DEAR READER

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blake kathryn
Cosmic Funnies
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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JVL

@theartofmadeline
Not today Justin
Stranger Things
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement

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@unknownrefrain
In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.
Taylor Swift does this
no she doesn’t
You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.
#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic
📷 Brian Fryer
hey y’all do you want to see a dragon that i drew
of course you do here he is
There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function
this gold shouldn't stay in the comments
hey loves, I’ve been reading through the comments and loads of people are asking how to not fall into this pattern because that’s all they know. so, here’s some advice from Auntie Pan who’s been in the trenches (stress-caused disabilities and chronic illnesses).
context: grew up in an abusive, controlling home, escaped to uni, had a prolonged mental breakdown, became a teacher and worked in a dysfunctional school with amazing kids and nightmare management for years. I did not realise I have adhd and autism for a long time. (You might even be able to scroll back through this blog to find the time around which I did realise lol.)
ANYWAY, things that have helped me because my body can no longer handle any kind of stress without flaring up:
If you’re doing anything that requires you to do a lot of prep before you begin the actual thing (e.g. cooking, deep cleaning a room, moving house), mise en place. That’s a fancy french way of saying get everything ready before you begin. So if I’m cooking idk spaghetti carbonara, that means fry and chop the bacon, separate the egg yolks from the whites, put water in the kettle, put dry spaghetti into a pan. Once everything’s ready, it reduces the mental load and means I can focus on the actual cooking and any clean up that I can do along the way. H/t to @ms-demeanor for this, you changed my life!
the Might As Well rule. This one works really well for me but you gotta be careful otherwise you’ll get sucked into the Vortex. Basically, let’s imagine you’re in the bathroom, brushing your teeth. You notice that the extra roll of toilet paper has been used. instead of thinking, “I’ll get to that later”, and then forgetting about it until you sit down on the bog (no judgement, we’ve all been there), you think “Might As Well put an extra roll while I’m here!” This tends to help with the little tasks that build up over time. This Does Not Work for big tasks.
Leading on from no.2, Do It Immediately/ASAP really helps me too. My current boss will email me on a Friday and say, ‘don’t reply to this now! Leave it til monday!’ But she and i both know that if i leave it til monday, I will forget and get stressed and this will make me Very Ill. So, instead, the moment i receive the email, I’ll either schedule in replying to it as soon as I’m done with my current thing, OR I’ll reply to it immediately.
Anything that can’t be actioned immediately, i mark as Unread. Anything Unread in my inbox is a future action, and i check those Unread emails/texts/whatevers Every. Day. To make sure whether today is the day i have the info to action it. (This also means i have to stay on top of my inbox. I read all my emails and then mark them accordingly. I’m also brutal with unsubscribing)
The House Always Wins. Both in a literal sense, because i am in a constant battle with keeping my house clean, and i know now that I’ll never get it as clean as i want it. It’s impossible, i no longer have the energy or stamina to vacuum and scrub everything. But also just in a life sense. I’m never going to achieve things to perfection, and perfect is the opposite of done. And getting things done is that much more important when you have limited energy and strength. Accept that you often have to half-arse life in order to Full-Arse the few things that really matter to you.
Have multiples of everything, everywhere. I wear support gloves, so i need to have handcream at every sink and everywhere i sit down in the house. I try to keep it unobtrusive, but it means i don’t have to trek upstairs just to moisturise my hands. Gum, phone chargers, pens and pencils, water bottles, hand sanitizer, whatever you need.
Work with people, even if it’s online. Body doubling actually works. Also I’ve found that if I’m working on assignments, taking myself to a library or study area that isn’t my bedroom helps so much.
Show off! Tell people on here or elsewhere in your life about the fact that you’ve just written 100 words! Or that you’ve cleaned the fridge and that’s a really big deal for you. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Basically, you’re aiming to reduce the mental load as much as possible. Wear the same types of clothes all the time to minimise the amount of laundry. Eat the same three lunches so decision fatigue doesn’t take over.
All of this takes time to implement and it is cumulative, but i hope it helps. Reading the comments on this post, i finally understand why adhd is comorbid with so many other conditions. let’s take care of each other <3
I'm so glad to hear that helped you!
For anybody looking for resources from someone dealing with actual ADHD, I have an incomplete but ever growing list of ADHD tips, tools, and suggestions on my website.
A lot of the pages on that site are adapted from my tumblr posts, for instance I'm adapting this post about car repair projects with ADHD into a guide on project management and completion with ADHD.
