I've been tagged by my love @bidisasterevankinard quite a few times this week, and I finally have sth to share!
From chapter 3 of Sunny Days
Who doesn't love baby bi Buck trying to convince himself that what he feels for Tommy is totally bro stuff?
"Who's Tommy?", Maddies asks curiously, seeing the name when Buckâs phone lights up on the counter with a new text from Tommy.
Buckâs not sure why he blushes at the question, or why a small part of him doesnât really want to tell her about Tommy. Perhaps because Tommy is the one new thing in Buck's life that doesn't tie back to his accident.
"Look at you going all social", Maddie tries to tease, but Buck can hear the actual pride and relief at her voice.
He's not sure how to feel about it. That his sister is proud of him for⊠going out and living his life? Meeting people on his own? At the same time it warms his chest, it feels⊠Weird. It doesn't feel right for Maddie to be proud of him for something that used to be⊠simple. Normal.
Buck doesn't answer, pretending to be busy getting ready for PT. He wonders, though, if any of those feelings shows on his face, because Maddie's expression shifts to a slightly guilty one.
"I just mean it's good to see you up and about, you know? You're not the kind to enjoy long periods of rest", she says with a small shrug, and Buck chuckles despite himself.
"I am really not", he agrees, picking up his phone to answer Tommy ('yeah! I have PT right now, but will pass by later?').
Buck slips the phone into his pocket after Tommy's immediate reply ('Cool! I'll be here :)'), a small smile tugging at his lips. When he looks up, Maddie's looking at him with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow, a smirk forming on her face.
"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd think this Tommy person was a crush of yours"
Buck almost loses his balance in surprise, and Sunny rushes to his side, agitated. He quickly calms her down with a couple pats to the head, but she remains by his side, her gaze fixed on him.
"T-Tommy's a guy", he scoffs, cursing the blush taking over his cheeks. "I'm straight"
"I know. That's why I said if I didn't know any better", Maddie says placatingly, but there's a curiosity on her face that reminds Buck of when they were kids â when she could always tell when he was lying.
Except Buck's not lying this time.
Right?
He is straight. Sure, sometimes a cute guy passes by him and he checks out his ass, but that's normal, right? Everyone does that.
And he definitely doesn't have a crush on Tommy. It's just⊠It has been a long time since Buck's had a new friend.
Surely eagerly waiting for texts and smiling when they arrive is something you do when you have a new friend⊠right?
Np tagging @typicalopposite @dark-alice-lilith @ambernotember @corporatebanana and anyone else who'd like to share sth today <3
not using AI genuinely feels like the rest of the world is experiencing some kind of mass amnesia. if someone says they never use it, the immediate response is that can't be true because "everyone" uses it to write their emails or answer their questions. saw a comment suggesting that not using chatgpt to write an essay is "like the 90s". girl I graduated in 2021 and we weren't doing that! how is it that everyone has suddenly forgotten that they were entirely capable of doing these things all by themselves for their entire lives up until the past few years!! am I going crazy!!!
wait everyone out in the tags where u were when u found out about the nationwide/global covid shutdown. i was eating a bag of chips on the roof of the remote building where i was leading a retreat and i had to help break the news to 50 high school students who didnât have their phones
Trying Not To Love You (Only Makes Me Love You More) // Chapter 13: Only Makes Me Love You More
Buck and Tommy get divorced after a devastating loss, only for Buck to find out afterwards that he's pregnant again with Tommy's baby forcing them to navigate their grief, anxieties, how to co-parent as a divorced couple, and the fact that they're both still very much in love with each other
chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, chapter 12
Mature, Complete, Chapter 13/13, 3.8k words, read below or on ao3
Thankfully Buck and Luca were both doing incredibly well after the birth, meaning they were able to be discharged from the hospital the next day. Tommy and Buck were already exhausted, but the relief from everything going well and their immediate all consuming love of their son kept them powering through. They carefully buckled him into the carseat and soon the little family was in Tommyâs truck driving home. Buck had decided to sit in the backseat with the baby, and Tommy turned the radio off so they could still easily talk to each other.
