Well my guys, gals, and non binary pals—as a lot of you already know I got caught two weeks ago. At Ulta, of all places 🙄I told y'all I was gonna give it 8 days to be paranoid and those have come and gone so now I’m moving on. But it is now my solemn duty to make this post for y'all, as many other lifters have before me, to hopefully keep this from happening to you.
Well, here’s what I Did Wrong:
• I felt “off” from the beginning. The little Ulta spree with my friend was something we planned on doing for weeks, and we decided on a Thursday, but on the day of came down with the flu. Probably the universe tryna tell me not to go but my stubborn ass really wanted a that Peach Palette. On the weekend leading up to Monday I felt “off”. I was no longer sick but I could sense something was wrong in my gut. All experienced lifters will tell you, time and time again—TRUST YOUR GUT. Cut your losses boo! That highlighter ain’t worth it!
• I went with a newbie. I’d gone with this guy before and it was a disaster but we didn’t get caught, and I figured since he’d been exposed already it wouldn’t be as bad the second time around. It was his idea to go this time and everything! So I said, Sure, Let’s Do It. (Stupid) Thing is he’s a total weenie. I knew this. It was the reason he brought me along to begin with—he didn’t have the stomach to actually lift things himself so he needed me for that. In return he’d give me a ride, shield me from the cameras, etc. If you read my post about my experience you already know how this ended, but if you haven’t I’ll just tell you: He totally abandoned me. I was about half way through concealing when he about had a panic attack at the store and just WALKED OUT, LEAVING ME TO FEND FOR MYSELF. That in itself isn’t so bad, but he’d caused such a seen that the SAs were looking at me now, and I couldn’t seem to shake them. But the worst part is that he left me. He totally just… drove away. I already knew he was a wimp, but I never in my wildest dreams imagined he was that weak. Moral of the story is don’t give newbies the benefit of the doubt. If you can already sense that they don’t have what it takes from the beginning chances are when things get real they’ll crack, and they’ll act to save themselves.
• I got greedy. With the added assistance I got a little bit too comfortable and loaded up. Usually I only get enough to fill up my bag but I got twice as much this time around, at least. My strategy was to conceal in my purse, go to the bathrooms to empty out the bag and move the items so they’re concealed on my body, get back out to the floor and use the free bag space for the rest of the merchandise. If it’d settled for the things I’d concealed on my body and left then, we could have been in and out without incident. I think the SA was suspicious from the beginning tbh, so I think if I’d done this she would have checked the cameras after we left and maybe put up my picture in the back if they saw me conceal on camera. I’m pretty sure I only concealed in blind spots, but it’s kind of a blur at this point I can’t even be sure.
• Along those lines, I abandoned the cotton ball method. For those of you that are not familiar with the cotton ball method here’s what you do
- you walk into Ulta
- you get yourself a tote
- you grab a couple of bags of cotton balls
- you browse around the store, subtly slipping the items you want behind the cotton balls in your bag, so the SAs can never say they saw said item in your possession
- conceal in a blind spot
- buy the cotton balls, if the store is empty. If they’re too busy to notice me I just put them back and leave
(I DID NOT COME UP WITH THIS METHOD!!!! I LEARNED THIS FROM ANOTHER LIFTER ON HERE I DONT REMEMBER WHO)
…anyway so this time I didn’t do that. I just straight up put the things I wanted in the tote for the whole world and God to see. (Stupid) The first time I remember the SA notice me was when she glanced at all the eyeliners in my tote, and asked me if I’d like for her to take it to the front. Now, if you know anything, you know this is a HUGE red flag!! And because I’m not a /total imbecile I decided to swallow my pride and try to get tf out of there.
• This is more storytelling than an actual point but read it anyway. So at this point I decide I’m just gonna dump and leave. But it’s too late. The SA has taken to “”“subtlety”“”“ following me around, like “oh what s coincidence you’re here, at the very section I have to stock this shit, of fiddle with the displays lol” 🙄 Bitch you ain’t slick. But neither am I, apparently. So once I’m in front of the UD eyeliners wanting to put them all back, I realize I can’t do that with her literally right next to me without practically waving a big red flag that says “HEY!!! IM STEALING!!!” so I start thinking I’m just gonna have to man up and buy something just to get her off my back. I make up some bullshit story about a little sister who I wanted to her a whole collection of eyeliners for, “but I read the prices on these eyeliners wrong, i thought they were cheaper”. At which point she leads me to the NYX eyeliners which are, admittedly, a whole lot cheaper but I’m still broke af. So I’m sweating and weighing my options here and while I try to decide on a plan of action I’m stalling her/buying time by sending her to the front to ring up the cheap eyeliners but always came back 2 seconds later to hover over my shoulder. Around the 3rd time I do this I think she caught on… pt.1
• pt. 2/ OMFG so here’s what happens next: remember how I told you I’d concealed a shit ton of stuff on myself? Well while I’m looking at the nyx eyeliners, completely by coincidence, some random highlighter (I think?) falls from the display and my dumb ass bends down to pick it up. When you have 10 peach lip glosses stuffed in your pockets and 5 palettes tucked into the waistband of ya jeans you’re gonna look a little funny if you’re bending. I turn to hand her the highlighter and she asks “is there something in your pockets?”
