the gay™️ @twoplayergays1031 - Tumblr Blog

What Am I?

“I feel [thoughts, feelings]. What am I?”

We can’t answer that. The only person who can…is you. However, we are able to suggest terms you may identify with and encourage you.

Maybe your friend said she doesn’t think you seem non-binary, or your mom said you don’t act like a trans guy would act so you can’t be trans. It can be hard to do, but you need to push those comments aside and trust in yourself.

Don’t let other people’s opinions determine how you identify- they aren’t the one in your head having your experiences and feelings, you are. And again, you are only one who can figure out your gender.

Check out the trans umbrella for a definition of trans identity if you’re not sure you know what it means to be trans or non-binary, or what identities count as trans or nb.

If you can’t meet other trans people in real life, we would recommend following trans people on tumblr or other social media. You can find plenty of people who would be willing to talk to you about your gender or their own experience with questioning.

“What if I don’t have dysphoria about X thing, or I do have dysphoria about Y gendered feature? What am I then?”

Again, we can’t choose a label for you!

But it’s important to know that non-binary people can have dysphoria about different things, including top/chest dysphoria and lower/genital dysphoria. So you can be non-binary, for example, and want to get lower surgery.

And it’s also important to know that binary people (ie trans men and trans women) don’t have to have dysphoria about any particular thing, so you can be a trans woman, for example, but not have any issue with your genitals or not want to be on estrogen.

So any trans person (and that includes nb folk) can experience any type of gender dysphoria or gender euphoria (or the lack thereof), and having dysphoria or not having dysphoria isn’t limited to people with a certain label or required of people with a certain label. More info on all of that is in our Dysphoria page.

In addition, it’s possible for someone to not experience dysphoria about a certain trait as a child but still end up feeling dysphoric about it at a later point.

What label should I use?

The links below have some label ideas and definitions!

If you don’t like a label, then you don’t have to use it. You should choose whatever gender identity term is the most comfortable for you, whether that means choosing something well-known or deciding to go with a micro-label.

Gender identities:

NB Flowchart

Long list of genders

Neurogenders

Gender Jargon Dictionary

Sexual orientations:

Sexualities

Non-binary sexualities

Mlm, wlw, nblnb, etc

Sexuality chart

Look into what you think fits you and feels the most right and comfortable, and if you feel like you really like a certain label, and you’re drawn to it, then that might be an indicator it’s right for you! But there’s no time limit before you have to choose one, and it’s okay to explore things!

We also have tags for different genders or sexualities (such as /tagged/bigender) if you want more info.

Go to your browser like Chrome or Safari and type https://transgenderteensurvivalguide.tumblr.com/tagged/insertidentity if you can’t search the blog on your mobile app! And replace insert identity with the word you’re looking for.

“I didn’t suspect I am trans until I was [x age], so am I still valid?

Yes, you’re valid! Not everyone realizes they’re trans in childhood like the narrative pushed at you by the media says, and that’s totally okay. In fact, the majority of trans people probably don’t realize as children, or don’t have the language to label their feelings as children, or don’t have as gendered bodies yet, or aren’t expected to fit into gender roles as kids yet so they don’t realize they’re in the wrong one, or the converse where they have their self-identification invalidated and knocked down so they don’t have a welcoming environment to explore and grow and therefore don’t identify as trans yet. There are many reasons people don’t necessarily know they’re trans when they’re children, and they’re all valid.

Many of our mods realized as teens (Read the When did you know you were trans? post for more info on realizing as a teen or child) but that isn’t because most people realize at the age we did, it’s because this is a blog that looks for teenage mods (so the advice is from your peers and mostly not from adults) and that means you’ll have mods who realized as teens or occasionally younger.

So some people realize as children, some people realize during puberty, some people realize in high school, some people realize as adults, and it’s all normal, valid, and okay. You’re never too old to realize.

