Дибіл

196 refugee

[sewerfight-deactivated20250114]

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

[karrakazz]

do you think its easy being an idiot? do you think that being a fool is just a walk in the park? do you think that being a total fucking dumbass  is something that just happens?

[karrakazz]

do you think that being a complete chucklehead is something that comes naturally?

[karrakazz]

because youd be wrong. if you thought that, i mean.

[great-and-small]

A tragic scene:

My turtle notices the blueberry I put out for him but in his excitement he drops it into his pond. He considers a recovery mission on his own, then turns to me for assistance instead.

Fear not- the berry was retrieved and the turtle was able to enjoy it as intended

[freakoutgirl]

perhaps. i do want to be loved. unfortunate.

[i-love-linux-and-i-am-back]

they should make a dishwasher that you load with explosive powder and where you pull a large lever and it makes a big boom and the dishes are instantly clean

[ausgoth]

why is it making that face

[ausgoth]

i have to stop looking at dogs on wikipedia

[wiiwheel]

Say what you will about Reddit but sort by controversial is like one of the best features of all time... Want To See Some Bullshit button

[brian4rmthe6]

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[pankendev]

my human vaporizing machine continues to mistify people

[aflo]

Attempting to locate a new Greek restaraunt using my gyroscope

[i-am-a-fish]

hey pal, take it easy! you're scrolling with way too much intensity. look at this horse

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[azurele]

*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

[bonesbeetle]

compilation of my all-time favorite tweets