âThis almost doesnât feel real,â Buck admitted to Tommy, though his eyes remained glued to his son. His perfect son- 6 pounds 4 ounces, 20 inches long, with brilliant dark blue eyes, a head of soft light brown hair, cupidâs bow lips, and his dadâs cleft chin. âI keep pinching myself.â
âI know,â Tommy stole a glance at Evan in the rearview mirror. Evan looked tired and couldnât wait to shower when they got home, but that didnât stop Evan from smiling at their son, and Tommy was certain it was the most beautiful thing heâd ever seen. Tommy continued talking to Evan, âHonestly I was worried that all Iâd be able to think or feel was sadness that we didnât get this with Cassie, and I mean those feelings are there a little, but they arenât the focus, if that makes sense?â
âAbsolutely,â Buck promised, âI- I feel the same, I think. And Iâm glad, you know? I donât want him to live in- in the shadow of what we could have had with Cassie.â
âYeah,â Tommy nodded, âSheâs still there, she absolutely does matter, but she doesnât matter more than Luca.â
âExactly.â Buck agreed.
âAre May and Maddie waiting at the house for us?â Tommy asked. Such had been discussed earlier in the day, but he hadnât heard any final confirmation yet.
âYes, and they canât wait to meet him.â Buck smiled down at his son. His cheeks were starting to ache already but he just couldnât help himself.
âI donât blame them, heâs pretty great,â Tommy grinned.
âI think May also canât wait for us to see the nursery,â Buck pointed out.
âCan you blame her?â Tommy countered. âI know Iâm excited to see it.â
âMe too. She definitely kept it a secret long enough.â
They soon arrived home where Maddie and May were waiting excitedly for them to arrive.
âWelcome home guys,â Maddie smiled as Buck and Tommy came through the door.
âThanks Maddie,â Buck told Maddie as he walked past her with the carseat in hand.
âThe nursery is totally finished including washing all the baby clothes as of yesterday, and today we prepped a bunch of food for you too so you can grab and go or toss it in the oven quickly and not have to put in much effort,â May explained. âPlus Iâm always totally happy to bring over take-out in exchange for some time with the baby.â
âOoo yes, same here,â Maddie quickly agreed.
âWeâll be sure to keep it in mind.â Tommy told them with a chuckle. âThanks for doing that for us.â
âOf course.â Maddie nodded.
âAlright,â Buck said as he freed his son from the carseat. âHere he is, this is Luca Ryan Buckley-Kinard,â He held the baby up to show him off to his aunts. âHe was awake in the car but he managed to fall asleep somewhere between the truck and the house.â
âOh my god,â May nearly squealed.
âHeâs beautiful,â Maddie gushed.
âWhoever wants to hold him first can take him as soon as your hands are washed,â Buck added.
âWhy donât we let Maddie take him first and I can show you guys the nursery?â May suggested.
âSure,â Tommy agreed.
Quickly Maddieâs hands were washed and Luca passed off to her- the baby hardly stirring as he was passed over- then May led Tommy and Buck down the hall to the nursery. âSo I know for Cassie you guys didnât really have a theme for the nursery, but I saw some really cute inspo pics for this theme and I just kinda thought it was perfect, so,â May pushed the door open, âAmongst the stars it was.â
Two of the walls in the room had been painted a dark blue and covered with countless white hand-painted stars and a crescent moon, while the other two walls had been left white with decor items on them. Some of the stars in the mural were bigger and more star-shaped, while others were simple small dots or circles. The crib and matching change table were crisp white, the crib sheet was navy blue, and the room decor was all white and yellow star-theme. There was a large comfy cream coloured rocking chair in the corner along with a book shelf, and some very tastefully hung soft-yellow fairy lights.
âThis is beautiful,â Buck murmured as he took in the nursery. It was far more than heâd expected May to do, and everything he couldâve possibly wanted for his son.
âNo wonder it took you so long to get this all done,â Tommy commented as he continued looking over all the details. Clearly May had put in a ton of effort and he wasnât sure he could begin to describe how grateful he was. âThis is incredible.â
âYou really like it?â May asked nervously. The nursery was good, she knew that, but she was suddenly unsure if Buck and Tommy would actually like it.
âI love it. Seriously. Thank you,â Buck told May as sincerely as he could.
âYes, thank you, May,â Tommy echoed.
âYouâre welcome. I mean it, Iâm happy I could help,â May smiled. âThereâs also a bassinet and some baby supplies in your bedroom too. I hope you donât mind that I went in there, I just figured youâd probably want him close by for the first little while, and I wanted everything to be ready-â
Buck tried to blink back tears as he pulled May into a tight hug. She really had thought of everything, and he was so grateful. âThank you,â he murmured again.
