eHarlot/Court Jester combo meal

29 | she/her | pan/poly i draw sinful things on my bsky (18+) this place is for silly funny posts i find

[squeakitties]

steam big picture mode was designed to be clicked on by accident two or three times per year

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[cosmicretreat]

[awkwardexxodus]

oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build

[awkwardexxodus]

the specific build in question btw

[parchmentengineer]

I looked up some of the artist's other builds and they're all just absolutely incredible

[deadandwalking]

hey kitten. daddy needs to talk to you. your kink blog is great, but you are not highlighting the words correctly. kitten. stop highlighting. this is shit. did you seriously highlight that period. kitten.

[default-cube]

who up wasting their only shot at life through complete and utter inaction

[segamascott]

not me it's get a bag thursday 💯🔥😤

[frailgun]

i did a google search for "most recent invention" which my girlfriend said was something strong bad would do

[frailgun]

angriest I've ever been in my life

[cpericardium]

at the euthanasia party everyone gets a sip of the forbidden lean

[tastyrepulsorboots]

Yeah, same

[dragongirlsweetie]

i just got shot with a puppy rifle but it didnt hurt me because im not a puppy

[aceynk]

me i just got shot by an elephant gun but im not even an elephant so im ok

[estrogenesis-vaporeongelion]

i just got shot with a 9mm handgun but i'm ok because i am taller than 9mm

[kunosoura]

hi! I'm a 9mm tall puppyphant and i'm excited to be here!

[creekfiend]

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

[animperfectangelsblog]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

just found a cross of miquella in a candy store. read "I abandon here my dollars five"

[balo-badartist]

wolf cub

[elfhunk]

[loredwy]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[would-you-punt-them]

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

[jeaninelatragedia]

holy shit.

[frustratedasatruar]

You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.

Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.

[couchnapping]

flaccid penis... it's chic, it's hip, it's the next big thing

[couchnapping]

it's the next thing

[venerable-thief]

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

[quinnception]

[cognitohazardous]

no more maid kink under communism. get your jumpsuit and PPE on comrade youre a janitor under the ministry of public sanitation now

[cognitohazardous]