is determined to help the family, but also sees that prejudice against E∂ians is alive and well in the country. The couple discusses how they will tackle these issues when Jane is coronated, only to have their honeymoon interrupted by news of Edward’s death.

In actual history, Jane rules for nine days before Mary and her army come knocking on her door. Jane and Gifford are swiftly executed, and Mary puts tons of Protestants to death for their beliefs. It doesn’t quite go that way in this re-imagining, but you’ll have to read it to find out what happens next.

My Thoughts

I love historical fiction, especially about the Tudors, and when I saw that My Lady Jane was a farcical take on Queen Jane’s story I knew I had to read it. This isn’t a dowdy historical fiction novel full of courtly language, it’s rather informal with frequent asides from the authors describing why they’re being anachronistic. There are plenty of little jokes and quips scattered through each page. All in all, this is a fun, light read, perfect for a lazy beach day. This also has its downsides, as the characters can lean towards the one-dimensional, and there are all the usual YA tropes that are overdone and tired, such as insta-love between a few characters. There also isn’t too much suspense, or whatever suspense there is gets resolved too quickly. The characters rarely seem to face a threat they can’t easily overtake. I’m not a fan of long, drawn-out battle scenes, but characters should have to go through more than just one roadblock to achieve their goal. The authorial asides are a bit overdone at some points. At the end you just want to find out what happens without the authors interrupting every few paragraphs to remind you how much you wanna finish the book but they have to remind you of this other thing. The jokes were cute but cheesy, more mental ha-ha than laugh-out-loud-pee-your-pants ha-ha. I liked the twist on the Catholic vs. Protestant Tudor clash being painted in magical terms. The feminist message of Jane and Bess being intelligent, capable female leaders was also awesome, and something we need more of, but there was also a moment where a certain marriage prospect for Edward is described as “plain”, as if it’s so terrible to be plain. Please, can we stop making plainness a fatal flaw, especially in literature with a feminist message? I feel like so many books have a feminist leaning but with a little star on the bottom that women still have to beautiful to be valued. It rubs me the wrong way.

My Lady Jane was a fluffy read with a fantasy-history bent that was good enough for one read, but not something I’ll read again.

Rating: 3 out of 5 executioners

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Book Review: Dead Wake

Overview

I’ve mentioned my fanatical love for all things Titanic in previous posts. As a pre-teen in 1997, I was ripe to pledge my undying fealty to Leomania. In addition to being attracted to Leonardo DiCaprio’s nonthreatening good looks, I was engaged by the stories of the Titanic‘s passengers and the ship itself. This interest extended to other maritime disasters and ships, although none could match my devotion to the unsinkable ship. I’ve been familiar with the disaster story of the Lusitania, a contemporary of the Titanic, almost as long as I’ve been a Titanicphile. When I heard rave reviews for Dead Wake: The Last Crossing of the Lusitania by Erik Larson, I quickly found a copy at the library.

Dead Wake tells the story of the Lusitania’s doomed transatlantic crossing from the experiences of multiple parties involved with or affected by the ship’s sinking. Scenes from the Lusitania itself and the U-boat that sank it are obviously present, but we’re also given a glimpse into the actions of the American, British, and German governments at the time. Larson leads us through events starting with the beginning of World War I, letting the reader know why a war was being fought in the first place and why the United States was not involved at the time of the Lusitania‘s sinking. The lives of the passengers and crew of the Lusitania and the U-20, President Wilson, and the intelligence officials of Room 40 are detailed from the days leading up to the Lusitania‘s departure from New York through the aftermath up to two years after the sinking. If you’re not a history buff you might be wondering why you should give this book a shot. Well, let me tell you…

My Thoughts

Submarine warfare and trench warfare played a huge part in the war and get their own descriptions, but Larson knows how to balance technical history with personal history so you aren’t bogged down by names, dates, and sub and ship specifications. After lengthy paragraphs about how the Lusitania and U-20 functioned, the reader is introduced to crew members and passengers with detailed descriptions of people’s personalities and quirks. Historical non-fiction books are usually dry when the people involved in a historical event are described in broad strokes without any sense that they were real, living people with a stake in what was happening in the world. In Dead Wake, the reader gets a distinct view of Captain Turner as an experienced but anti-social mariner. I could imagine Theodate Pope, architect and feminist ahead of her time, being a commanding presence while also battling severe depression. Some passengers are given coverage over a few chapters while only a few get brief mentions, but the overview gives the reader a better idea of exactly who was traversing the Atlantic Ocean and why they were making the journey despite pointed warnings against travel. A point of interest about the Lusitania‘s passengers is the large number of children who were traveling aboard, few of whom survived. The personalities of the U-20 crew and the conditions they lived in while at sea provide a stark contrast to the luxury aboard the Lusitania. Living in cramped, humid, pungent quarters while maintaining stealth was key to the experience of working on a U-boat. Torpedoes were also notoriously faulty and it’s a miracle of circumstance that Lusitania was even hit. Larson contrasts the scenes of Lusitania passengers making tension-breaking jokes about getting hit by torpedoes over lavish dinners to Kptlt. Schwieger and his crew peeping above water looking for targets to great effect. The personal details of the people at the heart of this story made my anxiety increase with every passing chapter as the I came closer to the accounts of the sinking. I wondered which of the passengers would survive and what they would experience as the terror behind their macabre jokes came true.