May hugged Buck back, âOf course. Anytime.â
Two days later, Sal and Gina were finally able to come visit and meet the baby. Sal had been on shift and when he hadnât been theyâd been unable to get someone to watch their daughters on such short notice. As much as the girls wanted to meet their new cousin, Gina was not willing to subject Buck to three high-energy and over-excited young kids so soon after giving birth. Buck and Tommy had been enjoying their time with their son and settling into their new normal. Theyâd had a couple other visitors in-between- Chimney and Jee-Yun, as well as Athena- and facetimed with Buckâs parents so they could meet the baby too.Â
When Sal and Ginna arrived for their visit Tommy greeted them seeing as Buck was in the nursery changing Lucaâs diaper and changing his outfit, which gave Gina and Sal a chance to wash their hands in preparation for holding the baby.
âAlright guys,â Buck smiled as he brought the baby into the living room. âHere he is.â
Sal eagerly rubbed his hands together, âLetâs see the little fella.â
Buck smiled as he carefully passed the baby over to Sal.
Gina scooted closer to Sal- if that was even possible- and looked at the baby in her husbandâs arms. âOh heâs perfect,â She looked over at Buck.
âHe got a name yet?â Sal glanced up at Tommy.
Buck sat down next to Tommy and looked to Tommy to answer Salâs question.
Tommy sat up a little more and looked at his friends. âHe does. Sal, Gina, this is Luca Ryan Buckley-Kinard,â Tommy announced. âSalvatore felt a bit too Italian for him to pull off, Gina felt a little too feminine, and Deluca doesnât quite make a good first name, so we had to go with Luca,â he added in explanation.
Ginaâs jaw dropped in shock, âYou named him after us?â
âYou two have done so much for us,â Buck pointed out. âI mean, if it werenât for Sal Tommy might not even be here. Who better to name him after then maybe- if you guys are willing- his godparents?â
Sal looked at Gina. Gina looked down at Luca, then back up at Sal and smiled- the two of them having a silent conversation. Sal turned back to Buck and Tommy, âWeâd be honoured.â
âAbsolutely.â Gina echoed.
Tommy and Buck smiled at their friends.
After Sal and Gina left, Buck and Tommy spent the rest of the night snuggled up together on the couch and later Tommyâs bed taking turns holding Luca, marveling at their son. When they both started to get tired, they ensured Luca had been fed, changed, rocked to sleep, and settled down in his bassinet, before they climbed into bed themselves.
Buck stared up at the ceiling in the dark for a moment before he turned towards Tommy. âIs it just me or- or does it really feel like- like weâre gonna be okay now? Like weâre gonna make it?â Buck asked. âI mean I- I know theoretically something bad could happen, but at- at least for me I think I feel like we could handle it, you know? Weâve made it through the worst of the worse, and now even if something bad happens, I- I guess it feels like we could actually get through it and be okay?â
âYeah, I get what you mean. I feel the same way.â Tommy smiled softly at Evan.
Buck smiled back and stole a quick kiss from Tommy before snuggling under the blankets to go to sleep. âNight Tommy,â He murmured.
âGoodnight Evan,â Tommy hummed and kissed Evanâs head before also settling in for the night.
Two Years Later
âWait,â Maddie stopped Buck and fixed his tie one last time, even if it probably was unnecessary. âThere.â
âPerfect,â May chimed in.
âIâll go make sure Tommy and Luca are ready and then we can get this show on the road,â Maddie said and slipped out of the room.
âHow are you feeling?â May asked Buck.
âGood, maybe a little antsy, but really just excited,â Buck decided.
âGood. Youâve got this,â May smiled at Buck. âSee you out there.â
âThank you.â Buck smiled back and checked himself over in the mirror once more as May slipped out of the room.
Did it feel a little ridiculous to have a whole wedding for his second marriage to the same man? Maybe a little, but Buck didnât really care. This time felt different. Last time was a much bigger, more formal wedding for two people who didnât know how to communicate with each other when things got tough. This time was different. It was a small wedding in their backyard with only close friends and family, celebrating two people who had gone through something terrible together and fought like hell to come out stronger on the other side.Â
Buck had thought he might feel nervous but he didnât. All he felt was excitement and content. Itâd taken a lot for him and Tommy to get to where they were now, but it had been worth it. The last two years hadnât always been easy, but Buck and Tommy had put in the work to be better. They attended their couples counseling religiously, and had learned how to actually properly communicate with each other in ways theyâd never been able to before. It didnât mean things were always perfect between them now, but at least when things werenât perfect they knew how to cope with it a lot better.
