becoming disillusioned. @vatcher - Tumblr Blog

I think everyone who feels any kind of attraction and knows anything about tarot is down bad for at least one of the cards

virgoanmaenad

Why are you always correct tho?

#queen of swords

starlight-fem-deactivated202605

"queer" this, "wlw" that, "sapphic" this... shut up, i am a lesbian. a homosexual woman. i am same-sex attracted. these aren't dirty words.

vatcher

aren't wlw and sapphic just used to refer to lesbians + bi women?

is "SSA women" better?

#see a lot of hate for these terms and don't understand why other than libfems use them #i feel like yall are just being haters but if there's something i'm missing lmk

foldingfittedsheets

Oh my god. I need to share another story of my new friend making today. So my friends husband says, very casually, as we’re about to leave for the ren faire, “Yeah, it’s like my story about fucking a chicken.”

And of the four people present I was the only one who was shocked. The others all nodded as if to say, yes yes, we know, the chicken fucking.

So he explained, when a progressive person is analyzing a behavior they will typically use the metric, Harm/No Harm. They may not like things in the No Harm category but they wouldn’t object.

Conversely, a more conservative mindset used something like eight metrics. Authority/No Authority Moral/Not Moral, things like that.

So, he posited if you want to sound out someone’s mindset (and you’re willing to live with the repercussions) you can ask: if a man buys a dead chicken from the store, cleans it thoroughly, then fucks it, and then eats it himself…?

I listened in dawning horror, both rapt and disgusted. But into the growing pause I whispered, “No harm…” because it really has no effect on me or anyone else if a man fucks a dead chicken. I don’t like it, I think he’s a weird dude, but like. That’s his dick. But a more conservative person will hear that and object on moral grounds despite not being harmed.

It’s been haunting me all day, so please enjoy.

moniquill

@skyla-radfeminist

An important story outlining the difference between 'gross' and 'harmful'

skyla-radfeminist-deactivated20

Alright. You can call me more conservative in this idea, and by definition I mostly am. But kinks cause both mental and physical harm, you just don't think it causes enough harm. By the progressive metric through, anything that causes *any* harm is bad, which is against kinks

Even just teaching women and girls that choking feels nice and fun is really fucked up and should not be normalized.

moniquill

There is a difference between expressing an opinion and stating something counterfactual as fact.

"Kinks cause both mental and physical harm" is false. When you say something that is untrue as if it were factual, you are spreading misinformation.

"By the progressive metric" citation needed. I cannot find evidence of the existence of such a metric.

You are really, -really- focused on choking, which all the actual kinksters in this thread have glad you isn't a thing in the way you seem to believe it is.

Do you understand that for the people interested in breath play, it -does- feel good and fun? No one has to 'convince' them.

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/erotic-asphyxiation

https://www.jhunewsletter.com/article/2010/11/a-peek-behind-the-curtain-the-basics-of-bdsm-and-breath-play-90395/

Fact: a kid in my high school literally died from experimenting with autoerotic asphyxiation. Because he enjoyed the sensation but didn't know how to safely explore those feelings. If he'd had access to a resource like this: https://www.tryquinn.com/blog/breath-play

then he might be alive today.

Pornography is not a teaching tool.

Everyone should be taught, before accessing porn, that porn is not a teaching tool. It's fiction. It's more often than not 'do not try this at home'

Has anyone ever expressed that to you before?

skyla-radfeminist-deactivated20

you literally just said that kinks don't cause physical and mental harm, and then the very next sentence said it caused a kid to die 💀. I say choking just from the top of my head, but this applies to any kind of violent kink, and iv given you a list.

moniquill

Ignorance caused a kid to die. I'm not sure how I can make that more clear to you. No amount of moral indignation was ever going to stop that kid from exploring autoerotic asphyxiation. Knowledge of the subject might have saved his life.

