Why did the chicken cross the road?Â
No one knows.
But the road will have its vengeance.
Three Goblin Art
Jules of Nature
h
hello vonnie
taylor price
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Kiana Khansmith
Stranger Things
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Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă

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Keni
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ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation

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@umbralwings
Why did the chicken cross the road?Â
No one knows.
But the road will have its vengeance.
give yourself the gift of reading your own fic. it was literally written just for you.
This post is getting a lot of reblogs with sentiments like, "when I do that all I see are the typos/mistakes" or "when I try, all I do is cringe" and I want people who feel that way to take a moment and reflect on why that is.
Do you cringe when you read someone else's story? Do you wince when you see a typo in someone else's work? Or are you holding yourself to a higher standard than you expect from others?
Perfectionism can be insidious. It creeps its way into our thoughts without us even noticing it. Perfectionism also leads to dissatisfaction and feelings of shame or guilt when we perceive ourselves as failing or feeling like an imposter when we experience a success.
I also used to wince when I saw a typo in something I posted online. Even now, if I notice a typo after I hit post here on tumblr, I'll edit the post in the hopes that the typo won't go far. But I also know that people will still understand what I mean to say, even if I messed up a word or two in the middle somewhere. Trusting my audience to understand me goes a long way to freeing myself from the shame of making a mistake.
I've also joked on here that "typos are just me adding enrichment to my readers' enclosure." I'm just memeing, but it's also an attitude that helps me worry less. Anyone who judges me for a typo isn't someone I'm going to enjoy spending time with and everyone else who might spot it is just getting a little bonus activity in with their read.
It can be really hard to love yourself, so start with finding compassion for yourself first. Forgive yourself the little mistakes. Be as understanding to yourself as a kind reader would be.
You write good stuff, and I hope someday you'll be able to enjoy it as much as the rest of us do.
I'm dying to find and interact with more writeblrs so uh. Interact with this if any of these apply to you:
You're 18+
You write speculative fiction
You are lgtbq+
You love messy media
You love reading or writing Dark fantasy, high fantasy, dark academia, gothic projects, or horror
You post snippets of your own writing
You play/get inspo from video games
And I'll check you out. Bonus points: rb this and tell me what your project is about.
Person A:Â âI donât know how you do that.â
Person B:Â âDo what?â
Person A:Â âMake everything sound like a threat. That man looked like he was about to piss himself, and all you did was ask him to step aside so that we could get past. Even when I actively try to sound threatening, no one takes me seriously.â
Person B:Â âThatâs because you look and sound, like the human personification of a warm hug.â
Helps if you narrow your eyes and tighten your diaphragm when you speak. Also take a deep breath and⊠hmmmm not quite sure how to explain it but you speak from a different part of your mouth. I learned it from my father.
-Navy Brat
Youâve always had ridiculously good luck. About to get hit by a car? Sudden burst of wind knocks you onto the strangely soft ground. Accidentally slip on the icy stairs? Miraculously find your footing as if someone had caught you and set you back on your feet. Not enough money to get home safely? Find the exact amount you need, two feet away in the gutter. Knock a cup of boiling hot coffee off the table? Somehow lands upright on the ground without spilling a drop. Person bullying you relentlessly? Abruptly looses their voice or trips over their own feet. Thereâs lots of other weird little things that happen, that just make your life brighter and easier, but there is one strange thing that youâve never really told anyone. Every time one of these things happen, you catch the faint scent of burning. Sometimes you catch the scent at other times, but you always smell that scent when some weird, lucky or happy little incident happens.Â
Lately, youâve been finding large beautiful feathers around the place, each singed, and carrying that familiar burnt smell.
Exasperated guardian angel thatâs been assigned to me: This bitch is too fucking clumsy. Whole goddamn 24/7 job is what it is.
The implication that the burning and loss of feathers is because the angel is stress shedding, is fucking hilarious. I love it, thank you.
Youâve just arrived on a seemingly untouched planet covered in vast jungles and other varied terrain. You found a message, carved in stone. According to your universal translator, it reads, âThis is not a place of honor⊠no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here⊠nothing valued is here.â
A blind mermaid lives in what they think is a magnificent coral reef, surrounded by friendly sea creatures. In reality they are in a boneyard surrounded by hideous sea monsters. The monsters decided to play along until their leader can find her real home.
âSo you abducted humans and forced them to create mining colonies on hellish planets?â âYes, we came around once every five years to demand tribute under threat of annihilation. Perfect scheme, very low maintenance.â âSo what went wrong?â âWe misplaced one of the coloniesâ.
Source: This
whatâs your personal âonce again weird but not technically a sinâ thing? (mine is watching videos of people eating hair brushes to fall asleep at night)
STOP TELLING ME THATâS A SIN THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE
Sometimes, if I have a professor I REALLY donât like, Iâll manually do times new bastard on a writing assignment, just to mess with them.
ok that is a sin actually but itâs justified
sometimes I forget orchids grow on trees and Iâm like. oh.