To Survive On This Shore (Photographs and Interviews with Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Older Adults)

My Transgender Life — Transitioning at Age 64 (has some misgendering of Caitlyn Jenner)

How a Sliver of Glass Changed My Life (Injury mention)

Some people discussing when they realized

Here are a few basic steps to get you started on your journey:

Daydreaming. Think of the future; maybe you have the perfect occupation, or children, or life partner(s), or all three? Or perhaps you’re supreme dictator of Earth? No matter where you are, what do you look like? A man, a woman, someone in between, both, neither, etc.? The image you have in mind could be indicative of who you feel you are, or who you want to be.

Stating your gender. Look in the mirror. State, “I am a boy/girl/etc.,” or, “I am not [assigned gender].” Does it feel right? Does it feel comfortable? This could be indicative of who you feel you are, or who you want to be! There’s nothing wrong with questioning and trying on a label for a while to see if it fits you.

Being called your chosen name/pronouns. (Please note that you do not have to change your name or pronouns to be transgender.) Think of a close friend who you trust and feel would support and respect you during this time. Say to them, “I am questioning my gender and I would like you to call me (insert name here) and use (insert pronouns here) for me when other people aren’t around.” A good friend will agree. If it feels right for them to call you your chosen name, that could be an indicator.

It will feel weird at first to have your friend call you your chosen name, but you’ll get comfortable with it if it is right. The same goes for your gender pronouns! There’s definitely an adjustment period before it feels normal, so don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t click immediately.

However, you don’t have to tell your friends right away. There isn’t a time limit before it’s too late to come out, and you can come out whenever you’re ready to do so. If you aren’t ready to tell friends that you’re questioning, these three websites will help you practice pronouns:

http://www.practicewithpronouns.com (TW for some disturbing sentences, they’re modeled after the Welcome to Nightvale podcast)

https://minus18.org.au/pronouns-app/

http://www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/

Experiment. For people or beings who think they may be transmasculine, you could pack with a sock, purchase a chest binder, dress in “masculine” clothing, or talk to masc-identified people or beings! For people or beings who think they may be transfeminine, you can try on makeup, dress in “feminine” clothing, or talk to femme-identified people or beings!

You don’t need to rush into anything. You can try things for as long as you want.

Gender expression ≠ gender identity, as shown on the genderbread person, so course it’s valid to be both gender non-conforming and a trans person, like being a trans guy who likes dresses, or a trans girl who is a tomboy, and liking a feminine or masculine presentation doesn’t inherently make you trans.

If you decide you’re not trans, you’ve still had an adventure into gender that likely widened your understanding of your own self and your understanding of other people- no harm done.

Being yourself is important, even if you end up identifying as cis instead of trans, so don’t worry about whether you’re “allowed” to bind/paint your nails, etc, and just do whatever makes you feel comfortable because everyone is allowed to express themselves in whatever way they want to, and that includes cis people.

Research. If you don’t know much about being transgender, look here to start. Google is your friend! Check out videos on YouTube, talk to people who are on hormones or have had surgeries, and definitely check out our transmasculine resources or our transfeminine resources.

Look into surgeries and hormones, if this is something that interests you- but don’t actually start the process of getting them until you’re sure it’s what you need. Just becoming aware of your medical transition options might help- if you feel like it’s something you might want, then that might be an indicator of your identity. But please note that you do not have to want to get surgery or go on hormones to be transgender, and you can want surgery/hormones and be non-binary, or not want surgery and be a man or woman.

Try to avoid online “gender quizzes” that ask you stuff like your personality and your height or your hobbies to figure out if you’re trans. They’re pretty much nonsense- only you can figure out your identity, and the quizzes tend to rely on stereotypes.

Here are some links that may be helpful:

What does gender feel for trans people?

What does it mean to be trans?

Questioning when Autistic

Questions to ask instead of “Am I trans?”

“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

Writing things down

If You’re Asking, ‘Am I Gay? Lesbian? Bi? Trans? Queer?’ Here’s a Start

Some general advice

I Think I Might Be Trans: 8 Important Notes On Questioning

How do I know if I’m really trans?

The Gender Playbook: A Guide to Figuring Out Your Non-Binary Identity

Gender Questioning?

Rules for questioning your gender

If your gender dysphoria isn’t ‘that bad’

Still confused? Try this.

