i cld never shave bush not just bc im morally opposed to it but also bc what would i play with when im lying in bed thinking…a bush is the beard of the modern day philosopher
Daniel Cleaver x fem!Reader (18+)
🖋️- 02/14/2025
🔏 - 02/15/2025
⏳ - 3038 words
⚠️CW - 18+ NSFW, brief p in v, general smut, cheating (dont do it), debauchery and devious acts, mentions of drug and alcohol use, cigarette smoking, Daniel Cleaver again (im sorry), small Mark Darcy appearance at the end (sorry again)
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Author’s Note - been planning this little stunt for a while (but of course I wait until the last minute to write it). I was going to say that this isn’t good but now that it’s done, I definitely believe it’s good and I hope you like it. If you cant tell by the song, it’s inspired by “But It’s Better If You Do” by Panic! At the Disco. Stay tuned for the next two parts coming this weekend, this trilogy will be wild. And no, I don’t want to hear about the logistics of them not recognising each other with just face masks on. I didn’t come up with the entire concept, I’m just filling in the fun details. This is also only partially edited. So if there are any egregious errors, return in about a day or two and they might be fixed. Timex Part ii WILL exist, I promise! But Valentine’s Day arrived so quickly and I told myself I’d do this idea for the holiday!!
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I looked over the ornate invitation a couple more times before exiting my car.
Rarely would I ever attend such an event but I had been in need of some excitement.
A certain line on the invite stuck in my mind as i secured bronze eye mask to my face:
‘Consider bringing a spouse or partner along. Or don’t.. if you would be so bold.’
“Are you busy on the 14th of February, dear?” I had asked my fiancé.
He paused and thought in silence, as he always did. “Busy with work that day, love. So sorry.” he said finally.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. What was new? All he ever did was work.
“That’s alright,” I had responded. I repeated it again to myself there in the car as I pulled the diamond engagement ring from my finger and placed it in the locked glove compartment.
I checked the invite once more for the address; this place looked .. abandoned. Certainly no place for a party. It was located in an older part of London, tucked into an alleyway. A proper secret hideaway, one that I wouldn’t have noticed if I weren’t looking for it.
I knocked on the heavy metal door, not sure what to expect. A moment later, footsteps sounded and a small opening in the door slid to the side.
“Password…?” Came a soft voice from within. I furrowed my brows at the invite and spoke loud and clear to the person on beyond the door.
“Vices and virtues.”
The opening shut and a lock clicked open. The heavy door opened slowly with a loud, ominous creak. I swallowed hard, wondering if this was honestly a good idea. But I was nothing if not a curious bitch with a desperate need for more excitement.
I turned around the door to thank whoever let me in and found myself shocked when there was no one there. A chill ran down my spine as I searched the dark corner with my eyes before continuing on.
Dance music played in the distance growing louder as i approached the main room. The smell of cigarettes and something illicit hit me before I entered. The room was full of different people, all hiding their identities with some form of mask on their faces. Various attendees crossed the room in all directions around of me, each of them lost in their own conversations.
I grew disoriented as I navigated the crowd, nearly bumping into a group doing lines of coke off of a glass top table. My chest tightened as I excused myself from them and I sighed in relief when I finally stumbled to a bar.
‘My god, I’m truly past my days of partying, aren’t I?’ I thought to myself.
“This crowd too much for you?” A voice said behind me, making me jump. The bartender stood there, a young man with slicked back dark brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He even wore a mask of his own, a white one adorned with gold filigree on the edges and decorated with black music notes.
He chuckled lowly at my jumpy reaction and sipped his own drink, a peach and lime daiquiri. “Didn’t mean to startle you, miss. Is this your first time here?”
I nodded slowly and settled myself onto the barstool. “It is. I haven’t been to a party like this in ages.”
He began to mix up a drink, something that looked light and refreshing. “Well, try not to overthink anything. Or overdo it. Most people are just here to have a good time. In more ways than one.”