They do what now?
in the wild, most orchids grow on tree bark, a fact which will never not bring me a profound sense of delight
interestingly, orchids arenât parasitesâthey are just harmless squatters hanging out with their arboreal buddies. itâs a form of commensalismâone organism benefits, the other neither benefits nor is harmed.
OK but orchids ARE parasites. They just arenât parasites on trees. All orchids have this very bizzare lifecycle where they begin life as parasites on fungi. Hereâs the rough strategy:
1. Thereâs a tradeoff between how much nutrients can be in a single seed and how many seeds you can make. On one end is the double coconut, the largest seed in the world weighing as much as a small child but each double coconut palm tree makes relatively few seeds per individual per season. OR. Make a fuckton of seed that individually cost very little to make. A lot of your small nonwoody plants chose this option, grasses, dandelions, any little weeds usually.
2. But thereâs a limit to how far you can push this.
3. And by god orchids crossed it.
4. Orchid seeds are so fucking small they donât have the energy stores to fucking germinate.
5. Orchid seeds are so small that they only consist of a few cells that havenât decided whoâs going to be roots or leaves yet.
6. And this is great! If you preferred habitat is in trees where the ability to disperse from one treetop to the next and find the right little spot on that tree to survive as a seedling for a few years is really hard. Lots of seed that can float on the wind and find just that spot is great for that.
7. But shit for actually, you know, being alive.
8. But orchids are crafty bastards.
9. Most plants try very hard not to be colonized by fungi, thats usually not good.
10. But orchid seeds just let fungi in.
11. And how the turn tables.
12. Because they just start eating the fungi back.
13. And this is where it gets weird.
14. Orchids are easily in the running for most diverse plant family at nearly 30,000 different species
15. And every single fucking one of them is like this.
16. And worse than that most of them are dependent on a single species of fungus to do this for them, so they produce millions of seeds just so that one might find the one right fungus.
17. And then after that anything can happen.
18. Some orchids are nice and start paying back their hosts onve they get big enough to phtotosynthesize with nice sugars.
19. Some orchids move on to as many as 30 other fungal species throughout their lives.
20. Some complete bastards keep being parasites after they are big enough to photosynthesize on their own. Thatâs right, a plant that can make its own food is stealing from something that lives on dead leaves.
21. Some orchids just never grow out of it, orchids have turned into permanent parasites more often than any other group of plants because theyâre all parasites so becoming a full parasite is nbd.
22. And worse, most of these actually parasitize fungi that are symbiotic with forest trees that supply sugar to the fungi in return for better access to mineral nutrients, effectively making the orchids both parasites on the fungi and the trees, in a sense the whole ecosystem.
23. This leads to one more weird phenomenon. Mutant albino orchids unable to photosynthesize, of species that normally can photosynthesize, are often recorded as being able to reach maturity and flower without issue. because they just keep being parasites instead. Orchids can just. become parasites at will.
In conclusion orchids are just the weirdest fucking plants in the world. Technically all the above applies to this obscure group of ferns called the Ophioglossum family too. Same fucked up start out life as parasites and become independent (or not) later thing.
I saw a yt document about this just yesterday and itâs wild
Turns out, that on a large scale, itâs not cost effective to farm the fungi in order to farm orchids which can then be sold worldwide. So what happens is that flower producers go entirely different route - 100% sterility. Everything bleached. Seed pods washed by 70% alcohol. Seeds being grown in petri dishes. Basically, if there isnât the fungus to provide, people do. We know to the T what exactly in what amounds orchid seeds need, so we mix that stuff with agar jelly, sprinkle seeds over all of that, then wait several months to years until those bastards start growing. The process then continues in similar fashion until plants are capable of independent life at which point those, we have figured out, are given growth promoting substances in strategic spots in order to make the plant bloom. Adding that hormone to inactive bud on the flower stem makes it grow too and so we get those beautiful branched phalaenopsys orchids which then refuse to grow more flowers for 2+ years because they are close to collapsing from a) lack of fungy support and b)being forced to produce too many flowers. Remember this the next time you get your mom another of those 12+ flowers having beauties because her previous 3 are (half) dead.
Person A: âIâd ask how you did that, but considering the fact you have a habit of taking peoples expectations and yeeting them full force out the nearest window, thatâs⊠probably a stupid question.âÂ
Person B:Â âEh, to be fair, no one can accuse me of not thinking outside the box, if I never had a box to begin with. Besides, itâs hard for people to preemptively counter my plans, if the plans donât seem to make any sense.â
Person A:Â âHow did you get in here?! Our security is top of the line!â
Person B: âOh, I just knocked. Turns out your security system doesnât mean shit when your security team is full of idiotsâŠ. Also, you might want to call an ambulance.â
sometimes I forget orchids grow on trees and Iâm like. oh.