You have accused me on being deliberately obtuse elsewhere in this discussion. I turn that on you now; do you really and truly not understand that mitigation of risk through knowledge saves lives? Do you think that humans will stop masturbating in ways that feel good if you say 'IT IS WRONG AND BAD TO LIKE THAT' hard enough?

Are we having a miscommunication about what the word 'kink' means? The definition I'm going by is 'In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional.' - that means that literally anything that an individual does to achieve orgasm that is not pure physical stimulation of the genitals. Yes, that even includes other erogenous zones on the body - being able to orgasm from nipple play is, in fact, a kind of kink. It's just a really common and accepted one. For example.

skyla-radfeminist-deactivated20

I'm not sure why he discovered it, but he found it from somewhere. treating kinks as a non harmful thing and talking about them very openly leads to harm. I know you said porn isn't a good source for kink knowledge and I agree ofc, but it's how some people discover kinks and being very open with kinks can cause this.

I'm talking about violent kinks, not just any kink. I understand the confusion though I sometimes say just kink when I mean violent ones

womenarehuman

I can't believe we live in a world where people are legitimately debating over whether fucking a dead animal is ok or not.

Hint: No, it's not ok!

@foldingfittedsheets tell your friend that she married a shameless necrophiliac and that she should respect herself more than marrying a man who proudly fucked a dead animal. She lets that same man put the same dick inside of her that he put inside of a dead animal. Ask her why she hates herself and married such a grotesque and depraved man.

vatcher

if he fucked and ate a human person: harm or no harm?

the problem with a utilitarian worldview is the oversimplification and lack of nuance. watching pornography or engaging in kink is harmful because studies prove it rewires your brain via dopamine reward and causes you to seek increasingly extreme stuff, similar to getting radicalized by facebook algorithms. repeatedly engaging in violent or non-consensual fantasies is a strong predictor of who will actually be sexually violent.

also, a lot of things that we do because they feel good or give us release are not healthy. i don't see teaching minors safe auto-erotic asphyxiation methods as any different than teaching them how to safely self harm so they avoid major blood vessels, instead of trying to explain the dangers and redirect them to healthier outlets.

#there's also something to be said for the dignity of a living being #animals in the food industry are already treated like shit #something feels especially sinister about violating the corpse of a creature that lived and died so you could have meat in your meal #and that story tells me something about the chickenfuckers values whether or not anyone was directly harmed in the story

bellaxiao

Absolutely messed up..

it's important to educate yourself on the fallacy of choice feminism but at the end of the day the most revolutionary thing a woman can do is to stop hating yourself for making mistakes.

understanding how much female socialization has molded you into something exploitable makes you hate a lot of things about yourself. and misdirecting that frustration and disgust at ourselves is part of the socialization too.

yeah, it's still disgusting to know you were socialized for the benefit of the male class. but i don't think it should make you feel more ashamed or inferior than suffering a crippling injury in infancy ought to.

christianity tells you that the only way to be forgiven is to be truly repentant. it teaches you that the only way to be righteous is to believe that you are not righteous, and your only redeeming quality is your willingness to submit to an authority you will never see or hear, whose will you can only know through ancient texts or modern mouthpieces.

christianity is an extremely effective at grooming people into having no self worth, being eager to please, and easy to manipulate. true cognitive hazard.

#miss when this blog wasn't shaddowbanned

bulldyke-rider-deactivated20251

I know none of y'all are super religious, but if you have to say a prayer or banish evil or whatever every time you have a "thought put into your head by the devil"

You need to fight this religious based shame you have because it's starting to sound like OCD.

vatcher

i think religion causes obsessive/obsessive-compulsive thoughts in people with a predisposition toward those things.

i left religion and my family diesn't understand that what brought them solace made me create hell in my own mind to save myself from a literal hell further down the line

