Wow, I am one Very Lost Alien

Hey bitches <3 intro post otw. He/it, minor (Do not send me any donation asks or messages! I have no money)

[bidoof]

what farming items in mmorpgs has taught me: i used to think using ice trays to make ice cubes was free but after thinking about it i have to pay the electric bill to power the freezer so every moment that i’m not freezing new trays of ice cubes is a moment that i’m underutilizing the freezer and increasing the cost of ice cubes. i have to constantly swap out ice trays for new ice cubes on an hourly rotation on a 24 hour basis or else i won’t produce the maximum amount of ice cubes possible and will underutilize the full potential of my electric bill. i need to stop using all other appliances and utilities in my home to make more ice cubes

[urfriendlyneighborhoodbiderman]

Thinking about my au again. My latest thought: the Beasts are all lowkey kinda scared of Shadow Milk

He was granted the most (magical) power out of all of them and not only are they just scared of his raw power they’re scared of how like, inconsistent and unpredictable he is. Mind you they knew him as a 🤏 wee little girl and Fount was always wandering off and getting into bullshit when she was off duty (especially around her siblings), but she actually had some inhibitions and a “better”/more solid moral code, but now that little girl is five feet and eight inches of vengeful, chaotic, morally grey, superpowered teenage boy with a god complex and nothing to lose. Of course they know that they could probably match him (especially in a fair physical fight) and they’re not running and hiding from him or anything, are you kidding? But they are definitely scared of what he’s capable of.

Burning Spice thinks he’s underselling his capabilities by not dueling him but Shadow Milk is less worried that he’ll lose and more worried about the fact that even if he wins that guy is going to make him HURT

[thyrell]

joe biden should do another stimulus check where the ira sends me a lox bagel. with cream cheese please

[thyrell]

irs.

[efoxgirl]

[glowmiser]

-`♡´- “ this is tuff . probably . ”

[cup-of-lavender-tea]

do you ever miss someone you really shouldn’t miss because they treated you and the people you love like shit and they exposed you to shit you didn’t wanna be exposed to and you really hate them but you’d do anything to see them again but at the same time you wish you never had to think about them again

[lesbianshepard]

if you work retail long enough i think you should be given license to kill 

[lesbianshepard]

new hire: you can tell the customers to go fuck themselves if they start acting mean

1 year: you are allowed to maim or seriously injure

3 years: you can kill a customer if they start a fight and you can prove they provoked you

5 years: you can kill customers on the clock in any scenario, no questions asked

10+ years: you can kill any customers in any stores 

[lesbianshepard]

addendum: during holiday season they give the entire staff a machete regardless of how long they’ve worked retail and whatever happens, happens

[punkitt-is-here]

hey are you okay? you awake? mom's coming over. you need to keep cool. you can keep cool, right? don't blink too much. she'll know. im going to the grocery store to pick up snacks. do you need anything? i'm going to buy five tubes of pringles. do you want one? two? hey, you need to blink or she'll know. keep your cool. if she asks where i am i'm getting groceries. seven tubes of pringles. seven tubes of pringles is normal, right? okay, bye, love you! do you know where my keys are.

[aholefilledwithtwigs]

I have never read or watched Death Note and i know the whole ‘book that kills people’ premise but from all the shit i see on here it seems to be two teenaged boys acting out this scene over and over

[ntrider]

giving increasingly loud sighs as I wait for my crush to ask "what's wrong?" so I can say I'm in a state of depression unless I can touch someone's boobs with no bra

[ntrider]

I stop once I start getting short of breath

[aokozaki]

[Your crush, on the phone to someone unseen] Yeah I think she needs to be put down, her breathing-- yeah I know it can be a problem for her breed, but it's getting really bad.

[ntrider]

I'M NOT A DOG??????

[aokozaki]

[clearly less interested now] Oh.

[ntrider]

wait! au au

[aokozaki]

[walking over the distant horizon, towards the West]

[ntrider]

AU AU!!! AU AU!!!!! 😭

[aya--bb]

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

[notemily]

via ered.bsky.social, the only kinds of unethical fiction:

people in the replies are going "what about books glorifying unethical things" and "what if it's propaganda" and you, my friends, are who this comic was made for

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[punkitt-is-here]

finishing the school of friendship two parter

[anixolt]

Two in one deal!

Gehehehe prepare for a lot of security breach posts for i am working on an au for it!! Basically rewritting it all~

i adore these two

[dubiousculturalartifact]

The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.

I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:

We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.

Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?

It ain’t Kermit

[rosethyme]

"Who stabbed you in the eye, Polyphemus?" "Moi! Moi stabbed me!" "He stabbed himself. Sad."

[cassettetapecryptid]

prev tags from @heydocverdant

[callisoapy]

THE FROGSSSSSS

[unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat]

Just so we’re clear, if I point out that you did something racist, that’s not the same as me thinking you’re irremediably terrible. You did a racist thing.

[unthrifty--loveliness-deactivat]

You think you don’t do racist things, homophobic things, etc? You do. I caught myself in fat phobic and homophobic lines of thinking/speech just this morning. I’m fucking gay married. Nothing disqualifies you from acting in a way that reflects the society you exist in. We are obliged to fight it. Why not fight it in honesty and with camaraderie?

[sorrynopiforyou]

sorry if i'm gonna be quiet for a while. my country recently introduced laws that make it so that in order to use social media to the fullest (not being able to view ns/fw content and in a few cases, not even having access to dms), i HAVE to give the sites my id/face scan.

it goes into effect july 25th. it'll probably effect here too, since this place allows mature content (tho not full on ns/fw)

i'm very distressed about it bc i might end up not even being able to talk to my internet friends. i don't really have any irl ones

if i have to disappear on most socials by then, you know why.

[sorrynopiforyou]

if you're in the uk like i am there IS a petition to sign on the official gov petitions website asking to consider repealing this law. it currently has almost 8k signatures and needs 10k in order for the government to even acknowledge it (and 100k for them to debate it)

idk if i can post it here but please... go sign it! and go write to your local mp if possible. they need to realize how dangerous this law is going to be for uk citizens online. it doesn't protect children, it's just privacy invading AND a huge security risk to boot

[sorrynopiforyou]

and if you are NOT in the uk, spread the word around! especially let any uk moots you know about it

[cosmiccatboyfriend]

Petition: Repeal the Online Safety Act

We want the Government to repeal the Online Safety act.

IF YOU ARE A BRITISH CITIZEN OR UK RESIDENT ONLY PLEASE CONSIDER SIGNING!!!