'Swaesome, Bruh

JT, Member of the Jack Zimmermann Protection Squad. 🏒 Ilya Rozanov Defence Team main: astrangertomykin

[handsywoman]

Maybe you could teach me Russian someday. Yeah, okay. Only useful phrases.

[hollanov-in-lov]

Shane’s Face Journey when: Ilya’s public All Stars game smooch, and how unreservedly gleeful Shane is about it

*best viewed top down to enjoy the minutiae of his voluminous glee

Source: these glorious gifs @delicatepointofview

(proudly featuring Hudson’s smiling eye dimple👆)

[astrangertomykin]

Domestic Abuse goes up 38% when England loses. Be safe out there tonight. 💖

[i-fear-gritty]

i think if hollanov decide to have more than one kid at least one of them will be a goalie. and you know that kid is going first in whichever draft they end up in because they practiced on shane fucking hollander and ilya fucking rozanov (because if your dads were casually the two best centres in the nhl and two of the most successful hockey players on the planet, then you defend that net like your life depends on it)

everyone else in that years draft thinks this hollander-rozanov child got picked first out of nepotism (because who the fuck is that desperate to pick a goalie first overall in the draft?) until one day that team’s starting goalie is injured and all of a sudden your scoring chances have gone to hell because you’re trying to get the puck past cerberus, the three headed dog that guards the gates of hell

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[brokentoasterrr]

i hate that you’re so right re: the orthorexic tendencies (and everything else. shane is buying slow feeder bowls and treat puzzles and feeding anya dog friendly soup once a week)

[usssamwell]

I think the saddest s2 thing is they are probably not going to be able to get Moana 😔

[sheisraging]

Good. That's what I want too.

[usssamwell]

Watching Hudson boil alive in Paris rn like bud I'm so sorry, its not even the hottest its gonna get yet

[yolkylemon]

💪 💦

ilya version

[mina-logan]

Such chemistry.

[lavenderprose]

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

[omgcheckplease]

omg. Just finished penciling the first chapter of Check, Please! Year 5 🥹

[funky-lil-lesbian]

[hollanovs-ilya]

I need... What? You know. Tell me. You. I need you.

[my-2nd-account]

It's so important to me that everyone who meets Ilya feels safe around him. Shane at age 19 trusting him with his body and his sexuality and his reputation therefore his whole career. Svetlana who left home and could've gone anywhere but chose to move to Boston because guess who also lives there. Every person he's ever hooked up with because that's 100+ of people trusting him and saying yes. Yuna and David who spent less than an hour around him (Ilyushka not Rozanov) and accepted him as Shane's boyfriend even though they've spent the last decade hating him on Shane's behalf. Jackie trusting him with her kids after only meeting him once. Harris's family inviting him over so many times. His neighbors' kids making it a habit to wish him good luck before games. Troy coming out to him when it's his first time saying it out loud. Luca asking him for advice because he's finding it hard to "meet people". Coach Wiebe coming out to him and telling him about the guy he was in love with.

He's the safe space he needed growing up. He's the comfort person he wished for when he felt like he had no one. He's the familiar warm presence who has so much love to give to make up for all the love that was taken away from him.

[actuallysara]

happy

[ilyapasta]

No one is doing it like Ilya Rozanov. He’s in a gladiator costume. He sent the rookies home from his party because he’s depressed. His boyfriend drove two hours with a butt plug in because Ilya looks hot in that gladiator costume and Hayden Pike called him a prude and that bothers him. Shane said I’m a freak and I need my boyfriend to know that, but Ilya can’t stop crying thinking about Shane. Ilya is looking down at his plugged up boyfriend giving him a bj under the gladiator skirt and he’s got tears in his eyes. He’s alarmed by the tears in his eyes and responds by fucking Shane nearly upside down on the couch like an inversion table. He’s doing fine. Maybe he should think about therapy.

[fractally]

Sometimes people say that Ilya’s characterization changes dramatically from HR to TLG but I think it’s more like the “expectation / reality” frame from 50 Days of Summer. We spend most of HR in Shane’s head perceiving Ilya as the coolest hottest man alive and the minute we hop into Ilya’s head it’s like oh. Oh no this man is sticking a fork into his toaster

[ilyapasta]

Ilya heard you must feel that you are abandoned by god to be a good top and said ah well yes and then never thought any deeper about it

[reheatedrivalri]

wonderful tags @butimaficwriter

[ilyapasta]

Not only are these A+ funny tags @butimaficwriter but yes! Ilya asks him to turn around and starts doing everything from behind but Shane actually says “I want to see you” and turns on his back but with the couch he’s still in the weird upside down position (hence my reference to an inversion table) so Ilya is still not letting him in. Still not letting shane see him. And Ilya keeps thinking about how he just wants to fuck Shane forever, stay inside him forever, but it points to how Ilya is using sex to avoid talking just as much as Shane. Ilya could stop at any moment and be like “actually I’m really struggling” but his depressed ass needs dopamine! Needs to feel the rush needs to feel the big feelings needs to feel washed and drenched in love because otherwise he’ll have to talk about the small feelings: self worth, loneliness, delayed grief, and his fear of loss.

And when he unravels in the morning as Shane is pulling out of the driveway he’s forced to feel all those delayed feelings all at once.

[usssamwell]

Heard Florida Panthers are moving to a new rink for next season