Grand Old Boars can of course cast spells as a 17th level sorcerer
And the spell is always DESTRUCTION
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ellievsbear
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
ojovivo
h

shark vs the universe
Sade Olutola
Game of Thrones Daily
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
YOU ARE THE REASON
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$LAYYYTER

⁂
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost

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@unknown-soldier-shadow
Grand Old Boars can of course cast spells as a 17th level sorcerer
And the spell is always DESTRUCTION
that is the face of a man worried he will be next
Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.
Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.
crane husband.....
this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.
(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:
Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s. The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.
As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.
It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.
Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.
The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.
Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.
Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.
Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent. (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)
It worked!
Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.
However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them. (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird. White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive. (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)
Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this
she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)
His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)
the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)
"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")
chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"
just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.
well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.
Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes
the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was
String identified: tattacaatGattactacctaatatcaatgacaaatcaattcatatagcaatTtATaggtaaagtttatctatactctattcaattatctataatataaatgtaatcaatatcatggtataaccggatTgaacaccaaataattatttttatacaatattccttaatatttacaAatattcgtcaactattatatttattttacacatcttatcatcgagatgtcatatattttattactatatAatatactcaTactaatCCTtaatttaCatgtttatatgaagcaattttCaggtgacaaacattattctgtgaatgacCatatccattatgactgttatcaatattatcatactTcatagttCaataacatcacattactttgcaaaattcatcatataccttccaacaCttaCaatttttatcaggttaCtatgattTttaggcacattttatttattttatCaccttatttcatttacatatatatcattataAttttatcataaCgtcatcttattattattaTTacATATagaatatatgtctcaaaCCatCaCttaagaaaagagtcaatgacattgatcaggtgtaaaaataaatCTtcgttaatcaatGTCatatcagattatatatataatatcttactattaaatttaaaaAttaccaattttataataaatagtattctttatatttatctgttagtaagaggatttatattaaataAtaTcacatatcaTaattcattcttaatgTCtGtcaaatatttaatctaattatactaa
Closest match: Sialis fuliginosa genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Alderfly
(image source)
"love is what makes us human" actually it's 'select all images with boat' but go off I guess
we're fucked
if you touch my feet i will do it..
Non cooking spray stick
Non spray stick cooking
Non cooking stick spray
yeah okay ill reblog that
I’ve been playing so much sudoku. You have no idea how much sudoku I’m playing. Every time I close my eyes I see the grid. I’m making moves in my sleep. 179432568. 653897124. 824516937. 915683742. 246175893. 387249615. 561724389. 498351276. 732968451. This morning before I was fully awake I was playing sudoku in my head. I rise with the dawn. I’m a warrior of numbers. You’re nothing to me.
The iron fortress of my mind is like the torment nexus for Arabic numerals 1 through 9. No puzzle forged against me shall prosper. I’m the square’s strongest soldier. You can’t even count, bitch. If sudoku was a drug I’d be in rehab, except I wouldn’t, because I never quit. There are 81 squares in the sudoku board and that means there are at least 81 things that are more important than you. Now get the fuck out of my sight.
I wasn't finished yet. I'm scribing numbers you haven't even heard of. I play so much sudoku in my brain I can't tell if I actually played sudoku this morning, or if I just thought about it really hard. I asked the lady at the checkout counter if she had any more sudoku puzzles. She said "i'll check in the back." She went to the back, and she never came back. I'm like a cave fish. I'm losing senses I don't need. I'm adapted to my environment. I don't know who I am anymore
brb trying this
one way to read this is "this man has no idea what he is saying"
another to read this is "this man is terminally online and has excellent comedic timing"
I bet you dollars to donuts that this is part of the "gen z social media manager writes the video" trend going around, and it never disappoints, honestly. Everyone from local mom and pops to the national parks are doing this right now, always to great comedic effect. The older employees are in on the joke 95% of the time, and happy to be so!
Oh yeah the royal armoury is very hip
I fully believe that whether or not he wrote this himself, he was fully committed to the bit and having fun. Absolutely fantastic job.
He sits on my lap while I spin, he does the little jiggle
She is the moment