ino' su! pteren here ^^ i'm 20 and still alive! gender is boring, use any pronouns. rope dartist, ttrpg enthusiast. i like games and climbing trees and math and teaching and stories and deep conversations about anything at all. i dislike commas and capital letters and social convention and shoes. msg me im bored .-.
- i have been stuck on this wretched planet for 20 revolutions and it hasn't gotten any more pleasant
blog tags:
#pteren rants - general nonsense
#pteren writes - the rare scrap of creative writing
#pteren's games - games i made :]
#rope dart wednesday - weekly demos of different rope dart moves
#eepy pteren - DISCLAIMER i was semiconscious when i wrote this
#best of pteren - my greatest original posts
#apologies - wisdom i have collected
#childhood - the joy of being alive
#pteren does math to innocent people - self explanatory
join my discord: https://discord.gg/GBvffx5Zwh
roleplay with me! @pteren-of-novea (or @pteren on discord)
#the aftermath - diaries about the events of august 2023. irl "friends" from this era read at your own risk.
hobbies/interests:
- archery
- rope dart
- belegarth (Google it)
- Minecraft and a few other games
- game design in Godot and Puzzlescript
- tabletop roleplaying
- the work of the late Sir Terry Pratchett
- convincing people to eat and sleep regularly
- art sometimes
- crocheting apparently
- running and jumping and climbing around everywhere
- fighting imaginary monsters
projects:
- Tree Game, a ttrpg built around skill trees
- Novea, a fictional world for Tree Game to take place in
- ulithoid, a constructed language set in Novea
- Ascent, a puzzle game featuring a cute robot
- studying rope dart
- making more friends
talents:
- being whoever i want to be in spite of everything else
- being extremely chill even in the face of animosity
- respectable self-awareness
- listening to people and lifting them up when i can
- teaching and explaining things
- writing, especially argumentative
- problem solving
- storytelling
- stubborn as hell
shortcomings:
- very bad with boundaries sometimes
- will take the joke too far
- loves arguing a little too much
- bad at reaching out and making initial social connections
- chronically unmotivated
- stubborn as hell
(im working on it)
i love playing pvp games but ONLY THE SILLY ONES. Bopl Battle, Rounds, acolytefight.io and the like. but if you play a different silly pvp game please introduce me to it :o
Or you use a plastic/silicon spatula?? Or a silicon whisk?? go to literally any dollar store they have shitty plastic/silicon kitchen utensils you can scramble eggs with without scratching up your pans
Piping hot take: I don't give a shit if straight actors play queer characters as long as they do so with empathy and authenticity. When you say shit like "only queer actors should play queer characters" what you're actually saying is only OUT queer actors should play queer characters. If you're assuming an actor (or anyone else, for that matter) who hasn't declared their sexuality is straight, you are participating in heteronormativity.
you're also saying that you, as an audience member, are entitled to private and intimate details of actors' personal lives, fwiw.
if you ever read any interview with Tim Curry, he's always very clear about finding this absurd. we all pretty much assume Tim Curry is queer, but we'll never know, because he has absolutely point-blank refused to discuss his dating life with the public or the media, because it's nobody's business but his (and anyone he's dating ofc).
it's also like--
some of you younger folk really need to go watch the documentary on Paul Reubens. "Peewee as Himself." Like, the context might help a little? for why so many of us who grew up before Obergefell et al really, really, really fucking hate this narrative where the public has a right to every single facet and detail of an actor's life? especially a queer actor?
actors, musicians, comedians, entertainers, etc., don't owe their audiences jack fucking shit about their personal lives. we can all get over that absurd entitlement any time.
I was just talking with my partner about this a few weeks ago.
Lee Pace is similarly an incredibly private man. For a long time we the public knew absolutely nothing about his dating life or anything about his family outside of little bits and pieces he shared, and even that was deliberately as vague as possible.
He played a trans woman in Soldier's Girl. It's based on a true story, and he actually met with the trans woman his character is based on. During the interview, he said something to the effect of having several stark realizations about himself after working with her and learning her story and her journey and her life.
I make the joke that anyone transgender heard the distinct sound of an egg cracking during that interview. And yet, Pace did not come out. Not until he was forced to, years later.
As, simply, "queer".