#you work so hard on doing nothing wrong and look up one day and think why has this made me miserable #turns out you need to take risks and take up space to feel alive

murielsbottombitch

why is it so hard for able bodied people to believe that doctors are sometimes just incompetent? you realize doctors are people, right? people that can be bad at their job. that happens sometimes. they don't know everything because there's a piece of paper on their wall that says they're smart, actually. they can sometimes be wrong, actually. they can sometimes cut corners and take the easy way out, actually. they can sometimes hate their job and make that their patients problem, actually. doctors aren't all saints who do everything right the first time. please stop invalidating disabled people when they complain about their terrible treatment at the hands of medical professionals. please stop putting the feelings of doctors over the lives of their patients.

pjharvey

why r some american tumblr users like the us education system didnt teach me that i have five toes on each foot so i didn’t learn it until my twenties 😞

vatcher

these posts in response to criticisms of public education are dumb.

if they teach the material in such a way that the majority of kids don't understand or retain the information, that's on the education they provide, not the students.

honestly the rapid increase in posts like this makes it feel like a psyop to put the blame back on us so we stop trying to change things

#these posts are only right to an extent and i think they do more harm than good

cakemadeofbacon

Hello !

Do you consider audiobooks reading no nuance

Yes !

No !

Voting ended onAug 26, 2024

vatcher

no, because reading requires full attention and concentrated effort.

also because audiobooks are expensive as hell and difficult to pirate, so money allows you to be much more well read than people who can't afford em.

you get the same amount of knowledge, but reading is more of a mental exercise. reading war & peace is not the same achievement as listening to it on your morning commute.

hadesoftheladies

both islam and christianity are colonial and misogynistic religions. like you don't have to venerate either one. they're both terrible. no woman who follows these religions wins.

darnitjack

Aw man, it's a shame these ladies are oppressed by their religion and are losers :(((

How sad they must be!

If only they had beed educated enough to write!

Think of what spiritual insights, and wonderful music could have been made if only Christian women were treated like humans, respected by the men in their lives + talked about for centuries later!

lordascapelion

Without Christianity OP would not even have the notion that being “colonial” is bad.

Also they’re probably an Urban Progressive which means they also have a proselytizing (“colonial”) belief system so I don’t care what they have to say.

hadesoftheladies

hey. i'm not american and also not progressive. the idea that christians are the only ones who had moral conscience or intellectual thought is also a racist and colonial idea, which further supports my earlier statements that christianity perpetuates imperialism and imperialist ideology.

dfghdfffffffdf

the single woman they can venerate is a woman who was nonconsensually supernaturally impregnated because real sex is too gross and women aren't supposed to desire only be desired. it's a woman who didn't choose to create a child with someone she loved, but is just the receptacle of a masculine figure with no choice in the matter.

the only reason she's even venerated is because she birthed a man, which is the only thing christian men think women are good for. and then that man went on to be venerated for doing the same thing women do everyday [telling people to get along and not murder each other, sacrificing themselves for others etc.]

vatcher

@darnitjack joan of arc was literally put to death for wearing men's clothes

poison-but-tasty-deactivated202

Dear men,

In case you haven't heard it today, you're kind, caring, handsome and smart. Don't ever let these misandrists ruin your day.

therealworld-3

women are inferior to us in every conceivable way and yet have the audacity to be misandrists. women in general are utterly stupid and devoid of logic,and should never have gotten the right to vote or make decisions about the fate of our country.

aishabellasbigblogofeverything

Like clockwork.

therealworld-3

yeah. used a radfems own words about men and spinned it to be about women instead, and y’all got mad like the hypocrites you are. Like clockwork.

vatcher

uhhh yeah dude. men used their suffrage to turn women into property. this is a rational way for women to feel. either men are stupid and devoid of logic, or they're actively evil.

you turned the tables and it read 100% typical misogynist because that's dun been the popular narrative for thousands of years dumbass did you think this was an original thought

#misogyny has been the norm for. let me check. all of recorded history?#i don't think all men are stupid and devoid of logic but you sure are #not all men but you for sure lmao

closetradfem-deactivated2024050

transmisogyny doesn’t exist.

you can’t experience misogyny if you are not a woman holy shit it’s not that hard to comprehend

vatcher

this post kinda does nothing if you're trying to reach people who believe in gender ideology. they're just going to say they're women.

you've got to say "misogyny is based on sex, not gender identity. you're discriminated against on the axis of your gender identity, not your sex."

