vanishshi

[razerbackbitch]

[andpierres]

you should have seen me a couple of years ago!

[help-me-yes]

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[meanbuddhist]

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[generic-internet-name]

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

[generic-internet-name]

you can't get out that way!

[generic-internet-name]

that's not very helpful.

[generic-internet-name]

maybe the open window will help.

[generic-internet-name]

try the open window instead.

[this-is-trans-joy]

I didn’t realise this had to be said until I came across a reel of someone in hospital but dear GOD if you’re in London during this heatwave do not swim in the fucking Thames PLEASE do not even touch the Thames I can name like five different ways you will be violently killed just off the top of my head STAY AWAY FROM THE THAMES and for that matter stay away from lakes/rivers in general and stick to safe, supervised areas of water such as swimming pools because the heat isn’t worth the risk of drowning, strong currents, harmful microbes, cardiac arrest with no help in sight etc. etc. PLEASE stay safe in this weather, especially if you’re not used to it!!

[the-elf-witch-from-space]

I love how humans are all like "NO we polluted our water! Do not swim in nature, swim in the approved chemical containers"

[this-is-trans-joy]

The undercurrent from the Thames is so strong it will literally drown you get your annoying ass tags off my post

[this-is-trans-joy]

Also, a lot of people have misunderstood this post as me saying that all lakes and rivers are bad to swim in, as opposed to the fact that there is currently a heatwave in a country that is not used to high heat and the risk of getting into complications or having a cardiac arrest while swimming with no lifeguard around is a huge cause of heat-related deaths in the UK. Seven people have already drowned in the past week. I’m not interested in “wow people in the UK are so soft everyone should swim in lakes” tags anymore because you’re missing the point.

[balaclava-trismegistus]

[Getting so angry it makes my brain disease worse] people sre supposed to be nice..

[strangeuglywomen]

You get 1000% more ok with urself when u stop wearing make-up and I won't argue with anyone on this it's true

[hxlf-savage]

[ourano-s]

[ID: image of a set of tags that say: #makeup is for performance #humans started wearing makeup when it was time to perform some ritual or act #wearing FULL FACE makeup on the daily is a ridiculous expectation #because it is demanding theatre (gendered at that) of you #you are not meant to be performing some sanitized concept of yourself DAILY]

[stupidestasshole]

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

[sreegs]

hey it's me black mold. thanks for running your window air conditioner all summer. whatever you do, do not regularly clean the removable filter. that's not necessary

you should also never ever unplug the air conditioner and stick a flashlight in the vent that blows air to see if we're in there. it's very bad, that place should not be checked

and whatever you do, if you've already made the mistake of unplugging it, don't remove it from the window for cleaning if possible. and whether it's possible to remove the unit or not, don't carefully disassemble the front panel, document where the screws go and plastic bits go, and open up the vent more to be able to get into it easily

as black mold, i'm an expert on this. you should heed my warnings: now, if you've somehow made the mistake of doing all of the above, you should not use warm water and dish soap to CLEAN the inside of the vent thoroughly. DON'T ever use a bottle brush to get into the hard to reach places. and certainly don't rinse and dry the cleaned area before carefully putting it back together

there's nothing wrong with us, black mold. we don't cause or exacerbate breathing conditions like asthma or other illnesses. it's cool, we're cool

furthermore, if you're capable of removing the window unit, DONT take a hose with the same soapy water and wash the portion of the window unit that sits outside the window and is therefore weatherproofed.

whatever you do, don't allow the air conditioner to dry before plugging it back in and turning it on again

and if you have a central air conditioner, you will definitely never ever consult a manual or sources online to perform a similar cleaning procedure on the cooling unit outside.

lastly, if you're physically unable to do the things we (the black mold) warned you not to do above, you should never ever ask someone to help you or hire a service to do it.

[garbage-empress]

Also even if you do not have the time, space or ability to do some of the the things in the OP, definitely do not clean the coils (the awful sharp flat stacks of metal) with foaming coil cleaner. That removes the beneficial black mold (us) holding the unit together. It will be completely unsatisfying to watch the foam clean out the Super Beneficial Black Mold, Mildew, Hair, Lint & Dust Combo™ (that is not only a health hazard but making the unit less efficient at cooling necessary for air conditioner function) and leave the metal shiny.

It is a lot of elbow grease and definitely not just spraying a can and waiting. Especially do not use the ones that are self rinsing via the natural condensation of water around the coils where all you have to do is let the foam settle a couple hours before turning the unit back on. These foaming cleaners are also terrible to use on the removable air intake vent covers. You definitely do not just have to spray the opposite side of all the trapped shit on the plastic mesh and let the foam push it off. Also that stuff on the cover is great for you and your air conditioner.

Trust us. We, the mold, know much more about air conditioners than the people who make aerosol cans you can pick up for like $8 at home depot. Definitely do not do this a couple times a season.

[mikkeneko]

Summer (northern hemisphere) PSA

[rederiswrites]

Just watched Adam Conover (of Adam Ruins Everything) make such a solid point that I think we should spread far and wide. Yes, having AI write your emails is lazy, sure, but people love being lazy. We need to really emphasize that sending AI emails (or using AI responses on social media, or publishing AI flyers, or or or) is rude.

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

It's rude.