They do what now?
in the wild, most orchids grow on tree bark, a fact which will never not bring me a profound sense of delight
interestingly, orchids arenât parasitesâthey are just harmless squatters hanging out with their arboreal buddies. itâs a form of commensalismâone organism benefits, the other neither benefits nor is harmed.
OK but orchids ARE parasites. They just arenât parasites on trees. All orchids have this very bizzare lifecycle where they begin life as parasites on fungi. Hereâs the rough strategy:
1. Thereâs a tradeoff between how much nutrients can be in a single seed and how many seeds you can make. On one end is the double coconut, the largest seed in the world weighing as much as a small child but each double coconut palm tree makes relatively few seeds per individual per season. OR. Make a fuckton of seed that individually cost very little to make. A lot of your small nonwoody plants chose this option, grasses, dandelions, any little weeds usually.
2. But thereâs a limit to how far you can push this.
3. And by god orchids crossed it.
4. Orchid seeds are so fucking small they donât have the energy stores to fucking germinate.
5. Orchid seeds are so small that they only consist of a few cells that havenât decided whoâs going to be roots or leaves yet.
6. And this is great! If you preferred habitat is in trees where the ability to disperse from one treetop to the next and find the right little spot on that tree to survive as a seedling for a few years is really hard. Lots of seed that can float on the wind and find just that spot is great for that.
7. But shit for actually, you know, being alive.
8. But orchids are crafty bastards.
9. Most plants try very hard not to be colonized by fungi, thats usually not good.
10. But orchid seeds just let fungi in.
11. And how the turn tables.
12. Because they just start eating the fungi back.
13. And this is where it gets weird.
14. Orchids are easily in the running for most diverse plant family at nearly 30,000 different species
15. And every single fucking one of them is like this.
16. And worse than that most of them are dependent on a single species of fungus to do this for them, so they produce millions of seeds just so that one might find the one right fungus.
17. And then after that anything can happen.
18. Some orchids are nice and start paying back their hosts onve they get big enough to phtotosynthesize with nice sugars.
19. Some orchids move on to as many as 30 other fungal species throughout their lives.
20. Some complete bastards keep being parasites after they are big enough to photosynthesize on their own. Thatâs right, a plant that can make its own food is stealing from something that lives on dead leaves.
21. Some orchids just never grow out of it, orchids have turned into permanent parasites more often than any other group of plants because theyâre all parasites so becoming a full parasite is nbd.
22. And worse, most of these actually parasitize fungi that are symbiotic with forest trees that supply sugar to the fungi in return for better access to mineral nutrients, effectively making the orchids both parasites on the fungi and the trees, in a sense the whole ecosystem.
23. This leads to one more weird phenomenon. Mutant albino orchids unable to photosynthesize, of species that normally can photosynthesize, are often recorded as being able to reach maturity and flower without issue. because they just keep being parasites instead. Orchids can just. become parasites at will.
In conclusion orchids are just the weirdest fucking plants in the world. Technically all the above applies to this obscure group of ferns called the Ophioglossum family too. Same fucked up start out life as parasites and become independent (or not) later thing.
Hey btw, if you're doing worldbuilding on something, and you're scared of writing ~unrealistic~ things into it out of fear that it'll sound lazy and ripped-out-of-your-ass, but you also don't want to do all the back-breaking research on coming up with depressingly boring, but practical and ~realistic~ solutions, have a rule:
Just give the thing two layers of explanation. One to explain the specific problem, and another one explaining the explanation. Have an example:
Plot hole 1: If the vampires can't stand daylight, why couldn't they just move around underground?
Solution 1: They can't go underground, the sewer system of the city is full of giant alligators who would eat them.
Well, that's a very quick and simple explanation, which sure opens up additional questions.
Plot hole 2: How and why the fuck are there alligators in the sewers? How do they survive, what do they eat down there when there's no vampires?
Solution 2: The nuns of the Underground Monastery feed and take care of them as a part of their sacred duties.
It takes exactly two layers to create an illusion that every question has an answer - that it's just turtles all the way down. And if you're lucky, you might even find that the second question's answer loops right back into the first one, filling up the plot hole entirely:
Plot hole 3: Who the fuck are the sewer nuns and what's their point and purpose?
Solution 3: The sewer nuns live underground in order to feed the alligators, in order to make sure that the vampires don't try to move around via the sewer system.
When you're just making things up, you don't need to have an answer for everything - just two layers is enough to create the illusion of infinite depth. Answer the question that looms behind the answer of the first question, and a normal reader won't bother to dig around for a 3rd question.