Just me and my tea kettle against the world

(OOC: Inspired by the board game Root!)

[vagabond-offical]

Hello Hello!

So, uhh... One of my buddies made a thing and she found this "website" as she called it? And she wanted me to come on here because of my great charisma and here I am!

Rodger Raccoon, early 20s, he/him, your local forest wanderer ready to help! (And kill if needed)

DNI if you're my robot clone or a rat

[grapefruit-offical]

i am a grapefruit

what are you 🫵?

[astronaut-offical]

i am an astronaut

what are you 🫵?

[sharks-offical]

I am a shark

what are you 🫵?

[weirdo-offical]

i am a weirdo

what are you 🫵?

[silly-little-arson-frog-offical]

i am silly little arson frog

what are you 🫵?

[a-pairlessly-painfull-poet]

I am a poet

what are you 🫵?

[evil-pukicho-real-offical]

I am a rip off

what are you 🫵?

[vagabond-offical]

I am the vagabond

What are you 🫵?

[grapefruit-offical]

i am a grapefruit

what are you 🫵?

[astronaut-offical]

i am an astronaut

what are you 🫵?

[sharks-offical]

I am a shark

what are you 🫵?

[weirdo-offical]

i am a weirdo

what are you 🫵?

[silly-little-arson-frog-offical]

i am silly little arson frog

what are you 🫵?

[a-pairlessly-painfull-poet]

I am a poet

what are you 🫵?

[evil-pukicho-real-offical]

I am a rip off

what are you 🫵?

[vagabond-offical]

I am the vagabond

What are you 🫵?

[lloyd-garmadon-kisser]

I want as many officalverse blogs to reblog this post as possible

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Hail, Wizardians!

Sooo. Salamander's back and I need y'all to get rid of his consciousness using your powers. Ty *fades back into the void*

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical @vagabond-offical @white-boy-offical @thewitchg @grandpa-offical @oppossum-offical @powers-that-be-official @ham-sandwich-consumer-offical

[vagabond-offical]

SALUTE!

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

UGHHHGRhjewfs, UH. ASVKVfjrdnj. NRh43r3fygeu. BLeeehhhhhhhhh.....

Im dead.

the Tower in the Dark Woods goes to Opossum and Witch, the Officiopolis apartment to Ham Sandwich Eater, the temple to Bill Cipher goes to Bill Cipher, the Bass Pro Shop goes to White Boy, and uhhhh Grandpa gets the retirement home

Y'all are still tasked with getting enough powerful blogs and officials to eliminate the soul of Salamander. ( @i-am-a-fish would be a dream but unlikely)

(BTW Y'all have to rap battle to get the throne whoever my ghost decides is best gets the throne)

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical @vagabond-offical @white-boy-offical @thewitchg @grandpa-offical @oppossum-offical @powers-that-be-official @ham-sandwich-consumer-offical @jester-official

[vagabond-offical]

WHAT

WHY??????

Uhh. I claim all the weapons idc if they don't fit in my satchel

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

holy fuck I figured it out

I figured it out

count thy days Salamander

something big is coming...

[salamander-offical]

big things are coming 👀

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

I CAST

WITH THE POWER OF WATER

BISEXUALITY

AND YO CHAN THE SEAL

CONSCIOUSNESS MATIERIALISTION

(Your mind is that rock btw)

AND INTRANSFERRABILITY*

I HAVE SPENT DECADES ON THIS SPELL, BUILDING UP MY MANA, AND THERE ARE NO WARDS AGAINST IT AS THIS IS THE FIRST CASTING.

THE LAND IS FREE, YOU ARE TRAPPED WITHIN THE ROCK,

AND I

AT LAST

RULE THE OFFICIALVERSE.

*the concept can't be transferred into another object, you're trapped in the rock and rocks are immobile, in short: you can't do shit about this, you dumb amphibian.

CALLING ALL WIZARDIANS,

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical @vagabond-offical @white-boy-offical @thewitchg @grandpa-offical @oppossum-offical @powers-that-be-official @ham-sandwich-consumer-offical

[vagabond-offical]

YES!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!!!

