Whatever was happening to him, Himmel thought he could wait it out here; away from the city folk, away from everyone. Amongst the quiet of Savior’s Respite, where the beautiful flowers grew in abundance; filling the path up to the cliff with gentle beauty. A sight he wished he could have enjoyed, and most likely would have, had it not been for the flowers of his own that were sprouting from every inch of his body.
He wasn’t certain, exactly, of when it started. Himmel merely went about his day as he usually did in this world, helping those who needed him, saying hello to all he had met thus far. There was nothing amiss, no changes he had noticed; not until someone he had helped complete a task for asked him out for dinner as a way to thank him. Advances like these were not unusual to Himmel— he was a beautiful man, so why wouldn’t someone try for his hand?
The answer, however, was an immediate no. The reason being that they could have repaid him in any other way— they didn’t need to go that far.
Except, that wasn’t what he said. That wasn’t what came out of his mouth.
I’m flattered, but there’s someone else in this world who holds my heart.
From then on, it wouldn’t stop.
Any passing thought he had of Frieren, any reminder of her, any person who asked him about their friendship— Himmel was suddenly more than happy to reveal his hidden thoughts, the feelings he’d kept at bay for nearly a decade. Omitting his affection, why he did the things he did— that nearly second nature for him at this point of his life, having practiced for so long how to keep those feelings quiet. Never reveal too much, never lean into the obvious— except those times he couldn’t help himself, where he was confident Frieren wouldn’t catch onto what he was doing.
His body, his heart, wanted the entire island to know— against the will of his mind, of any other part of him. Yet when Himmel silenced himself, even forcibly keeping a hand over his mouth— that’s when they appeared. Blossoms of blue moon weeds, on his hands, his arms, his shoulders, blooming with every thought that tried to leave him.
There were apparently enough for Frieren to eventually find him by, the hand on his shoulder causing the man to whip his head around to meet her eyes— and for the first time in his life, the joy at simply seeing her was not there. Rather, it was.. nervousness, even perhaps fear.
What if he said something— said the one thing he was sure he would never tell her?
“Frieren,” her name fell from his lips without a second thought, a telltale sign of what was to come. An ache pierced his chest then, at the concern she showed for him; reaching for her hand momentarily to give it an affectionate squeeze.
“I don’t think you should be near me— either of you,“ he flinched at his own voice, clearing his throat as he soon let go of the elf’s hand again. “I’m— I’m not alri—“
Suddenly, the man began to cough; turning his head away as he covered his mouth with his palm. He could feel something sharp in his lungs, and when it eventually subsided and he pulled his hand away.. it was full of blue moon weed petals.
Himmel laughed. A wry, strange sound.
“.. I don’t know if this is something magic can fix. It would be best to leave me alone until this is over. I promise I’m— fine. Please don’t.. stay here, or else I might.. I fear I’ll—“
But his words were once more interrupted, that piercing feeling coming back to his chest as he coughed once more.
