and for you

| Megan | 33 | Multi-fandom |🩷💜💙

[64mpg]

be a good digestive tract and digest for mommy. break down my meals for me. do not cause me pain or bloating.

[json-derulo]

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

[json-derulo]

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

[json-derulo]

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

[json-derulo]

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

[json-derulo]

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

[narcissene]

affirmations:

- it’s fun to be awake & in an upright position

- consciousness is a gift

- i CAN do this anymore

[priisakilljoy]

X

[mapsontheweb]

Passenger trains in US vs Europe (image is making the rounds among U.S. transit advocates today)

[rumbustious-backhander]

High speed rail in China on 2008 VS 2020

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

[astriiformes]

Losing it a little over this rental I came across this morning that is for the most part a completely normal unit...

.....except for the Ancient Egypt nook

[4785725495068359685546043673475]

When a girl sits down and her thighs get bigger reblog if u agree

[theragamuffininitiative]

Alright I want to know something here:

the 🙃 emoji means (approximately)

silly!*

ugh!*

secret third thing you will explain in tags*

Remaining time: 2 days 9 hours

*if comfortable doing so, you may include your age range/generation in the tags for helpful demographic data

kindly reblog for bigger sample size, thanks!

[backtornado]

insane headline to pair with the actual photo of the beastie itself

this is just a gormless little creature. what are we doing here.

[berkeleygirl3]

[waepenwifestre]

mike’s hard past couple of months

[amrv-5]

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

[nightonblogmountain]

[tatzelwurming]

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

[homo-neandertalensis]

Was made to groove

[tatzelwurming]

my man

[armandlastnamemarius]

The Vampire Lestat 3.03 Toronto

We want to talk about your recent work in the theatre, Nicolas.

[penandinkprincess]

loustat has truly (to me) never been more couple than louis calling lestat and asking him to look at regina and tell him if she really looks like claudia.

like they are NOT on good terms this season, but this is a moment of, "i am showing this painful, infected wound to you because you have a matching one, and you are the only one who can do this for me." like this is a big, extremely vulnerable ask from louis.

and even lestat's quiet "yes. okay." in this request even though things are bad, because this is a request of one parent to another and thus sidesteps the conflict of, "we are supposed to be something to each other, but you didn't even call when i was shot." like louis is louis and the great love of his life, but louis is also the person he raised a child with, and that bond still stands strong enough to call a favor in on.

and louis's tone when lestat brings up claudia's eyes and louis jumps in with, "i know, right? there's no spark." and there is SO MUCH pain in it but also such a moment of, "she was our child and you know her like i did. you know her eyes. talk to me about her because it's the only way she can still exist, and you are the only one she can exist for me with. she was ours."

like there is SO MUCH piled on their relationship, but the way the core of it is, "we are parents without our child, and the only thing stronger than love between us is grief."

[rukafais]

Shout out to everyone on my dashboard who is enthusiastically talking about whatever the fuck theyre into that I don't recognise. Love your enthusiasm, keep going, I don't know what's happening but i support u

[hollowwaveremnant]

LMAO, Assad