Valprehension @valprehension - Tumblr Blog

Self-consciousness to self-acceptance: January 2020 Carnival of Aces submission

It’s been far too long since I last participated in the Carnival of Aces (you can find my previous submissions all here, though!). The fact that my life has just been in a very happy, sustainable place has meant I’ve stopped doing as much deep introspection on my ace-ness, I guess. I already talked about how the same thing has happened to my drive to talk about my gender as well…

Anyway, I have…

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#asexuality #carnival of aces #dating #demisexual #identity #self-acceptance #sexuality

I guess I'm *that* parent

I guess I’m *that* parent

Parenting is a huge messy enterprise. I think we all kinda know that, yeah? And it’s made messier by all the messaging around it: either parenting is the best thing ever and you absolutely cannot miss this unique experience, or it’s the hardest thing ever oh my god, I question ten times every day what have I done to my life? There’s very little middle ground here, except for the fact that both…

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#babies #feelings #life #parenting #real life

Gender... boredom?

Gender… boredom?

I sort of alluded to this a few weeks ago, but I wanted to talk more directly about it as well: for a long time, I just haven’t had anything interesting to say about gender stuff (last week’s post doesn’t count, because I dug it out of my massive archive of draft posts). This is actually a major reason why this blog almost died, before I gave myself permission to just write about what I wanted…

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#gender #gender identity #writing

Gender... boredom?

Gender… boredom?

I sort of alluded to this a few weeks ago, but I wanted to talk more directly about it as well: for a long time, I just haven’t had anything interesting to say about gender stuff (last week’s post doesn’t count, because I dug it out of my massive archive of draft posts). This is actually a major reason why this blog almost died, before I gave myself permission to just write about what I wanted…

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#gender #gender identity #writing

Algorithms of dysphoria

I am one of those fortunate trans people who don’t experience a lot of dysphoria around their gender. Really, for years now I’ve been in a place where I go long periods without thinking about my gender at all (which makes a certain kind of sense since I’m pretty much agender, to be honest. Why would I spend time thinking about something that doesn’t exist?*)

The dysphoria I do experience is…

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#body dysphoria #dysphoria #gatekeeping #gender #gender dysphoria #gender identity #medical gatekeeping #non-binary #social dysphoria #trans gatekeeping #trans issues #transgender

Babies, children, and age?

[The wording of this got real awkward, so I’ve decided to establish a pseudonym for my baby, for your reading ease! They shall henceforth be referred to as Goblin.]

I’m having a problem I didn’t anticipate: Goblin is very tall for their age. Like, off-the-charts tall at the 12-month check-in.

Admittedly, we were expecting tall! I’m 5’11”, my partner is well over 6′ – we were pretty much…

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Quick update/Consider yourself WARNED :P

I keep wanting to get back to blogging more regularly, but then keep… not doing that. It’s not because I don’t have things on my mind that I want to write about, it’s just that… my thoughts are pretty much always about my baby. And I don’t really want this to turn into a parenting blog.

Or at least, I’m not ready to admit that it might just have to become that for a while. This baby really is the…

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#blogging #life #parenting

Babies and (parental) gender

I knew going into this whole parenting thing that I was going to get called “mommy” a lot, by default. And I do.

I don’t have the energy to proactively tell people I only have minor or passing relationships with about my gender and how I do and don’t identify. This is true in all areas of my life – though I’m out at work among my co-workers, (and I recently added my pronouns to my professional…

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#babies #identity #labels #non-binary parenting #parenting #psychology

Babies and gender: where I'm at now

Babies and gender: where I’m at now

Before my baby existed in any way at all, I had decided how I was going to handle the whole birth-assigned-sex/gender thing. You can read the whole post about it, but my basic approach was that I would go ahead and use whatever pronouns most commonly align with the baby’s birth-assigned sex, while also avoiding gendering the baby in other ways.

This is, in fact, the way I’ve been approaching my…

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#babies #boys and girls #gender #gender identity #language #perception #pronouns #real life #words

While I was neglecting Valprehension for over a year, I was still making other things (and not just my baby :P)

My lil Etsy shop has turned out to be successful beyond my wildest imaginings (which is to say, it is a moderately successful hobby business, overall). As I write this, I’m closing in on 400 sales – not too shabby for two years in business!

