Hold Onto Your Butts

Film enthusiast, bass trombone player, one day aspires to live in Jurassic Park and be one with the dinosaurs

[not-all-the-prayers]

the west wing is the best show because the a plot is a serious discussion on bipartisanship and the b plot is the chief of staff insulted a columnist’s shoes and a series of staff members try to clean up his mess with increasingly ridiculous missteps including underwear falling out of a pants leg

[callali1y]

every time someones says "hey how are you" and i say "good" and forget to add the "how about you?" i feel like i've missed a quicktime event

[bodhrancomedy]

Look, it’s a weird hill to die on, especially when I don’t really explain, but children deserve to experience fear, disgust, and discomfort in safe scenarios where they can process those sensations.

Media for children used to be scary and that’s important.

[the-davest-of-uncles]

“Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.” ― C.S. Lewis

[grace-in-the-wilderness]

"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."

-- G. K. Chesterton

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

all texts are risky texts if you have sufficient fear in your heart

[dykeselfcest]

idk thinking about how sometimes you have to show up for people you aren't that close to, because sometimes you're just the person who's there. sometimes you invite a new friend to a party and end up having to sit with them through a panic attack. sometimes you run into an acquaintance on their worst day and they need to talk about what happened. sometimes someone is crying in a stairwell and you're the only one around to ask if they're okay. and none of this is "trauma dumping" or whatever the fuck it's just being there for people because you're the one in the room with them.

[look-something-shiny-redux]

My then-coworker was pregnant with her second child. One day she mentioned being terrified she'd go into labor at three in the morning and no one would be available to take care of her toddler while she went to the hospital.

"I know it's stupid," she said, "but I can't stop thinking about it."

"Call me if that happens, " I said, because we lived 15 minutes away from each other. "I'll run over and watch her until her grandparents get there."

And I didn't think too much of it at the time, but after my coworker came back from maternity leave she told me that this conversation, where some girl from work promised to give up a couple hours of sleep if her family had an emergency, was the reason she was able to sleep at night for the rest of the pregnancy.

[wildeismsremade-deactivated2019]

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

[aphtaiwan-deactivated20140530]

what why would you use numbers

[aujo-deactivated20200213]

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

[theinatorinator-deactivated2020]

America makes no sense, as usual.

[fndungeonmom]

bless the person that actually made the chart

[mybine-deactivated20160330]

laughter from France

[raptortooth]

France what the fuck

[woodle-dee-doodle-deactivated20]

France you had one job

[fairyofsomething]

I’m crying

[viostormcaller]

[mrsswift-kloss]

This is hilarious

[shingojira]

[diomedxs]

[anna-kendrickarchive]

[brucie-deactivated05092020-deac]

from lego batman but that same exact thing happened here

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

me when my room is being haunted by ghosts

[beautyandthepriest-deactivated2]

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

The snake getting really agitated in second year and Harry like ‘Aw, what’s wrong little friend?’

And snake’s like ‘Nah don’t worry it’s cool, it’s just that big fuck-off snake in the pipes that keeps making you think you’re hearing things—it’s like, ten thousand foot long, and I’m a corn snake, so you know. Bit intimidating.’

[analyticalsenshi]

Third year he eats Scabbers and saves them all a lot of time

[nomzoms]

my hand slipped

[a-redharlequin]

TOO DAMN CUTE

[stimman4000]

.

[meanplastic]

Me, on a date: so how do you feel about using old memes?

Them: I honestly hate people using memes that have expired. It’s not funny anymore

Me, shoving breadsticks into my purse: I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

my grandma’s watching fox news and i’m overhearing then losing their absolute shit over millennials not buying kraft singles

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

[durgeth]

let’s be real though, it deserves to die.

[worldsspecialestboy]

it doesn’t taste anything like cheese.

[axelinabox]

Its not even allowed to be branded as “cheese” in most countries outside the US

[gharibajameel]

THATS JUST MY

OPINIOOOONNNNN

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[llywela13]

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

[itslarsyouguys]

I love when my toddler asks me to help her with her toy or something and she is all “good job, mama! Great work!” And encouraging because that’s what you do!