Hubris is A Coward's Word @cowardsword - Tumblr Blog

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just-deer-things

flicking my beautiful tail

flareonfloof

if you want to piss off a man just call him an "average he/him user" it's got a 3/3 success rate for me

animentality

cutekittenlady

This is yet another thing I thought Pratchett had made up but turned out to be totally real.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Unrelated but any time someone mentions clown makeup I'm reminded of how highly successful stage magician Penn Jillette almost flunked out of clown college and had to take remedial clown makeup classes.

cuprohastes

My father was a magician and a clown. When he died, we cleared out his old clotehs and there was his clown suit.

"Oh I'll take this down to the charity shop" said my mother, missing hte part where no sane person is going to wear a clown suit.

"Nah" said I, "Have them dress him in it when they cremate him."

There was a pause and my throw-away joke started to slowly solidify into 'Yeah let's do that'.

A discussion was had with the mortician who had a bit of a worry that the costume would involve giant clown shoes which would prevent the coffin closing.

Luckily it wasn't that sort of outfit.

I told this to my dear friend who immediately envisaged someone trying to close a coffin onto a dead clown, only to have the big red nose go *Sad honk* every time there was an attempt to close the lid.

The awful hilarity rendered her incapable of standing.

whumpster-fire

The poor mortician can't figure out why it still won't close, and has to remove 5 dead clowns from the coffin before it finally shuts.

recordspinner

I’m convinced trickster deities and creatures exist, and that this is their typical profession.

villainessbian

why would a trickster deity become a mortician

resetium

Clown.

villainessbian

Never call me that again or I'll squirt you with my flower and honk my nose and I'll blow the house down

evilwizard

sailatina3

Tgirl power fantasies: friends who genuinely like you unconditionally

sailatina3

And friends who wont betray and abandon you because they like someone else who hates you... or because you were making some mistake that they held a secret grudge over instead of communicating....

lil-phimosis

dogpuppy

kartprowler

Nyx attempting to answer a relatively simple question- Alt title; perpetual anxiety machine-

just-deer-things

antlers are progresing very good I will be the most magnificnet deer

captain-price-returns

New evidence has emerged of U.S. Coast Guard activity in the aftermath of two strikes, further corroborating survivor testimony.

The prosecutor investigating US boat strikes and torture allegations in Ecuador was assassinated.

We uncovered NASA images and videos of the US Coast Guard that corroborates the victims’ testimonies. Then, the prosecutor working the case was shot and killed in broad daylight.

bruzum

puppygirllaika

so. i just learned that my entirely me-written resume flags as being AI-written by automated HR systems for a few writing quirks and the fact that i followed all the rules of good resume writing, which is apparently a telltale sign of AI use in this fucking hellworld. i've been desperately applying to jobs that i am massively overqualified for for months with no response, not even an interview, and now i find out that at least part of the reason is because some fucking moron decided that following the rules every career advisor has given me for a decade means i cheated and should be disqualified. the ai bubble cannot pop soon enough. what the actual fuck.

puppygirllaika

"frequent use of action-result sentences. bullet points all start with action verbs. no career gaps." girl what the fuck are you talking about. that's just resume writing advice being followed. i just did what i was told. it's a fucking resume. you're supposed to do all that stuff. what the fuck do you mean it looks ai generated and wouldn't pass basic detection systems?????????? for following the resume writing rules????????????

puppygirllaika

wishing every AI bro and ceo a very [REDACTED]

moveslikekeithrichards

lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

moveslikekeithrichards

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

moveslikekeithrichards

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

kedreeva

if no one's said it, it's normal. It's just Tag with flavor. Tag is boring so you gotta add imagination.

Our baby knife as kids was Raptor Tag. Raptors hunt in packs so the person who was "it" had to run around pretending to be a velociraptor and to tag people they had to actually tackle them and "eat" them for 5 full seconds (others could come to the rescue and save them in that time, but risked getting eaten too or instead if the raptor switched targets). Eaten players then became raptors, until the whole pack was teamwork-hunting the last wily or lucky kid. There were no winning survivors- the game was won as a group once everyone was a raptor.

gallusrostromegalus

My kindergarten played "wolves" where a pack of 4-12 children, usually all the girls, would try to chase down and "kill" the deer (usually me)

I was bulled extensively in elementary school, but 1. Mostly by my teachers and 2. Not during this, because we ALL had PBS Nature and as Deer, I was allowed to gouge, kick, bite, keep running even after being grabbed, or body-check the larger children into the picnic tables and other architecture.

You know, for realism.

In point of fact, I was usually The Deer because I was the best at evading/ not going down without a fight, whereas most boys would just start crying or tattle, which is no fun at all.

derinthescarletpescatarian

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.

derinthescarletpescatarian

#We played Leeches (people run past you and you grab their legs and make them fall)#And Roadkill (body-slam your friends to the ground)#The teachers did not like these games

Your school would've loved Get Down, Mr President

strawberryrain

We played a version of freeze tag where when you were frozen you became a toilet and in order to be unfrozen someone would have to sit on you and then flush (ie use the toilet)

spyderqueen

We had Military Dodge. I want to be clear, we were the type of kids who hated Dodge Ball in Gym - which we considered some state sanctioned torture - but Military Dodge was fun because it was our choice to play or not, but it absolutely was mechanically worse. This may have existed on other playgrounds too, I don't know.