Mental health resources

One in Every 137 Teenagers Would Identify as Transgender, Report Says

You don’t have to be super-duper uncomfortable with being the gender you were assigned at birth to be allowed to identify as trans- no particular amount of dysphoria is required. If you would just be happier or more comfortable identifying as a different gender, you’re still trans enough. Gender euphoria is a thing!

There’s nothing wrong with questioning your gender, and it doesn’t hurt other trans people or take away from the community or anything. In the end, you’ll have just learned more about yourself and about the trans community- and that’s a happy ending regardless of whether you end up deciding you’re trans or cis.

“But what if I don’t want to be trans?”

Check that link!

If you have any further questions, feel free to ask us, but we can’t tell you who you are since only you can know that. Remember, it’s okay to take your time to figure it out but the way you feel now is valid and important!

Followers, feel free to add on with more tips that helped you when you were questioning!

sachiiku-deactivated20200325

uhh kick??????? ( credits to streetartistklance on ig )

erlenmeyertrash

y’all realize roman Cannot tell when deceit is lying right. like that is a Common Theme every single time snake man shows up. roman literally thinks he is being genuinely complimented the first time deceit appears. he only starts to riff against him once the others emphasize how dishonest he is and how they don’t trust him. the camera pans to roman every 7 seconds in this video and he’s like

because he is so confused as to why patton, logan, and thomas are all of a sudden agreeing with a guy who was up until recently considered a major antagonist. even if deceit was trying to help thomas he did so by being antagonistic. he teased them. mocked choices he disagreed with. would twist his sentences to be the polar opposite to prove a point. the man lies when asked about his gloves because it’s in his nature. so of course roman now thinks deceit is being deceitful every time he opens his mouth because roman thinks that means he’ll understand what’s really being said. “oh, if i just believe he’s lying all the time, then it’ll make sense.” which is kind of the logical deduction to make if someone is LITERALLY CALLED DECEIT.

so yeah roman was an ass for laughing at the name reveal but idk maybe- maybe- if you thought someone was trying to lie to you yet again to gain your trust after already doing that in the past, you’d scoff at them, too

and then roman proves this point IMMEDIATELY after when thomas calls him a hero, roman looks at deceit, because he thinks “oh, deceit lies, so if he says yes he means no” and what does deceit do? he nods. does he explain that he’s being honest in any way that isn’t just having the 🥺expression? no. that’s why roman sounds so gd panicked and heartbroken, too, because all of a sudden thomas and his moral side are agreeing with someone roman was given a total green-light go-ahead to call EVIL in the last couple of videos, and he thinks deceit just up and went “thomas just lied to you about being his hero, which is basically the most important thing to you”

((also this isn’t me hating on janus!! of course you’re going to lash out at someone who makes fun of you while you’re being vulnerable to try and get them to trust you)) but like. fam. stop bullying roman

twoplayergays1031

at first I was so pissed at Roman but you just made me do a complete 180 man. this all makes so much sense.

lanceinshiningarmor

so what if lance gets really upset by all the jokes he sort of…..gives up. like he’s battled aliens, he’s sacrificed himself for his crew, he’s shown strategic intelligence when planning escapes and battles but nothing seems to earn the respect of his team so he stops. he stops making jokes, he stops bickering with keith and joking around with hunk. he starts to withdraw into himself and becomes silent cause he feels maybe that’s what everyone wants, that’s how he’ll earn their respect. he doesn’t eat with the team the only time they see him is during team drills and forming voltron to fight the galra

the others are unsure what to do. pidge jokes that there’s finally some peace and quiet for once in the castle but she does hey worried cause she saw a flash of pain on lance’s face when she said it, before he disappeared from the training room.