He glanced to a couple further down the bar who were … very interested in each other. I looked for a moment and widened my eyes at the sight.
“Well.. I’d be lying if I said I had come here for anything different.” I admitted to the bartender.
“I can guarantee, miss, there’s plenty of people here who would be more than willing to get lost in you.” He responded.
“Do you know anything about who’s throwing this party? And who invited all these people?” I asked him, taking out my invitation.
The bartender sucked air through his teeth and shook his head apologetically while he continued the drink in a silver shaker. “No, miss. Afraid I don’t. I get an invitation, same as you lot. I come in, make the drinks, I’m paid on the way out, and that’s that. And I get paid enough to not ask questions.”
I sighed and nodded in understanding while i watched him strain the drink into a glass and begin on an orange garnish. “But I’ve worked these parties enough times to know how they go,” He slid me the drink as he finished and I took a sip, feeling myself physically relax.
He paused for a moment and took a hard look at me. His brow furrowed momentarily as he looked from me to the crowded room.
“You know, I saw a gentleman earlier with a mask quite similar to yours,” He said gingerly as he scanned the people around the room. I turned in my seat to look as well, surprised.
“You did..? That’s… is that common at these types of parties?” I ask, turning back to the bartender who was wearing a satisfied smile.
“I wouldn’t say common but, it happens,” He nodded behind me and I looked again, this time catching him. A tall gentleman in a black suit, wearing a bronze mask that indeed looked oddly similar to my own.
“When it does happen,” the bartender said, having leaned closer to me. “I like to think of it as a sign.”
My brows raised at him and he shrugged wordlessly, returning to his own dignified beverage. He said nothing else to me as I finished my drink and pondered my decision.
‘What the hell…’ I thought. ‘That’s what you’re here for.’
I left the glass on the bar and slid from the stool to walk to the man. He seemed to notice me right away, a subtle smile forming on his lips. I returned the look and stopped a bit further from him as some party goers walked in front of me. From what I could tell, he was surely handsome. And a breath of fresh air compared to what waited for me at home.
Whatever that bartender had put in my drink seemed to have an effect on me, or maybe it was the atmosphere of the party finally pulling me in. Whichever it was, it had made me far more confident. Or at least extremely bold.
I strode across the room to the man, feeling my heels click on the concrete floor below.
When i reached him, he smirked wordlessly at me and only paused a moment before leaning down to press his lips to mine. I didn’t object, instead sliding my hands up to his broad shoulders and sighing. The man held me to him and for a moment, everything around us faded away. The music became muffled along with the voices of the crowd around us and nothing else seemed to matter.
Not the party. Not the people. Not the drugs. And certainly not my fiancé back in his office at work, no doubt. Just me and this illustrious stranger.
Before I knew it, we were moving from the main room down a hallway off to the side. Several doors were at varying degrees of openness, revealing the rather unholy acts being committed in the rooms around us. When we reached an empty one, I wasted no time at pulling my new lover back to me. My tongue slid across his lip and made its way into his mouth as his hands caressed along my back gently. I felt the zipper of my dress slowly falling and my dress gradually slipping from my body, eventually ending up a pool of black velvet on the floor.
The man’s suit jacket and shirt went as well, tossed carelessly to a corner as I pushed him to the red velvet bed adorned with various pillows and blankets. I kneeled down by the edge of the bed to pull down his trousers and pants beneath them, revealing a large and erect cock. The man let out a groan and let his head fall back as i stood and straddled his waist over the bed.
‘His .. voice, it’s.. no, it’s nothing.’
I smiled as I leaned over him and kissed him once more, our masks gently tapping against each other.
I gasped and released a long moan as i sank down on his length, pausing immediately to adjust to his size. My breathing was heavy as i planted my hands on his chest to keep myself up. Soft, slight moans slipped from my lips as I lowered myself onto him, finally settled when he was fully inside.