It wasnât long until Buck and Tommy were walking down the makeshift aisle, each holding one of Lucaâs hands. Theyâd wanted him to be included in the wedding as much as possible, as they didnât just see the re-marriage as being about the two of them, but about their family as a whole. It only felt right to them that the light of their lives be included. The seats on either side of the aisle were filled with the Han family, the Deluca family, the Wilson family, the Buckley parents, May, Ravi, Harry, and Lucy. The only empty seats were the three intentionally empty ones at the front- meant for Tommyâs mom, Bobby, and Cassandra.
Athena (who was officiating) smiled at Buck and Tommy as they approached the flower-arch that made up the âaltarâ. With a nod to confirm they were ready to start, Athena began her speech as pre-planned with Buck and Tommy, âOn behalf of Tommy and Buck, thank you all for being here today. I know this isnât the first time,â
Everyone in the audience chuckled a little.
Athena continued, âBut I feel confident when I say this will be the last. We all know Buck and Tommy have had their ups and downs the last several years. Losing their daughter Cassandra nearly tore them apart, but in the end they fought to come back to each other, and Tommy and Buck built something beautiful. Something stronger than what they had before. Something worth celebrating, and that is why we are here today, to witness these lovesick fools say âI doâ for the second time.â She paused. âTheyâve written their own vows which theyâll share now. Tommy,â
Tommy took a breath before starting. âEvan, I could talk about how weâve fought to come back to each other and how we made a hell of a comeback after hurting each other, but I donât want to focus on the bad parts. While they might be an important part of our story, today I want to focus on the future, to focus on the good parts that are yet to come. I canât promise to be perfect, or that there wonât be rough days ahead, but I can promise the following. I promise to show you every single day that you and Luca are my absolute everything. I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of my life. I promise to be with you for the good days and the bad, no matter what comes next. And I promise that I will always love you and our family, and I will always do my everything to come home to you. I love you, Evan.â
Buck blinked back the tears that began to form in his eyes and smiled at Tommy.
âBuck,â Athena then prompted.
âTommy, you have given so much for me and our family, and I can never repay you. But what I can do is thank you. Thank you for loving us unconditionally, for being here, and for being the man you are- the man I love. Weâve definitely had some tough times, but these last couple years youâve shown me that weâre better together and no matter what comes next, we can face it as long as we have each other. And I want you to know that no matter what happens, I promise to love you, to fight for you, to care for you, to stay, and to see you. You are everything to me, Tommy, and I promise from this day forward, Iâll never let you forget that. I love you, Tommy.â
âThe rings?â Athena prompted.
Tommy and Evan each retrieved the ring theyâd be giving to one another. Simple matching silver bands with each otherâs initials and date engraved on the inside.
âWith this ring do you Tommy, take Evan Buck Buckley, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?â Athena asked.
âI do.â Tommy nodded as a tear slipped down his face.
Buck smiled through his own tears and slid the ring onto Tommyâs finger.
âAnd with this ring, do you Buck take Thomas Tommy Kinard, to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death do you part?â Athena asked.
Athena hardly finished before Buck proudly said, âAbsolutely I do.â
Tommy smiled at Evan as he slid the ring onto Evanâs finger.
âThen with the power invested in me by the state of California, and in front of these witnesses, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband.â Athena smiled and stepped aside so as to not be in the background of the photos.
Buck and Tommy leaned in and shared a soft chaste kiss. They pulled away briefly to smile at one another, stole a second kiss, then turned back towards their friends and family and went back down the aisle.
Quickly the yard was turned over, setting up tables, and the reception part of the wedding got underway, with their friends and family scattered throughout the yard mingling.
âYour cheeks hurt from smiling yet?â Sal teased as he approached Tommy.
âIâm sure they will be later.â Tommy chuckled.
âGood,â Sal nodded. âSeriously man, Iâm really happy for you. I havenât seen you this happy in a long time.â
âThank you,â Tommy said sincerely. âReally. I- I know things got pretty dark at some points, and I appreciate you being there for me, seeing me through it so I could get to this part.â
âAnytime man, anytime,â Sal clapped Tommyâs shoulder.