Rating: 4 out of 5 lifeboats

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Book Review: The Feminist Utopia Project

The Feminist Utopia Project Overview

The Feminist Utopia Project, edited by Alexandra Brodsky and Rachel Kauder Nalebuff, begins with a short but powerful declaration: “We want more.” In the fifty-seven pieces that follow, feminists present their views on the components of a feminist utopia. These views are expressed through art, poetry, photos, interviews, short fictional stories, and personal narratives spanning a variety of feminist-interest topics. One writer imagines a future where girls are coached in family planning from puberty and abortion restrictions are archaic. Another piece imagines how humans of the future will look back on the early 21st century issues of “rape” and “consent” with incredulity because the concept of people having sex with each other without them both wanting to have sex is unfathomable. While some writers imagined a feminist utopia, others analyzed the issues humanity must overcome in order to foster a feminist utopia. Others imagine specific facets of a feminist utopia, such as justice systems, education reform, workplace reform, and medical practice. The feminism presented in this anthology is inclusive, with many pieces focusing on how sexism affects women of color, transgender women, and men. Each piece explores something “we want more” of, whether it’s more paid parental leave or more freedom to move freely through the world without the constant nagging feeling that we will be victims of gender-based violence.

My Thoughts

This book, being an anthology, contains a little something from everyone, as long as you’re not a bitter, ill-informed meninist, I guess. There are fifty-seven unique works by fifty-seven different people. I enjoyed some of the pieces more than others, depending on each author’s voice. I really enjoyed the fictional imaginings of utopian futures where feminism isn’t a dirty word, it’s common sense. The pieces that centered on economics were a bit dry in my opinion, and I’m sure others would find it fascinating to consider a more feminist take on medical care but it just wasn’t stimulating enough for me. That’s not to say I disagreed with the authors’ messages, I just can’t get deeply invested in those topics past a page or two. The fact that a few of the chapters weren’t up my alley shows the diversity of the subject matter. At the end of the book is a categorized index for those who want to read about specific topics like food, sex, art, disability rights, queer rights, or trans justice. What strings together this cornucopia of opinions about all of the issues underneath the feminist umbrella is the theme of wanting more, and the question of why we’re struggling to reach a feminist utopia. I frequently see women being subtly demeaned by friends and family. Sexist ideas about what it means to male and female are so ingrained into our culture that they appear to be fact. It’s easy to demean emotions and other stereotypically feminine traits at the expense of both men and women. The visions of feminist utopias presented in this book depend on the willingness of people to challenge our own beliefs and imagine a better, safer, inclusive future.

Rating: 4 out of 5 feminist utopias

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Book Review: Turning the Tables

Turning the Tables Overview

Teresa Giudice has gone from being famous for her table-flip in Season One of The Real Housewives of New Jersey to notorious as a convicted felon. After spending six seasons throwing money around to build and furnish her lavish home and buying her four daughters everything they could ever want, Teresa was sentenced to fifteen months at FCI Danbury, a minimum-security prison made famous by Orange is the New Black. Fans of RHoNJ followed Teresa’s story with intense interest, wondering how the cookbook maven would survive her time behind bars. Turning the Tables: From Housewife to Inmate and Back Again describes Teresa’s experience in prison, from the monotony of daily life to the friendships she forged with her fellow inmates.

While serving just under a year, Teresa kept a diary of her experiences in prison, which she used to write Turning the Tables. In the book, Teresa discusses growing up in Paterson as the daughter of hardworking Italian immigrants, marrying her childhood sweetheart Joe, and finding fame on TV. Teresa never goes into detail about the crimes that led to her sentencing, but she does explore the basics of her trial and conviction. Shocked that she’d been sentenced to serve time in prison, Teresa spent her remaining months at home spending quality time with her family before leaving her McMansion in the middle of the night to turn herself in. Throughout her time in prison, Teresa has to learn the ropes of prison etiquette while dealing with the heart-wrenching pain of being apart from her family. Teresa’s faith in God and commitment to self-improvement help her power through her months in jail, and she returns to her family vowing to be a better person.