hunk tries really hard to get lance to talk about it so lance would give him a grin and tell him he’s fine he’s just homesick before going to bed. hunk doesn’t really fall for it but he has no clue how to get him to open up

shiro is worried the moment he saw a chance in his behavior but every time he tries to talk to him, lance makes up an excuse and walks away. lance doesn’t have it in him to lie to shiro but he also doesn’t want to humiliate himself in front of his hero

allura says she worried cause it’ll affect forming voltron, which is a stab at lance’s heart tbh but she doesn’t need to worry, he’s able to keep his mind clear during battle since he has a close connection to blue

lance also avoids coran at every turn cause he knows coran will try to help

and keith. keith doesn’t really notice anything strange until one day when he accidentally bumps into lance. he squares up, ready for whatever insult lance would come up with for “getting in his way” but it never comes and when he looks back, lance looks……blank. it scares keith and he’s not sure why. so he tries to start something with him, get his attention and rile him up. when lance looks over tho he just says “oh…sorry man. didn’t see you there” then walks out. keith immediately gets tense. what the hell happened to him?

fullyrealisedlegend

WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS

but like also, imagine then he starts getting angry, and bitter about it. Starts getting more reckless because hey, he’s expendable, right? Stops being able to understand why people are worried because “you can find another paladin”. He flicks between cold/detached, and venomous anger.

And sometimes he cries, alone in his room, but it’s not even the kind of wracking, cleansing crying. It’s just, silent tears he barely understands anymore and he’s just so tired.

Everyone becomes wary of him. They’re not sure what pushed him to be like this. The give up trying to talk to him because he won’t open up. There’s not even resistance, per se. It’s like trying to push at water that just flows around you - they can’t elicit any emotion from him any more.

And then finally he snaps.

They’re in the Comms room discussing a mission, Allura probably has a go at Lance or Pidge tries to make a joke at his expense and he just, loses it. Bites back with a few choice, personal insults; destroys them. Makes a few self deprecating comments, assures them he’ll get the job done, and if they’re lucky he might die in the process and then they won’t have to worry about him fucking up.

Then he storms off.

Everyone is kind of confused. Except Keith. It finally clicked what’s wrong, because he knows the feeling of being on the outside - of being the extra piece that nobody wants. So he follows Lance to his room.

Lance tries to get him to leave but he won’t. He just stands there, or maybe sits down, in silence, just waiting. And Lance works himself up and screams at Keith. All his insecurities and doubts and how much it hurts and how he believes it too much sometimes. That he’s useless. That he has no unique skills, he’s just ‘the other one’. He’s annoying. How angry he is at everyone, how much he hates them, himself, everything. He screams and rants until he’s out of breath and his voice is cracking and the tears are flowing and he breaks off into sobs.

And that’s when Keith finally goes to him, and hugs him. Just hold him while he cries. Because he knows that when he felt like that, all he ever wanted was for someone to touch him. To hold him and keep him feeling real. And Lance doesn’t push him off, he’s too tired. Instead he grips onto Keith’s shirt and cries more until he falls asleep. And still Keith doesn’t let him go. Just whispers “I’m sorry” over and over and over until he too passes out. And he’s still there in the morning when Lance wakes up because he can’t let Lance feel like he’s been abandoned.

And they talk. And it’s Keith’s turn now. To tell Lance his own experience. Because he was never part of anyone’s family or group of friends or anything. He was always the other, always on the edge, never had anyone who wouldn’t leave him. And then he tells Lance everything good about him. Every trait that Lance has that Keith admires. Puts a good spin on everything Lance hates about himself. Talks until Lance is crying again and his voice is hoarse.

Then he tells Lance he’ll be back - promises - and heads to find the others.

And now Keith yells. Tears into every single other member of his team. Of course Keith is angry at himself too, but these people were supposed to be the friends and mentors that Lance relied on. They were supposed to be there for him more than Keith was. And they failed. Lance was nearly lost beyond the point of no return and it’s anything but his own fault. So Keith rips them apart. Tells them their own flaws and exactly how they’ve made Lance feel. That they should be ashamed. Of course they are ashamed, and shocked, because they’re not bad people they were just preoccupied and not thinking. Making assumptions about what Lance could handle and what they thought. But the truth is every single one of them took him for granted.

So Keith grabs food and things and returns to Lance because what he needs right now is companionship (and Keith’s worried about leaving him on his own because he knows what depression can drive someone to do). And Lance is seeing a new side of Keith too, and it’s good and he thinks that maybe they don’t need to fight all the time. Maybe he can get over his envy and pride and they can be good friends. Because it was Keith who found him at his lowest and was stubborn enough to stick around.