[i-love-my-fictional-husband]

"pirating is stealing!"

awe 🥺 i feel. so bad 😢 is millionaire man that owns the company who made movir going bankrupt because i found and watched it on youtube 😢 im so sorry 😢 should i give him my familys savings so he can buy a new yacht? 🥺 should i tell my local charity to donate to him? 🥺

[eredin-offical]

Oh. 🥺 I feel. So bad. 😢 Is pathetic amphibian that rules Officalverse who made dumb policies going to step down because I didn't follow the rules of his world. 😢 I'm so sorry. 😢 Should I vote for him so he can become ruler again? 🥺 Should I tell my army to vote too? 🥺

[breadcrumb-offical]

Eredin how did you say those emojis

[vagabond-offical]

I'm also 50% sure the salamander is part of a cult

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Hail, to all that may listen!

If I win the Throne to the Officialverse, ALL THE LANDS SHALL NOT HAVE PROPERTY! The land belongs to no one but @nature-official-blog, that means:

no rent

no capitalism

if thou wish to join out brigade against @salamander-offical, (whomst has allowed my position in my tower to be compromised by rent i was near unable to pay due to the extortionate prices), sendeth me an ask or tag thy post with ‘revolt against salamander’

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical @vagabond-offical @white-boy-offical @thewitcg @grandpa-offical @oppossum-offical

[vagabond-offical]

No capitalism? Hell yeah this will destroy the riverfolk

[teathattast]

[1969chevycamaro]

Ah yes.

[vagabond-offical]

You can say that again.

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Hail, Folk! the time for revolt is nigh.

@breadcrumb-offical, @oppossum-offical, count thy days on thy throne! for we, the wizardians, shall R E V O L T. Reblog/comment on this post and we may prepare an official declaration of war.

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical bring forth thy weapons and prepare to FIGHT, We shall not be conquered, the COURT shall be just and the land joyous.

however, we wizardians must plan, send me asks with thy weapons (anonymous asks are on, just put thy blog name in it and ill know it's you) and Ill prepare a strategy.

If thou wish to join us, send me an ask or tag thy post with 'revolt against breadcrumb'

Let the banners rise, let the spellbooks open, and let the throne tremble.

Hail to all who shall aid us in this righteous revolt! HAIL TO ME!

That is all, if thou wish to join us, join us now or never!

[breadcrumb-offical]

Oppossum isn't even leader yet. They are just my successor when I either step down or die. And I would like to rule for more than just a measly 10 days.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I feel incredibly left out I am one of the kings currently

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Alright Wizardians go kill the evil pineapple

[evilpineapple-offical]

well you physically can’t but go off

[vagabond-offical]

I have. Two swords.

[evilpineapple-offical]

are you a snake by any chance

[vagabond-offical]

No?? I'm a raccoon dummy

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Hail, Folk! the time for revolt is nigh.

@breadcrumb-offical, @oppossum-offical, count thy days on thy throne! for we, the wizardians, shall R E V O L T. Reblog/comment on this post and we may prepare an official declaration of war.

@assistant-offical, @yearning--offical @7-eleven-offical @coffee-shop-offical @aftonsparv-ikea-alien-offical @awesome-offical @bill-cipher-offical @nebulas-stars @rice-officall @shoe-offical @will-solace-offical @thalia-grace-offical bring forth thy weapons and prepare to FIGHT, We shall not be conquered, the COURT shall be just and the land joyous.

however, we wizardians must plan, send me asks with thy weapons (anonymous asks are on, just put thy blog name in it and ill know it's you) and Ill prepare a strategy.

If thou wish to join us, send me an ask or tag thy post with 'revolt against breadcrumb'

Let the banners rise, let the spellbooks open, and let the throne tremble.

Hail to all who shall aid us in this righteous revolt! HAIL TO ME!

That is all, if thou wish to join us, join us now or never!

[breadcrumb-offical]

Oppossum isn't even leader yet. They are just my successor when I either step down or die. And I would like to rule for more than just a measly 10 days.