#and since a lot of trans people don't experience dysphoria these days you can't classify it as a mental illness #so step 2 is to bring up whether or not you can be systemically oppressed for something you choose to do #rather than something you can't help experiencing

annebronte-deactivated20210628

reblog if you wear glasses. too many mutuals don't know they have glasses wearers in their midsts

#does it count if i need glasses but can't afford them

you-have-to-use-your-imagination

anyone who told you much ado about nothing is good and worth watching was RIGHT and you should listen to them

finn-shitposts

In Much Ado About Nothing, Beatrice and Benedick are adamant in their mutual dislike, while Claudio and Hero are deep in love, and the two s

Ah here we go! Free full play for anyone who needs it, i watched it last week so i still had the link in my history heh :D enjoy!

nymph1e

God I love this version

thesaltofcarthage

spectacular version. Tennant and Tate are on fire. Their comedic and dramatic chops are outstanding. They both should have gotten Tonys for this production. Tennant has always had the gift of making Shakespeare sound spontaneous and contemporary, but Tate more than holds her own with him.

dduane

Reblogging, because frankly I can’t get enough of these two. :)

whjwiwowpwlsskwjwbwbkwkwlwnw

another crazy thing about having been a prostitute is to realise how little difference there has been in how many of my male sexual partners have treated me and how sex buyers treated me, especially since i was an escort where often you get paid to simulate dates. i even had sex buyers beg to see me again meanwhile men in real life often ghost or keep me at armlength especially when there are no romantic feelings involved.

this is why i dont want to have sex without feelings and care for each other anymore - it almost feels like im prostituted all over again, bad in a different way because i actually like the men i sleep with and want them to like and appreciate me too and consider my desires (dont get me wrong obviously prostitution is always worse than sleeping with men im actually attracted to and want to have sex with but it hurts in a different way to realise that ive often also been just a means to get off to them).

like for example, since sex buyers often pay for time instead of sex act (or both combined), they want to get the most out of their money and do the most to you in the set time - but as a prostitute you want to get it over with as soon as possible and it feels like torture. meanwhile so many heterosexual men who dont pay for sex try to reach orgasm as soon as possible and then its over, lmao. like the direct comparison between having been prostituted and having voluntary sex with men will make you feel absolutely crazy but it also made me realise why i thought i didnt even like sex for so long. because i was always treated like an object, not a person. men will do the bare minimum to keep you around for sex if they dont see you as wife material (and then they also do just little more than the bare minimum up until they reached their goal of marriage then usually start neglecting their wives as we know).

which brings home the point that we need a cultural and legal shift. as long as men treat sex as masturbation with another person, and women as objects or tools, there will always be demand for prostitution, and there will always be (privileged) women deluded into thinking „might as well get paid for it“ or even „at least now im being appreciated“, paradoxically. thats how bad heterosexual men treat women in bed.

this also emphasises that yes, #allmen, because even the men who dont buy sex contribute to the system of sexual exploitation with their behaviour. the reason ive heard men say most often why they dont buy sex is not care for women, but pride. they can convince women to get them off so why pay for it? same with porn, they dont stop watching because they care about women, but because their dick stopped working. and then of course you have a lot of sex buyers who dont even want to do the bare minimum mentioned above so they buy sex to go immediately to using a womans body with no „hassle“. the state of heterosex is fucking dire because i know im by far not the only one experiencing this.

and even before prostitution i could feel it but not really put my finger on it, now with this horrible experience and a radical aligned feminist view on things i realise and its really dark.