âDaddy! Daddy!â Two of Salâs daughters rushed towards him. âYou gotta come see this!â Each of them grabbed one of his hands to begin pulling him away.
âDuty calls,â Sal said to Tommy and let his daughters lead him away.
âThat was a beautiful ceremony,â Phillip Buckley told Tommy as he approached, Luca in his grandpaâs arms reaching for his dad making grabby hands.
âDada!â Luca cheered.
âHi Luca.â Tommy smiled and took Luca from Phillip. âThank you,â He told his father-in-law.
âSorry we didnât get to see you two before the wedding much, flight delays,â Phillip shook his head.
âNo worries, weâve been busy getting ready,â Tommy assured him. âThank you- and Margaret of course- for the honeymoon, that was very generous.â
âWell, you two didnât have one last time, figured you two definitely needed one this time around,â Phillip pointed out. âI believe you two claimed you were too busy with work,â
âYes, well that wonât be a problem this time,â Tommy assured with a chuckle.
âHow is retirement treating you anyway?â Phillip asked.
âItâs been good,â Tommy nodded. After the helicopter crash and Lucaâs birth Tommy had been cleared to return to work, but he chose not to. He wanted to be at home with Luca, didnât want to miss a single second he didnât have to. Tommy was in the financial shape to be able to retire, so Tommy simply never returned to work after the accident, flew for fun on occasion, and he didnât regret it one bit. Tommy loved his life the way it was now. âI get to spend every day with Luca, teaching him things and watching him learn how the world works, I love it. I- I couldnât ask for more.â
âIâm glad to hear,â Phillip smiled.
Elsewhere in the yard, Buck wound up in a conversation with May, Ravi, Harry, and Athena, until May stepped away to refill her drink. âThose vows were beautiful Buck, yours and Tommyâs.â Athena told Buck.
âThank you. And thanks again for officiating. I- I really liked that we kept the wedding so small. Made it feel more special, and took a lot of stress out of it,â Buck explained.
âYouâre welcome, it was an honour,â Athena smiled at Buck. âBut I will say I think Iâm good on weddings for a while now.â
Buck chuckled.
âNot for too long, I hope,â Ravi finally spoke up. âThat is assuming I have your blessing?â He looked between Athena, Harry, and Buck.
âAs long as the wedding is a year from now or more, why the hell not? Youâre already a part of the family, might as well make it official,â Athena beamed.
âWell Buck, I guess you and Chim wonât be the only brothers-in-law at the station anymore,â Harry said. âJust keep taking good care of her,â He told Ravi.
âAbsolutely,â Ravi promised.
âIâm sure you will,â Buck told Ravi proudly. A few moments later, he went to refresh his drink and found May again.
âYou know Buck, I just wanted to say again, Iâm really happy for you,â May told him. âI know it took a lot of work for you to get here, and Iâm glad you and Tommy managed to pull it off.â
Buck looked out over the yard and spotted Tommy, holding Luca and smiling while talking to his parents. âYeah, I am too.â
The reception went on for a few hours, before the guests started to disperse. The Deluca family took Luca home with them for the night so Tommy and Buck could have the house to themselves for the night- seeing as they didnât leave for their honeymoon for a couple more days. Buck and Tommy said goodbye to the last of their guests, did the small bits of clean up that absolutely could not wait for the next day, then took each other to bed.
After some generous love-making, Tommy and Evan wound up tangled in the sheets and each other, Tommyâs head resting on Evanâs chest.
âIâve been meaning to thank you,â Buck said gently. âI know I kinda did in my vows, but I wanted to say it and some more in private.â
âThank me for what?â Tommy turned to look at Evan. âIf anything I should be thanking you.â
âFor staying, seriously- I canât say it enough. And for facing the fear of trying again. For Luca. For fighting to come back to us after your accident. For everything youâve done for us and our family. For- for everything. Thank you,â Buck told Tommy as sincerely as he possibly could.
Tommy smiled and cupped Evanâs cheek with his hand. He gently rubbed his thumb back and forth over Evanâs cheek as he formulated his response. âThank you, Evan. For trying again. For letting me be a part of it. For believing things could be better this time. For Luca. For this family. I- I canât even tell you how much it all means to me, and Iâm really grateful for everything we have now. Thank you.â
Buck smiled and leaned in to press a soft kiss to Tommyâs lips. âI love you,â he whispered.
âI love you too,â Tommy echoed, then pulled Evan in for another kiss.