I slowly shifted my hips, unable to shake the feeling that this was all … familiar. His voice, his groaning and moaning. His hair, his eyes. His cock…
It was all faintly familiar somehow. I opened my eyes to look at him once again and noticed his mask.. slipping.
I did what i knew I shouldn’t have done. But curiosity got the better of me in the moment. My hand trailed up from his chest, to his neck, and eventually to his face where I lifted his bronze mask…
“DANIEL??” I shrieked, entirely too loud. He jumped, suddenly startled, and so did I - directly off his cock.
I stared in horror at him, finally taking it all in. It was HIM. My ex boyfriend. That I hadn’t seen in TWO YEARS. I tore my own mask from my face and let it fall on top of my discarded dress.
“(Y/N)??” He responded, suddenly also aware of the situation.
We both stuttered and stammered at one another, each trying to simultaneously explain ourselves and scold the other person.
“What on EARTH are you doing here??”
“What am I doing? What are YOU doing?? I thought you despised parties!?”
“I swear to god, Cleaver, you orchestrated this whole thing, didn’t you? Like a pathetic Jay Gatsby??”
“Me?? Oh please, (Y/N), like I’d invite you and that fiancé of yours if I did!”
My hands shook with frustration as I began to gather my dress. “I will NOT do this Daniel, not again! I left you for a reason-“
I turned from him, tired of his voice, and began to dress myself. Daniel then paused and scoffed at me. “Oh, well… that’s too bad, (Y/N)! I could honestly tell you were enjoying it. Seems like you needed a good fuc-“
I sighed hard and turned around to kiss him again, furiously this time. Unfortunately, he was right. I *did* need a good fuck.
When the deed was done, the room was eerily silent compared to how it had been a few moments ago. Daniel and I sat quietly and civilly beside each other on the bed, each smoking a cigarette. The room was beginning to become foggy, the ceiling clouded with the noxious blue smoke from the nicotine sticks. I felt more relaxed than I had in a year. Unfortunate to say, I really needed that. Needed this. Needed him.
“So, how’s life treating you..?” Daniel asked nonchalantly. I immediately scoffed at him and rolled my eyes, taking a drag on my cigarette.
“Oh please.. spare me. If I wanted small talk, i would’ve stayed home.”
“Oh?” Daniel mused. “Trouble in paradise..?” I glared at him and his shit-eating grin. “Is Arsey Darcy not all you thought he’d be….?”
I rolled over and stared at the other wall ignoring him, as Daniel chuckled behind me.
“Ah, no more engagement ring? Call off the wedding did you? A shame, really.”
I furrowed my brows and panicked for a moment at the feeling of my ring being missing before I remembered I had left it in the car. I sighed and sat up, taking a long inhale of my cigarette. “Nope… No, still very engaged. And so ready to be married.” My sarcastic tone was so obvious, it almost sounded scripted. “The wedding is in a week.”
Daniel reacted, recoiling. “Oh dear, a week? And you’re here?? Alone, and with no engagement ring on?? My god, he must’ve really screwed it up… Not that I’m shocked by that, though.”
Daniel’s surprise changed to satisfaction as he leaned back casually and breathed in his cigarette. “I supposed he wasn’t actually worth it after all.”
The venom in his tone was undeniable and it stoked the flames of anger that had already grown inside me. I huffed and tossed a velvet pillow at his head, groaning as he laughed. “Oh, it’s so funny, isn’t it? What about that woman you slept with behind my back, then? Brenda, or Brandy, or whatever her name was?”
Daniel’s expression changed and he looked away from me. I nodded and it was my turn to laugh. “Oh, I see. Divorcing her soon?”
Daniel put out his cigarette and took a moment. “No. We never married.”
He was uncharacteristically quiet when he said that. He seemed genuinely defeated, truly upset about the situation perhaps. It made me quiet in response, my grin fading. I flicked my cigarette ashes into the tray and took another deep drag.