• OKAY HERE’S AN ACTUAL POINT. I LET HER LOOK IN MY BAG. DON’T DO THAT. SAY NO. So she asks if there’s something in my pockets and I reach in and pull out a lip gloss and go “oh I’m sorry I think I accidentally put this in my pocket” but she’s not buying it AT ALL. I didn’t think she would but I figured why not try lmao. Then she asks if I have anything in my bag (I did), to which I say no but my dumb ass let’s her look in anyway. And she goes, mhhhhhhmm. That’s when the older SA comes up to us and asks what’s going on. This bitch holds up that dumb highlighter and says “This fell out of her pockets so I looked in her bag and she has a ton of stuff in there!”
- the highlighter fell off the display Not my pocket. But she was already suspicious and probably was just looking for an excuse to look in my bag/pockets anyway.
- there were like TWO highlighters in there, the fuck? Not a ton of stuff at all, that she could see anyway. 🙄
• So then the senior SA says “alright im gonna need you to come up to the front and empty out your bag” so I follow her and she goes behind the register. And I make the decision real which that I ain’t gonna risk getting the cops called on my ass. I’m just not. I can’t pay for the things in my bag and this adrenaline gonna wear off REAL SOON, so it’s now or never.
Which leads me to the Things I Did Right:
• I ran. I do not regret running in the least bit, it was probably my best shot tbh. The SA goes behind the counter and we literally RIGHT NEXT to the door so I just book it. In hindsight I should have dumped the things I had in my bag and then ran but I wasn’t thinking about that 😂 they didn’t chase, but the senior SA called to the other girl to called the cops so I REALLY panic. I run around the parking lot trying to find my friend (fully aware that the SA was watching from the door waiting to write down the plate number of whatever car I get into) and I’m slowly coming to the realization that this bitch fucking drove away. I am furious, and I am running out of time and options. So I pull out my phone and I’m trying to get ahold of this guy while I’m literally SPRINTING to the McDonald’s across the street 😂he finally picks up and I am yelling at him, probably causing a scene in the McDonald’s parking lot, demanding he pick me up.
• alright so it was pretty shitty of him to leave me, yes, but it’s ironically the best thing that could have happened. The SA didn’t see the car he was driving, the plates, OR HIM! Side note: the whole reason I was paranoid for a week after this whole thing was because he made a hair appointment with them when we went in the store, so they had all his info. So if they didn’t see him driving, he drove separately, etc. they couldn’t actually prove he was involved or knew anything. Or if they did then they plainly saw that he abandoned me 🙄so that might tell whoever investigated that he didn’t want anything to do with it, left as soon as he saw I was lifting, etc.
• I concealed on myself! That was actually so smart to do because even though she checked my pockets and purse she didn’t do a pat down or anything so she didn’t know the full extent of the shit I got. If she had I’d probably have been in a lot more trouble tbh.
• I wore a big jacket over my spirit wear! The thing that got those football players from my school caught for shoplifting last year was that they literally wore shirts with our school name on them. The police were able to just show up at our school and be like “Hey who dis? Cool” since then I always make it a point not to wear anything that could lead back to me. I was wearing a club shirt that day (stupid) but I was smart enough to put a big ol jacket over it, and keep it on the entire time.
Well that’s my tale. In case you didn’t wanna read all that Shit here’s the high points:
Trust your gut. Don’t go with a newbie. Don’t get greedy. If they ask to look in your bag, always say “no”. Conceal on yourself whenever possible. ALWAYS conceal in blind spots. Know the store policies, because in some cases you’re better off running, in some cases you’re better off cooperating. Don’t give the store any of your info. If you’re buying, pay with cash. Don’t wear spirit wear.
janainaart
stormborns
germansingergirl
jbbartram-illu
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snowghoul