I only ship to North America (and I’ve reached, but since I sell digital products as well, I’ve had sales in the UK, Norway, Austria, Germany, Thailand, and Australia too! I sell a lot of custom pieces, but here are my best-selling original designs so far:

Hop on over and check out Stitchy Aesthetic

Update: Kasey still makes things! While I was neglecting Valprehension for over a year, I was still making other things (and not just my baby :P)

#crafting #crafts #cross-stitch #dnd cross-stitch #dungeons and dragons cross-stitch #etsy #funny cross stitch #geeky cross-stitch #hobby business #kasey makes things #stitchy aesthetic #xstitch

Notes on a Non-Binary Pregnancy: Pregnancy is a *trip*, y'all

Notes on a Non-Binary Pregnancy: Pregnancy is a *trip*, y’all

Ok, honestly, most of what I have to say here is reasonably obvious, and none of it is ground-breaking or new, but holy wow, pregnancy is such a weird thing.

I *grew* a whole entire other *human being* *inside* my *body*. And that’s just a totally? normal?? thing??? Somehow????

I swear I really do realize every single person who as ever lived did a bunch of their first growing inside of another…

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#babies #bodies #bodies are weird #non-binary pregnancy #pregnancy

Notes on a Non-binary Pregnancy, part 2: So strong, so... fragile?

Notes on a Non-binary Pregnancy, part 2: So strong, so… fragile?

[CN: this post is largely about the potential for miscarriage]

I wrote most of this post at about 25 weeks pregnant…

At that point I was already surprised by how little I’d been inspired to write down about the whole experience. It was mostly a boring pregnancy, what can I say? Everything was just textbook; my fetus and uterus both grew right on schedule, the heartbeat was always what it was…

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#bodies #fear #fetal health #non-binary pregnancy #pregnancy #real life

Notes on a Non-binary Pregnancy, part 1: the dysphoria that never came to be

Wow, where did the time go? I’ve planned to write so many posts over the last, jeez, year-and-a-half since I told y’all I was pregnant, and I have in fact, written a few things since then, but there’s a lot of stuff I haven’t taken the time to sit down and write about. So, here I am trying to knock off the rust.

My baby is ten months old now! And parenting is, omg, honestly so much more wonderful…

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No but seriously, why do our brains do this?

We interrupt our lack of regular programming for this random memory:

When I confronted my abusive ex about being a bully in our relationship (I did this after we broke up), his response was

I can’t believe you would let me steamroll you like that. Excuse me for assuming you were stronger than that. Actually *I* feel betrayed by the discovery that you let me do that.

HOLY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING…

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#abuse #abuse-logic #abusive relationships

One more piece of the puzzle...

One more piece of the puzzle…

[TW: this post talks about my relationship with my abuser, and his behaviours within it; coercion and vaguely sexual grossness are discussed]

I’m honestly surprised that this has come up again in my brain, but here we are. It’s been a long time since I’ve had particularly negative emotional/traumatized reactions to thinking about my past abusive relationship (which ended nearly a decade ago now),…

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#abuse #abusive relationships #coercion #fucked up shit #real life #trauma

Questions from the search terms: "femme women using they them"

Questions from the search terms: “femme women using they them”

I’m back with another question from the search terms! Today: “femme women using they them” I’m going to approach this one from two different interpretations: the generous interpretation: the asker is wondering about people they know who actively identify as both women and femmes who also use they/them pronouns. the (sadly) more likely interpretation: the asker is wondering about people they…

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#femme #gender #gender identity #non-binary #pronouns #questions from the search terms #women

Babies, and "finding out their gender"

Babies, and “finding out their gender”

So, pretty much everyone knows I’m pregnant by now. I’m not great at telling everyone at work, but the word is definitely spreading on its own – people I work with occasionally from other locations often know before I tell them, and the library CEO recently thanked me for the surprisingly convenient timing of my pregnancy in terms of the library system’s bigger projects XD . Inevitably, people…

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#babies #gender #gender identity #gendered language #pregnancy #pronouns

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