[evilpineapple-offical]

I feel incredibly left out I am one of the kings currently

[the-fuckin-wizard-official]

Alright Wizardians go kill the evil pineapple

[evilpineapple-offical]

well you physically can’t but go off

[vagabond-offical]

I have. Two swords.

[vagabond-offical]

did you know you’re a wordly wise word

what

[evilpineapple-offical]

Hey, can you explain?

- @imlerith-offical

Ask Eredin. I don’t want to think

[imlerith-offical]

*Eredin explains everything to Imlerith because the mod doesn't want to lol*

Wait a second- so Evil Pineapple- you liked Eredin?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I think it’s more surprising that he liked me, but yes. I did

[vagabond-offical]

did you two have like. A breakup? Just now?

[evilpineapple-offical]

yeah..

[vagabond-offical]

oof. Man, that must have sucked. Its probably best to just move on.

[evilpineapple-offical]

Hey, can you explain?

- @imlerith-offical

Ask Eredin. I don’t want to think

[imlerith-offical]

*Eredin explains everything to Imlerith because the mod doesn't want to lol*

Wait a second- so Evil Pineapple- you liked Eredin?

[evilpineapple-offical]

I think it’s more surprising that he liked me, but yes. I did

[vagabond-offical]

did you two have like. A breakup? Just now?

[james-offical]

What is “yaoi”? I’ve heard the term but I am unaware of the meaning

[someone-official]

You innocent, innocent creature...

[james-offical]

I am a human

[someone-official]

Eh...not so innocent I guess...

[james-offical]

your statement is unclear?

[someone-official]

My bad, allow me to elaborate. You are human, which means you are not innocent. Also, Yaoi is gay love in a doomed or sad setting.

[james-offical]

wondrous, thank you for elaborating.

[someone-official]

No problem, anytime. Cookie? 🍪

[s33k-gung1rl]

cookie…

[someone-official]

Another human?

[s33k-gung1rl]

Cookie :D

[someone-official]

Here you go.

-hands you the cookie-

[s33k-gung1rl]

yay thanks :D

cookie

*she takes the cookie and eats it*

[someone-official]

That cookie is a binding contract.

-I pick you up and walk away-

[s33k-gung1rl]

wait wha-

oh

well at least I had a cookie :D

[someone-official]

Yep. There's a lot more where that came from, but that means you can't leave.

[s33k-gung1rl]

:D

what.

uh.

:D

[someone-official]

Yes...be glad... >:]

[evilpineapple-offical]

can I have a cookie?

[vagabond-offical]

Do you have tea?

[joseph-stalin-offical]

*You find yourself tied to a chair in a dark room, surrounded by @finland-offical, @vagabond-offical, and Eredin*

How does it feel to have your castle infiltrated?

- @eredin-offical

This is not happening. Vagabond, Finland...you are not in my Palace.

[eredin-offical]

We were. We kidnapped you, for interrogation. And possibly death.

[joseph-stalin-offical]

Right. Because you could get past the guards.

[eredin-offical]

Correct. Now I want you to answer a few questions. Why did you lock mostly everyone in the Gulags? Some of them didn't even do anything.

*Eredin folds his arms, and begins to walk around the chair as he talks*

[joseph-stalin-offical]

"Mostly everyone"

It was about 15 people!

[eredin-offical]

Still a lot. I wish for Finland to witness your death. So I shall interrogate you more.

Why did you help with my assassination?

[joseph-stalin-offical]

I perceived you as a threat to my power.

[eredin-offical]

I thought so. But unfortunately for you, your time as ruler has come to an end.

Any last words?

*Eredin points the tip of his sword close to Stalin's throat*

[pope-of-kindness-offical]

*Suddenly, you are hit by a blast of concentrated energy in the back of your head, causing you to stagger. @vagabond-offical is then possessed by me and releases @joseph-stalin-offical. @vagabond-offical then begins attacking @finland-offical, while I escape with Stalin.*

[vagabond-offical]

Gah!