'Swaesome, Bruh

JT, Member of the Jack Zimmermann Protection Squad. 🏒 Ilya Rozanov Defence Team

[usssamwell]

The fleece™️ was in the budget but the $85 shipping was not, had to stop myself at checkout 😭

[actuallysara]

About season 2 being more graphic than season 1:

Jacob: they're very similar level of spice

Hudson: hole

Jacob: no

[heatedrivalrysource]

And the Best Guest Performance, Drama Series is Nadine Bhabha from “Heated Rivalry.” Congrats, Nadine!

[usssamwell]

I loved her speech

"is believing in creatives who have stayed here Empowering them tell stories they want to tell and giving them resources to do so"

[usssamwell]

Oh getting all the awards they deserve, we love to see

[grabmyboner]

picture this it’s shane’s first time in a centaurs locker room pregame. captain ilya is giving his pregame pep talk in typical rozanov fashion. shane is discovering something about himself in real time watching ilya yelling and getting up in the guys faces making them nod in agreement to his words. ilya gets to shane as he’s rambling on about “i want to fucking win!” and then is like “you get that, hollander?” and shane is nodding slow and dazed and a “yes, sir” comes out without thought and then ilya and shane are staring at each other in complete silence for a long second heavy breathing before someone clears their throat and ilya snaps out of it and goes back to his hype speech.

[grabmyboner]

at home afterwards, they go to their bedroom and they just stare at each other in the entry way because the sexual tension has been doing all fucking night and shane drops a breathy “what now, captain?” and Ilya just leaps at him and fucks him so possessively and with so much force Shane has finger print bruises and can feel it for days after

[usssamwell]

When s2 comes out I'm gonna need one of you to make a Ilya Rozanov/hollanov fanvid set to I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme) that's set around the Pride Night scene mixed in with moments of him & Shane together because these lyrics just describe the moment perfectly to me

[gingerpolyglot]

Give me Shane awkwardly trying "queer culture" things that Ilya and Harris try to introduce him to and hating it.

Give me Shane "hates clubbing and bars" Hollander not minding Kingfisher in the afternoon but refusing to go at night. Give me Shane never understanding the slang (he's never online) and being overstimulated by drag brunch (it's so LOUD and nothing fits his diet even once he loosens it a little and brunch as a concept throws off his entire routine) and utterly bored by any TV show that isn't the latest game replay (is this reality TV? Is it a drama? He can't remember and he can't tell the difference but honestly he'd rather be watching hockey) and unable to remember the difference between Lady Gaga and Cher (he never listens to music anyway) and completely disinterested in changing his wardrobe (for fancy events he wears whatever his stylist tells him to but not anything adventurous, because he just wants to look acceptable not make a statement).

Give me Shane feeling alienated from gay culture the way he sometimes feels alienated from Japanese culture and being so frustrated that being himself, exactly as he is, still isn't good enough for anyone.

Give me a Shane Hollander who doesn't want to be "the gay hockey player" the same way he doesn't want to be "the Asian hockey player" but he'll suck it up because he's such an inspiration, don't you know how many kids look up to you? Don't you know how much it matters to them to see you out there loud and proud?

Give me Shane finally snapping at Ilya that clearly he's not "super gay" if he's so bad at it, because he's sick and tired of everyone being disappointed that he's not up on whatever the latest queer culture trend is and he does not want to be a "gay icon," he just wants to play hockey and love his husband, and he's not magically a different person now that everyone knows he's gay.

Give me Ilya reckoning with how coming out has only put more expectations on Shane's shoulders and noticing the roles Shane is always forced into - the Asian player, the gay player - and understanding a bit more why privacy seemed like a better guarantee of freedom to Shane than openness.

Give me Ilya promising Shane that he loves him exactly as he is, jocky and offline and dedicated to hockey, that he never has to change anything about himself to seem more palatable to anyone, and fuck anyone who thinks Shane isn't *anything* enough, because he's always been perfect for Ilya.

[usssamwell]

Geno re-signed! The war has ended!!

[usssamwell]

Okay but hear me out Vulcan Shane Hollander and Romulan Ilya Rozanov

[usssamwell]

I'm terrible at writing smut but imagine Shane mind melding with Ilya for the first time during his pon farr and the bond just snapping in place like it always belonged there and Shane having to process that - being a half Vulcan is bad enough but a half Vulcan with a Romulan t'hy'la?

[usssamwell]

Okay but hear me out Vulcan Shane Hollander and Romulan Ilya Rozanov

[usssamwell]

I'm terrible at writing smut but imagine Shane mind melding with Ilya for the first time during his pon farr and the bond just snapping in place like it always belonged there and Shane having to process that - being a half Vulcan is bad enough but a half Vulcan with a Romulan t'hy'la?

[usssamwell]

Okay but hear me out Vulcan Shane Hollander and Romulan Ilya Rozanov

[lavenderprose]

Things that are ACTUALLY in the Shane Hollander Mic'd Up compilation that we all wish we could watch through the portal:

- "Hey, how was your summer? Good, good."

- "Mic'd up. I'm mic'd up. Don't."

- "Have you ever been to Greece? Told Ilya I would ask you."

- "What? No, man, he didn't say that. He said he was gonna get your ass. Yeah, man, he only fucks one ass. Yeah, I mean, I would say fuck you too but--"

- "Heeeey, davai, davai. Great assist. Hah, no, don't come closer, I'm mic'd and you know I don't trust you."

- "The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play. The Royal--"

- "HEY MATHESON. You ever been to Vegas? I said, you ever been to VEGAS? I hear they let the good hockey players go there in the summer but I feel like you wouldn't know that."

- "FUCK. Hey, ref, what the fuck was that? Oh, you didn't see that? Fuck you. No, you stay there, my husband's gonna talk to you--fuck you, put me in the bin then, this is bullshit--"

- "You have the smelling salts? Yeah. FUCK--"

- "I am mic'd. Remember I am mic'd. Nope, not even in Russian."

- "Oh, yeah, the pickle video was funny. Harris said it got a lot of views, so. Yeah, no, he actually really does love pickles that much."

- "Sinclair, you got something to say? Yeah, I'm better at hide the pickle than you are at hockey. You want to ask another stupid question?"

- "You know, I run a charity too. Oh, I just assumed that you were doing some kind of Make-A-Wish thing out here with your wingers, since it looks like this is your first day on the ice."

- "Oh, hey, look. Jackie and the kids are waving at us. Okay. Okay, Rozanov, that's enough."

- "Mic'd. Mic'd. Mic'd."

- "Hello Hockey Night, welcome to my husband's shoulder pads--" "Fuck OFF, Rozanov."

- "Great goal. Great goal. Lyublyu tebya. Yes, baby, you did that."

[clementine-kesh]

not all character interpretations are valid some of you are sexist

[clementine-kesh]

not all character interpretations are valid some of you are racist

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

This is truly no shade to anyone, but it always takes me tf out whenever there's an "Irina lives" au where she and Ilya leave Russia and the fic either just straight up ignores Alexei's existence or is like "yeah, he got left behind but he was an asshole so it's fine 👍" and then never acknowledges him again. LMAOOOO. Damn.

[usssamwell]

I'm sorry, Sid, I'll be back soon 😔

[usssamwell]

At this rate jfc

[wine-dark-sky]

Ilya Rozanov isn't an asshole because he's Russian, he's an asshole because he spent his formative years in fucking Boston

[usssamwell]

I'm sorry, Sid, I'll be back soon 😔

[usssamwell]

At this rate jfc