Vagabond Verses

In a much more real sense, I have no idea what I'm doing.

[beardedmrbean]

[were--ralph]

Mario party ass minigame

[demigirlboss2girlrotboogaloo]

The wway she says "Gary fucked it all up" gives me life.

[pteren]

i didn't think to turn on the sound when i first reblogged😭

[beemovieerotica]

thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[lastvalyrian]

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

[luntfontanne]

every day i think about the cat on twitter who looks more like a scheming eunuch than any creature has ever looked

monkey i love you beloved little freak i would die for you

[luntfontanne]

like……… look at this face

UNREAL

[thicque]

every day i am hate-crimed by this cat

[darillium-night]

Update from the man himself

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

[the-nightman783]

[lynati]

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

[fly-chicken]

He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw

[fly-chicken]

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’

[libraford]

Parks patron: hey what are you gonna do about that graffiti?

Me: it's on the side of a business building, so the business owner has to take initiative

Patron: but it's visible from the trails!

Me: it is not on our property, so it falls on the owner of the business.

Patron: don't you have a graffiti task force?

Me: no, sir.

Patron: when I lived in Georgia we had a graffiti task force that would take care of that.

Me: we do not have that here.

Patron: you'd think the parks and rec people would take care of graffiti in their parks.

Me: we do. This is not on a park. It is on a business.

[libraford]

Patron: you see, there is also a sticker.

...

I'm sorry, is the sticker menacing you somehow? Is it scary? Are you being threatened by the vinyl?

[libraford]

Like I'm not saying it's great art

It's fucking ugly.

But also what you want me to do about it? Spend a day scraping it off the side a building whose owner is famously difficult to get ahold of?

[libraford]

Truthfully, the skateboarders that made it have been adding to it every few months and I kind of want to see where they go with it.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

I'm mildly surprised the pelicans aren't trying to eat the car

[gaynfl-moved]

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

[gaynfl-moved]

heard three people say "amen" in response

[plaidos]

oooh rare leap year post, adds to the resale value

[memewhore]

[shleepy-girl]

Finally, an adolescent that looks like how adolescence feels.

[connortheconceded]

same guy

[fuselii]

legends

[politicalprof]

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

[madfishmonger]

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

[todaysbird]

very cool but also kind of a dick move

[todaysbird]

Stop making Hannibal furry headcanons unless it’s this bird

[reggiemess]

It's apparently only ONE population of this species that does this. Everyone else hunts and caches normally. The other falcons probably talk shit about this fucked up torture family.

[skwerlly-squirrel]

Ooooh that’s even more fascinating. That means it’s a learned behavior they TAUGHT one another.

[swearphil]

when something major goes down in a fandom you're not a part of

[buzzcutssn]

[bred-by-insanity]

[onion-souls]

$10 budget Raiders of the Lost Ark

[king-moogle]

I looked for the original tweet and found more

[lunchboxpoems]

[memewhore]

[sunshinemoonrx]

Old Welsh lit: Dave punched Steve. This incurred a fine of twelve cattle and a nine-inch rod of silver and is known as one of the Three Mildly Annoying Blows of the Isle of Britain

Old Irish lit: Dave punched Steve so that the top of his skull came out of his chin, and gore flooded the house, and he drove his fists down the street performing his battle-feats so that the corpses were so numerous there was no room for them to fall down. It was like “the fox among the hens” and “the oncoming tide” and “that time Emily had eight drinks when we all know she should stop at six”

Old English lit: Dave, the hard man, the fierce man, the fist-man, gave Steve such a blow the like has not been seen since the feud between the Hylfings and the Wends. Thus it is rightly said that violence only begets more violence, unless of course it is particularly sicknasty. Amen.