Players put their backs to the wall of the school building with one person currently in charge of throwing the ball as hard as possible at someone on the wall (we all wanted to see a brief imprint of "tioV" on the skin). You could try to dodge it but you had to stay against the wall. Torso shots were an auto out. If they hit a limb, you tucked it behind your body as if you'd lost it in combat. This actually meant legs were a more fun target than going straight for the torso as then you got a few rounds were a target could take additional limb hits because dodging was so much harder. Last player standing got to be thrower next round.

Eventually it was declared by teachers that the balls could only be used for kickball, funnelball or four square.

But yes, children crave Bloodsport.

sweaterkittensahoy

I don't recall inventing any games, but Red Rover was just an excuse to clothesline people or whip them to the ground as hard as you could. There were monkey bar wars, too. You'd start at opposite ends, then leg wrestle in the middle.

hollowedskin

I invented a game called "magpie" and told the kids at my new school that it was from my old school. The game was to get to the other side of the field without getting nailed by the magpie that roosted there.

I won every single game because my mum was a teacher and I had to spend hours at school after it closed so I fed the magpies and they recognized me. I invented the game because I suck at running, sick of losing every game, and it was really fun watching kids that were mean to me get nailed in the back of the skull by my friend, the magpie.

sorrysisxxx

i hope your vibrator dies before you cum

estrogenesis-vaporeongelion

oh good, i can't cum unless SOMETHING dies

prokopetz

You wouldn’t think that flamingoes are extremophiles just from looking at them. It’s like somebody tried to build the vertebrate equivalent of that fungus that lives inside nuclear reactors, and ended up with a gangly pink dinosaur with a spoon for a face.

calloutnevvegas

For everyone in the comments asking how flamingos are extremophiles:

Flamingos can survive in low oxygen, high altitude, high temperatures, low temperatures, high alkaline, they can and will drink boiling water and they can be completely frozen at night and still get up the next morning

Don’t fuck with flamingos

revretch

….. Didn’t know most of that

iamthekaijuking

Huh… so that’s why zoos don’t put them somewhere warm during winter.

revretch

Oh yeah, this leaves out what I *did* know about them–they can also survive hypersalinity. That is, water so salty it kills practically everything else–water so salty it burns your skin.

American flamingos just drink that shit

bogleech

(animal death) this is a real undoctored photograph (*though the body was stood up for the shot) of a dead flamingo on the surface of lake natron, a lake so salty and so alkaline that it’s naturally carbonated like soda and would eat through your stomach lining if you drank from it.

When this photo went viral years ago, most people assumed this poor flamingo must have been killed by the lake.

It is actually the lake where 75% of its global population are hatched. This is a photo from the same lake:

assuming-dinosaur

Some species of flamingo actually subsist almost entirely on a diet of bacteria! In other words, there is a species of dinosaur that eats only bacteria and lives in lakes so toxic they would kill almost anything else—and it is best known to the average person as a kitschy lawn decoration.

is-the-post-reliable

requested by anonymous:

RATING: RELIABLE

Flamingos can survive in high altitudes, hypersaline conditions, and caustic lakes.

Source: ‘All flamingo species have evolved to live in some of the planet’s most extreme wetlands, like caustic “soda lakes”, hypersaline lagoons or high-altitude salt flats.’

They can survive water so alkaline it burns human skin.

Source: ‘More than a million lesser flamingos breed in Tanzania’s Lake Natron, for instance, a lake fed by hot springs with water so alkaline that it can strip away human skin (one pioneering flamingo researcher named Leslie Brown spent months in Nairobi General Hospital after burning his legs wading out to observe where the birds nested).’

They can drink water at near-boiling temperatures.

Source: ‘They can drink water at near boiling point to collect freshwater from springs and geysers at lake edges. If no freshwater is available, flamingos can use glands in their head that remove salt, draining it out from their nasal cavity.’

The lakes they inhabit can freeze overnight, and the flamingos can survive once it thaws in the morning.

Source: ‘The birds may seem to epitomize the tropics, but they also live in the Andes, 15,000 feet above sea level, where they rest on lakes that freeze around them overnight.

“You’ll see them sitting there like snowballs, frozen on ice,” Dr. Arengo said. “And as the temperature warms up, they thaw out, fluff themselves up and go about their business.”’

The photo is indeed from Lake Natron, taken by photographer Nick Brandt. The content of the lake chemically preserves animal corpses that die there. You can see more photos of this here.

It is also true that 75% of Lesser Flamingos are hatches on Lake Natron.

Source: ‘The lake’s landscape is surreal and deadly—and made even more bizarre by the fact that it’s the place where nearly 75 percent of the world’s lesser flamingos are born.’

Some species of Flamingo eat cyanobacteria or algae.

Source: ‘Flamingos have very specialised diets. And their food is responsible for their famous pink colouration. The two species in Planet Earth II eat a lot of floating microscopic algae, which contains carotenoid pigments, the same types of chemical that make carrots orange. These pigments turn their feathers pink, orange and red – without them, flamingos would be white.’

adaginy

… @todaysbird ??

todaysbird

yeah they’re just like that

juney-blues

information that is also important

captain-price-returns

welele

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