(Red links are stuff that I've got planned but haven't published for reasons that are probably clear to anyone looking for ADHD advice online)
Okay so this is what I mean when I tell people, "Only take advice on dealing with ADHD from other people with ADHD." (Or other neurodivergencies with overlapping symptoms, like autism and brain injuries.)
This is all good, actionable advice. I won't be able to do all it every day, but even the person giving the advice acknowledges that.
Meanwhile, advice from people who don't have ADHD nearly always can be summed up "But have you tried just not having ADHD?" It's all "set timers, make lists, break things down, keep a planner" advice we've heard a thousand times, that doesn't work (or at least doesn't work when explained that way) and will just make you feel worse about yourself.
Also, sometimes doing something right away is a panic/anxiety response and will not be your best work. If it's not urgent and you can schedule it, do so. I fill out my calendar with tasks in little chunks all day long so that I don't forget about the task but I also can dedicated the appropriate level of attention to it at the right time.
Wanted to add the biggest ADHD life hack I discovered for this: Doing Things In Context
I am abysmal at making phone calls and doing life admin stuff at home(paperwork, emails, ect.) and after years of struggling I thought about it and remembered that I was actually always really good at getting my homework done...as long as I did it at school. I would stay an extra hour and hang out in the library and all my homework was super easy and barely took any time to finish.
If I went home, however, it was like my brain forgot school even existed, and no matter how hard I tried I could not get myself to do my homework at home, and sadly I am not the kind of ADHD where the deadline kicking in makes things happen, I just have to admit I couldn't finish and ask for more time. Again. And again. And again....
So I thought...okay, the issue here doesn't appear to be interest or attention so much as context. I can do school things at school, and home things at home(...for the most part, this is still hard bcs home has relaxation as an attached context and you can't really get around that, tho I've found for cleaning I can only do it with music playing so that's the context to tap into), but I cannot do school things at home or home things at school—not that the latter was really a factor ever, not many home tasks can be or need be done at school.
So, context. I decided one day when I had a ton of life admin stuff to do, that instead of sitting at my desk smashing my head into the wall trying to figure out why I can't even call one doctor's office, why don't I just go rent a study room at the library. It's free. They're sound proof more or less, and you know what? I got it all done in like and hour and then as a treat played Pokémon Go and read a manga for a while before going home. I'd been trying to do all that stuff for weeks to no avail, but putting the tasks in a different context, in a building where you go to do things like homework and paperwork, suddenly made the executive function like...function. I don't know the real logic behind it, and it isn't possible to do this all the time, especially since I'm broke and disabled and live in a dinky apartment and have can't go outside alone safely disorder, but having spaces that have a context attached and moving to them for tasks that fit that context can help a lot.
It works for other things too, I can do my physical therapy just fine at the gym...but not at home. Home doesn't have the workout context attached. Still trying to figure this one out, but it can help to just try to shift the space around you to fix the context better, like playing music being for cleaning or changing into workout clothes. It's like creating the structure you used to have to guide you yourself, I guess. ADHD brains seem to like it when a place is for a specific task.
what’s the rush?
in case you were unaware, Drew Gooden (yes, the "road work ahead/i sure hope it does" meme guy) is a really good YouTuber who makes very insightful yet funny videos.
I rewatch his video about online gambling like...once a month.
Excluded
(losing a trinket important to me): it’s just plastic. It’s just material. Someone else will find it and it’ll brighten up their day. If i really want to i can replace it. Loss is natural in love. Life isn’t fair and i’ll tear up earth and sky if i knew i could find you again under the covers of my pillows. But like, it’s $16.67 to replace. I’m okay.
you have to realize that you CAN keep everything perfect and safe, but you’ll never get to fully enjoy them. Sweaters get stretched. Stuffed animals get worn. Earrings get lost. and love turns to grief. If i want to be happy, i have to know that sadness is the little brother who holds her hand.
Nvm. Trinket was found and i’m now keeping it locked up forever so i can’t ever lose it again
Out of Touch
Out of Touch Thursday
OUT OF TOUCH THURSDAY
but im out of my head when you’re not around…
happy birthday.
this is the only out of touch thursday you can reblog this
ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds
I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study
after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines
et voila
and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)
and now, the birds
Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus
Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius
hoo boy, ok *out of breath*
GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!
this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render
speaking of obnoxious coverts:
bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata
the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it
Madam....
birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female
pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr
*melts into goo*
BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus
genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??
nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)
in other news, I am losing my mind hairline
SHE'S DONE!!
Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis
my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on
this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏
*does a little jig*
BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos
the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise
ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!
Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹
every addition of the insane public kills me anew xD
Listen I'm not saying that diyhrt.info has bad information. I *am* saying that I am endlessly frustrated that this is how they start the section on transmasc diy.
There is no reason to start it off comparing it to estrogen, especially since the estrogen section doesn't open up talking about how "unlike testosterone, estrogen is not a controlled substance and there isn't the same legal risk involved."
And then there's the downplaying of potential legal issues involved with DIY t. There is a difference in giving reassurance and acting like the consequences are no big deal actually, especially after mentioning how much easier to get it is than estrogen.
Why aren't we talking about how you probably shouldn't bring it on flights with you? How there are risks if you're taking it with you in your car on a trip, especially if you're a TPOC? And I know this is more niche, but how if you live with someone on probation, it getting found could have legal consequences for *them*.
Maybe a link to different states' and countries' laws about this so you can be fully informed instead of "trust me it's actually not big deal because they're not going after (cis, primarily white) gymbros."
It just feels like little snipes. Little "stop whining; you have an easier time than people going on e, actually!"
If it's supposed to come off as reassuring, it's not doing a good job imo, and I think it's being too casual about the legal considerations even in the best fair interpretation.
I've posted this article a few times, about a person who was arrested and sexually assaulted by the police because they stopped hem when hey was traveling with (legally prescribed!) testosterone. but I want to bring it up again.
Here hey described it like this:
“One officer said, ‘It smells like you’ve been having a party in here. Is that right?’” Fransisco, a white nonbinary person in their 30s, told Filter. “He said, ‘Well, if you haven’t been having a party, you won’t mind if we check your car.’” Moving quickly, the officers violently handcuffed Fransisco, took their keys and called animal control to confiscate their dog. Then they searched the car. “One yelled, ‘Show me your track marks, you fucking junkie! We found your needles and drugs,’” Fransisco said. The cop held up their prescription bottle of testosterone. “I said, ‘Those aren’t drugs, that’s my medication. I’m trans.’”
"Legal issues might arise" this person was, again, sexually assaulted in a blatantly transphobic way, and also had hez service dog taken away and had to pay to get it back, alongside having to pay $2,500 to get out of jail, something hey could only do with help from friends/family. Not everyone can afford that.
And again, this is all when hey had a genuine legal prescription. If hey was traveling with illegal T, what fucking then?
And then there's also the level of how tracked testosterone is. That second article also talks about how testosterone prescriptions, because of its status, gets put in a database than clinicians and law enforcement can access. It includes an account of one trans man who was meeting a psychiatrist he had not come out to as trans, who he was outed to because she was able to see he was prescribed testosterone.
Is that not fucking dangerous? And what happens when your body is clearly androgenizing, but a doctor or cop can see you haven't been prescribed T? What happens when the trans person in question is Black or Latine or Native and there's more risk of these people deciding to treat them as a criminal?
I don't want the message from this to be "DIY T is always bad and you should never break the law!" because I don't agree with that. But my lord, the fucking dismissiveness just kills me. It feels so condescending? Like the author is writing this thinking "well I have to address this so no one can say I didn't, but I really want to emphasize that these risks are basically immaterial and as long as you aren't an idiot you'll be totally fine!"
And you know people would treat this all entirely differently if it wasn't transmascs affected. Folks are out here telling transfems to not go into certain careers because of the risk of transmisogyny, but genuinely think transmascs that they are being whiny birthday boys for literally just pointing out that there are real legal risks that should be acknowledged.
To be fully fucking honest, how the hell are we going to talk about how getting banned from tumblr will literally kill trans women, but testosterone being criminalized doesn't pose any unique or important dangers????????? Like I'm not even saying the bannings don't matter or can't genuinely deprive people of their only source of community or income. But you simply do not get to talk about how bannings are a form of social murder and also pull the "well you can just get it from gymbros and there's like noooo way anything bad will ever happen lol you are just being dramatic!"
I'm just saying. If someone is going to use weed medicinally in a country where it is illegal, even if its not the most criminalized drug, I think we can support that decision while also giving them actual advice on how seriously to treat the illegality and how to keep themself safe, especially when racialized. This (screenshots) is not that, in my opinion.