Usually Dying Inside

On haitus until I finish a IRL project. Give me shit if you see me here or on AO3, please! Feeling generous? Check out my Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/usuallydyinginside

[usuallydyinginside]

Hello! Let me introduce myself.

I'm a writer for a living and a fanfic writer for fun. While a lot of my current stuff is BG3/Astarion focused, I'm a giant nerd who loves a lot of fandoms, so that's not all you'll find here.

If you like my writing and want to help me keep having time to do more of it, consider leaving a tip (but absolutely no pressure to do so).

Fics:

My current main fic is the "Astarion Isn't the Best at Planning" Series on AO3, which I can best describe as "angst + humor" with the assurance that Scratch will never, ever be in danger (but everyone else will be).

Astarion's Nice, Simple Plan That Fell Apart - Astarion x Lady Tav/Durge. Complete at 400k+ words and 200 chapters. Follows BG3 from start to end from Astarion's POV. Mostly canon though Act 2 & 3 diverge a bit in fun ways.

Astarion's Vile, Complex Plan That Came Together - Sequel to above fic with the same characters starting post-game and going from there. General plot is Ascended Astarion shows up and tries to steal Spawn Astarion's girl. Updated frequently (usually daily but no promises)

(Commission of a scene in NSP by the lovely @kittyoperas! )

Fanart:

I have been incredibly lucky to have readers who share fanart of my characters, so I want to highlight that here whenever I can! I'm utterly obsessed.

Our girl Tav from the lovely @eatingfruta!

Tav from the sequel fic of VCP by the great @i-cast-dimension-door

“And if we won’t let you go? If we stop you?”

"You can certainly try" (Scene from VCP by the lovely @jpineapplez)

Another @jpineapplez piece, displaying Tav's greatest fear: never winning over the heart of the world's cats the way Astarion can.

Two more pieces from the sequel by the amazing @jpineapplez showing the second Waterdeep ball and the quiet moment dancing in the streets beforehand.

An amazing fan art piece by the incredible @wians depicting one of the final scenes of NSP.

The deeply talented @kwrite1776 turned my fanfic into actual books?!?!?!

The generous and awesome @gale-dekarios included my Tav in a series of BG3 portraits.

JPineappleZ on AO3 drew these incredibly endearing pictures of a character from the sequel fic (Astarion's sister, Stellula)! They have my whole heart.

Fanart by the lovely JPineappleZ of a scene from Chapter 20/21 of Astarion's Vile, Complex Plan That Came Together on AO3.

Fanart by the incredible JPineappleZ of the (first) ball of Astarion's Vile, Complex Plan That Came Together on AO3.

Quiet moment by the wonderful JPineappleZ. <3

Other Fics:

A Very Fine Day With Two Future Pirate Captains: Our Flag Means Death, reimagining that they met the day of the rowboat incident as kids and Ed got the beloved red handkerchief from Stede unknowingly.

The Hooligans of Baldur's Gate: BG3 where most of the main cast met as teenagers in the city based on (roughly) what their real ages would have been. Very slow to update because I'm mostly focused on the other fic but will eventually get updated some more!

[squirrelstothenuts]

[userkrisknight]

"Diglett... diglett... diglett..."

[usuallydyinginside]

[usuallydyinginside]

If you are patiently waiting on a fic update from me, I would just like to say:

1) It really is coming, I swear. And if it helps, I am annoying myself because I keep opening the fic and thinking “why hasn’t this updated yet??” and then remembering I am the one who must update.

2) Pokopia is basically crack, and I have done nothing since I first set foot as a Ditto in my own post-apocalyptic world. 🫣😅 I already “finished” the game, so fingers crossed the hyper focus eases up a bit?

[plotsjotsandespressoshots-deact]

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

[suicunesrider]

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

[drtanner-dickery]

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

[fanboyingoverdemigods]

fucking look at this shit though

[mauridianhallow]

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

[mizushimo]

amazing

[shadowthorne]

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

[mad-dyspunktional]

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

[datneeks]

One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

[muck-raker-deactivated20181222]

(link to said post about malfunctioning t-rex)

[alessariel]

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

[brainsforbabyjesus]

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

[alessariel]

This is getting better and better.

[red-dirt-roads-deactivated20161]

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

[teslasturtle-deactivated2023011]

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

[perspectivemax-deactivated20181]

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

[myloverhammurabi]

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

[gorsime]

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

[myloverhammurabi]

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

[flamingbluepanda]

Old movies had the best special effects

[skafuller-deactivated20180122]

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

[witwitch-deactivated20160508]

@jurassicparkandrecreation

[senkirowolf]

@shepfax

[prettyarb]

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time.  They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers.  Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before.  It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them.  Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass.  They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that.  And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that.  One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking.  Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent.  Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

[bastlynn]

That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Padian

[roach-works]

Reminder to all bitches: if they're coming to kill you, make them bring their own shovels. To me that's what voting is about, that's what living is about, that's what stubbornly persisting is about. For a lot of us world is full of people who want to bury you and to despair is to make it that much easier on them to get you in the ground. Fuck em! Don't just sit there. Don't just cooperate. Don't just wisely pontificate about how inevitable your doom is. If anyone is coming to Get You then damn well make them sweat for it.

[theadhdgoblin]

[veliseraptor]

you know what. I think I should be allowed to temporarily turn into a seal and go swimming around in the ocean for a while. just submit a little note to work that says "sorry, I need to take some sick time, I am becoming a seal" and leave for a week

[usuallydyinginside]

#Genuinely thought this was about Pokopia until I saw the date #mommy baby swim lessons #Ditto life #Pokopia spoilers

[jpineapplez]

I literallt just remembered that I had an unfinished Stelulla sketch from a while back. You see, I was gonna add Gale to this picture. That's what (who) she's looking at. But I never got around to drawing him 🫠 But since a Stelulla chapter is out, I thought why not post this anyways?

[usuallydyinginside]

Omg I love herrrrrrrr 🥰🥰🥰

[ilyparkerellis]

Franchaela + textposts

[jiabisu]

[shillanov]

after the ao3 outage i hope we all embrace the practice of letting a creator know when we've enjoyed their work (in this case, fic)!

so the next time you really loved something, leave a comment. i know the daunting part is not knowing what to comment — hell, i'm a writer and i don't even know what to say sometimes after i've had my heart ripped out from a fic. so here's a general guideline on some things that i tend to write when i'm at a loss for words, because creators deserve it:

"that was so good/beautiful/lovely!"

"thank you for sharing your work/time/talent with us!"

your favourite scene (writers love this)

what you liked about the fic/characters/their writing (writers love this too)

how their work made you feel

"you're such a good writer!"

"please keep on writing!" (best encouragement ever!)

[kaleidoscopesndreams]

The MANY stages of a sapphic crush

Image Credit: The franchaela fandom (Thank you for your service)

[girl-intrigued]

Franny baby that's called ✨GAY PANIC✨

[madeleineengland]

This is always my premise when I go out into society.

[yenvengerberg]

"He appreciates my chaos, you could do with some yourself." FRANCESCA BRIDGERTON & MICHAELA STIRLING Bridgerton, Season 4 'Yes or No'

[golisae]

꿈으로 도망갈 수 있다니, 간편하네.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

YOU. WILL. WRITE. oh you want to write so bad. all the motivation is here. the plot is so good. words come to you so naturally. YOU ARE GOING TO WRITE. RIGHT NOW.

[usuallydyinginside]

🤞