Thanks for listening

Friends call me Ty. Thoughts are loud; writing them down helps.

[ty-for-listening]

^my humor, in a nutshell

[ty-for-listening]

$12 Pie Burgerito

My nap coma led to this dream — a vision — of a truck-stop diner with one special: The Pie Burgerito. The idea was, you get dinner in one hand, dessert in the other. No sit down, just pick up and drive away. Twelve dollars. Take it or leave it.

Burgerito: It was a big tortilla, beans, fries, and burger fixins (meat, tomato, lettuce, cheese, fry sauce) - all wrapped in one of those aluminum foil burrito sleeves.

Pie: And, in addition, you’d get a slice of diner-style pudding pie in a plastic container: coconut cream, key lime, lemon merengue, chocolate, banana…

A Fourth of July prophecy. The Pie Burgerito (twelve dollars) must come to pass.

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[ty-for-listening]

so my insides are like Schrödinger’s vampire

[ty-for-listening]

Dude trying to impress me with his truck:

“It’s a manual”

Me, who misheard it as Immanuel: “Oh, holy car”

[ty-for-listening]

An irritable goblin in the feywilds:

“I came here to KICK BUTT and TAKE NAMES… and RIGHT NOW, I’M ALL OUTTA BUTT!”

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[ty-for-listening]

heart smart 😌 (I’m a bowl of Cheerios)

[fandom-man]

[ty-for-listening]

*grabs hand Actually, your honor, I was a part of this as well!

...they were hit with a WEhaul

[ty-for-listening]

Australian Vampire

Them: NAUR DRACULAUR, THE SOLAUR!

Draculaur: AURRRR, it BAURRRRNS

[ty-for-listening]

Vampire at an Interview

Them: So where do you see yourself—

Vampire: Let me stop you right there

[ty-for-listening]

(In the middle of a silly heated argument about germs)

Me: “That is not who you are! The person I love would have died a germaphobe until the day they died!”

Me: wait

[ty-for-listening]

Me, doing CPR breathing: *opens their mouth to breathe into*

Them: *shoots air directly into my mouth first*

Me: WHAT

[ty-for-listening]

Doctor, reading temperature: "101"

The doctor's hypeman: "whoa-hoa sick, dude"

The patient's hypeman: "bogus"

The patient's british butler: (with tissue in hand and germful disdain) "I believe it's pronounced bogey, sire ☝️"

The thermometer's emoticon, raising the roof: "lol"

[ty-for-listening]

“They still give me butterflies”

Dating - adorable, in love 🩷💛

Married for a long time - 🚩RED FLAG 🚩 You should be comfortable! Why are they still making you that nervous??

Married to an entomologist - heck yea

[gayhockeyshow]

Hey…. Hey… Characters covered in blood, okay? You remember characters covered in blood?? You used to love characters covered in blood

[ty-for-listening]

@serenity-and-syrup

[ty-for-listening]

Willy Wonka? or won’t he Wonka?

[cardinalmecha2]

Alex shared this on BlueSky.

This theory makes so much sense.. "Zooble, look at this cool bee I drew!" He was hoping to take Zooble's mind off their issues while also expecting praise because his creators were so proud of him for being able to make a bee. If his creators loved the bee, why wouldn't the humans trapped in the circus not like it? They're gonna be so proud!

Plus Caine put bees on all his important works. His personal notepad where he comes up with adventure ideas and the blueprints he gave to Abel. The bee provides him with inspiration and is a reminder that it's possible to have validation and that his work means something and is possible to be proud of.

[ty-for-listening]

Ok I love this but ALSO

There’s a theory about a THIRD ai, just like how Caine and Abel had another brother named Seth.

What if Caine’s obsession with bees is a hidden Easter egg?

A B C

Abel, “Bees” (Seth), Caine

??

[justarandomart]

you are my dad boogie woogie woogie

[ty-for-listening]

I read it in Gordon Ramsey’s voice and then all I could think was him saying “AN IDIOT SANDWICH” with caine

baby boy. you are a brilliant sandwich