Later, they all gather, so the team can apologise to Lance. Can tell him hoe much they love him and need him and appreciate him. How good he is. And Lance breaks down again because sure he had withdrawn and was mad, but he’s a social creature at heart who just wants his friends to like him and he doesn’t want to be alone any more.

And things get better. They all get better. With each other. They stop taking their team mates for granted. There’s less fighting, more compliments, more listening. They pull each other up instead of expecting everyone to keep up. It’s not instantaneous, and it’s awkward at first, but it improves, and things go back to normal. Normal, but better. Bickering and insults and jokes still happen, but they’re in between compliments and praise and love. So it’s okay.

And if Keith and Lance are seen holding hands, or curled up together on the couch, or sharing soft whispers before they fly out… well, nobody says anything. They won’t begrudge two broken boys of funding comfort in each other.

twoplayergays1031

b r u h

an idea, idk

Okay, so this is kind of an unoriginal idea, but the way I plan to execute it is unique in the roles in which characters take and the way in which the story is presented.

I want to do a Newsies Voltron AU, with klance, obviously. I thought of this due to my recent tangent of AO3 Klance stories, as well as my school currently performing Newsies. A quick google searched showed that some people have made art, and I found one story for it. However, they had different roles for the characters and made the story as if the Voltron characters were just Newsies back in the time period of the newsboys strikes. What I want to do, on the other hand, is make them highschoolers who are performing Newsies.

Here is the basic concept so far:

Lance is finally excited to audition for the musical, as the main lead male of Lance’s past two years (Noah) has finally graduated. Before he was gone, he and Lance had become good friends, and people typically considered Lance “the next Noah,” much to Lance’s embarrassment. He was confident, sure, but not THAT confident. Noah was nice, and kind to everyone, and extremely, EXTREMELY talented. Lance had done musical his first two years, and now, as a Junior, he was excited to audition for Newsies, with some encouragement from his buddies who had done musical alongside him the past two years, his friend of eight years Hunk (a Junior) and the upperclassman who quickly latched on to Lance and Hunk their freshman year, Matt (a Senior).

Everyone already knew, however, that Lance was pretty much destined to be Jack. He was charismatic and handsome, a wonderful actor, and an even better singer. The other role that was guaranteed was (and don’t freak out yet), was Katherine. It was destined to be Allura. Although they live in a small town, Allura was well-known for her angelic singing voice and beautiful appearance, and despite the “big fish, small pond” thing, everyone expected Allura to do great in her future of musical theatre. She is a senior, and ever since she was a freshman, she had obtained leads. Her freshman year she was Liza in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, her sophomore year, Wednesday Addams in The Addams Family, and last year she was Ariel for The Little Mermaid. No one expected her to get anything other than Katherine, but she was in no way snobby about it. She worked hard to obtain the role anyway, and treated everyone with respect and gorgeous smiles.

Matt’s little sister, Katie (who had forcefully intimidated everyone into calling her Pidge) had just begun her freshman year, being two years ahead of her class. Everyone knew this young, little ball of chaotic energy was going to be Les. She was small and threatening, what more could you get? Matt just hoped he could get to be Davey alongside her.

Hunk just kind of hoped to get one of the newsies in general, but also hoped he wouldn’t have to dance much. That’s not his forte. Honestly, he was just happy to be involved, and volunteered for crew if he didn’t get in cast! (but he’s been in the past two years so everyone constantly reassured him he’d get in).