“I uhh… I left here there. In the church,” Daniel admitted quietly. Something about his tone pulled at my heart in an annoying way.
Why did I feel bad for him?
“I just couldn’t bring myself to do it… with her,”Daniel looked to me then, his blue eyes meeting my (y/ec) ones, and for a moment … I remembered the time when I loved him.
I paused and thought of the night we ended things. The night we caught each other. The look on the girl’s face as she realised who I was. How Daniel looked when he saw me with his best friend. I remembered how it felt when Mark Darcy confessed his feelings for me, and told me that I deserved more than what Daniel was willing to give me. I thought of him at work, late at night so he could afford to buy me nice things and plan the wedding we were to have in a week.
All of it flooded back to me then as I sat nearly naked beside the man who had cheated on me, and whom I had cheated on. And it dawned on me.
“We’re… bad people, aren’t we?”
“The worst.”
We both sighed in unison, sitting with our silence for a few moments. My eyes drifted to Daniel, slowly meeting his again.
And we laughed.
I stood without another word and retrieved my dress, and Daniel did the same with his own clothes. I felt his warm hands on my skin as he helped me zip my dress in the back, careful and gentle like he used to be when we were together. Like when he would help me get dressed to attend his company parties.
A commotion beyond our room broke our quiet moment, startling us both. We took our masks and went to open the door, just as it opened on its own - revealing the bartender.
He grinned at us, a mischievous and entertained expression as he stuck his head into our room. “I do hate to intrude but, the police have arrived.”
Me and Daniel both reacted in unison, gasping. “Police?? What on Earth for?” Daniel asked in shock.
“Well, the drugs, of course. But follow me, I’ll get us out. I know a way.” The bartender responded effortlessly. He disappeared from the room and began to walk in the opposite direction of the main room which had fallen to chaos since we were last in there. Daniel and I rushed to keep up, following close behind as the odd bartender weaved in and out of dark unused hallways walled with bricks.
Eventually, we reached a set of metal doors which the bartender pushed open and walked us onto the street. The cold February winter hit me hard, sending a chill across my body. I couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, hearing the police sirens around the corner. Daniel laughed with me, the both of us doubling over in our amusement.
“Oh my god, of course this would happen,” I said when I recovered. I turned to thank the bartender who helped us, but found myself confused when he was nowhere in sight. Daniel was equally as confused, looking up and down the alleyway and street for him, to no avail.
“Strange chap, truly..” Daniel said finally. I nodded in agreement and looked at my mask in my hand. Daniel looked to his own and back to me with a grin.
“We mustn’t tell anyone about what happened here,” I said firmly.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Daniel responded. We nodded to each other and tossed our masks against the brick wall behind a few discarded crates. They landed together with a subtle click, falling into the snow quietly. I waved as i walked in the direction of my car, while Daniel went the opposite way down the alley waving as well.
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“Other news: police raided a secret party near Old London last night, making several arrests and collecting evidence of various different illicit substances,” The newscaster said sternly on the telly the next morning. I rubbed my eyes sleepily as i poured myself some tea and went to the table beside Mark Darcy who was reading the paper.
I eyed my magazine casually, flipping through the glossy pages as Mark glanced up at the screen for a moment. “My god, how ridiculous. Such frivolous nonsense lead to so many arrests. I would never engage in such debauchery in my life.”
I scoffed out a laugh and looked up to the screen myself. There showed a photo of two bronze masks lying in the snow outside of the building. They were set almost perfectly next to each other, making for a wonderful and ironically pleasing image as the newscaster droned on about the raid.
“Oh I agree completely, dear. I wouldn’t be caught dead in a place like that.”
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Of course, let me know what you think! Sorry to edge you with a short smut scene but part iii will make up for it hopefully. Part ii will hopefully be out by tonight for everyone’s viewing pleasure! And if you’d like to be tagged in the next two parts, just let me know!🫀Happy Valentine’s Day!
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