My Thoughts

I’ve been a fan of RHoNJ since its first season. I’m a Jersey girl myself, and seeing the lives of people who live close to me play out on TV was exciting, especially the early seasons with Danielle Staub’s unique brand of drama throwing the other women for a loop. I’ve met two of the housewives before and they were very kind (Caroline and her daughter Lauren, and Teresa herself…I stood in line in the rain for hours so she could sign my copy of her first Skinny Italian cookbook) and seen another (Danielle) at my local Cheesecake Factory. I may have even driven past their houses on impromptu RHoNJ tours. I mean, when you live fifteen minutes away from Bravolebrities, that’s what you do when nothing else is going on. Hell, even my best friend from pre-school appeared in the background of an episode or two! They’re my countrywomen, and I’m along for the ride. I’ve even attended a few parties for season premieres and finales, and made a Jersey-themed tiramisu for one such event.

Proof.

I enjoyed Teresa’s cookbooks and hoped that her prison tell-all would be a fun beach read as well. Alas, Teresa should stick to doling out authentic recipes for classic and unique Italian dishes. Teresa’s writing is suited for short snippets accompanying a recipe, not a full book. I don’t know if she didn’t have enough material and struggled to stretch what she had into a 250-page book or if she’s just not that good at writing, but Turning the Tables was repetitive and sounded like a student who just learned how to write five-paragraph essays wrote it. It was so repetitive, I made a drinking game: every time she says “Madonna mia…“, tells you what a good person she is, refers to someone by an insensitive nickname, transcribes part of an episode of RHoNJ, throws in random Italian words…take a drink. Information was repeated ad nauseam. It felt like chapters just repeated the same information and most of it wasn’t interesting. Teresa kept to herself in jail, made a few friends, and stayed out of drama. Good for her, but it doesn’t make for great reading.

Although most of the book was dull, I felt for Teresa when she described leaving her family, which was still reeling from the sudden death of her father-in-law. For all the drama she’s brought with her in the past, you can’t deny that Teresa adores her family, especially her daughters. Her true, best self comes through when she describes the pain she felt when she was able to talk on the phone with her kids and husband, and spend precious hours with them during visitation hours. Even though she felt blessed to have contact with them, those brief snippets of quality time also caused Teresa tremendous pain. That’s a feeling I strongly identify with. I hate goodbyes, even when I know I’ll see the person again. Being apart from loved ones is distressing, and Teresa used that distress to fuel her resolve to stay strong, follow the rules, and complete her sentence. Whenever she felt her strength wavering and was tempted to get into prison drama, she thought of her girls. Teresa shared this strength with fellow inmates, encouraging them to ignore petty prison gripes so they could get home faster. She knew that acting out could result in an extension of her sentence, or being sent to a maximum-security prison, so she devoted her time to quashing her quick temper. Teresa has since continued a daily yoga routine she started in prison, which she says changed her life. She claims to have left prison a calmer, more thoughtful, less reactive person. I guess we’ll have to tune into RHoNJ this season to see if that’s true.

Rating: 2 out of 5 flipped tables

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Book Review: Bizarre London

Overview

I majored in history because I found history interesting. Okay, maybe not all history, but I like learning how people lived hundreds to thousands of years ago. Those of you who aren’t history buffs might think, “What possible interest could I have in people who died a long time ago?” We tend to think of history in terms of dates and names we attach vague meaning to. History is so interesting when you dig below the dusty covers and expose the dirty, scandalous underbelly of history. If this sounds intriguing, Bizarre London by David Long could develop your history appreciation.

Bizarre London explores the funny, dark, dangerous, and quirky parts of London’s history that the average person probably isn’t aware of. Each chapter includes tidbits about a certain facet of the city’s history, such as serial killers, odd buildings, food and beverage, riots, holidays, parks, eccentric Londoners, and ghosts. Instead of disseminating information in full chapters, Long divides his chapters into lists with a short paragraph per item, and short asides. This makes the information easy to read. You can quickly skim through the information if you’re looking for something specific, and it’s not overwhelming if you’re reading the book straight through. Meanwhile, you’re learning about history through the back alleys and infamous figures of London.

My Thoughts

Bizarre London could appeal to fans of history, travel, royalty, food, serial killers, and other topics. There’s something in here for everybody. The book covers many topics related to London’s history, but is written in a user-friendly way. The information isn’t overwhelming because each section is brief and interesting. You’re guaranteed to learn something you’ll never forget. I learned that royal elephants drank wine in the summer because it was believed that elephants couldn’t drink water during that season, and I didn’t have to read through a heavy, musky tome to learn this.

Some of the information is light and quirky, but other bits are disturbing and depressing. Quite a few descriptions of relics mentioned in the book end with the information that they were blown to smithereens during WWII, when Germany frequently bombed London. There are stories of animal cruelty, dismemberment, and moldering corpses on display. I love these kinds of stories, but they aren’t for everyone. The book maintains British spelling and references things only people who are familiar with the United Kingdom would recognize, which might be off-putting to some readers. If you enjoy casual looks at underappreciated stories from history, this book is for you.

Rating: 4 out of 5 rampaging elephants