We now know he is married to a man. We know he identifies as queer, mostly because he was forced to by an interviewer who has a reputation for forcing very private celebrities to come out or risk losing status. We know he has dated men and women. By his own admission that playing Calpernia gave him very strong gender feelings and he saw a lot of himself both in the fictionalized character he played and in the real woman whose presence he was wow'd by.
Lee Pace might be a trans woman who has found it better to boymode for the sake of an acting career. Lee Pace might be a trans woman who avidly does not want to invite a spotlight into that part of his life- and who could blame him? Lee Pace might be an egg who has just barely started to crack, peeked out from beyond the shell and is not yet comfortable leaving the closet. Or Pace might be nonbinary, genderqueer, gay-as-gender, or... simply a cis gay man who feels it is nunya and enjoys being a little fruity and feminine in his spare time.
I don't claim to know the inner workings of Pace's mind, sexuality, or gender. But I do think that it would be wrong to force Pace to share what he clearly is not comfortable sharing for the entire world to see.
When it comes to celebrities who are respectful and also private, I don't think it is a bad thing if what we as fans know about them doesn't quite match up with the demographic they're playing. Sometimes, there's a reason they found a piece of themselves in the role. And especially when it has the blessing of the real life person that role is based on (such as in the case of Calpernia) or of the real life LGBT people working with that celeb every day - maybe the people directly involved with this know more about this person than we do watching from the other side of the screen.
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
the grinch is fucked up right. he was created specifically as a critique of the commercialization of christmas, but now all his edge has been sanded off. now he's a generic mascot for "hates christmas," which is great to have because the commercialization of christmas has become so overbearing that that's a demographic you can market to! and now he's just part of the Christmas Fold. he's santa's edgier joker counterpart. he has become the very thing he sought to destroy. back in november i checked out a customer with a $1100 order and most of it was grinch merchandise
There used to be a plotline that goes something like "you're the best gamer in the world, and game was really just a covert training and recruitment tool, so now you're going to use those skills to fight aliens or whatever". It's more or less gone away, one of those speculative fiction tropes that did not stand the test of time.
I think it's a great premise though, and should start being applied to other hobbies.
"Ma'am, this regional knitting competition was actually a covert operation to find someone to run this machine of the elder gods we found buried in the desert."
"Congratulations on your silver play button, you are hereby inducted into the Paranormal Defense Force, a subsidiary of Youtube and a branch of the United States military."
"Welcome to the Olympic village. If you've made it this far, you're hereby recruited into the international super soldier program, fighting our enemies at the edge of the Crab Nebula."
the fun part is this did actually happen in real life once. during WWII, several british women solved a crossword really well and subsequently discovered they'd been recruited as cryptographers.
The wish fulfillment potential of "we see how good you are at your thing, we recognize its importance and we want to pay you to do it" cannot be overstated.
The first space suits were sewn by the seamstresses of a major bra company because the suits had to be air tight, which means they can't make any mistakes and leave needle jokes. The threads were also thin but durable to minimize space. Plus they had a 1/16th inch or 1/32th inch margin of error when sewing. The only people capable of sewing like that were elite bra makers.
Imagine being so good ad making bras they recruited you into the first space program to make the suits to send people into the vacuum of space!
I remember one time I was doing an ADHD evaluation with a kid who had asked to go to the bathroom like 3 times during the 30-ish minute part of the interview where we asked his mom questions, so I knew that was his go-to excuse when bored. We get started on the WISC-V after the interview and within 30 seconds of vocab starting he asks if he can go to the bathroom, and I say:
“No.”
And this kid rolls his eyes because DUH and he says “Why not?” all cranky-styles, so I said
“Because you don’t need to go to the bathroom, you’re bored and you need to move. If you need to move, tell me and I’ll let you know if we’re at a part of the test where we can pause. Like, for example, we can pause right now if you wanna race me around the building.”
And this kids face fucken LIT up. We did three laps around the outside of the building and came back in and he finished like 3 subtests and asked if he could move so we got up and tried to see how high we could jump for 3 minutes and the finished the rest of the assessment with one bathroom break. And that was all it took tbh, this kid was SO capable he just needed to move and hadn’t been allowed to do so before. I also like making people mad by pointing out that I know what they’re up to, then just giving them permission to do the thing they were sneakily trying to do in the first place. It’s like being affectionately annoying and it’s part of how I connect to others.