Obsessed? Yeah

Hey I'm Kelly and I had my midlife crisis like 25 years early oh and I create content and that's cool I guess

[vanished-viral-hit]

It’s my birthday today.

[gethelpliv]

bein able to reblog posts of deleted tumblr accounts is absolutely the best feature here

its feels like dragging a corpse around through a bacchanal along with its legacy

[semiramis-audron]

Tumblr 896 CE, colorised

[vanished-viral-hit]

I’ve… Returned.

[dear-ao3]

my mom and i are currently engaged in a civil war over my plant

[dear-ao3]

this is my plant, ronald leafman:

i rescued him from walmart and he has some long branches that dangle. one of his branches hangs next to the door to the kitchen and i keep wrapping the branch around the door so that he will grow into the kitchen

and my mom keeps putting it back

we have divided the house. my dad is on my side. my sister watches on with glee. my dog is confused. only one will be victorious. stay tuned.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Snoop Dogg is our world’s Spider-Man.

[ark-lune-fenrir]

please explain

[vanished-viral-hit]

I dreamt that he was spiderman. It was low key awesome.

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 1)

get yourself used to sleeping on your back (and possibly elevated depending on your surgeon) BEFORE surgery.

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 2)

have cough drops on hand because your throat will probably be sore from the breathing tube they use with anesthesia.

[cathedral-spires]

Top surgery tip 3)

Get and use straws. You'll have T-Rex arms for a while but you still need to hydrate.

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 4)

the post surgery compression binder is more comfortable than youd think but it still gets pretty itchy. so dont be afraid to take benydryl, itll help you rest and stop the itch

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 5)

sounds weird but try not to flex your pecs… watched a horror game play through and every time there was a jump scare my whole body tensed up including my pecs which hurt like a bitch

[purplepunchsoda]

Top surgery tip 6)

Have hand sanitizer/ body wipes incase you cannot reach across sinks easily and to also put under your armpits if you cannot get deodorant there

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 7)

you might be numb in some areas affected by the surgery. especially if your surgeon does any liposuction along with just cutting your boobs off. right now my armpits are numb which makes cleaning them weird. less of a tip and more its normal for early in recovery

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 8)

about a week in stuff starts to feel like pins and needles. i thought that meant my one nipple was falling off. turns out its the opposite and its them coming back to life. the post op compression binder while annoying does help the tingling feel less weird

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 9)

you surgeon may be ripped to hell and back like mine and put the compression binder on super tight. ITS OK TO LOOSEN IT A LITTLE.

its there for compression to keep the swelling down but same rules apply as a regular binder: it might be a little uncomfortable and feel tight but you need to still be able to BREATHE

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 10)

invest in a long pair of tongs or one of those claw grabber things. i just made ramen that was in a cabinet above the microwave. how? tippy toes and tongs.

[britcision]

Top surgery tip 11)

You can buy little hair net looking guys at some major pharmacies that include shampoo and can be used to wash your hair in bed if you’re having trouble in the shower

(This is a general surgery tip but all my disabled friends swear by ‘em post surgery it makes your life much easier and you can feel properly clean)

[itsparadoxlacuna]

top surgery tip 12) it’s okay to sleep on the couch or in a chair if it’s too difficult or painful to get in and out of bed. My couch plus a pile of throw pillows on either side of me was the perfect place to sit and simmer as I recovered. I also recommend getting one of those airplane pillows that go around your neck. very useful if you end up sleeping sitting up and don’t want your neck to crick.

[tanukipost]

top surgery tip 13)

when it comes to scar care. anything is better than nothing. and you dont need to shell out hundreds of dollars for fancy scar creams. to massage your scars as long as everythings properly closed you can just grab an gentle unscented or naturally scented lotion and use that. shea butter, cocoa butter, bio oil the like. youre just looking for something for sensitive skin and thatll keep them hydrated.

[seizethegrey-deactivated2025081]

y'all really missed the boat on calling these tip top top surgery tips

[the-haiku-bot]

y'all really missed the

boat on calling these tip top

top surgery tips

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[i-am-a-fish]

women with deep voices ❤️

[i-am-a-fish]

men with high voices ❤️

[i-am-a-fish]

your voice specifically the one that you use 🫵❤️

[i-am-a-fish]

seriously though, no matter what voice you use whether it be your natural voice or something you've trained, your voice is beautiful and you should never be ashamed of how it sounds under any circumstances

[writing-prompt-s]

A silent Spider-Man is a terrifying Spider-Man - if he’s not cracking jokes, then it means he’s 100% focused on taking you down. You, a run-of-the-mill two-bit hoodlum, are running for your life from a Spider-Man who has not uttered a single word.

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[encorific]

i have no clue how to use tumblr

[faerill-deactivated20161105]

A young gay dragon being forced to explain to his dad why he’s only kidnapping princes

[rosengeist]

A young gay prince having to explain to his dad how he keeps managing to get kidnapped by the same dragon, over and over.

[yugiohbam]

[torn-by-dreams]

so does the dragon shapeshift or are 100,000+ people really okay with a dragon a human doing the do

[michaelpyromaniacal]

Maybe the human is the one who shapeshifts, you don’t know

[brightlotusmoon]

Sir, this is the monsterfucker website sir.

[djvance]

Except for Mayday, she is acceptable.

[vanished-viral-hit]

I don’t understand that because you use a character that often has a small amount of muses you feel inclined to trash on others that use them, don’t be an asshole just be friends goddamnit

[hollyoakhill]

wasted away again in margaritaville

[hollyoakhill]

do not touch the bean

[screenshotsofdespair]

[vanished-viral-hit]

originally I was scared to do Thread/reblog roleplays but now I’m confident in myself

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[verityglasses]

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

[fairytail-angel]

This is one of my favourite things to look at

[strampunch]

holy shit this stuff is back

[livia-jones]

The Gravity Falls one though

[nightowlhowell]

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

[artfulhobbes]

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

[clolymoly-deactivated20190507]

IT GOT BETTER

[nukewolf]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

[cm8x-insanity]

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

[roses-in-fire]

Never not reblog

[ryrobsessed]

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

[cate-geo]

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

[cyber-corp]

It’s like looking at an influential piece from an art period…

[the-haiku-bot]

It’s like looking at

an influential piece from

an art period…

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.