And finally, Keith. I may have crushed some of your dreams by making Allura play Katherine, huh? Well guess what, I’ll make it all better. Keith hates theatre. Loves musicals, hated performing. His older brother, Shiro, the choir director, was constantly hounding him every year to do musical, but he could never convince him until this year, Keith’s Junior year, purely because of the show they were doing. Newsies had been one of Keith’s first favorite musicals, and he really couldn’t contain himself. He resigned himself to help with the crew. Maybe do lights so he could watch the show from the light booth, but nope. Shiro practically planned to shove him into the audition room if he had to. Shiro never really planned to play favorites, the other three directors, Adam, Coran, and Krolia were more likely to keep things fair, anyway. Even though Krolia was Keith’s mom. However, when Shiro came home from school one day, staying late to work grading some of his students’ history homework, he heard the shower running. And he heard Keith, literally belting a song from Newsies, perfectly in pitch. He KNEW he had to get Keith the role that had that song. And so, after audtions and careful consideration with his fellow directors, even maybe a little begging, he got Keith the role that may be a little uncomfortable, but Shiro knew he could do it. He absolutely knew. Keith was going to be Medda Larkin. (Oooh plot twist!

Basically plans are that Lance will see Keith in costume, having fully commited to the role after the two or so months of rehearsal, being confident and dressed as a fUCKING BURLESQUE STAR on stage and will basically die, okay? But I will get them a kiss onstage, just you wait. I’ll save some tricks for the actual fic.

In general, that’s what I have. Some other roles I have planned are:

• Zarkon - Pultizer (duh)

• Haggar - Hannah (Pulitzer’s secretary)

• Macidus - Seitz (Pultizer’s editor)

• James - Bunsen (Pultizer’s bookkeeper, basically a lackey)

• Lotor - Wiesel (newspaper stand guy, pretty intimidating & a great character)

• Zethrid - Morris Delancey (due to her strength & overall intimidation factor)

• Haxus - Oscar Delancey (honestly just picked because he works for Sendak)

• Ezor - A Newsie (due to her flexibility, useful for the dances they do)

• Acxa - A Newsie (due to her level-headedness & intelligence)

• Morvok - Snyder (the old villain who tries to capture Jack, picked for his cowardly and sadistic nature)

• Veronica - A Newsie, specically Specs (just because she’s great and deserves it lol)

• Kolivan - Spot Conlon (leader of the Brooklyn Newsies, an outside force that helps the Manhattan Newsies...seeing the connection??)

• The Arusian King [Named Neil Arus in the story cause he’s a highschool student not a king] - Nunzio/Teddy Roosevelt (idk cause Teddy is grand and whatnot why not a king?)

And the rest of the Manhattan Newsies (they will be assigned individual newsie names) will be: Shay, Rax, Rolo, Nyma, Ryner, Romelle, Olia, Ozar, (human)Beezer, Slav, Nadia Rizavi (not lance’s neice), Thace, Ulaz, Antok, Regris, and Luka

The people on crew (so far) will be: Narti & (human)Kova on sound crew, and Ryan & Ina on lights crew

Basically I had an idea and wanted to tell people, and suggestions would be really appreciated, as I actually do plan on making this a thing. What can I say? After months of writing block I finally got some inspiration.

Here’s my AO3 & Wattpad if you want to check out what I currently have. Sadly, nothing Voltron-related yet, but whatever.

[AO3] / [Wattpad]

iraprince

weird little brain tweak/reframing that helped me out. i Often find that advice that seemingly helps Everyone Else doesn’t make any sense to me, in ways that are hard to describe, and it can be really frustrating. but when i find a way to explain it to myself that finally seems to break through and make it click, it feels really good

arahir

use comic sans to write

i hate this so much but this knowledge is too powerful to keep from you all.

last night @phaltu discovered that setting your font to comic sans in google docs improves writing speed and creativity by an insane amount. “no” i said and “die” but then i tried it and god. i wish it wasn’t this way. i wish it wasn’t true. i wish i could protect you all from this but it’s real.

something about this font is so disarming. something about this font lets you look past the shape of the words and into their soul. i’ve never written so much as i did last night, on my phone, at 2am, in comic sans.

if you have writer’s block. if you lack inspiration. if you need this. don’t be afraid to use it. sometimes the things we find most horrifying are also the things we need the most. trust me. let comic sans into your life.

arahir

it’s true

serainechor

update: this actually works. i’m so angry.

5-5-k

my friend told me about this and I laughingly suggested it to my wife (who had a good number of essays to write and less than a week to write them). She finished 3 essays in 2 days using comic sans.

She was livid.