🍉Dragon Queen🍉 @valkyriekain - Tumblr Blog

couldn't help but slow down the kiss and improve the lighting so i can watch it on repeat and go insane.

i also cut out the live billy reaction

if you are going to do historical inaccuracy, then go big. Just take it to a whole ‘nother level.

I mean like Knight’s Tale “chanting Queen at the jousting tournament ‘foxy lady’” levels of anachronism. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters with Hansel injecting himself with insulin and Gretel wielding a multiple-shot crossbow levels of anachronism. Go for Blazing Saddles, Blackadder, Jack of All Trades, Connecticut Yankee levels of anachronism

you either have to play by the rules or throw out the book.

rachandroll

Go full on Xena. All of history happened at the same time. Get your legs broken by Caesar and find out Lao Tzu didn’t write that book, his wife did, and she hitting on you…all 10 years before you go meet up with Helen at Troy. Fight with Beowulf and commission Sappho within a few months of each other. Abraham and Issac? Only like 2 years before Jesus. Invent CPR and the kite during the bronze age. Watch your gal pal teach Homer how to be a better bard. Have a fucking battle of the bands in Ancient Greece. TIME IS MEANINGLESS.

notthepopeiv

Go Full On Xena

adivinationwitch

"Teen, stop!"

sublimequeer

Whenever I remember that the next series of Bridgerton follows the lesbian plot of my dreams, played by two JAW DROPPINGLY gorgeous women, I am filled with glee and joy

essiesc

Mother, please 🥺💜

homunculus-argument

There's this one specific interaction on reddit that I wouldn't call "infamous" but I also know that everyone who knows it knows it by the punchline, so in order to not ruin it for the ones who haven't, I'm just going to talk all of you through it as I'm saying this.

The beauty of it is that you could place that exact same dialogue into any time and place in human history and it would make just as much sense, you could have it as a conversation between sailors in a 1600s ship, a group of bronze-age warriors cleaning their weapons, stone age hunters walking home from a hunt, or a bunch of 21st century redditors on the internet, and it would hit just as splendidly.

There was this conversation about if you could have sex with any specific person from any time through human history, which one would you choose? Famous legendary lovers were brought up, queens, emperors and such were popular, might as well fuck Rasputin just to see what the hype was all about, the kind of answers one would expect.

Then some guy said he would choose his own late wife. He went on to talk about how brutal it is, that you might find the love of your life, but there's no promise that this life couldn't be suddenly cut short. That his body aches for hers and how there isn't much he wouldn't do for one more opportunity to make love to her one last time.

Now, I'd like you to imagine a pause in the conversation. A solemn, contemplative moment of silence, with several of the people present nodding in agreement that this is indeed the finest answer - it wasn't a competition, but there's no doing better than that.

And then someone breaks this solemn silence and says:

"I also choose this guy's dead wife."

enby-denby

For the sake of letting the full story be known: you have to imagine that after another moment of horrified silence, Dead Wife giy bursts out laughing and says, with a bittersweet smile "yeah, that was her sense of humor..."

homunculus-argument

Oh fuck that's right I neglected the most important part of this.

church-of-lilith

FIRST LOOK AT KATHRYN HAHN AS MOTHER GOTHEL ON THE TANGLED SET

loredwy

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

would-you-punt-them

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

jeaninelatragedia

holy shit.

frustratedasatruar

You're not really supposed to say it this way, because its considered crass, but here in the US children are culturally and legally considered essentially the property of their parents.

Note that its considered more crass to point this out than it is to treat children as property in the first place.

cussundria-nerd-kneal

I really need to know what rights children have in other countries, because it's genuinely so bad here, I physically cannot concieve what that can look like.

Its so bad, sometimes the abuse carries over into adulthood when kids GET rights. Because yeah ^ children are considered property of the parent here in the US. Everything the child does falls onto the parent's heads but also the child can't do anything or make important life decisions to their own person without their parent's explicit permission and often times, they need to be there anyway to oversee the procedure

hmantegazzi

Read and download the Convention on the Rights of the Child – the most widely ratified human rights treaty

interview-with-the-facecards

possibly the hottest woman alive just look at her

darkhold fingers invoke delightfully impure thoughts

jeridandridge

Curly haired Kathryn is back. It’s time for me to make a brave statement.

Carla Dunkler would absolutely out-freak Maya Mason.

willgrahamscock

ai fatigue

vithcy

MUTUAL!! THAT IMAGE IS AI GENERATED!! MUTUAL! DON'T REBLOG THAT!! IT'S AI!!MUTUAAAL!!

#If I do it was an accident #I have such a hard time identifying it sometimes

winkypants

“Mother!! The 500 year old child sex slave/reluctant cult leader is being unethical!! The two 300 year old french vampires who only had each other and never had ANY agency until a few months before their murders are being WEIRDDD!! The 100 year old Black American vampire who was closeted and performing hypermasculinity his ENTIRE life keeps doing dumb shit!! The 2 year old geriatric deadbeat addict dad vampire is throwing ANOTHER egocentric tantrum!!!”

Grow up! They are all murderers and they aren’t human anymore ANYWAYS.

(But maybe I’m just old and an OG fan of Anne Rice).