[abouquetofdaylillies-deactivate]

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[headspace-hotel]

This has already been said in the notes, but if PMS causes extreme depression and even suicidal ideation, that is in fact something that most people do not experience and it can be treated

Like for the majority it really is "oh i'm hungrier and moodier than usual"

^this should be a part of sex education so the point still stands

[godesssiri]

I went to my doctor after I was walking to work one morning and saw a bus coming and actually took a step to throw myself in front of it before I pulled myself together. Later that day I started bleeding and was literally like someone flipped a switch and I didn't feel suicidal anymore. Which made me feel like I was loosing my mind because who goes from 'I want to throw myself in front of a bus' to 'I'm perfectly fine' just like that? I did some research, I went to the doctor and described my feelings, he looked me in the eye and gently asked what I thought it was, I said I'd read about PMDD and I thought it might be that, he said 'I think so too' and wrote a prescription.

If, before you get your period, you feel furiously angry, suicidal, irritated by every tiny thing to the point you want to murder someone, stuck in a black hole you'll never escape from. If you are experiencing extreme emotions for what seems like no good reason, especially if you get your period and those extreme emotions just go away. You're probably not just PMSing , you may have PMS's feral big sister PMDD and it's treatable.

Also this is something that can develop as you get older. So if you used to get normal PMS but what I wrote above sounds more like your norm now then don't just write it off as regular PMS.

[autistobrat]

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

[waitingforthet]

[nebulations]

[ID: A series of tweets by Max the comics guy who does comics a… @/amadcartoonist. (The dragon’s dialogue is originally in caps, here transcribed in bolded sentence case.)

“Wow,” said Saint George as he plunged his most holy of weapons into the enveloping darkness of the beast. “What do you call these genitals of yours?” “It is a word unpronounceable by human tongue,” roared the dragon. “Well, whatever it is, it feels fantastic,” said George.

“Dragon,” said George. “Must you speak so loudly?“  "This is as quiet as I can be,” roared the dragon. “It is also as loud as I can be. Dragons only have one volume.” “Huh,” said George.

And then the dragon ate George. It ate him for the better part of an hour. Then they tried it the other way ‘round for a while, but it was logistically awkward due to their vastly different sizes, so George just ended up doing hand stuff and that worked out for everyone.

“Dragon,” said George as he reclined on the dragon. “Do you love me?” The dragon thought.

“I love things about you. I love the thing we do that is quite like sex. I love making you laugh and when you make me laugh in turn. I love how happy and at peace it makes me feel just to be near you.”

“I don’t love all the pieces of you, but it would be near impossible to count the things about you I do love and I can count very high. I hope that is enough.” George considered this. “Yes,” he said. “I believe it is.” And so it was.

“Hey,” said George as the dragon’s breath began to grow quicker. “If you want to cum on me, that’s totally fine. I have a towel. Knights are always prepared.” “My ejaculate is thousands of degrees hot,” said the dragon. “Oh,” said George. “Never mind, then.”

“I am showing you the weak spot on my belly,” said the dragon. “A single arrow here would strike me dead.” “I am honored you trust me so,” said George. “It is also an erogenous zone,” said the dragon. “Just FYI.”

"One cannot trust a dragon,” stated Sir Pellinore, drawing himself to his feet. “They may speak the words of man, but they do so with a forked tongue.” “A really long, really flexible tongue,” said George. “What?” said Sir Pellinore. “Nothing,” said George.

“George is fighting a dragon again,” said Sir Pellinore. “It’s the same dragon,” said Beowulf darkly. “I thought he impaled that one on his lance. "He did.” “Well, he’s wrestling it now, the brave lad. He’s even doing it in the proper Greek style.” “Of course he is.”

“Behold, oh man,” roared the dragon. “I have engaged in the ancient ritual of cleansing flame, purifying my body completely.” “So we’re clear for assplay?” Asked George. “Oh yes.” “What is that?”

“It’s a cigarette,” explained George. “I’m smoking.” “Of course you are,” said the dragon. “What?” said George. “Nothing. You are being very cute right now.”

“So, I heard you ate Guy of Warwick,” said George. “And I want to let you know it’s okay. We never talked about being exclusive. You’re free to do whatever you want.” “That was not a euphemism. I was just hungry.” “Oh,” said George. “Never mind, then.”

“What are you doing?,” asked the dragon. “I’m trying to work your nipples,” said George. “Not a mammal.” “Right.”

“This is where you live? It’s very nice, as far as caves go,” said George. “I did not realize how dirty it was in here. Your halo is really lighting up the place. Making me see how much I need to clean.” “Sorry. I don’t know how to turn it off.”

“That dragon you’ve been fighting seems to be giving you all sorts of trouble. Do you need help killing the beast?” asked Sir Pellinore. “I notice that you’ve got some claw marks on your back and bite marks on your inner thigh.” “I’m good,” said George.

“How do you like the tea? I made it myself,” said George proudly. “I do not like it very much, but I do appreciate you sharing it with me,” said the dragon. “That’s fine,” said George. “I suppose dragons have different taste buds than humans.” “Sure, let us go with that.”

“I like how you have that kind of a v shape between your stomach and your groin,” said the dragon, idly tracing the area with a single claw. “Do you do a lot of bicycle kicks? Or reverse crunches?” “Sort of,” said George. “I wear metal pants that are very difficult to take off.” End ID]

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

not my tweet but I thought it would be a good psa for artists here too

[ayy-junipei]

Oh this is a common scam I find at work. Any file that:

isn't jpg, jpeg, pdf, or png

Is a file extension you don't recognise (this one is a visual basic file, used for scripting, but others like exe or bat are used)

has a very low or unexpected file size (this one's is less than 1KB, or 0.001MB, a good reference should be at least 500KB)

Is likely a scam. Stay safe kids.